REAL LOVE CAN TAKE SOME TIME
by Rick
Summary: A LOVE STORY STARRING BUFFY AND HER WHITE KNIGHT, XANDER
1. Chapter 1-3

b!-- saved from url=(0050)http://www.slayerette.org/fanfic/rick/rlctst1.html --  
  
Part One: It's Still Me  
  
Xander was tired getting his arse beaten night after night. He went home from patrol black and blue more often than not. This might not have bothered him as much if he had some undead ashes to justify the aches and pains. During most evenings of patrol this was not the case.  
  
He decided to do something about it. He began to take martial-art training six times a week. He rode a bicycle everywhere he went to build his leg muscles. The slayerette developed a real work ethic. He possessed an uncanny ability to identify and exploit the weakness of his opponent. He easily mastered the moves, which his instructor so painstakingly taught him. His dedication to detail enabled him to develop mental and physical discipline. The stuff that greatly enhanced his chances of surviving a place like Hellmouth.  
  
Xander was starting to gain confidence in his ability to be of real help to Buffy. He was determined to be whatever she needed him to be.  
  
He began to believe it was his destiny to walk the darkness with her, to shed whatever light he could on her midnight path.  
  
It came to him in brief intense bursts. In those shining moments he saw himself beside her linked at a depth were both life and love are defined.  
  
The truth of these moments was staggering! He could barely catch his breath. He didn't know much but he knew he was on the right track. Bring it on!  
  
He kept his new life-style to himself, however. Buffy would only tell him to stop. She was the slayer. She wouldn't stand for anyone else to be in the direct line of fire. She had to deal with enough right now. He would bide his time doing what he could do to help, as always.  
  
Buffy's life was grim. Her Angel was ripped from her at the moment, which should have been their most joyous occasion. She could barely keep her head above water. She retreated into a shell, letting herself out only to do the basics. Her friends could not breach the barrier. Willow tried on many occasions.  
  
Xander did what he could for her. His heart was breaking. Buffy very seldom acknowledged his efforts but, his commitment to her never wavered.  
  
One night the whole gang was on patrol. Nothing much was happening but, the stench of evil was very definitely hanging in the air. Giles, Cordelia, Oz and Willow were casing one end of the cemetery while, Buffy and Xander took the other end.  
  
"It's pretty dark and empty tonight." Buffy stated matter of factly.  
  
"Yea, it is", remarked Xander, looking at her intently. "But, at least most of us can go home and get away from it. It seems you're not so lucky."  
  
Buffy looked at Xander, very surprised by his insight.  
  
"I guess I'm not doing such a good job moving on, am I?"  
  
"It's okay, Buff." He takes a few steps toward her. "You are officially excused for now.  
  
"Well, thank you kind sir. What brought on this episode of supporto-man."  
  
"I have my moments. Listen Buffy, even if it doesn't seem like it most of the time I can see you are in pain. No matter how I feel about you and Angel, I am sorry. I'm your friend. If you are in pain so am I. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on I'm here, free of charge."  
  
Buffy can only stare as Xander walks away. Something about him seemed different. She actually felt a sense of comfort in his words...…..And his presence.  
  
Wasn't that Xander? My friend Xander?  
  
She shakes her head as if to clear some cobwebs  
  
What was that all about, now?  
  
The slayer has little time to dwell on it. The ground rumbles. All at once a number of bodies rise from their graves. They hover about ten feet in the air. The gang stands frozen.  
  
Buffy is the first to speak. "Ah, Giles, what's going on?"  
  
"It appears the vam...Vampires are airborne."  
  
"How is that for an in-depth analysis of the situation. Way to go, G-man!"  
  
The sudden movement of the vamps interrupts any further discussion. They start to fly in the direction of the park. The gang pursues them.  
  
A whole group of teenagers are partying in a remote corner of the park. They are completely oblivious to the oncoming terror. By the time they realize they are under attack it is too late to do anything but, scatter in panic. One vampire swoops down upon a young girl, tearing a gaping hole in her throat as it crashes into her.  
  
Screams of terror can be heard everywhere as Buffy enters the park. Although sickened by the sight of people being attacked, she begins to mount an offensive, one vamp at a time.  
  
Xander and the rest join her.  
  
When Buffy sees them, "Willow, you and Cordelia see if you can get these civilians out of here. The rest of us will try to battle them."  
  
Buffy gets one to chase her. She maneuvers it into a tree. It hits with a thud.  
  
"Boy, you're a smart one." She stakes it in a hurry.  
  
Xander tries to swing upward with his stake but can't reach any of them. He decides to change his strategy. He stands completely out in the open trying to draw one of them. It works. As it approaches he concentrates on its presence. Just as it is about to pounce He viciously swings his stake upward into its chest while sidestepping its path.  
  
The vampire's howl of agony is broken as it turns to dust in the wind.  
  
Buffy is wide-eyed as she witnesses Xander's victory.  
  
"Xander, that was very good!"  
  
"Let's try it together, Buff."  
  
While Willow and Cordelia finish getting the teenagers out of the way, the rest of the vampires concentrate on our heroes.  
  
Giles and Oz team up to nail one.  
  
Buffy and Xander stand very still, waiting for the monsters to come to them. As two more get ready to sweep them they are abruptly torn from their deadly deal by the thrust of stake to undead flesh. The blowing ashes coat a nearby tree before falling to the ground.  
  
"Dam, that felt good." Remarked Buffy as they prepared to wait for more.  
  
For a few seconds she looks at Xander. He notices.  
  
"What?" He nervously puts his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Nothing, I just...  
  
She doesn't finish. She felt a sudden rush of emotion toward Xander but shakes it off to get ready to face more of the flying vermin.  
  
They make short work of the remaining vampires. Xander's new found confidence was a big boost. It was a real team effort. Unfortunately some lives were lost. The police and others would deal with this tragedy the way they dealt with it in the past; without a clue.  
  
Despite the horror of the lost lives a more extensive disaster was averted.  
  
For Hellmouth that almost equals a victory.  
  
As they begin to leave something pulls Xander's attention to an abandoned building on the grounds of the park. The overhead light shines down toward two broken bay windows on the first floor. As he looks he swears he sees Angelus shaking his fist at him.  
  
"Buffy, do me a favor. Look behind us to that abandoned house."  
  
Looking back she sees nothing. "What about it, Xander?"  
  
"You didn't see..."  
  
He stops short. He decides not to pursue it. They had enough excitement for the evening.  
  
Buffy looks at him. "What, Xander?"  
  
"Nothing, I must just be tired."  
  
Giles hears their exchange. He and Buffy look at each other before continuing. Giles looks back toward the building once or twice more. He has learned from years on the Hellmouth that most things of this nature mean something. He makes a note to himself to ask Xander what he saw.  
  
Buffy and Xander look at each other as they finally leave the park behind. They exchange a very nice smile.  
  
"Nice work, slayer."  
  
"Same to you, sir."  
  
Cordelia sees and hears this exchange. She doesn't like it one bit.  
  
"Xander, do you think you can focus your eyes in my direction?"  
  
Cupping her face in his hand, "Can you give me a little bit of incentive to do so my oh so fare closet partner?"  
  
"That can be easily arranged."  
  
The two ill-mated slayerettes exchange a very nice kiss. They continue walking, arm in arm.  
  
After sighing loudly Cordelia feels the need to share her unique view of the evenings festivities.  
  
"Well, there goes another night of my social life down the drain. When are we ever going to do something normal like going to the movies, or the opera?"  
  
Xander can't resist a comment. "The opera? I don't think normal people..."  
  
The brunet doesn't let him finish. "Xander, please, what would you know about the subject?"  
  
He takes his arm from around her as everyone enjoys a hardy laugh at his expense.  
  
"Hey, it wasn't that funny. You people are all comedicaly challenged if you thought that was funny!"  
  
Buffy looks at him with a weird expression on her face. "We're all what?"  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
The mood remains light. Even Giles gets into it. "Perhaps we can all go home and, at least, get some normal sleep.  
  
Willow looks at the watcher. "That was actually good, Giles."  
  
  
  
  
  
As Buffy plops down on her bed her thoughts go back to Xander. There was something very different about him tonight. Something weird. But, it wasn't bad weird. She can't figure it out  
  
What was it she felt in his presence tonight?  
  
Has Xander always been this comforting and caring toward her?  
  
She is too tired to think about it any more. She falls asleep feeling just a little bit better than she has in awhile. Her life seemed just a little more manageable. She even managed a smile.  
  
  
  
  
  
In some dark part of a rat-infested sewer Angelus curses to himself.  
  
"So, the little boy has finally caught her eye. Maybe it's time to see what the pathetic little twerp has inside of him. I'll call a few friends. "We'll make a party of it."  
  
  
  
Part Two: Rachel, The Non-violent Vampire  
  
Buffy takes a turn for the worst. The Angel thing really has her down. Her mood shifts between somber and bitter. Xander has been taking patrol with her. She has been all business. He decides to lighten the mood.  
  
He waits outside her house. As she is trying to climb down from her bedroom, she has a hard time finding the shrub she usually uses as a ladder. She very clumsily slips, almost falling, growling and groaning all the way down. She barely makes it to the ground without breaking something. Xander stares.  
  
"What, Xander?"  
  
"Is that a new move you're working on?"  
  
"Very funny!"  
  
He keeps it going. "No, really. You could fool the vamps. We'll let them see you do that. Then, while they are doubled over laughing, we can stake them with ease."  
  
Buffy looks at him with furrowed brow. "Xander!"  
  
"We can even make a song out of it; The clumsy-ass-slayer shuffle."  
  
Buffy tries to stay serious but has to laugh. "Xander, will you stop it. Did you take a goofy pill or something?"  
  
"I'm merely a reporter of life, Buffy. "It's not my fault you're clumsy."  
  
"I am not clumsy!"  
  
"Well, slayer, I hate to tell you this but, I have the whole thing down on video tape. I'm going to send it into that TV program. Maybe it will win the slayer blooper of the year award. Is that show still on?"  
  
Buffy has given up trying to be serious. "Xander, you are crazy. I mean really crazy!"  
  
He stops her. He bends down in front of her, putting his hand on the toe part of her shoe.  
  
"Maybe this affliction of yours is not an internal problem. Maybe it is a shoemaker problem. Where does your toe come to in this shoe? Maybe they are too big."  
  
Buffy has had enough of his shenanigans. She reaches her hand down, tickling him.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?"  
  
When she sees how ticklish he is she gets him with both hands.  
  
"I'll get the craziness out of you!"..."Got a little problem there, Xander?"  
  
With much difficulty he tries to return the favor. "How about you?"  
  
Xander starts to get her, too. They giggle and wrestle and roll all over the grass. Buffy straddles him, pinning his arms to the ground. Her momentum takes her down on top of him. They look into each other's eyes. The mood turns serious. Before she can even think about it Buffy brings her lips down softly onto Xander's mouth. He immediately leans into her touch. Both become pleasantly aware of just how much of their bodies are touching. For a brief moment they experience a very passionate embrace.  
  
Just as suddenly as it happened it was over. Buffy, realizing what she had done, opens her eyes in shock. She jumps up! It takes her a moment to catch her breath.  
  
"Oh my God, Xander, I am so sorry!"  
  
Xander, also needing time to clear his head. "It's. It's ah...okay, Buff."  
  
Holding his hands in front of him as if trying to stop something. "I understand. You miss Angel. It's...It's alright."  
  
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, they go to the cemetery for patrol. Neither says a word.  
  
As they are on the way home Buffy feels the need to say something. "Xander, I really am sorry."  
  
"Listen, Buff, we are friends. That's the important thing. You are under a lot of stress... It just happened. We were having a good time. Something you haven't been doing much of lately."  
  
They exchange a very warm smile.  
  
"Thank you, Xander."  
  
Buffy goes into her house. She has one problem with what Xander said. The kiss rocked her. She can't deny it.  
  
But, he's my friend, Xander. My platonic friend, Xander...He's right. It was just a fluke.  
  
  
  
  
  
As Xander turns the corner to go to his house he is lost in the memory of his encounter with Buffy.  
  
It was everything he thought it was going to be. A true slice of heaven.  
  
Of course, he has to remember. It was Buffy  
  
Buffy Anne Summers.  
  
She of the Buffy and Angel pairing. Even with her Angel gone to the bloodthirsty Angelus, he stood little chance with her.  
  
It was just a fact of life.  
  
He thought it best to just forget the whole thing. Unfortunately for him he didn't forget it sooner. By the time he senses he is being followed it is too late. For a mammoth, clawed, furry beast was bearing down on him. Xander starts to run but is barely able to stay one or two feet in front of it.  
  
Whatever the thing was Xander didn't want to show it where he lived. He runs past his house toward a wooded area. The running wasn't working. The monster was almost as fast him. He decides to find a good place to make a stand against it. He sees an iron pipe lying against a wooden fence. He stops. He picks it up and swings it as hard as he can toward the face of the beast.  
  
It connects with the thing, square in the jaw. As it howls in pain, Xander nails it, again. He follows with a straight kick to the chest.  
  
It never expected a battle like this from Xander. It screams at him.  
  
"You're finished now, boy!"  
  
The monster takes a swipe at him with his claw. It rips a wound from Xanders shoulder down to his wrist.  
  
The boy comes back with a viscous sidekick to its neck. The beast stabs at Xander with It's clawed hand. It plunges into Xanders stomach.  
  
With one hand Xander clutches at his stomach. With the other hand he shakes a stake down from his sleeve. Bending down he hides the stake from the monster's view. Thinking the boy hurt, the beast prepares to finish the job. It rushes him. With all the strength Xander can manage he thrusts the stake upward and forward. It plunges to the heart of the beast.  
  
For a moment it just stands there, blinking in shock.  
  
Finally, it bursts into fire, melting to green goo!  
  
  
  
The pain of his wounds overtakes Xander. He falls to the ground.  
  
"Holy shit!"  
  
He is bleeding from his arm and his stomach. That dude was out of Xander's league and he knows it. He is lucky to be alive.  
  
As he is lying there contemplating his luck a woman approaches him. She is about 5'7" tall with long, flowing, jet-black hair. Her features are soft and gentle. She has a very soothing and gentle gait about her. Her presence would lighten up any dark night.  
  
She comes to Xander. Thinking her an aggressor he desperately tries to use the wooden fence to boost him into a fighting stance  
  
"I'm not here to hurt you, young one."  
  
"Good, because I've had enough for one night."  
  
"You are a very good fighter but, you are hurt."  
  
Falling back against the fence. "Tell me something I don't know."  
  
Rachel pulls a clean handkerchief from the sleeve of her dress. She goes to Xander's pack, pulling out a bottle of water. She wets the cloth. Then, she starts to pat Xander's arm wound. She rolls the sleeve of his shirt up to his shoulder so she can see the full extent of it.  
  
Even in his weakened state Xander can sense this woman is not human.  
  
"You're not a normal person, are you?"  
  
"Like, you are?"  
  
"Well, last time I checked I was."  
  
"You don't know too much about yourself, do you?"  
  
He is too out of it to ask what she means. He gets back to the point.  
  
"What are you...A vampire, maybe?"  
  
"Only when I have to be."  
  
Managing a small laugh but, then grimacing as he gets a pain in the stomach. "Good answer. You do know who I work with and what we do most of the time?"  
  
The vampire nods.  
  
"Are you cleaning me up for say...a midnight snack, later?"  
  
"I don't feed on humans. I never have."  
  
"A non-violent vampire. That's neat. In fact, you're neat. What's your name?"  
  
"Rachel. You're Xander, right?"  
  
"You know my name. Why do you know my name?"  
  
"Because I've been watching you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because this shouldn't be happening to you, Xander."  
  
"Well, thank you, Rachel."  
  
Rachel continues to lovingly clean Xander's wounds. Every so often she looks into his eyes. He is smiling very warmly at her. He also has this funny look in his eyes.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that Xander?"  
  
"Let's see, Rachel. First, this ugly monster attacks me. Then I'm laying here thinking that I might bleed to death. I was having a real lousy night. But, then this unbelievably ravishingly beautiful woman comes to my rescue. In her wonderfulness she decides to heal me from my deathbed. And, she smiles at me the whole time she is doing it. I would think I died and went to heaven except for the whole you being a vampire thing.  
  
Rachel has to laugh. "You are certainly good with the words, aren't you?"  
  
"Did I mention the fact that you are beautiful?"  
  
"Xander, your stomach is still bleeding. You should go to the hospital."  
  
Getting serious. "Rachel, were you going to let that thing kill me?"  
  
"He wasn't going to kill you, Xander, you didn't let him do anything else."  
  
"Did you send him, Rachel?"  
  
Very hurt. "No, I didn't, Xander, I merely followed him."  
  
Seeing that this hurt Rachel, Xander puts his hand on her cheek. "I'm sorry, Rachel."  
  
  
  
"That's okay."  
  
She gets up to leave. Xander gets to his feet. "Wait a minute, Rachel."  
  
He goes to her. He gently caresses her face. She leans into his touch. He steps closer to her.  
  
"Thank you, Rachel."  
  
They stare at each other. Xander is very attracted to her. He can't help himself. He reaches to her lips. She doesn't protest. They enjoy a very nice kiss.  
  
As Rachel is walking away. "Who did send him, Rachel?"  
  
"Somebody very close, Xander."  
  
"Rachel, feel free to come see me at any time. Especially, when I'm in trouble. Yes, that will be it. Every time I am in trouble you bring that wonderful self of yours to me. Bring your beautiful..."  
  
Rachel just laughs as she leaves, listening to Xander mumble to himself.  
  
  
  
  
  
Xander can barely pull himself from the bed to go to school. He didn't get back to the hospital until very late. As usual, his mother and father weren't. It didn't even bother him any more. He was adopted, anyway.  
  
What did bother him was the fact that his stomach was almost healed. Last night it looked serious. Today it looked like a scratch.  
  
  
  
Part Three: Giles Meets a Long Lost Friend  
  
Rupert Giles woke up weary. The feeling was very familiar to him. His job wore him out most of the time. Buffy was his best slayer, ever. But, she was still a young woman in need of training and direction and support.  
  
When she first started to have a relationship with Angel, Giles thought it good. He actually helped. But, then everything turned dark. It turned dark long before that fateful night when he changed to Angelus. It was tearing her apart. Six days a week she hunted and killed every vampire she and the Scooby gang could find. On the seventh day, she laid with one. The basic contradiction of this was not helpful to the situation.  
  
Angel was too needy, for one. His guilt pulled him down. It pulled her down, too. Giles noticed that whenever Buffy spent time with Angel she would lose her edge. This is not a problem for most people. For Buffy, however, it was disastrous. Giles felt his first and foremost duty to Buffy was to try to keep her alive. He viewed every event in her young life through this lens.  
  
Now that Angel was his evil alter self, it was unbearable. Buffy was constantly torn between her duty to put the daemon, Angelus, to dust and the knowledge that if and when she did it she would be putting her precious Angel to dust with him.  
  
This was much too much for Buffy to handle. The watcher was always secretly hoping somebody or something would break the emotional hold the vampire had on her. If it wasn't done soon Giles doubted Buffy would last much longer. This was the chief reason for his constant weariness.  
  
Of course, spending most of his time with teenagers was not exactly his cup of tea, either. This was especially the case with American teenagers. They were so dam arrogant. Oh, to be back in the glorious England, where they, at least, knew the language. The particular brand of English these Americans spouted was a constant source of annoyance to the man in tweed.  
  
His greatest sorrow, however, was the death of Jenny Calender. She was his light in the darkness. He could barely handle thinking about her.  
  
This particular morning, a loud knocking on his door rudely awakened him. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, it would not go away. He pulled himself from the covers.  
  
"That better not be one of those damn kids." He told them never to bother him on a Saturday morning unless it was a life and death situation.  
  
He opened the door ready to blast the interloper who dared to disturb his beauty rest.  
  
Upon seeing who it was, however, all he could do was stare at the visitor with his mouth open.  
  
After remaining silent to allow her presence to sink in, Giles Saturday morning guest reached out to gently touch his face. "Aren't you going to invite me in, Rupert?"  
  
"Yes."…I mean, of course."  
  
The visitor waited but Giles didn't give her room to enter his house.  
  
"I still have my girlish figure, Rupert, but I need a little more room than that to slip by you. Unless, you want me to sort of work my way past you?"  
  
She squeezes her way through Giles to enter his living room.  
  
Giles turns toward his guest with a shocked expression on his face. He finally manages to address her. "Becky?"  
  
"Very good, Rupert. "You remembered my name."  
  
Rebecca was very pleased. She didn't know how Giles would respond to seeing her after so long a time. Well, actually it was a long time in Giles life. To Rebecca it wasn't so long. She had been around for a very long time. She measured time very differently than normal people measured it.  
  
Rebecca was not very tall, perhaps 5'6". She had lush brunet hair which, hung gently to her shoulders. Her features were very pronounced. Her eyes were amazing. They revealed a wisdom and a patience, which came from her understanding of life. You could tell she knew what it was all about.  
  
Also buried in those eyes was a sorrow. A sorrow born of years of dealing with the kind of evil with which all Hellmouth residents were very familiar?  
  
Rebecca could tell from Giles reaction to her surprise visit that he still held some deep affection for her. It was no surprise. They had been very close. She made no secret how she felt for him. He was the best man she knew, hands down. It always puzzled her why they could never manage to stay together. One of them always had leave. Either she was on the path of some super daemon or he had some sacred duty to perform.  
  
At any rate, it became quite evident that neither forgot the other. They exchanged a very warm kiss. Giles was finally able to put together a sentence.  
  
"Becky, how did you find me?"  
  
"Are you kidding, the famous Rupert Giles. I hear you have yourself a world class slayer this time?"  
  
"Yes, she is quite a proficient child."  
  
"Rupert, I heard of your loss." I am very sorry. "I cried for a week when I heard."  
  
"Is that why you decided to pay a visit, Becky?"  
  
"I wish it were, Rupert. But, then again, I think you knew the answer to that one before you asked."  
  
Giles knew that Rebecca's presence was not necessarily a good omen despite how much his heart soared when he saw her at his door.  
  
"I don't really know my exact reason for being here, Rupert, but I'm sure is has to do with your operation here."  
  
"Operation?"  
  
"Well, I understand you have a group of people with various talents who help you and the slayer?"  
  
"Kids." I have a group of kids who help, at times."  
  
"At times?"… Oh, I see. They are American teenagers. I know that doesn't sit too well with your stuffy British self."  
  
Giles just looks annoyingly at her. How well she knows him.  
  
"Would you help me get my things from the car, Rupert?" After that I would be up to taking you out for breakfast. "I know I woke you much too early on a Saturday morning."  
  
  
  
  
  
Xander had managed to avoid the rest of the gang during the school day. He knew everyone would react strongly to his wounds from the night before. It's not that he didn't like sympathy. It's just that he didn't want to hear it from the resident slayer. Lately, he was walking her home when both patrolled together. She went along with it but, only grudgingly. When she learns of this she will be very upset. Xander was feeling bad enough.  
  
He had to come to the meeting, however. He wanted to know what Giles thought of the attack. As soon as he walks into the library all eyes turn to his direction.  
  
Cordelia was the first to comment. "What happened to your arm, Xander?"  
  
"Ah, I had a little run-in with an angry ugly thing."  
  
Buffy immediately jumps in. "When, Xander? You were fine when you left me."  
  
She goes right up to him, rolling up his shirt sleeve "Xander, you're cut all the way up to your shoulder!" She also noticed a bandage around his stomach. "Xander, you really got messed up." Buffy looks at Xander with more caring and warmth than he can ever remember her doing before. So much so that Cordelia arches her eyebrows.  
  
She catches herself. "I knew I should never have agreed to you walking me home!"  
  
Xander is insulted. "Well, thanks a lot, Buffy."  
  
She is very upset, now. "You and your stupid male ego. Next time I'm not listening to you. It was a stupid idea."  
  
"Yea, okay slayer."  
  
"It's not, okay!"  
  
Xander has had enough. He goes toe to toe with her. "What happened to your compassion? It lasted about ten seconds."  
  
"It should never have happened!"  
  
"Look, Buffy, I'm the one who got attacked, okay!" And, I took care of it myself. Does that upset you?"  
  
Buffy is fuming now "You're dam right it does!"  
  
"Well, next time I'll ask the hairy son-of-a-bitch to please wait until I get you."  
  
"Are you trying to be funny, Xander?"  
  
"No, but I dam sure have had enough of your bullshit! I feel bad enough."  
  
Giles has been hearing this exchange. Usually he allows the gang to express their opinions to one another but feels this one has gone on long enough.  
  
"That will be enough out of you two! Buffy, please sit down." She reluctantly obliges  
  
"Xander, will you sit, as well?" He does  
  
"Now, please tell us what happened last night?"  
  
"After Buffy and I split up last night I was a little pre-occupied. I didn't notice that some big, ugly, hairy thing was following me. "When I did finally see it I started running but, it was too fast. I had to make a stand."  
  
Giles interrupts him. "Besides being hairy, What were its features?"  
  
"About 6' 6", or so. It looked like an evil Chewbaka."  
  
"An evil what?"  
  
Buffy answers. "You wouldn't get it, Giles. Get out the picture book."  
  
Giles disappears in the stakes.  
  
Buffy stares at Xander. He can feel her piercing eyes.  
  
"Buffy, do you know how ridiculous you're being?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I got attacked. I got hurt. I spent half the night in the hospital and you're mad at me."  
  
"I'm not mad at you, Xander. I'm sorry you were attacked but, it never should have happened!"  
  
"Are you talking about the attack or something else, slayer?"  
  
Buffy goes toe to toe with him. "From now on I patrol alone!"  
  
"Oh God, you mean I can't patrol with the great Buffy summers. My life is over!"  
  
Actually shocked and hurt by his response. "What has gotten into you, Xander?"  
  
Giles comes back with the picture book. Willow and Cordelia are still shocked by the intensity of the argument between Buffy and Xander. The two have had words before but this was different. Xander was every bit the match for her. The slayer knew it, too. Buffy looks a little surprised but, not necessarily sad. It was a very strange argument.  
  
Is there a new Xander? If there is are he and Buffy going to go at it like this all the time?  
  
Cordelia didn't like it at all. There was a passion to their argument, which made her very uncomfortable. She also doesn't like the way Buffy has been looking at Xander, lately.  
  
Xander looks at the book. He identifies his attacker as a behemoth known as, Melcheck.  
  
Giles looks incredulous. "Xander, are you sure it was Melcheck?"  
  
"No doubt about it, Giles."  
  
Buffy speaks. "Who is Melcheck, Giles?"  
  
"He is an enforcer. He is hired to teach people lessons."  
  
Buffy can't believe it. "You mean somebody hired him to teach Xander a lesson?"  
  
Giles ignores her question. "Xander, how did you get away from him?"  
  
"Ah, actually, I was able to stake him."  
  
Giles is wide-eyed! "You killed Melcheck? Are you sure?"  
  
"He did the whole burst into flame thingy. Then he melted."  
  
Rebecca had been in Giles office. He was going to introduce her to the gang but forgot with the whole Melcheck thing going on. When she hears Xander say he killed Melcheck she comes out.  
  
"You killed Melcheck?"  
  
When the gang sees Rebecca they immediately tense. Buffy jumps right up to her.  
  
"Who the hell are you?"  
  
Backing up a few steps. "Down slayer. I'm an old friend of Rupert's."  
  
When she calls him Rupert the whole gang look curiously at the watcher. Nobody has called him by his first name since Jenny Calendar  
  
"Yes, I'm very sorry, Becky. I got carried away with this whole Melcheck business.  
  
Turning to the Scooby gang. "This is Rebecca. She is an old friend of mine. She will be with us for awhile. You will find her a very valuable asset to our efforts."  
  
"Becky, these are most of the members of our operation as you called it."  
  
Rebecca walks around greeting everyone. She addresses Giles. "I'm impressed, Rupert. You certainly have collected a very talented group of young people here." She goes to Xander.  
  
"You defeated Melcheck?"  
  
Xander is a bit embarrassed. Rebecca makes it sound like he is a warrior who went to battle and defeated a great foe.  
  
"Well, it was more like I survived. It was him or me. It could have easily went the other way."  
  
Rebecca looks back at Giles. "And, he's even humble about it, very impressive."  
  
Buffy can't help but stare at Xander. It's like he is a different person.  
  
Rebecca goes to the slayer. "I can feel your power, Buffy. I heard so many good things about you."  
  
"Thank you, Rebecca. I can tell you are no slouch in the power department yourself.  
  
Pointing to Xander. "Do you work with him, Buffy?"  
  
The way she said it throws Buffy off. "Ah,you mean, Xander?"  
  
Rebecca nods  
  
"Well, he and I …I mean he patrols with me sometimes."  
  
"It's a natural pairing, you and he. You must exert a tremendous amount of influence on him?"  
  
Buffy doesn't know what to say. This is very confusing for her. What is it with Xander, now?  
  
When the meeting breaks up Xander is still upset at Buffy. He starts to walk out by himself. Cordelia catches up with him.  
  
"Xander, we have to talk."  
  
The boy recognizes the tone. He braces himself for bad news.  
  
"I can't see you anymore."  
  
Xander sighs.  
  
"It's not going to work."  
  
"Why isn't it, Cordelia?"  
  
"You know why, Xander."  
  
"Tell me anyway, Cordy, I forget."  
  
"I saw the way you looked at Buffy in the park the other night. And, the way she was looking at you, even today."  
  
"Are you getting lonely for your friends again, Cordy?"  
  
"Xander, we just have to cool it for awhile."  
  
Xander goes to her. He gently fondles her face. "Honey, please?"  
  
Stepping away from him. "I'm sorry, Xander."  
  
Realizing it's a lost cause. "Fine, Cordy. You want to break up? Okay, it's done. Again, your timing is perfect! Thank you!"  
  
He walks away, disgusted. Cordelia stares as he disappears down the hall. She gets a pain deep within her.  
  
Xander can't believe how bad this day is going. "First the Queen slayer, then the Queen C"  
  
As he walking towards his house he spots two vampires attacking a small blond-haired woman. He runs over to them. To his complete horror the woman is Buffy.  
  
He tackles one of them, staking it immediately. Buffy doesn't seem to be fighting back as the other vamp beats on her. Something must be wrong. He grabs the vamp, pushing it up against a chain link fence. As he is staking it he hears a roar behind him. A third vampire charges toward Buffy. He has a sword. Before Xander can respond the vampire plunges it into Buffy's chest.  
  
"Noooooo!!"  
  
He flies into the undead monster, killing it. Then, he goes to Buffy's side in tears. He cradles her in his arms. He can barely breathe. "Buffy… honey… no. This can't be. I can't lose you!  
  
Xander is jerked from his pain by a loud cackling behind him. The three vampires he had killed are pointing to him and laughing hysterically. When he looks back to Buffy it is not she anymore. It is a skeleton. It crunches to dust in his arms. The laughing vampires disappear.  
  
It was all an allusion!  
  
Xander falls back against the chain link fence, disgusted but also somewhat relieved.  
  
"What the hell is going on?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy is lying on her bed. She is mad at herself. Xander got attacked. Instead of offering him sympathy, as she wanted to do she got mad at him. Even when she started to check out his wounds she could feel Cordelia breathing down her back!  
  
  
  
Xander is confusing her. She has to laugh. When he was telling her off she could actually feel a certain confidence and power in him. This did not make her sad, at all.  
  
O course, she then thought of her Angel. The pain inside was almost constant. Even when it wasn't emotionally paralyzing it was still there. It resided in her like an unwelcome intruder. One she was unable to dislodge.  
  
She was never far from its effect. She didn't even try to let it go. It had her. Gripped her like a vice. It could get tighter but never did it seem to loosen!  
  
Then Buffy did what she did on most nights. She cried herself to sleep.  
  
!--META end--  
  
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Buffy and the Slayerettes are Property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. No Copyright Infringement is Intended. 


	2. Chapter 4-6

!-- saved from url=(0050)http://www.slayerette.org/fanfic/rick/rlctst2.html --  
  
Part Four: And, The Band Played On  
  
Xander is alone in his house. His parents are away on business, as usual. Weary from the pain of Buffy's apparent death He falls asleep, quickly.  
  
It doesn't last long. Something jerks him awake. He senses danger.  
  
Suddenly, a battle-axe comes crashing through his window, aimed straight for his head. He dives to the floor as it loudly embeds itself into his wooden headboard. When he tries to get up a foot connects with his chest, driving the boy into a wicker hamper. He looks up to see a horned monster swinging his size sixteen foot at him. Xander recovers enough to clutch at it as it connects with his mid-section. He twists its leg causing it to fall.  
  
  
  
This gives Xander enough time to jump up. The would be assassin gets up, also. For a few seconds they stare at one another. The beast then mounts a roaring attack at him. Xander sidesteps it then makes a beeline to the bed.  
  
He pulls the axe from the headboard and viciously wields it in the direction of the monster. It gets him chest high.  
  
As it bursts to dust, Xander smirks. "Should have went for the axe, stupid."  
  
Xander is pissed off and paranoid, now. He can't go to sleep. He gets dressed, leaving the house.  
  
He has got to find a place where he can think in peace. There must be a logical reason for all of this grief.  
  
The downtown Sunnydale library is a very old building. A huge edifice with high outside pillars, it stands on a hill overlooking the town. After carefully surveying it Xander decides it is a defensible position should anything else choose to attack him? With his back up against the end pillar he can see for a mile in any direction. His back is covered. Whatever comes for him will have to attack him from the front.  
  
All these attacks must have something to do with Buffy. His mind wanders back to the night in the park when he thought he saw Angelus shake his fist at him. Is Angelus mad because I still love Buffy? Do I still love Buffy? Stupid question.  
  
No, it can't be. I've loved Buffy from the very beginning. It has to be something, which has happened recently.  
  
Could it possibly be her? Could it be she is starting to have feelings for me?  
  
At first he dismisses this as ridiculous but, then he remembers the kiss.  
  
That was Buffy. All Buffy, at least until her lips touched mine. Angelus always seems to know what's going on in Buffy's life almost before she does. Is this the source of all these attacks?  
  
One thing Xander feels good about is the fact that he is still alive. Still alive and kicking!  
  
He's getting stronger, too. The bastard is not wearing him down! Whatever the bloodsucker's plan, it ain't working!  
  
Conan the Barbarian's philosophy lives on; "If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger."  
  
Amen!  
  
  
  
  
  
Willow meets Buffy at her house to go to school. As they start to walk the redhead looks expectantly at her.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that, Willow?"  
  
"Spill it, slayer!"  
  
Acting dumb, "Spill what?"  
  
"Come on Buffy. What is with you and the new Xander? That argument you had with him. It was loaded with passion. Cordelia had her mouth open"  
  
Buffy, realizing Willow is going to pry it out of her, anyway. "Will, do you promise never to tell another living soul?"  
  
"I'll put it in the vault."  
  
"The other night Xander and I were scheduled to patrol together. He came for me at my house. I was a little clumsy climbing down from my room. Xander started making fun of me. He was saying all kinds of crazy things. He was doing something to my shoe. I started tickling him and then he started tickling me. It really felt good. I haven't felt that loose since…Well, for a long, long time.  
  
I had his arms pinned to the ground. I sort of slipped down on top of him. We looked at each other. The next thing I knew I was kissing him.  
  
"Oh my God, Buffy!"  
  
"Kind of shocking, huh?"  
  
"Shocking is not the word, girl. Beyond shocking. Off the meter, shocking! What did he say?"  
  
"I apologized to him. He said it was okay. He said I probably missed Angel. He wanted to make sure we were still friends."  
  
"What does it mean, Buffy?"  
  
"I don't know,Will. It wasn't like patrol. It was more like a date or something.  
  
  
  
  
  
Xander was tired of brooding. He went back home, got some sleep and actually showed up at school.  
  
He runs into Buffy and Willow at the end of the day. He and Buffy stare at each other for a minute. Xander breaks the silence.  
  
"Are you still mad at me, Buff?"  
  
"Xander, I wasn't mad at you. I was concerned."  
  
"Okay, I accept that.  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yes, you're the slayer. I'm your friend. You were upset because you weren't there to help me. Right?"  
  
A little surprised at how easily he said that. Yea..That's exactly it."  
  
"Are we Bronzing tonight?"  
  
Both the slayer and the witch say, yes. Xander leaves.  
  
They watch him disappear down the hall.  
  
"Willow, correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Xander have more cuts and scrapes on him than he did the other night?"  
  
"Definitely. He's getting stranger and stranger by the day."  
  
Willow stares at Buffy.  
  
"What, I didn't do anything to him."  
  
  
  
  
  
Willow, Oz, Xander and Buffy are sitting at their favorite booth at the Bronze. Willow and Oz flirt and coo and kiss and do everything else allowable in public. Buffy and Xander mostly brood. Cordelia comes to the table. This is her first meeting with Xander since she broke up with him.  
  
"Hi, Xander."  
  
Xander looks up. With all that has happened in the last few days, he hasn't even been able to process Cordy's dumping of him. He sighs.  
  
"Hello Cordelia."  
  
"Can we still be friends, Xander?"  
  
"Cordy, a lot has been happening to me the last few days. I don't know if we can be friends or not. For tonight we'll just declare a truce. Have a seat."  
  
Neither Willow nor Buffy even knew Xander and Cordelia broke up. Xander didn't mention it when they saw him earlier.  
  
They all get something to drink and settle in for a night of doing what they usually do at the Bronze, dance and check out the other patrons. Cordelia gets up to go to the ladies room. Oz goes up to the stage. His band is playing tonight  
  
All was normal until a certain black haired beauty entered the doors of the establishment. Dressed in a dark green long-flowing dress, which perfectly highlighted her exquisite features, Rachel walked through the Bronze looking for a certain young daemon fighter.  
  
Wherever she went in the Bronze all heads turned in her direction. In addition to her exquisite beauty, Rachel has a smooth flowing gait about her. One which draws people in her direction. She is quite seductive  
  
Willow and Buffy see Rachel at the same time. Xander has his back to the dance floor. Buffy speaks first.  
  
"Who is that?"  
  
"I don't know. I just hope she's not interested in Oz!"  
  
Xander turns around to look.  
  
"Oh, shit." He turns back around, looking at Buffy. He is very nervous.  
  
"Hey, Buff." She looks at him "Ah..This is going to seem really strange to you but, this woman is a friend."  
  
Just as he is saying this Rachel recognizes him and walks up to their table.  
  
Buffy tenses as she speaks to Xander.  
  
"Hello, Xander." She smiles very seductively at him. Buffy and Willow have their mouths open.  
  
"Could we dance, Xander?"  
  
"Ah..yea..sure, Rachel."  
  
As they go toward the dance floor Xander stops. "Rachel, stay here a minute." He goes back to the table.  
  
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I know she is a vampire. I forgot to tell you. The other night when I was attacked Rachel patched me up. Without her I might not have made it to the hospital."  
  
He goes back to Rachel.  
  
"I didn't get you into any trouble, did I?"  
  
"Maybe but, I'm still glad to see you."  
  
"I'm glad to see you too, Xander."  
  
A slow song comes on. Xander holds his hands out to Rachel.  
  
"You know how to do this?"  
  
"You lead, I'll follow."  
  
Xander puts his head on her shoulder. She does the same to him.  
  
Rachel is a good dancer. They both really feel the music.  
  
Back at the table Willow and Buffy look at each other. Cordelia comes back. She saw the pair dancing. She asks, "What did I just miss, here?"  
  
"A ravishingly beautiful woman, vampire, came to the table, undressed Xander with her eyes, and now is putting him to bed."  
  
Buffy adds with shock. "And turning out the lights."  
  
Willow also ads, "He knows her. She's his friend!"  
  
"Unbelievable," adds the blond slayer.  
  
"I'm not allowed to be jealous, am I?" Nobody answers her.  
  
When the slow song is over a fast one comes on.  
  
"Alright, Rachel, let's see if you can shake and move that stuff you have. And, wonderful stuff it is, I must say."  
  
She does. They do, just about everything.  
  
Buffy, Willow and Cordelia continue to stare at the dancing couple.  
  
Rachel looks familiar to the slayer. She remembers where she saw her before.  
  
"Willow, do you remember I told you Angel was talking to a woman one night in the cemetery. A ravishingly beautiful woman who use to be his ex, I think."  
  
"That's her?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Buffy, how did our Xander all of a sudden get to be this heavy person."  
  
"I don't know but, I'm not going to let her hurt him."  
  
Cordelia looks at her. "I hate to tell you this, Buffy, but it doesn't look like she is hurting him at all."  
  
Xander and Rachel are really enjoying themselves.  
  
"Woman, you are good!"  
  
"I have to be to keep up with you."  
  
They dip and weave and dip some more. It is very sensual.  
  
Buffy is fuming. "Are they going to make love right there on the dance floor?"  
  
"They're not far from it."  
  
A slow song comes on. Midway through it Xander and Rachel look into each other's eyes.  
  
"Thank you, Xander."  
  
He doesn't answer. He reaches for her lips.  
  
Buffy sees them. "What is she doing to him?"  
  
Willow answers. "Buffy, it looked like he kissed her first."  
  
After a few really deep kisses, "Xander, how can you possibly be this good of a kisser?"  
  
"You have something going with your sweet lip yourself, my friend."  
  
Rachel sighs. "I better go Xander. "I'm really glad I came here tonight but I may prove to be a lot of trouble for you, Xander. Besides that, you are really confusing me."  
  
"I'm glad you came too, Rachel."  
  
"There's one thing I have to tell you, Xander. Angel is my ex."  
  
"We certainly have some common ties, don't we?"  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away."  
  
"You know Angelus is our chief enemy?"  
  
"I know. I don't condone what he does, either."  
  
"I think he is really out to get me now, Rachel."  
  
"I will try to help you as much as possible, Xander. I have to go now. Your slayer is staring a hole in him."  
  
"She's just prejudiced against vampires."  
  
"Yea, except she's in love with one!"  
  
"I'll walk you to the door, Rachel."  
  
As soon as Buffy sees Rachel go outside she bolts after her.  
  
"Rachel!"  
  
The vampire closes her eyes. She was half expecting this. Buffy catches up to her.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
"I met someone I'm attracted to, slayer. What's the problem?"  
  
"You know how he is. Is this a little vampire seduction routine?"  
  
"Is that what Angel did to you, Buffy?"  
  
"I get it. This is payback."  
  
Rachel looks at her in disbelief. "What?"  
  
The slayer goes to her, pushing the vampire toward the street "I'll only warn you once. Stay the hell away from him!"  
  
In the mean time Xander sees what is happening. He runs up to Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, my friend, what the hell are you doing?" He grabs the slayer. Rachel runs away.  
  
The slayer is steaming. "You're stupid, Xander! When it comes to women you are stupid! Do you really think she's interested in you? She's only trying to make me…"  
  
She stops short. "She's a vampire, Xander, she is dangerous!"  
  
"Buffy, if she were going to harm me she had the perfect chance. I was lying helpless on the ground right in front of her."  
  
Buffy, softening a bit. "Xander, don't be ridiculous. "You do know she's Angel's ex?"  
  
"Yes, Buffy, she told me." "Look, I'm not going to marry her. She's lonely. We had a few dances."  
  
"Xander, she had you undressed and in bed with the lights out!"  
  
"Buffy, please. I don't want us to have a big fight."  
  
"Then don't be stupid, Xander."  
  
"Buffy, I don't get into your private life."  
  
"I'll tell you right now. If she gets in my face again she's going down" She storms away. Xander follows her. He runs in front of her.  
  
"Don't say that, slayer. You better not touch her!"  
  
"You heard me, Xander."  
  
"Have we just gone a little bit crazy, here. Need I remind you, Buffy, your main squeeze is a vampire?"  
  
"You heard me, Xander."  
  
Very worried, "Yea, I heard you, Buffy, but I'm telling you to stop this right now." He grabs her arms.  
  
"Get off me, Xander!"  
  
"Come on, Buff, please?"  
  
"Let go, Xander."  
  
When he doesn't she hits him.  
  
By this time the whole gang is out. They all see it.  
  
Xander picks himself up from the ground. He wipes some blood from his lip.  
  
"I get the message." He leaves.  
  
Buffy is shocked. She can't believe she hit Xander. She tries to call to him.  
  
"Xander…"  
  
He doesn't answer.  
  
Cordelia runs up to Buffy. "Buffy, you hit Xander. What is your problem, girl?"  
  
"Oh, you have a lot of guts to get mad at somebody for hurting him! You just dumped him. That made him feel real good."  
  
Cordelia walks away. Willow goes to Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, lets go home."  
  
They walk in silence for a few minutes. Willow can see Buffy trying to fight back tears.  
  
"Willow, talk to me, please."  
  
"Buffy, you hit Xander! You punched him in the mouth."  
  
"I know. I know."  
  
"Why, Buffy?"  
  
"You saw the scene with Rachel… She's a vampire."  
  
"Like Angel, Buffy?"  
  
"So what is that? Is that suppose to be, in my face!"  
  
"I don't know what Xander is doing with her. Well, I mean I know what he is doing with her. But, I don't understand it but, I don't think he is going with her to make you jealous."  
  
"I'm not jealous. It's just...He's out of control."  
  
After a few minutes of walking. "Oh, Willow, what did I do? Is Xander ever going to talk to me, again?"  
  
"Buffy, he is really going to be mad."  
  
"I can't believe I hit him."  
  
The slayer can't hold back her tears anymore. Willow hugs her.  
  
"Buffy, the whole Angel thing is still tearing you apart, isn't it?"  
  
"I can't put it behind me, Willow. Tonight, when I saw Rachel…I just lost it."  
  
They walk the rest of the way to Willow's house in silence.  
  
The redhead wonders if what Buffy did tonight had more to do with Xander than with Rachel. She is so damn beautiful. Buffy had that passion in her eyes, again.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part Five: You're Driving Me Crazy, Slayer  
  
  
  
Xander completely ignores Buffy and Willow the next day in school. He does show for the meeting, however. Rebecca, Giles, Buffy, Cordelia, Willow and Oz are there. Xander sits without looking or talking to anyone. Buffy looks at him but he stares straight ahead.  
  
Giles begins. "The creature who attacked Xander is or, rather was, Melcheck, as most of you already know. Melcheck was two things, an assassin and an enforcer. He was an underworld strongman. We don't know under which title he visited Xander since…"  
  
Xander interrupts the watcher. "Giles, he wasn't going to kill me."  
  
"How did you learn that information, Xander?"  
  
"I forgot to tell you the other day, Giles, a woman helped me. She.."  
  
Buffy interrupts him. "A vampire!"  
  
Xander tries to continue. "Okay, she is a vampire. She.."  
  
This time Giles interrupts him. "You were helped by a vampire?"  
  
"She's a friend, Giles."  
  
Cordelia puts in her two cents. "They're are a little bit more than friends. They were practically making love on the dance floor, last night.'  
  
The slayer adds. "Right in front of everybody!"  
  
"You have a vampire friend who told you Melcheck wasn't suppose to kill you? How would she know, Xander?"  
  
The slayer again answers. "It was Rachel, Giles."  
  
"Rachel, you mean she of Angel and Rachel fame?"  
  
"It was her in the flesh."  
  
Xander pleads her case. "Giles, she's just lonely. She's a non-violent vampire. She has never fed on a human."  
  
Buffy can't resist "Except on you."  
  
Xander, looking at the slayer, hard. "Don't you think you did enough talking last night?"  
  
"It doesn't seem to have done you much good."  
  
Xander gets up. He goes to Buffy. She gets up, also. They stand toe to toe.  
  
"Leave Rachel alone, Buffy!"  
  
"I'm telling you now, Xander. Keep the vampire Queen away from me!"  
  
"The next time you want to touch her you're going to have to go through me!"  
  
"You forget, Xander, I get off on kicking ass!"  
  
Xander makes a move to grab her. Giles and Rebecca push him away. The watcher is very upset with both of them, now  
  
"Stop it, both of you! Xander, sit down, now!" He does. "Buffy, you sit down, too! I want to see the both of you in my office after the meeting."  
  
"Willow, will you please tell me, calmly, what happened last night?"  
  
"This ravishingly beautiful woman, vampire, stopped the music and turned all the heads at the Bronze last night. She came to get Xander. She undressed him, put him to bed and turned the lights out right there on the dance floor."  
  
Willow continues. "When she left Buffy went after her. Xander tried to stop her so Buffy hit him."  
  
Giles can't believe it. "Buffy hit Xander?" The slayer is embarrassed. She was going to apologize. Instead she added insult to injury.  
  
The watcher is very perplexed. "Something has to be going on. Xander, Rachel, whatever she may have done for you, is dangerous."  
  
Buffy interjects, "He's too stupid to see that."  
  
Xander looks at her then back to Giles. "Tell her to shut up, Giles."  
  
"Enough, Buffy."  
  
Xander looks over to the slayer. He sticks his tongue out at her.  
  
"Giles, did you see what he did to me?"  
  
Giles has had enough. "You two are like little children. Buffy what has gotten into you? Xander carrying on is one thing but I expect much more from you.  
  
Xander had been smirking. At this remark from the watcher he starts to frown.  
  
"Hey, I resent that." This time Buffy smirks at him.  
  
Giles is upset. "Damn it, Xander, this is serious. You could be in a world of trouble."  
  
Both Xander and Buffy drop the kid stuff. Xander replies.  
  
"Too late, Giles. My trouble quotient is as high as I can take right now."  
  
Buffy gets a cold chill down her spine. The pain in Xander's voice was very evident.  
  
Giles informs the group that Xander has to be monitored the same way Buffy is monitored until they can get to the bottom of this.  
  
After the meeting Giles ushers Xander and Buffy into his office. He starts to lecture them.  
  
"I am not going to interfere with your private lives but, I am going to intervene concerning the affairs of Hellmouth. Xander, if your concern for Buffy is genuine, which I know it is, then make that your primary concern."  
  
"Buffy, we have been given this boy as a gift to help us. Don't drive him away."  
  
"I'm going to leave the two of you alone in here. Make a truce or some such thing because you are patrolling together for the rest of the week."  
  
Giles leaves.  
  
Buffy knows she has to make the first move.  
  
"Xander."  
  
He doesn't look.  
  
She tries, again.  
  
"Xander."  
  
He reluctantly looks at her.  
  
"I'm sorry I hit you." He doesn't say anything.  
  
"Are you going to make me grovel?"  
  
"I get your apology. Someday maybe you'll tell me why you did it in the first place?"  
  
She just looks down. Xander can't stand to see her this sad.  
  
"Okay, Buff. Things have really been weird between us this last week, haven't they?"  
  
Feeling relieved that Xander backed off a bit.  
  
"Yes, very weird. Xander, you are a real trip, now."  
  
They look at each other without speaking. She apologized. That's enough for now. Xander breaks the tension. He slides up beside her, putting his arm around her.  
  
"Yea, but you're stuck with me, honey. Are we on for the graveyard, tonight?"  
  
"Xander, the daemons have driven you crazy. Okay, pick me up at 8."  
  
"Can I come over your house for supper, first."  
  
"Nobody is home, Xander."  
  
"Oh, that's even better. Can I watch you get dressed?"  
  
"Xander, don't get weird." He starts to stare at her with a funny look on his face. Buffy responds.  
  
"If you don't stop looking at me like that I'll tell Giles.  
  
"You think I have to listen to what he says?"  
  
She begins to shout. "We'll see big man. "Giles, Xander is trying to put a spell on me so I'll let him come home with me."  
  
Xander tries to put his hand over her mouth.  
  
"Don't touch me, Xander."  
  
"I'll get you tonight in the cemetery when your precious watcher is home drinking tea."  
  
"Oh yea. You forget I'm the slayer. I don't need anybody to beat you up."  
  
"We'll, listen. I could come home with you. You could start beating me there."  
  
They both laugh as they leave the office to go home.  
  
  
  
Part Six: Sometimes a Kiss Can Be Much More  
  
When Buffy is around Xander she is a different person. Despite the heaviness of her life he can always find a way to lighten her up. Hell, his life is getting to be as bad as hers. They need each other. Rebecca and Giles have a conversation.  
  
"Where did you find him, Rupert?"  
  
"I assume you are referring to Xander?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"He, Buffy and Willow have been here since the beginning."  
  
"You do know who he is, don't you?"  
  
"I thought he was just a high school student, Becky."  
  
"Why Rupert, you must be slipping."  
  
"I…well, I'm busy… with the slayer."  
  
Laughing, "I so love it when you fumble like that, Rupert."  
  
They get lost in a kiss. After they break.  
  
"Let's just say he is special. Very special."  
  
Rebecca laughs, again. "He and the slayer put on quite a show, don't they?"  
  
"I'm glad you find it amusing, Becky."  
  
"Oh Rupert Giles, you stuff shirt. He is coming of age and she is noticing him. They should make an excellent pair. I already know one thing. The daemons better watch out!  
  
"If they don't kill each other, first."  
  
"Believe it or not he is good for her. He loves her very much. She is ready to explode. He may be the only one who can save her."  
  
"I would much rather have a more conventional arrangement."  
  
Going to him playfully. "You don't like passion, Rupert? It looks like I'll have to work on that with you. Shall we retire to your to your upper berth?"  
  
They promptly put the lights out and head to Rebecca's car. Giles ancient heap of bolts was, thankfully, still at the garage. If they had to rely on his car their love might go forever unrequited.  
  
  
  
  
  
Xander waits for Buffy outside her house. When she comes out he doesn't look at her. He very noticeably turns his head to the opposite side. Buffy notices.  
  
"Xander, what are you doing now?"  
  
"Giles yelled at me. He told me not to look at you. You said it, too. So, I'm not looking at you. And, if you could see over here you would see that I am sticking my tongue out at you."  
  
Shaking her head at his craziness. "Xander, you are the strangest person I have ever met."  
  
After a few minutes of this Buffy has had enough. She jumps to the other side of him. He immediately turns his head away. She tries to fake him into looking at her but it doesn't work.  
  
She reaches her hand to his neck. "I'll get you, Xander if you don't look at me." She uses her other hand, too. A wrestling match commences.  
  
"Look at me, Xander."  
  
"Never!"  
  
They fool around. Xander grabs Buffy's hands to keep her from touching his neck. He accidentally backs her into a tree.  
  
"Ouch, Xander."  
  
"I'm sorry." He reaches to her face, gazing intently at her.  
  
"That's okay, Xander."  
  
Both are frozen in the moment. Xander can't help it. He can't take his eyes off her. Her hair reflects the light from the moon. Her golden locks sparkle as stars. She is blond light in the darkness.  
  
Buffy is looking into Xander's brown eyes, drinking in all they offer to her. She is in wonder at the concern and love and caring she sees in them. She knows it is all for her, too. It takes her breath away.  
  
The distance between them is charged space. It crackles and sizzles with angst and pathos and passion. In the pain and anger and darkness of their lives there are few moments of relief. Few moments which could be called magic and wonderful and electric.  
  
Neither of them can help it. They have to breach that distance between them! Xander reaches his lips to hers. Upon contact they both visit a place they have never been. The intensity is amazing.  
  
They push and cling to each other, seemingly with the intention of actually meshing into one. Finally, Buffy has to break.  
  
"Xander, I can't breathe."  
  
Xander steps back realizing he has the same problem.  
  
"Buffy, I…  
  
She raises her hand as if begging him to be quiet.  
  
After calming down they walk to the cemetery in silence. What happened was much too heavy for either one to handle right now.  
  
Once inside the cemetery it becomes evident they will have no time to either talk or think about it. They are immediately attacked by two very angry vampires.  
  
They no sooner deal with them when three more step up to the plate. The first thing Buffy notices is how good Xander has gotten in fighting. He is confident and proficient. She also notices a look in his eyes, which is actually scary.  
  
Xander has never shown his new prowess in front of Buffy before but this was definitely the time to unveil it.  
  
Five more appear. Xander has a plan.  
  
"Buffy, let's take turns attacking. First you take one while I hold the others off. Then, I'll take one while you hold them off."  
  
"Sounds like a plan!"  
  
They do it. It works very well but both are taking their lumps.  
  
The vamps keep coming. Xander double kicks one. Buffy stakes it. The slayer flips one with a vicious uppercut, Xander stakes it.  
  
"Buffy, I'm getting very tired."  
  
"Me too, Xander."  
  
Two more fly into them. Xander kicks one into oblivion. He stakes it just in time to see Buffy doing like wise with hers.  
  
They both get up. Xander gasps for breath. He is bleeding from three or four different places. Buffy is blood free but, bone weary.  
  
"Buffy..are…you okay?"  
  
"No, how about you?"  
  
"Never been worse!"  
  
They both sense it is not over. Something is going on. They haven't seen this many vamps in one night since the master was around.  
  
They stand looking at each other, thankful for the few minutes' rest. Buffy has a momentary pain deep within her.  
  
"Is this it? Is this going to be the end? All the slayers before me have died, young. Is this the night I don't come back from patrol?  
  
She looks at Xander who is still catching his breath. She goes to him, putting her arms gently on his. She looks into his eyes, smiling.  
  
"Xander, Angel is my soul mate and main squeeze but,.."  
  
Xander finishes the sentence for her. He was thinking the same thing.  
  
"One more kiss, since this might be our last night?"  
  
They gaze lovingly at one another for just a few seconds. This is enough to recharge that space.  
  
The kiss speaks to the fact that this could be the last one either ever enjoys.  
  
They both stagger out of it, ready to do battle.  
  
"Oh, Baby!"  
  
"Thank you Xander."  
  
"Back at you, slayer."  
  
Three more descend upon them with another five in sight at the other end of the cemetery. One thing hits the both of them. These vamps are not coming from the graves. They are coming into the cemetery from somewhere else, meaning someone sent them specifically just to get our heroes.  
  
Well, isn't that, special!  
  
Xander is ripped to the back with a two-by-four. He barely recovers to stake the assailant. Buffy is fighting three at the same time. She is viciously slammed in the knee with an iron pipe. She falls but rolls out of the way of a follow up swing. Xander is momentarily free. He stakes the bastard.  
  
Looking at Buffy, very worried, "Buffy, look at your knee!"  
  
Three more are right on them. Xander tries to take most of the heat but his problem is weariness. They can barely dispose of them.  
  
They both collapse exhausted and hurt.  
  
"Xander, I…I hear more coming,"  
  
"Buffy…we need… to get out of here. Look at your knee. You have to go!"  
  
"Not a chance! Not without you!"  
  
Xander speaks as he is getting up, "You're the main player, Buffy. You can find somebody like me anywhere."  
  
"Bullshit, Xander! There have been all kinds of slayers. There's only one of you."  
  
They leave the cemetery but are pursued by three more vamps. Buffy is pushed into a tree. She bangs her injured knee. Xander struggles to stake the last one from this wave.  
  
Buffy can hardly walk. Xander is frantic. He can see three more on their tail.  
  
"Buffy, get the hell out of here! Go get Giles and Rebecca!"  
  
"If you think I'm leaving you here you're crazy."  
  
"Damn it, Buffy, you're hurt. You're not going to be worth a damn, anyway. Go for help. I'll wait for you."  
  
Buffy is crying. This goes against every fiber of her slayer soul but she has to admit Xander might be right. If she can only rest for half an hour her slayer-healing power will start to work. She hobbles away in tears.  
  
Xander gets his second wind. He turns around. He starts to charge in the direction of the vampires. Just as he gets to them he takes a detour down a dark alley. He makes sure all three are following him.  
  
Xander is exhausted and hurt but, on familiar turf. He knows every alley, shortcut and hide-a-way in the area. He leads the vamps through a maze of different directions. They split up.  
  
He is able to ambush one of them. After staking it a sudden rush comes over him.  
  
The boy's fear subsides. He calms down.  
  
This is his turf. There are only two left. He is in complete control of himself.  
  
The vamps are at the disadvantage now.  
  
Xander climbs atop a small shed which, overlooks the alley. He conserves his energy, waiting for the undead creatures to come into his sights.  
  
He doesn't have to wait long. They walk right into the trap.  
  
The boy lets out with a blood-curdling scream as he jumps down upon them. He stakes one with a fast swinging motion.  
  
The other vamp wants no part of our hero. It takes off in fear.  
  
Xander returns to the shed roof in case there are others.  
  
  
  
  
  
In the meantime Buffy hobbles to a phone. She calls Giles. She then heads to a nearby fountain, soaking her leg in the cool water. The slayer can feel her healing power doing its thing.  
  
Within fifteen minutes she is mobile, again.  
  
Time to get back to Xander. Her heart is heavy. Xander is not the slayer. He shouldn't have to face the fire like this.  
  
Buffy has no idea what Xander is, anymore. When they are together, anymore, things are heavy and confusing and…what? The pain she feels now is almost unbearable. He cannot be dead!  
  
The slayer spots a figure running from an alley. It is a vampire. Something must have spooked it pretty bad.  
  
Buffy slowly walks down the alley.  
  
Xander sits perfectly still. He has himself where he wants to be. He hears someone coming down the alley. His scream pierces the silence as he pounces on the figure below.  
  
It is Buffy. Before he can recognize her he has the slayer pinned to the wire fence of the alley.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"Oh, Xander."  
  
They stare at each other for a few seconds, catching their breath.  
  
"Holy shit, Xander! I…I Thought I was dead. What the hell are you doing?"  
  
"I got tired running, Buff. I grew up around here. I know the turf. I turned the tide on the bastards. I hunted them."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I just waited for them to come by here. Then I jumped down on them."  
  
Buffy has to laugh. "Xander, you're a maniac but, I am so glad to see you."  
  
They embrace warmly.  
  
"I thought I lost you, Xander." She begins to cry.  
  
"Buff, I'm okay. You're the hero all the time, honey. You Can take a break once in awhile."  
  
They walk out of the alley.  
  
"Buff, something happened to me tonight. At one point the fear and terror left. I got real calm. I knew exactly what I had to do."  
  
"Xander, you're scaring me."  
  
"Why, Buff?"  
  
"You're suppose to be my friend, Xander Harris, comedian deluxe. Master of the sarcastic…"  
  
Xander interrupts her. "What do you do about a night like tonight, Buffy. Maybe the old Xander would be dead. Maybe, you too."  
  
Buffy changes the subject. "Xander, before I went into the alley there was a vampire running away in fear. Was he running from you?"  
  
"Yea, I surprised him and his partner."  
  
"Now you're really scaring me. I never saw a vampire running from a human like that."  
  
"At least you don't have to feel bad. I'm still in one piece. You were hurt more than me at the time."  
  
"Speaking about being hurt. You know you are bleeding from four or five different places?"  
  
Buffy takes Xander's hand, leading him to the nearby fountain. She takes her bandana off, soaking it in the water. She begins to clean his wounds. Xander smiles at her. As she gazes into his eyes a funny feeling comes over her. It makes her very uncomfortable.  
  
Xander has added some qualities she finds very appealing. When added to what he already has…  
  
She can't finish the equation in her mind…or her heart.  
  
The boy is driving her crazy!  
  
!--META end--  
  
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Buffy and the Slayerettes are Property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. No Copyright Infringement is Intended. 


	3. Chapter 7-8

* * *

Part Seven: The Slayer Princess Misses The Boat 

* * *

**Buffy has to get her life into perspective. She is still very much in love with Angel. Angel is her soul mate, her honey. She has not given up all hope for his return. Their love is the one certainty in her life.  
  
Buffy looks at herself in the mirror. Her thoughts drift to Xander   
  
"This thing with Xander has got to stop, whatever it is. It is out of control. Xander is out of control. What is he now?   
  
She gets a chill thinking about those kisses.  
  
"I definitely have to talk to him. We have to stop."  
  


* * *

  
  
Xander pulls himself from his bed. He inspects his wounds. All are healing. More importantly, there was very little remaining pain.  
  
He, of course, begins to think of Buffy. All the intensity of last night comes back.  
  
"I know exactly what she is thinking now. She is thinking how she still loves dead boy. Next time I see her she will be all business. She will calmly tell me that last night was a fluke.   
  
He shakes his head to clear those thoughts from his mind.  
  


* * *

  
  
Angelus is beside himself. Spike and Drusilla are trying to enjoy a peaceful morning. With the slayer so busy at the cemetery last night, the pickings were easy elsewhere in Sunnydale. They are both in a very cheery mood.  
  
"Angelus, I thought you didn't have the bloody hots for her when you were your evil-loving self?"  
  
Dru ads, "Come on, daddy. Wasn't it fun enough to watch her get all bloody in the knee?"  
  
She leaves Spike to go over to her dolls. She begins to fondle Miss Edith.  
  
"Her blood smelled so sweet, Angelus. Can you please kill her for me? Then the little boy will be nothing."  
  
Getting very nervous, "Miss Edith doesn't like him, daddy. She feels pain. He is bad.  
  
Spike goes to his mate. He looks back to Angelus.  
  
"Now you've gotten Dru all upset, again"  
  
"Why don't you just kill the bitch? All this bloody playing around isn't like you, bloke!"  
  
Angelus goes over to Spike. He condescendingly puts his arm around him.  
  
"Spike, my good man, the reason that you are a good vampire while, I am a great vampire, is because you lack vision. You have to be creative with the humans."  
  
"I was taught never to play with my food."  
  
Continuing in his condescending manner. "Spike, you are so damn..Ordinary."  
  
"Dru knows the sweet, sweet rewards of terror and mental torture."  
  
Angelus goes to her. "The absolute pleasure of watching one of them crumble right before your eyes. It does something to their blood, actually. Gives it a certain kick."  
  
"Yea, in the mean time the slayer and her boy toy kill half the damn daemon population of Sunnydale. Tell me Angelus, does your big plan include killing them at some point?"  
  
Spike leaves, disgusted.  
  
Angelus, more to himself than to Dru, "So, the pathetic little boy thinks he can stand up to the terror. He hasn't even begun to see what is coming his way!"  
  
Dru approaches Angelus. "Share it with me, daddy."  
  
Looking at her approvingly, "Dru, I knew you would understand. The slayer is weakening. She still has her pathetic love for her "Angel" but the boy wonder is getting to her. He has to suffer for that. We can drive them both crazy before we feast on their boiling blood."  
  
"Like you did with me, daddy! Just like you did with me! You know how to make Miss Edith so happy."  
  
Angelus puts his hands, seductively, on Dru's back, bringing her closer to him. He kisses her roughly. The Daemon then takes her by the hand, leading her in the opposite direction Spike took when he left.  
  


* * *

  
  
Willow meets Buffy for school. They walk in silence for a block or so. Willow can tell that Buffy has some more stuff for the vault.  
  
"Okay, Buffy, are you going to give it up freely or do I have to use my magic on you?"  
  
After a few silent seconds, "He kissed me this time, I think."  
  
Willow is confused. "You don't know?"  
  
Realizing this sounds a little funny. "Well, he was doing his crazy thing, again. He   
backed me into a tree. Everything got sort of fuzzy after that."  
  
"Buffy, what are you and Xander doing?"  
  
"I have to talk to him tonight after the meeting."  
  
"Do you still love Angel, Buffy?"  
  
"Yes I do, Willow. With all my heart and soul! I have to stop this with Xander. It's him. He's this…I don't know what he is. I still love Angel. I can't patrol with Xander anymore."  
  


* * *

  
  
Rachel sits alone in her motel room. It's always tough to find one which stays dark enough during the day. She is quite lonely. She fell in love with Angel a long time ago. He was the only one of their kind she could find who didn't stalk and feed on humans. He needed her, too. Her kindness and gentle nature were not lost on him.  
She didn't have to pay dues with him.  
  
He left her, though. His guilt and self-pity drove him away from her.  
  
She had no idea where he went, until recently. She went to him once when she first found out he was here. He told her of his love for the slayer. She left in anger and sorrow. But, soon found she had nowhere else to go.   
  
But, now he was Angelus.   
  
Rachel still loves him but it is killing her to see him terrorize the slayer and her friends. When she learned of his campaign against Xander she was determined to help the boy as much as she could.  
  
A curious thing happened. She finds herself attracted to him. She can't help it even though she knows it will cause trouble for everyone involved. Their two encounters thus far have proven to be very comforting and loving.  
  
But, now she is in danger, herself. If Angelus ever finds out she is helping Xander he will have no mercy on her.  
  
There are very stiff penalties for vampires that dare to help humans. Especially, one of Xander's status. Treason is not tolerated in vampiric circles.  
  
Hell, even if they don't find out she is helping Xander, she will be expected to join the "Nest" of the super vampires.  
  
To the humans she is a beast of the night. To her own kind she is a joke. Who ever heard of a non-violent vampire?  
  
Her only hope is that Angelus will become Angel, again. But then, as Angel, he and the slayer are soul mates.  
  
Rachel has very little to keep her going. More and more she has been thinking of a certain Xander Harris.  
  


* * *

  
  
Xander joins the gang for the meeting. When he looks at Buffy he can tell his earlier observation was going to prove correct. She has a very serious and, business like look on her face.  
  
This gets him angry. He sits across from her. He leans his arms on the center of the table, bringing his face close to hers.  
  
"Hello, Buffy."  
  
She looks at him but doesn't say anything. He is not surprised.  
  
"How did I know you weren't going to answer me?"  
  
"Xander, we have to talk after this."  
  
"My God, I must be psychic."  
  
"You're in a great mood!"  
  
Xander doesn't answer. He is determined not to allow Buffy to take over this meeting with her slayer bratiness which, he knows is coming.  
  
  
Giles comes in. He begins the meeting.  
  
"I understand last night was very eventful?"  
  
Xander begins to answer. "Giles, there were more vampires after us last night than I have ever seen before."  
  
"Is this true, Buffy?"  
  
Xander speaks before Buffy can reply.  
  
"I resent that, Giles. You never think anything is official unless she says it. What makes you think she is so reliable?"   
  
I'll tell you her secret. You know she drinks, Giles?"   
  
Everyone except Buffy and Giles are laughing. The slayer just shakes her head.  
  
Xander continues. "See, she doesn't deny it. Even her mother doesn't know. She hides it in her mouthwash bottle.   
  
So, there! How can you believe anything she says?  
  
Buffy speaks up. "Giles, could you tell him to shut up? This is a serious meeting."  
  
"Yes, Xander, can we get back to last night?"  
  
Buffy speaks up. "Giles, last night was very dangerous. We almost lost Xander. I can't afford to have anybody with me on patrol, anymore."  
  
Xander is incredulous. "What did you say?"  
  
"It's not just you, Xander. I'm the slayer. From now on I work alone. It's too hard to try and protect everyone. Civilians will do research, only."  
  
Xander is still seething. In a sarcastic tone, "You have to understand, Giles, The slayer princess doesn't want to share. She…"  
  
Buffy's eyes bulge. She gets up, approaching Xander menacingly. "What did you call me?"  
  
Xander, not backing down. "You know, when you use to get like this before I thought it was because you had such a hard life. Now I think it's a more basic problem. You're a brat!"  
  
Buffy gets so mad she reaches out, grabbing him by his shirt.  
  
"How about if this brat kicks your ass!"  
  
"Well, at least you admit it. You know they say that's half the battle."  
  
Buffy is beside her self. This boy in front of her has her half crazy. She has to retaliate, somehow.  
  
"Well, Lavelle, at least I know what I am."  
  
Now it is Xanders turn to be upset. He loathes his middle name.  
  
"Who told you my middle name?" He looks menacingly at Willow.  
  
He goes toe to toe with Buffy, The name is Xander, say it!"  
  
Buffy, knowing she has the advantage back.  
  
"Poor Lavelle, can't even stand his own name."  
  
Turning his attention back to Willow. "It had to be you who told her. Nobody else knows."  
  
Willow and everyone else in the room are now in stitches, even Giles. He has to agree with Rebecca. They certainly put on a good show.  
  
After a few minutes Giles gets everyone back to business. For the moment Buffy has relaxed her demand that no one else be involved with the actual slaying.  
  
She finds herself much more relaxed then she was earlier. She can't help but look at Xander. He gets her madder than anyone has ever gotten her. But, he also seems to know what she needs. And, he always seems to give it to her.  
  
But, he is still Xander. Xander and Willow are her friends. Angel is her heartthrob.  
  
When the meeting is over Buffy goes to Xander.   
  
"Xander, we need to talk."  
  
"Boy, do I ever understand that tone of voice!"  
  
"What does that mean, Xander?"  
  
"Nothing, lets go into Giles office. They do. Buffy speaks first  
  
"Xander, last night..We have to stop."  
  
"Yea I know, Buffy."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"I know the drill. You still love Angel. He's the man (sic) in your dreams. He's the cream in your coffee. He's the gravy on your mash potatoes."  
  
"Xander, I'm serious."  
  
"You're not serious, you're pathetic but, I guess that's a different discussion."  
  
"Xander, don't be like this."  
  
He doesn't answer.  
  
As he looks into the face of this woman beside him a quiet recognition settles in.  
  
She is dumping me for dead boy all over, again. We aren't even together but she's still dumping me.   
  
Dead boy isn't even around, anymore but she's still dumping me for him.   
  
Buffy Anne Summers.  
  
The girl with whom he fell in love. The girl who starts his heart beating in the morning and puts him to sleep at night.   
  
The vampire slayer. The blond goddess on loan from heaven. They have shared moments as electric and dynamic as a thunderstorm. They have had glimpses of another dimension while in each other's arms yet, she stands here, in front of him, spouting her broken record, Angel, Angel, Angel.  
  
"Okay, Buffy I get it!"  
  
"No, you don't, Xander. All you have ever given me on this was grief.  
  
Xander goes up to her. He grabs her by the shoulders.  
  
"Will you please shut up, Buffy."  
  
"No, I won't! I love Angel, Xander. Deal!"  
  
Xander has to back down. The next step will be a fistfight and he knows it.  
  
"Fine, slayer, you love dead boy."   
  
"Next subject! Despite your little slayer tantrum in there, we both know you almost died last night, too. It is stupid for you to patrol alone and you know it."  
  
"You think you're big stuff now, don't you Xander?"  
  
"I've had enough of your bratiness today, I'm leaving. I'll be at your house at eight."  
  
He walks out of the office and the library.  
  
Buffy's heart is very heavy. But, she had to say those things to Xander. Her love for Angel is safe. It is her security. She can't be out there with Xander. It's too scary. He's too scary.  
  


* * *

  
  
Xander is lost now. His love for Buffy brings him nothing but grief.  
  
But, she can't deny the fire between us.   
  
Do the lights go out for two blocks when she and fang boy kiss?   
  
Last night when we kissed she didn't even know her name.   
  
Angel is her soul mate, Bullshit!  
  
He has to calm himself. Bring himself to the right place. The right place where Buffy is the chosen one and he is her White Knight. Loving Buffy Summers means doing what needs to be done to make her life bearable. He has to bring comfort to her. That is his job. That's what he agreed to do when she didn't die in the master's lair.  
  
This is his focus. This is why he lives.  
  


* * *

Part Eigth: Who Said It Couldn't Get Worse? 

* * *

  
  
Xander meets Buffy for patrol. She is in a very bad mood. He knows it is because of the way he left the meeting. He walks in front of her, stopping.  
  
He addresses her very lovingly and gently. "Buffy, I know we had a bad day today. Last night was awful. We didn't know if we were going to make it. I know it killed you to leave me."  
  
Xander continuing, "I respect what you said, Buffy. About Angel, I mean. I'm sorry for how I've acted in the past."  
  
Buffy is shocked.   
  
Every time I think I have him figured out he goes and blows my mind. Now he is being sensitive. Part of me is listening to what he is saying. Another part of me wants to punch him in the mouth.   
  
What is he trying to do to me?   
  
Xander continues. "The most important thing for me right now is that we be friends. Can we call a truce?"  
  
Buffy thinks for a minute. Then she sighs. "Xander, we are friends."  
  
"Okay, does that mean a truce is in effect?"  
  
The slayer nods.  
  
"Well, that's just about the neatest thing I've ever heard. Now we can be bosom buddies…I mean.. Well, what exactly do I mean? No other word seems to fit in there. I guess we can't be buddies, after all."  
  
"Xander, are you going to drive me crazy tonight?"  
  
Going over to her, putting his arm around her. "Well, that depends. What do you do when you get crazy? Are you like, monster slayer from hell or, are you like, somebody cure my major-libido-overload, girl?"  
  
"Xander, where do you come up with the things that come out of your mouth?"  
  
"They come from a very deep study of the human race."  
  
"Let me guess. Your textbooks for this study come from the adult section of the Sunnydale book store?"  
  
"My God, Buffy. Do you think I would be caught dead in such a place? What do you take me for?"  
  
"I see, you have subscriptions for them, right?"  
  
"You make me feel so cheap!"  
  
The slayer stops. Xander did it again! I felt like crap when I came out tonight. Now I feel like everything is okay.   
  
Xander looks at her. She is staring at him. "What?"  
  
"Xander, come here please?"  
  
He walks over to her. She takes him in an embrace, putting her head down on his shoulder. Xander can hear her sniffing back tears.  
  
The tender moment is very abruptly interrupted. It's a presence they both know well.  
  
"Would you look at that, Drusilla, two losers comforting each other."  
  
The slayer glares at him. "What do you want, Angel?"  
  
"Sorry, honey, he ain't here no more. But, you can still see him in me. That is so moving. I love it, sort of gives me the edge I'd say."  
  
Xander has had enough of this shit! He walks right up to the vampire.  
  
"Listen, you bloodsucking asshole! Leave her the hell alone!"  
  
"Down boy!" He looks past him to Buffy, who has her mouth open.  
  
"What have you been feeding him, slayer?"  
  
"If you came to fight, let's go!  
  
Buffy grabs his arm as he starts to swing at the daemon.  
  
"Xander, don't, he'll hurt you!"  
  
Angelus is as shocked as Buffy that he offered him out like that. He starts to walk away. He stops, trying to get the advantage back.  
  
"You should listen to her, boy."  
  
Xander screams, trying to get around Buffy. "I'm here, asshole, I'm here!"  
  
Angelus disappears into the darkness from which he came.  
  
Xander is so pissed off he can't see straight. Buffy tries to go to him. She can not allow him to think he could ever tangle with Angelus. Angelus is the big time!  
  
"Xander, what the hell do you think you are doing?"  
  
Xander looks at her but doesn't say anything. She stopped him from attacking that monster. He does not want to go off on her. He puts his head down, trying to catch his breath and calm his anger. She doesn't stop, however.  
  
"I cannot allow you to do that, Xander! That was Angelus as in, Angelus the super vampire, remember? He would rip you apart and you know it. You have to tell me you won't do that, again."  
  
All Xander can think about is that Angelus is terrorizing him and the woman he loves but Buffy still somehow loves him. She has had many opportunities to kill the undead bastard but can't. Everybody who dies from now on is on her. This tears him apart.  
  
This flower, this wonderful, beautiful woman he loves cannot put the stake to this monster. Angel or no Angel, the son of a bitch has to die! He has done enough!  
  
Xander stands up, looking into Buffy's eyes. They stare at each other. Buffy doesn't like what she sees.  
  
"What, Xander? Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
Xander does not want to share his feelings right now. He turns around and starts to walk away. Buffy runs in front of him. She puts her arms on his shoulders. She can feel him looking right into her soul.  
  
She begins to well up. "Xander, please, don't look at me like that."  
  
He reaches out to her face. When he touches her she moves closer to him. He holds her for a minute. Buffy raises her head to look into his eyes. When she does she sees his concern and love for her but the other look is gone. She can't help it. She reaches for his lips. They begin a kiss. The now familiar intensity begins to mount.  
  
But, then it stops abruptly. They break off contact.  
  
They both felt something. Something not good.   
  
"Xander, you felt that?"  
  
"Buffy, what the hell was that?"  
  
"We have to get out of here!"  
  
They leave the cemetery, frantic.  
  
Buffy's house is first. They burst in.  
  
Joyce is okay. They even call Buffy's father. He is fine, also.  
  
They look at each other. They run outside. Xander's house is next.  
  
As they get closer the feeling of dread gets stronger. Approaching the porch they see the door open.   
  
They slowly approach the house. It is dark inside except for a small lamp light in the kitchen. They walk toward it. Xander slowly opens the kitchen door. He freezes. For a moment every thing seems to stop.  
  
His eyes drift to a chair at the table. Sitting on the chair is somebody who looks to be Xander's father. He is slumped over onto the table. Sticking out of his back is a huge butcher's knife.  
  
Then he sees a shadow of something by the refrigerator. Coming in a few more steps he sees what it is. A rope is tied to a big hook on the ceiling. On the other end is a noose tied around his mother's neck. She is hanging there, her neck obviously broken, staring in his direction.  
  
Buffy has to run outside to throw up.   
  
Xander falls on his knees, putting his head down. He is too stunned to do anything.  
  
He looks back up after a few seconds to make sure this isn't an allusion. When he does his mother raises her head. She puts both hands on the rope, slipping the noose from her neck. Then, she jumps down to the ground. She promptly walks up to Xander and uppercuts him to the chin. He rolls on the ground but jumps up. He backs away from his mother as she menacingly approaches him.  
  
"What's the matter, Alexander, something have you a little spooked?"  
  
He continues to back up. His mother stops. She looks at the form of his father slumped over the chair. "Herbert, Alexander won't come to momma."  
  
His father gets up off the chair, walking toward his wife. "Oh, dear, would you take this cumbersome knife out of my back?"  
  
Xander is still frozen. Buffy hears the voices. She rushes back in.   
  
"Oh look, Alex, it's that slayer girl. The one who keeps hurting Xander."  
  
The monster that was once Xander's step father gets closer to the slayer. He morphs into his vamp face. Buffy jumps back thinking he is going to attack.  
  
"Well, thank you slayer. He deserves all the pain you can give him."  
  
With this they both start laughing hysterically, leaving by the kitchen door.  
  
Xander's mother stops for one last comment.  
  
"We will see you around, Xander."  
  
Buffy and Xander stare at the door for a minute, not quite believing what just happened.  
  
The slayer reacts first. She runs to Xander, throwing her arms around him. He doesn't respond.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Xander."  
  
Buffy is crying to break her heart but Xander is still frozen in shock. After a few minutes he looks down at Buffy. He speaks to her very quietly.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
She looks up at him.  
  
"Go home, Buffy."  
  
"Xander, no! That was your mother and father. I'm your friend. I'm more than your friend. Don't shut me out of this."  
  
"I can't, Buff. I…I have to figure this out. I…I have to think."  
  
Buffy continues to try to reach him. She looks up at him, fondling his face.  
  
"I can't stay here, Buffy."  
  
"Okay, Xander, we'll go someplace."  
  
He looks at Buffy. He does not want to see anybody right now, least of all her.  
  
"Buffy, please, I need to be alone."  
  
Hurt that he doesn't want her to comfort him. "Xander, what are you saying?"  
  
Even in his grief he doesn't want to hurt the slayer. He takes her hands in his. "Buffy, I have to go somewhere, alone, to piece this together. I know we're friends. Please respect what I am saying. Go home. I'll get in touch with you in a few days."  
  
"You're leaving, Xander?"  
  
Xander starts crying. He has got to get away from Buffy. Right now all he can think about is that Angelus did this. She could have killed him but, didn't. But, he does not want to have it out with her. He does not want to vent his anger on her. It might tear her apart. He pleads with her through his tears.  
  
"Please, Buffy, I 'm begging you. Just let me alone."  
  
Buffy may never have been as sad in her life as she is now. This boy/man in front of her is unbelievable. He stands behind her, beside her anywhere she wants him to stand. He has helped her, saved her, even told her off when she needed it.  
  
But, in his greatest hour of need he has to go it alone. It's not that she doesn't understand, she does. In her most desperate and saddest moments she felt completely alone, also. She had people, most of all, Willow. But, for some reason she still felt alone. During the darkest midnight she had only herself to rely on. This self-reliance comes from having to deal with evil all the time.  
  
This is how you survive Hellmouth but there is a certain tragic quality to it. It separates you from everyone else. She knows this is what Xander is feeling, now. It breaks her heart to see him like this. She wishes she could help.  
  
The slayer reluctantly leaves. She goes to Willow's house. They go up to her room.  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong?"  
  
"Willow, we were in the cemetery. Xander and I were… We both felt this awful pain. I don't know how but we both knew it was either my family or…"  
  
She breaks down.  
  
"Buffy, is your Mom okay?"  
  
Getting herself under control. "Yes but Xander's…Willow, his dad was slumped over the table with…with a knife in his back.  
  
Willow puts her hands to her mouth. She begins to rock back and forth.  
  
"His mother… his mother was hanged."  
  
She can't finish. She and Willow hug.  
  
Willow speaks. "Where is Xander, Buffy? Where is Xander?"  
  
"Will, he wants to be alone on this. He's really being hard on this."  
  
"Oh my God, Buffy!"  
  
"I didn't tell you all of it. After I saw them I had to go to the porch. I heard voices inside. I went back in. Will, they're both…they're both vampires."  
  
They cry on each other's shoulders for a long time. Finally, Buffy breaks.  
  
"Willow, we have to tell the others."  
**

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Go on to Part Nine 

* * *

  
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	4. Chapter 9-10

* * *

Part Nine: Please, Take Away the Pain 

* * *

Xander wanders down town. He sits on a bench. He is amazingly calm. His mother and father were not only killed but, also, turned into vampires. This means he is alone. Emotionally he has been alone for quite some time. He knows he was adopted. His stepparents took care of his physical needs but neglected him in other ways. 

The murder of his parents was done to terrorize he and the slayer. He is not going to let this happen. Buffy was as traumatized as he was. As soon as he can see his way through the anger and pain he will make sure Buffy is okay. 

He's pretty sure this was the work of Angelus but he doesn't want to be wrong. He will do some investigating over the next couple of days. 

He needs a plan. He must stay focused. He can't allow himself to think about it too much. His main pain right now is Buffy. If it were Angelus who did this Buffy is to blame. She should have staked the bastard. She had the chance. This single fact scares him the most. Buffy Anne Summers is the source of his biggest joy. She is nestled deep within him, in a place he visits for comfort and happiness. Right now this place is clouded with intense pain. 

If he can't find some way of working through his anger it will devastate him. 

He can't go to her now. 

He has to get her out of his mind. 

He decides to see Giles. When he knocks on the door the watcher is already awake. Buffy phoned him with the news. 

"Xander, I have no idea of what to say to you. I am very sorry." 

"I know, Giles I just can't think about it right now. I have to find out who did it although; I have a real good idea right now. I need to ask you a few questions, Giles, hard questions." 

"You know how I feel about Buffy." 

"I've heard the girls talk." 

Xander looks down. "Giles, do you ever hate her?" 

"Oh, Xander." 

"Please, Giles I have nobody else to talk to about this?" 

Giles closes his eyes knowing he is going to bring up the business of Jenny. 

"Okay, Xander." 

"Giles, I know she is the slayer and we need her. I would never bring this up to her. I know she is our most important player. I love her, Giles, but she could have killed him! I have this anger and pain when I think about her. This scares me as much as facing life without my mother and father." 

Giles knows what the boy is feeling. He felt the same thing. 

"Xander, some days are worse than others. She is good, very good, but she has made some mistakes." 

"Giles, I have loved Buffy for a long time. I was never attacked for it." 

"Xander, that night at the park. It was Angelus you saw, right?" 

"Yea, he was shaking his fist at me. I think it's because he senses Buffy is starting to have feelings for me." 

"I think that is a very logical conclusion, Xander. When you come back you, Rebecca and I need to have a meeting. If she is right about you it will require you undergo intensive training. Your parents may not be the last people you have to bury. 

He thinks about this for a moment then turns to leave. Right before he goes through the doors of the library he stops. 

"Thanks, G-man." 

Half-joking, "That's Giles, Xander." 

The boy lets out with a small laugh then disappears out the door. 

Giles worries about his charges but knows Xander is mostly on his own. There are no watchers for them. Perhaps Rebecca will take him under her wing. 

The watcher is very sad. He feels for Xander. He feels for Buffy. He feels for himself. 

Jenny was everything to him. Love, it came slowly. Her charm and playfulness and beauty and… 

Tears start to fall down his cheeks. Jenny's memory is still an open wound for him. 

Rebecca is good. Very good but, Jenny was different. 

If it weren't for Buffy he would go after Angelus again. He is tempted to join Xander since it seems he and the vampire are on a collision course. They appear destined to clash. With Xander's increased strength and resolve they could probably do it. They could nail that bloodsucker. Push that sarcastic, wise ass mouth right through his neck. 

It was very tempting. The only thing stopping him was his duty as watcher. Sometimes Buffy doesn't understand the sacrifices other people have to make to keep her world as sane as possible. 

Xander goes back downtown. He sits on a bench. He hopes he is attacked. He is in the mood to pulverize something. 

He is not there long before he feels a presence. Certainly not human, but not dangerous, either. He has come to recognize that presence. It immediately lifts his spirit. 

It's Rachel. 

She comes up to him very tentatively. She speaks very softly. 

"I guess I'm not exactly your favorite type of species at the moment?" 

"What, you mean kind, gentle and comforting?" 

"You know what I mean, Xander." 

"Actually, Rachel, I was kind of hoping you would show up." 

"You were?" 

"Yes, believe it or not I find great comfort in your presence." 

She sits down. "I am so sorry, Xander." 

"I've got to find out who did it, Rachel." 

Rachel sees that he has been crying. She can see the weariness in his face and eyes. 

"You look very tired, Xander." 

"Yea, I do need some rest." 

She grabs his hand, leading him down the street. After a block or so she stops. 

"Xander, I don't want to take advantage of you. I know you are vulnerable right now." 

"I was going to say the same thing to you, Rachel. You know that my heart belongs to…" 

She interrupts him. "I know, Xander. Right now I am very lonely. I've also grown very fond of you." 

"Then we don't have any problems, Rachel. I was really hoping you would come to me, tonight. I can't think of anyone else I would rather be with right now. 

Rachel laughs lightly. "You are very romantic for one so young." 

"I think your wonderful magnificence has something to do with that." 

Rachel's presence has really been good for Xander. He puts his arm in hers. After a block or so he stops. He gazes up at her with a weird look on his face. 

"What's the matter, Xander?" 

"Well, let's set the scene, here. The super experienced non-violent vampire queen, Rachel, walks the unsuspecting high school nerd, Xander, toward her ultra-sheik lair." 

Rachel is looking at Xander in wonder. She actually finds herself laughing. That is something she never does. Xander continues. 

"The high school nerd has no idea what she has in store for him. He looks up at her trying to figure it out." 

"Xander, you are crazy, aren't you?" 

"Don't try to change the subject, Queenie." 

"Xander, I'm going to do something to you." She reaches out to him trying to shut him up. She touches his stomach. He lets out a shriek! 

"Okay, now I know what to do to you." 

"Rachel, you behave yourself or I'll be forced to deal with you in an appropriate manner." 

Rachel has to stop. She is laughing so hard she is going to bust a gut. 

"Xander…Xander, you have to stop!" 

"Okay, we don't want anybody to think you're having a fit or something." 

"Rachel raises her hand, begging him to stop." 

They finally make it to her motel room.

* * *

After a very loving night Xander feels a little better. He knew Rachel would be good for him. 

For Rachel's part, she may never have had a better time. Xander is everything she thought he would be. She spent more time laughing with him than she has ever done before. It was so relaxing. 

He also has other skills. 

It was a very good night. 

"Rachel, thank you." 

"Xander, I can't even begin to tell you how much you mean to me. I know we can't be together right now but, you have already given me more pleasure than I have ever had." 

They embrace very warmly. 

"Now, my young daemon fighter, where are we going?" 

"Rachel, you realize if you come with me you will be aiding and abetting the enemy?" 

"I know." 

"Rachel, I couldn't take it if something happens to you." 

Going to him. "Xander, you are going to make me cry. That's another thing I haven't done for a long time." 

"I'm not exactly a safe person to be around right now, Rachel. I can't put you in danger." 

"Xander, I know what I am doing. I want to do this more than anything I've done in a long while. I don't want you to feel responsible if something does happen to me." 

"That's impossible now. You're in my heart. I…I feel responsible." 

"Xander, I think you better shut up. I don't want to go any further with you. I still love Angel" 

Going to her, giving her a very warm kiss. "I don't want to go any further with you, either. I still love Buffy." 

"Okay, wise guy, let's go see Willie." 

She still stares at him. He notices. "What?" 

"You have the ability to drive me crazy." 

"Every body says that about me." 

"I wonder why?" 

When they walk into Willie's nightclub it is dark. The back entrance is much more popular than the front doors. In fact, the front doors are more for show than anything else. 

They walk up to Willie. For a minute Xander thinks he has to identify himself. But, Willie dispels that notion right away. 

"Well, if it isn't the boy wonder and…I'm afraid I don't know your companion? You stopped running with the slayer? You decided to walk with a fashion model?" 

Xander doesn't identify Rachel. "I need to know who killed my mother and father?" 

Willie, getting very nervous. "I don't know because I don't want to know. Some information is too dangerous to know." 

Xander takes a roll of twenties from his pocket. Willie's eyes widen. 

"You are a dangerous person to know, boy wonder, but I will keep my eyes and ears open." 

Xander flips him the twenties. "You owe me one." 

They leave. Once outside Rachel speaks. "Why did you give him the money?" 

"For future dealings." 

"Okay, where to now?" 

"To see a guy by the name of Whistler." 

They walk the alleys for a mile or so. They come to a section where a huge railroad over-pass creates a very dark tunnel, about a mile long. In the middle of it is a ramp, which goes underground. Xander came here once with Buffy. The drill consists in sitting on the ledge of the ramp. If he wants to see you he will. If he doesn't want to see you, he won't. 

After about two hours they hear a strange whistling coming from the dark. 

It is none other than Whistler himself. He speaks to them in his familiar sarcastic manner. 

"I was hoping you would leave." 

"Well, thanks a lot." 

"Don't take it personnel, kid. I'm just too old to be dealing with people as dangerous as you." 

He looks at Rachel then back to Xander. "You like to up the ante every chance you get, don't you?" 

"This is Mary Mitchell, a girl I met in school." 

The daemon has to laugh. "At least you have a sense of humor. I'm going to send you to see two people. Make friends with them. You'll need each other." 

He gives them directions then begins to leave. He stops. The daemon has one more thing to say. "Don't even waste my time with the other thing. I'm suppose to be for the hard questions." 

They wait for nightfall. Xander then gets a car. They go to the country. They park where Whistler told them to park. Then they walk about a mile into the woods. There they see a huge log cabin surrounded by a brick wall. 

As they approach they hear a growling behind them. They ignore it for the moment, ringing the bell at the entrance. They hear a voice. 

"What do you want?" 

"I'm Xander. I am here to see Linda." 

"Gees, I'm very popular today. I'm afraid you'll have to get in line." 

They hear the growing, again. As they turn around to face it they are knocked down by two vampire type beasts. Xander recovers to stake the one on him. He gets the one on Rachel just in time to see an enormous, pig like beast bearing down on them. 

They both run for Linda's house. As they get there she opens the door. They dive in. They look out the window but don't see the beast. 

After catching his breath Xander turns to Linda. "Why is that thing after you?" 

Linda, looking very nervous. "I didn't know before but I bet it has something to do with you." 

"Oh, shit, great. Listen, you are Linda, the sorceress, right?" 

She nods. 

"Do you have some kind of spell or potion we can use on this damn thing?" 

"Aren't you the boy wonder? Aren't you suppose to be able to beat these things up?" 

"My rep is all hype, Linda. Don't you have anything?" 

"I do have some knock out stuff but, it takes twenty minutes to work after you use it." 

"Great! Let me have it." 

She gives it to him. 

A lit, wooden torch comes crashing through the window. It sets the couch on fire. 

Xander jumps into fight mode. "You guys put the fire out, I'll see if I can hit the guy with the potion." 

Linda is frantic. The monster crashes through the other window. Linda screams. Xander goes right at him, hitting him with the potion. 

When the monster stands up Xander's eyes bulge. 

"Holy shit!" 

The thing has to be 7' tall, 350-400 pounds. It has claw type hands and hairy legs and feet. It's face looks like green cheese. It has nasty looking eyes and fanged teeth. A real handsome guy! 

Xander has to fight a holding action until the potion starts to work. 

The beast wastes little time. It is apparent Linda is the mark. It goes straight for her. This gives Xander a chance to smack it in the back with a metal chair. It still goes for Linda who is now screaming at the top of her lungs. Xander finds a 20" pipe wrench. He proceeds to smash him in the head with it. 

Finally, it turns its attention to Xander. 

"I thought that would get your attention." 

The monster speaks. "I was suppose to get you next. You saved me the trouble of looking for you." 

Xander fakes confidence to buy time. "Tell me, what's your name? I want to know to tell my boss when I add your ass to my collection of ugly things?" 

"My name is, Beltar. Soon your name will be nothing." 

"I don't think so. I think I can crush your cheesy ass." 

"You're amusing. They told me you were funny. Are we finished talking, yet?" 

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe we could share life histories?" 

"I offered to eat your parents free of charge. Melchek was a friend. 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" 

"Enough of the talking!" Beltar charges Xander. The boy easily sidesteps him, belting him in the ear with the pipe wrench. 

Beltar rages in pain. He catches Xander with one of his clawed hands. It opens a wound to his chest. The beast also punches him in the mouth. Xander flies into a wooden chair, breaking it in the process. When the monster charges Xander sticks the chair in his face, one of the broken legs plunges into its stomach. 

Beltar pulls it out with a roar. Xander is right there with the pipe wrench. He slams it in the knee. When it bends over in pain Xander whacks him on the back of the head. It still has enough to slice his leg with a claw. Xander cringes as he falls on the floor. 

The potion is beginning to work. The monster has to shake its head to try to fight off the effects. Xander takes full advantage of the situation. He plunges the chair into it. He follows it up with a few hits with the wrench. The monster staggers to its feet. Xander pulls out a stake from his pocket. With all the strength he has left he jumps on Beltar, chest high. The monster falls, Xander on top. The stake plunges into its chest. 

For a moment they just lie there motionless. Then, with a roar, Beltar dissolves into dust. 

Xander rolls over, practically passing out from his wounds. Linda and Rachel tend to him. 

Linda is frantic. "He isn't dead. Is he?" 

"No, I don't think so, Linda. We have to stop the bleeding, though." 

"I have a first aide kit." She gets it. They clean Xander up as much as possible. They move him to a spare bed. 

"Your name is Rachel?" 

"Yes, how did you know?" 

"Everyone in their group is famous. Everything they do is always the latest gossip. You really shook everyone up when you showed up at the dance, didn't you?" 

A little embarrassed, "I didn't know it was going to be front page news. " 

Did you two sleep together, yet?" 

"Linda!" 

"I'm sorry. I hear the slayer thought you were going to do it right on the dance floor? They certainly didn't lie about your beauty, Rachel." 

Rachel does her best not to be offended by Linda's abruptness. Despite her manner, she is very likeable. They hit it off, well. Xander wakes. He joins the duo. As soon as Linda sees him she throws her arms around him. 

"My hero!" 

"Without your potion, Linda…" 

"Nonsense, you could have beaten him without it. You're the boy wonder!" 

"I'm flattered but I think I'd like to go back to just being Xander Harris." 

"You're humble, too. Will you marry me? Oh, I'm sorry, Rachel. Before you get annoyed at me, Xander, I'll stop." 

"Thank you, Linda." 

Handing him a glass, "Here, have some wine." 

"Thank you." He takes a sip. "Wow, Linda, this is really good!" 

"It's my specialty. You earned it, Xander." She gives some to Rachel. 

The threesome have a good time together. Linda introduces them to her friend, Stacy, the magician. 

"We finally get to meet some of you. The boy wonder in person." 

"You guys make us sound important." 

"You are important, Xander, all of you. Xander, we are really sorry about your parents. The only thing we can say is that you already know who did it." 

"I was afraid you were going to say that." 

Linda adds. "We are doubly sorry about that, Xander." 

"Could we possibly spend the night, Linda?" 

"Xander, you can move in with me if you want, both of you." 

Stacy looks at Linda with raised eyebrows. "Way to be subtle, Linda." 

"You should have seen that monster." 

"No thanks." 

The four of them spend a very pleasant night together. The next day Xander and Rachel bid them, farewell. They head back to the town. 

When they get to Rachel's apartment things get very somber. Rachel fixes some tea. They sit in silence. Neither of them knows what to say. Finally, Xander breaks the silence. 

"Rachel, I didn't think it would be this hard to say goodbye to you." 

She doesn't say anything. Then Xander thinks of something. It's Sunday. He doesn't have school until tomorrow, anyway. 

"Listen, Rachel, do you have a washing machine and dryer in the complex, here?" 

"Why, Xander?" 

"Well, I don't know. It's Sunday. I don't have school until tomorrow. I was thinking. If I could wash my clothes maybe I could stay with you? I could go to school from here." 

Rachel breaks out in a wide smile. 

"You know it is very dangerous for you to smile like that." 

"Oh, yea. Why?" 

Moving closer to her. Throwing his hands up in the air. "I can't be responsible for my actions if you are going to flaunt your stuff in front of me like that." 

He gets her in a very warm embrace. They kiss very passionately. They have shared some intense moments in the last two days. It doesn't take much to re-ignite the embers from two nights before. 

Over tea later, "Rachel, I thought vampires were suppose to be cold? Do you know how much heat you put out, woman?" 

"Xander, you have no idea what you do to me. Knowing you has given me something I have never had before in all my years of living." 

"I guess if I said the same thing about you it wouldn't quite have the same weight, would it?" 

"Besides everything else you are completely crazy! Have I have spent the last two days making love with a fruit cake?" 

"You want an apple?" 

Rachel starts laughing. Xander attacks her. They start wrestling all around the room. And, so it goes for the rest of the day. 

Before he leaves the next morning, Xander makes a promise to check on Rachel at least once a week.

* * *

Part Ten: The Three Musketeers Ride Again 

* * *

After battling the forces of death it actually feels rather silly to return to school. But, to school he goes. The whole weight of his parent's death comes back onto him as he walks through the door. 

Of course, so does the thought of Buffy. He has to stay away from her. Just until he can work past the other stuff. 

It's going to be very hard, however. He can't avoid everyone. He has to set boundaries. He immediately goes to the library. Rebecca is there. He goes up to her. 

"Rebecca, could I talk to you?" 

"By all means, Xander." 

"I feel a certain bond with you. I can't explain it. I was trying to ignore it, actually." 

Rebecca looks at him with a smile. "Yes, Xander I know you have a lot to deal with, already. I don't want to scare you with what I am about to say, Xander, but you are actually the reason I am here." 

"Oh no. That's not exactly want I wanted to hear, Rebecca. I was hoping you would slap me in the face for being so forward." 

Laughing, "Your sense of humor is amazing, Xander. Especially, after what happened to your parents." 

"I just can't think about it. Rebecca, I was wondering if you could start training me?" 

"Yes, if that is what you want, Xander?" 

"I would like that very much." 

And train he does. In fact he does little else. His work ethic is amazing. To the dismay of Willow he recruits Oz to be his workout partner. Rebecca and Giles are working on a formula, which would enable Oz to juice up at times other than his wolf days. Without the messy hair and teeth. They feel, with practice, he will be able to regulate it himself. 

The rest of the gang are very upset, Buffy especially. 

Willow and she talk. They are in the library watching Rebecca put Xander through his moves. The redhead speaks first. "Look at them together. It's like we don't exist with him." 

Cordelia joins them. She immediately voices her opinion. 

"Does it seem like they have some kind of bond or something?" 

The slayer continues this vein of thought. "I'm beginning to think he has a bond with every female in Sunnydale!" 

"That isn't us." The redhead makes her feelings known. "He's more comfortable with vampire, Rachel, and…and whatever Rebecca is than he is with us. 

Cordelia ads casually. "We haven't had a trip to the closet in so long I can't even remember what it feels like." 

Buffy and Willow stare at the brunet. She notices. "What? A girl can't make a mistake. I want him back." 

Buffy is disgusted. She is also, majorly, confused. She again looks at Xander and Rebecca. I train every day. Why can't he train with me? I'm his friend. 

The slayer is still heartbroken over the death of Xander's parents. He seems to have moved past it but that's impossible 

Being confused doesn't sit well with Buffy. She has never been able to handle it. She has to approach Xander. He has been avoiding her and she knows it. 

Later, she and Giles are working downstairs while Buffy and Rebecca work upstairs. Buffy has tried to talk to Xander but he is very reserved. This has the slayer extremely angry. 

At one point Rebecca takes a break. Xander is just standing around. The slayer is beating Giles around. Giles has to stop. 

"You certainly have no problem with your intensity, today. I need to stop for a few minutes." 

Buffy stares up at Xander. She can't help it. She picks up the pads Giles dropped and goes to Xander. She hands them to him. 

"Put these on. Giles needs a break. I don't want to stop." 

Giles hears this. "Buffy, I only need a minute." 

"It's okay, Giles, Xander will put them on. He's not afraid." 

Against his better judgement he puts the pads on. Buffy starts to really pound him, staring into his eyes the whole time. She hits him so hard it knocks one of the pads off. 

As Xander bends to pick it up he gets the distinct impression that the slayer is going to hit him while he is down. 

"You're weren't going to hit me, were you?" 

"Why would you think that. Do you have a guilty conscience over something?" 

Buffy swings weakly at him as he bends down. He blocks it easily. She swings a little harder. He blocks that, too. He smirks at her. 

"Don't feel so superior, Xander, I wasn't even trying." 

"Sure you weren't." 

"You think you're hot shit, don't you." 

"I think I could block your stuff." 

"I don't believe it. You really think you could take me, don't you?" 

"I didn't say anything about taking you. All I said was you couldn't hit me." 

Buffy swings. Xander blocks. She fakes a punch, following with a combination. Xander picks them both off. Buffy is really pissed. She rushes him. She kicks his feet out from under him. He hits with a thud but recovers to not only block her follow up but also to slap her in the face. 

"You bastard!" 

She lands with a straight to his chest. It knocks him into the lockers. As she approaches him he jumps on top of her. They fall onto a table. It breaks from the impact. 

By now Giles has seen enough. Rebecca is back. The two of them ascend the stairs. 

Xander is really pissed off, now. He gets up first. He moves his fist back to swing at Buffy. Giles gets there in time to stop him. Rebecca and Willow get in front of Buffy. Giles is very upset. 

"What the hell are the two of you doing?" 

"The slayer princess got mad, Giles. She threw some of her mighty punches but no buildings fell. She doesn't like getting her mighty blows blocked." 

"Don't call me that!" 

"Buffy, go into my office!" She does. 

"Xander, you could have hurt her." 

"What? She's the slayer, remember. 

"I will not allow the two of you to do violence to each other. You have issues to discuss. Find a way to do it without killing each other!" 

He goes into his office. Buffy is pacing up and down, still fuming. 

"Buffy, may I ask you what just happened?" 

"He thinks he's a big man. Somebody has to save him, Giles." 

"Buffy, do you think you can refrain from hitting him?" 

Calming a little. "I'll try, Giles." 

"Thank God for small favors." 

The next day at the meeting the fireworks continue. Buffy notices Xander sits down very carefully on his leg. 

"What's the matter, killer, your leg a little sore, today?" 

"Well, I couldn't block them all. Giles said it would be bad for your ego. We have to protect the precious slayer princess." 

Getting up. Going toe to toe with him. "You know what I think, Lavelle…." 

He doesn't allow her to finish. The way she says his middle name drives him crazy. 

"My name is Xander." Giles sees them toe to toe again. He puts himself in between them. Xander reaches over him, putting his finger in Buffy's face. 

"It's Xander Harris!" 

Buffy is so mad at him she bites his finger, hard. 

"I'll be damned, she bit me!" He tries to get her but she runs away. The rest of the gang are rolling on the floor, laughing. 

"She drew blood! What if she has rabies? Giles, do slayer princesses have rabies?" 

Giles gives up. There is no way they are going to have a serious meeting after this. 

* * *

Unlike most people, when Buffy and Xander have a fight they still have to face each other. No matter how mad they make each other they still have to patrol. Hellmouth business comes first. 

Xander meets Buffy outside her house. They both know how heavy things have been between them. Neither of them wants to continue the fight they were having at the meeting. 

Xander watches Buffy descend from her bedroom. She has on the fighting togs which really turns him on. They consist of a black pullover sweatshirt, faded jeans and wide buckle black belt. Her hair is tied back with a dark green bandana. Light colored combat boots complete the ensemble. 

Her blond hair shines in the moonlight. Xander can, indeed, say he is allowed a glimpse of heaven when he can gaze on such a sight. Few mortals are allowed to witness a marvel of such magnitude. 

Then, he gets a pain deep within. It clouds his vision. Brings it back to earth, crashing. He wells up. Buffy comes to him. She sees his sorrow. 

"Xander, what's wrong?" 

He shakes his head, sniffing back his tears. He gets himself under control. Buffy is still looking at him. 

"Are you going to tell me, Xander?" 

"Nope." 

"Oh, great. All of a sudden we're strangers. I feel like you're a million miles away." 

"Let's just do patrol, please, Buff?" 

"Whatever." 

When Buffy gets home she lies on her bed, thinking. 

Xander is mystery man, now. He has a mystery identity. He makes trips to the underground without me. He has his own personal trainer. His own personal fashion model trainer. I feel like he doesn't even need me, anymore. He doesn't need any of his friends anymore. Willow feels the same way. Even Cordelia wants him back. 

* * *

Rebecca has been training Xander with the sword. As with the other facets of his training, He is becoming quite proficient with it. 

On the way home from training one night Xander comes upon two things on motorcycles. He assumes, correctly, that they are waiting for him. They are real happy go lucky assassins. They buzz by him once, kicking him as they pass. 

Xander moves to the middle of the street. One of the bikers zooms to the opposite end of the street. The other rides to the closest intersection. They are fixing to ride at Xander from both ways, sandwiching him in between them. 

Xander has his sword with him. He surveys the situation, while removing it from his back. He has learned that he must stay calm. Their lackadaisical attitude works to Xander's advantage. 

As they start roaring their way in his direction he begins to run toward the furthest rider. He wants them to reach him at the same time. 

When Xander feels he has the distance judged correctly he stops. He builds his concentration, holding the sword nestled to his chest. 

Both riders get to him simultaneously. With almost blinding speed he swings the sword in front of him then to the back. Both bikes spark and sputter as they slide down opposite sides of the street, still carrying their headless drivers. 

Xander has no time to enjoy his victory. He hears the wailing of police sirens. He hurries from the scene.

* * *

Xander realizes he and Willow have practically become strangers. He also realizes it is his fault. 

He sees Willow and Buffy coming down the hallway in school. He goes to them, addressing Willow. 

"Say, didn't I use to know you? Was it in a past life or something? 

Willow rolls her eyes at him. 

"You've changed so much I don't even know you, anymore." 

The redhead gets indignant. "I've changed! Xander, you don't even act like you know us any more." 

Getting serious, "I know, Will, I'm sorry." He looks at her with puppy dog eyes. "Can I please try to make it up to you guys?" 

Willow and Buffy look at each other. "What do you think, Buff?" 

"Maybe give him an appropriate trial period, then full membership if he behaves." 

"Alright, Xander." 

The three friends hug. Xander seals the moment "The three musketeers ride again. Look out world!"

* * *

Later, Buffy and Xander are working out upstairs in the library. Buffy notices Xander's legs. His regime of ten miles of daily bike riding has really gotten results. She is quite impressed. 

Xander notices Buffy's glances. He gets up, going to her. "I saw you doing that." 

"Doing what?" 

"I saw you looking at my legs. Now I get to look at yours." 

"No you don't." 

"Yes I do. That's the rule." 

"Don't look at my legs, Xander." 

"Why they're just legs. In fact I'm going to touch your leg, now." 

"No, you're not." He reaches out his hand to touch her. She tries to grab it but hits his leg by mistake. 

"You punched me!" 

"No, I didn't." 

"Yes you did, slayer, now I get to touch your leg twice." 

"Keep away from me, you moron!" 

Xander tries to touch her. She grabs his hands. This begins a wrestling match. They roll too close to the steps. They roll down, laughing all the way. Rebecca and Giles hear the commotion. They come over. Our heroes are embarrassed. 

"Giles, your slayer punched me, hard." 

"I did not, Giles." 

When they hear the both of them laughing, Rebecca and the watcher return to their business. 

"She was trying to fondle my legs." 

"Will you be quiet. Lets go back to training, crazy man." 

"Stop trying to touch my legs, then." 

Ha, all I did was look at your legs. You…" 

"You admit it! You were looking at my legs!" 

"Will you be quiet. They'll get the wrong impression." 

Every once in awhile Xander makes it his business to openly inspect the slayer's legs. When she catches him he raises his eyebrows up and down in an exaggerated motion. 

"Xander, what am I going to do with you? You are, by far, the craziest person I have ever met."

* * *

Go on to Part Eleven 

* * *

  
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	5. Chapter 11-12

* * *

Part Eleven: Peace Can Be So Fragile 

* * *

Buffy has had it with her life. She has to spend all of her time either killing scum or training to kill scum. It has her down. She wants her Angel back. But, it isn't simple anymore. What about Xander? Then it occurs to her. Xander never told her what he found out with his trip to the underground. 

I'll bet Angelus killed his parents. I'll bet he is training to face Angelus. 

She has to find out. 

Xander is pissed off, too. His reasons are different, however. When he started training it was for one purpose. He was going to challenge Angelus. If the thought of that wasn't bad enough, he knew he would have to go through the slayer to do it. 

But, why? How the hell can she possibly still be in love with the bloodsucker? 

* * *

When Buffy comes into the library for the after school meeting she is single minded. She approaches Giles. 

"Okay, Giles, yes or no question. Angelus killed Xander's parents, didn't he?" 

He just shakes his head. "Buffy." 

"Nice no answer, answer, Giles." She goes right to Xander. 

"This whole training, it's to get Angel, isn't it?" 

Not liking the tone in her voice he starts to walk away. She follows after him. She gets in front of him. 

"You know, Xander, you might be able to handle one or two monsters but, don't ever think you are on the level of Angelus!" 

Xander is disgusted. "I'm not going to listen to this shit." The boy starts to leave again. 

The slayer continues her verbal assault. "We'll get Angel back then everything will be okay." 

Something in Xander snaps. He turns around, going back to her. 

"Why are you doing this?" 

"I don't want you thinking you are ready for the big time. You're strictly a civilian." 

Xander is getting very upset. He knows Buffy is playing some stupid game with him. 

"I stopped being a civilian the first time your daemon lover sent a monster after me." 

"I knew it. Did you hear that, Giles? Tell him there's only one slayer." 

Giles just looks at her. She turns back to Xander. 

"I don't want you to come on patrol with me any more. And, some advice from me to you, don't try to mess with any of the big boys." 

Xander can't help himself. He has to reply. "You have the guts to be in my face with this?" 

Xander knows Buffy is really upset. He doesn't want to fan the flames. He walks to her. 

"Stop this, Buffy, please?" 

"Then you stop it. Whatever you are doing. Whatever you are doing to me. What the hell are you, Xander?" 

"Whatever I am I was forced into by your lover boy." 

"You hate Angel. You've always hated him. And the reason is because I love him and not you! I don't need you hanging around me thinking something is going to happen because it isn't. Even if there were no Angel I still wouldn't love you." 

The hurt on Xander's face is evident. The pain reaches deep inside him and Buffy knows it. 

After recovering he goes to her. He claps his hands together several times. 

"Wonderful performance, Buffy!" 

"If we're being brutal and honest here, it goes both ways. The only reason you're attacking me about your precious Angel is because you have an idea that I might be able to get in the same ring with him." 

"A blood sucking vampire and you're afraid for him!" 

This sets her off. "I'll be damned! You really think you are a bad ass now, don't you?" 

She walks face to face with him. "You think you're up there with the best? Let's see how good you are right now?" 

Giles tries to stop her. "Buffy." 

"No, we need to know. Prove yourself!" She pushes him. He tries to cool it. He grabs her arms. 

"Stop it, Buffy!" 

"Let go of my arms, Xander!" 

"Come on, Buff. We'll go someplace to talk about it." 

She knocks his hands off of her then, kicks him. His knee buckles. She jumps on him, pinning him to the floor. 

"What are you going to do now, Xander?" 

"Are you going to stake me, Buff?" 

"Just stay out of the fight until you grow up." 

Xander sees red. He pushes his knees up into Buffy's back. It knocks her forward. Then he throws her off of him. He jumps up. She throws a punch at him. He grabs her fist throwing it back at her body. She is frozen for the moment. 

"Alright, Buffy, I'm tired of your nasty ass brat routine. I'm sorry, Giles. If you're going to vent your anger at me then you're no better then the other freaks in Hellmouth. 

"Now, I hate to burst your little bubble, slayer princess. But, your boy knew I loved you a long time ago. It never bothered him. Why does it bother him, now?" 

"What has changed, Buffy?" 

She tries to look away from him but he won't let her "What has all of a sudden changed, Buffy? Why does he think he has to get me, now?" 

She doesn't answer. 

"You don't even know what's in your own heart, do you?" 

With disdain he continues, "He started sending his monkeys after me because you started to have feelings for me. He knows you better than you know yourself." 

"I never wanted any of this shit, Buffy. It came to me because of you. But, I want to declare this right out in the open in front of everybody. The place you were in my heart has now been replaced with pain. And what is the pain? You're right, it's him. You couldn't stake the bastard so now I get attacked twice a week and my parents are both vampires." "You are out of my heart, Buffy. Do the same with me! No more shit for you! 

"And, one last thing. If I ever get a chance to take that son of a bitch out I don't care if he's Angel or Angelus or Ronald McDonald, he's going down! If your on his arm…." 

Turning to the others. "I'm through! Have fun with her, just don't say anything bad about the bloodsucker!" 

Buffy has tears in her eyes now. The slayer's anger left her when Xander told her he was being attacked because of her, because of her feelings for him. She didn't know it was that evident. 

Xander is still not finished. "I just want to say one more time. You are out of my heart, babe." 

He spits on the floor in front of her then leaves. 

Everybody is flabbergasted. Buffy is wiped out. She slumps in a chair. She doesn't exactly know what happened but she does know that Xander is through with her. She hurt him for the last time. She can't believe the look on his face when she told him she could never love him. 

All Xander does is try to help her and make her slayer life a little easier and all she does is hurt him. She can't believe how bad she feels. She has always had Xander. She has always had his love. Now, she blew it. Maybe she doesn't deserve him in her life, anyway. 

Willow sees the look on Buffy's face. She tries to console her. 

"Buffy the tremendous hurt you felt when Angel turned. I don't think many people know how much it destroyed you." 

"Thanks Will but, I think I have a bigger problem. Did I just do what I think I did?" 

"Do you mean humiliate and physically attack Xander and then make him tear you out of his heart, twice, then drop you as a friend and all of us, too?" 

"I think that about sums it up." 

"Well, you did that. You get extreme passing marks for that." 

"What am I going to do?" 

Giles feels he has to butt in at this point. With Xander leaving the group is in chaos. He has to bring them back together. 

Looking at Buffy. "You're going to learn from what you just did. First, everything Xander just said was correct. You were wrong. 

"But, you are still the slayer and the rest of us are still a team. Xander will not abandon us. He just can't stand to be around You, Buffy." 

"Thanks for that, Giles." 

"Most of what happened tonight can be traced to the feelings you kids have for each other. I normally allow these interactions because you have a way of keeping each other honest, however brutally. But, this time it was different. Buffy, you have got to learn to deal with things at the appropriate time. That boy should not have had to deal with any of that tonight." 

"I want everyone to learn from this." 

After the meeting Buffy goes home, exhausted. She lies on her bed, thinking. 

I feel like my heart is broken all over again. There is no way out of the pain of Angel. Alive or dead, soul or no soul, there is nothing but pain. 

Then, I have somebody like Xander totally in love with me. What do I do, I rip his heart out and trample it on the ground. 

Now he feels like me. There's a pain where his heart use to be…where I use to be. 

So, what's left? 

Just the duty. Just the job. Be the slayer. All the rest is what Giles calls, matters of the heart. 

* * *

Xander is furious. Instead of coming to me she has to attack me. Why? Why can't she just look around? I'm here. I'm always here. I have everything she needs, too. 

Xander goes to his house. Linda gave him some of her special wine. He grabs some of his favorite "Poor me" blues CD's. He throws them on the player. He grabs some paper and a pen. In between gulps of wine he begins to write of his favorite subject, His unrequited love for Buffy Anne Summers, The vampire slayer. 

In the beginning, I saw you…A goddess, a creature down from heaven to light my path. My heart ached, pounded…Almost out of me to you. 
    
     You didn't see it.
    Then I learned. You are slayer. No ordinary girl. Special.
    Hell, I could have told you that!
    I joined. I came beside you. I stood behind you. My shoulder there when the terror came.
    You didn't see me.
    I faced my fear, swallowed my fright, and kept guard while you lay sick.
    Night after night kept both eyes on your back. Watched you. Helped you stay strong.
    All the time my heart breaking for your eye, your hand, your lips, your…
    But, you don't feel me!

He gets disgusted, throwing the pad of paper across the room. 

"Why can't I stop loving her!" 

"I don't want to love her!" 

He continues his tirade, out loud. 

"What the hell does she have on me?"

* * *

Xander cannot stop caring for Buffy but he can hide it. The thought of Buffy patrolling alone terrifies him. He follows her to the cemetery but, stays out of sight. 

Everybody has the same idea. Rebecca, Giles, Willow and Oz as well as Cordelia are there, also. 

Things go fine for awhile. One or two vamps but nothing major. 

Then, the air gets heavy. The birds stop singing. Even the crickets stop. Sensing this, Xander joins the group. The scene is so tense nobody else even says anything to him. 

He joins Buffy in the middle of the cemetery. She looks at him wide-eyed. He shrugs his shoulders. She continues to stare. 

"What?" 

The slayer smiles. "I never thought I'd see you here!" 

"The only way I can explain it is that you're like the female Rhinoceros. The female Rhinoceros does something to the male Rhinoceros. No matter how hard he tries. No matter what he does, he can't leave her. Something keeps forcing him back to her." 

The slayer stops. She furrows her brow. 

"You made that up, didn't you?" 

"If you went to school more you would know such things." 

"Ha, that's a joke coming from you. I go more than you do." 

"Sure you do." 

"Okay, smart alec, what's your average in Biology?" 

"Do I even have Biology?" 

Laughing, "I have a B+ average." 

"No, you don't!" 

"Ask, Giles." 

He turns around to Giles. "Does she have a B+ average in Biology, Giles?" 

Giles can't believe they are talking about something so mundane when all this evil is in the air. 

"Are you two aware that there is a definite aura of evil all about us?" 

Xander looks back to Buffy. "You better not be getting better marks than me." 

Their discussion is interrupted by the presence of Angelus. He is not alone, either. Spike, Drusilla and another evil looking woman flank him. 

The new woman's name is Carla. She is about Rebecca's height and build. She is fashionably dressed but, all in black. The woman has shoulder length black hair tied back in a ponytail. She exudes power and confidence and evil. Angelus comes up to the gang paying special attention to Rebecca. He speaks to Buffy first. 

"Well, if it isn't my die hard ex. How's the pain coming, babe? 

"Rebecca, my God, I haven't seen you since… well, since a real long time ago. And, Xander, how's Xander? Is she still breaking your heart?" 

Rebecca steps up, speaking, "I missed you last time I was scum hunting. You must have been out sucking some gutter snipe for blood." 

When Rebecca sees Carla she visibly cringes. Xander sees it. He starts to go to her but then backs off. Rebecca speaks. "Christ, Carla, you came right to me. I thought I'd have to sniff your daemon ass out in a pig sty somewhere." 

"Rebecca, what would life be like without you?" 

"You came in the front door this time?" 

Pointing toward the rest of the gang. "They told me you had help. So, this is your army? 

The daemon walks among them. "Let's see, we have one slayer… one watcher, assorted others with mild powers and…" 

She stops in front of Xander, looking at him, then back at Rebecca. "I'm impressed, Becky, where did you come up with him?" 

She speaks to Xander. "I wouldn't mind having you before I cut your head off." 

Carla fondles Xander's cheek. "Think you're man enough to handle me?" 

"Why do I think you'd be better served by a well endowed sewer rat?" 

Rebecca breaks out in a hardy laugh. "He's good, Rupert!" 

Carla puts on her game face. She is quite formidable. She grabs Xander's throat with her claw. It is terrifying. Buffy makes a move toward her. She lets him go. 

"I've changed my mind. I'm going to get pleasure bringing you to a slow death. You're on my shit list now, boy." 

"You'll have to take a ticket to get my ass." 

Xander's attitude is really scaring the rest of the crew. 

Buffy can't hide it though. She is impressed. 

Xander isn't finished. When he looks at these daemons all he can think of is his parents. 

"All this reunion shit is nice but, why don't we just get the damn thing started!" 

Xander shakes out a stake from his sleeve. He takes the crossbow from Giles, handing it to Buffy. 

"Which one of you freaks is first?" 

Carla is really mad at being upstaged. "You insolent pup!" 

Angelus chimes in. "Poor Xander is mad." 

Xander makes an attempt to go after him. Buffy stops him. 

"Xander, don't!" 

Angelus has to make one more comment. "Yea, hide behind your protector." 

He pushes past the slayer but Angelus is gone. 

"I'm here, I'm here!" 

Buffy goes to him trying to calm him down. "Will you calm down, Xander?" 

He throws the stake down. "God dam freak!" He looks at Buffy. 

"You're going to get in my way once too often, slayer!" 

She gently grabs his arms, looking into his eyes. 

"Xander, they're gone." 

"Next time stay out of my way!" 

"But, I was just…" 

She doesn't finish. Xander glares at her. She is really taken aback. 

She recovers. "What are you trying to do, Xander? You endangered everybody here!" 

"No I didn't, Buffy. They weren't going to fight now. We can't let them intimidate us like that. It's a psyche thing." 

Rebecca speaks up. "He's right, Buffy, those things make a difference." Buffy is really floored by Xander's actions. It is not unpleasant for her. She actually manages a smile. Even if the slayer doesn't realize it consciously, Xander is pushing his way deeper and deeper into her heart. 

She goes back to him. They look at each other for a minute. It is nice, A very non-verbal moment. They haven't had a tender moment together for some time. 

The space between them takes on that familiar charge. If this were another place…

* * *

Later, at the library the whole gang is there. Xander and Rebecca are off to one side having a private conversation. The rest are reflecting on the evening's festivities. 

Willow doesn't like Xander being with Rebecca. "What is going on with Xander?" 

Oz comments, "That was too freaky. They were scary people." 

"Not! There wasn't a person among them." Cordelia adds. 

Willow is scared. "I'm scared for Xander." 

"He didn't seem too scared for himself." 

"Yea Oz, but that doesn't mean anything. This new Xander is stupid Xander." 

Cordelia, almost in tears, "I think he's going to get killed." 

Buffy, who is looking at Xander, "Not if I can help it." 

Willow can't let it go. "Why did he have to go and get that Carla daemon mad at him, and Angel, too?" 

Buffy still stares at Xander. He and Rebecca are talking like they have some special bond. Rebecca is a very wise and good woman but Buffy sees her looking at Xander sometimes with more than friendly eyes. 

She is actually jealous. 

The fact that Xander's action at the cemetery scared everyone else is one thing. But, he scared her, too. 

The slayer turns to Giles. "Giles, who is Carla?" 

"She is an age old daemon who has wrecked havoc on this world for a long, long time, mostly in Europe. Rebecca has been chasing her most of this century. She is very, very formidable. She takes no prisoners." 

Xander and Rebecca are talking about Carla, too. 

"Rebecca, when you saw Carla you got nervous and all stressed out. That's the first time I ever saw you that way. It was scary." 

"You saw that, did you?" 

"I'm sorry, Rebecca." 

"Carla and her ex, a monster named, Malcolm, wiped out my entire family, much the way Angelus has done to you. I have been chasing her for most of this century." 

Rebecca gets very sad. Xander can see her eyes well up. He hugs her. He speaks to her softly as she cries. 

"Rebecca, I have never met a person that I have more respect for than you. If you ever need me for anything you are doing, I'm here." 

They break the hug. Rebecca looks at Xander, smiling. "Thank you, Xander." 

Giles comes over to Rebecca. They go off, arm in arm. 

Xander makes a mental note to himself to never pass up any opportunity he has to take that bitch, Carla, out!

* * *

Part Twelve: Danger Can Make For Excellent Whoppi! 

* * *

Buffy is beside herself. She is confused, angry and uncertain. It all has to do with Xander. With all the pressure of being the slayer she isn't able to sort out her feelings the way other girls her age can do. She never has the time or energy to do most of what other girls do. 

Everything is so damn intense with her and Xander. Her emotions are always raw when she is around him. Buffy can't think of a single time in her recent memory when she and Xander have just spent normal time together. It seems they are either fighting vamps together or fighting each other. And, this whole thing with him fighting vamps in the first place. She never agreed to him doing it all the time. It just sort of happened. 

Xander can't figure life out, either. When he first started out all he wanted to do was help Buffy. That is still, basically, all he wants to do. Everything he does still has something to do with her. But, why is she such a damn bitch to him? She is worse than Cordelia when he first met her. 

After a few thoughtless moments something dawns on him. He has figured out why she can't kill Angelus. As evil as he is, he is still her only link to love. She has to hold on to it. The only thing, which separates them from the evil they are facing, is love. If they don't have love, all they have is the violence and the darkness. Buffy is so close to the dark side sometimes. Xander knows because he can feel it, at times, himself. 

"Holy Darth Vader!" 

He decides to try something. He goes to Giles, getting the okay for he and Buffy to take the night off. Then he makes a call to a place, which delivers singing telegrams.

* * *

Buffy is at her house with her mother. A knock comes to the door. Joyce answers it. A young delivery person has a message. 

"Ma'am, I have a message for a Buffy, "The Slayer", Summers." 

Joyce gets Buffy. 

"You are Buffy, The Slayer, Summers?" 

Somewhat embarrassed, "Yes, I guess that's me." 

"I have a request from Xander, "No middle name", Harris. And it goes like this, 

He proceeds to sing a message, very off key, 

"Oh please, oh please you slayer, dear.  
Find it in your great big heart to clear, 

Some time in your busy retinue,  
For a poor guy whose purpose is to woo, 

Your attention from all this fuss,  
To buy you some dinner, oh please, you must!" 

Buffy just shakes her head, laughing. 

"And, he adds, this is the big time, baby! Wear something that will do him proud. If you play your cards right he might take you out stepping, afterwards." 

"Is that all?" 

"Well, he said one more thing but,..Maybe you could ask your mother to cover her ears or something?" 

Buffy looks at her mother. 

"Oh, well how about if I wait inside?" She closes the door. 

After a minute Buffy comes back in laughing. Joyce stares at her. 

"What, Mom?" 

"Are you going?" 

"I might." 

"What was the last part?" 

Buffy just smiles. 

"That was as corny as hell, Buffy, but, it was really cute." 

"I know." 

Buffy actually has a spring in her step as she runs upstairs. She stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself. 

This is so typically Xander. He knew, somehow I needed something like this. I am not going to turn him down this time. I'm not going to let the pain get the best of me. Xander knows about me. He wants to do this. Maybe it's time to trust him for once. I'm just going to go with the flow this time. 

As she gets herself ready she feels light. She's not getting ready to go slaying or to meet the master. She is getting ready for a big date. A date with a guy who knows all about her. A guy just as heavy as she. 

Buffy has not felt this good in ages. It surprises her that she actually knows much about what turns Xander on… 

Wait a minute! I can't believe I am doing this! 

I accepted a date with Xander and, now I'm getting ready And, I actually know what he likes? 

"Oh well, go with the flow, Buffy." 

When Xander gets word that Buffy accepted his offer he leaps for joy. He is going to do it up large! 

As he looks at himself in the mirror he notices how really dark and brooding his face has gotten in the past months. He lets out a little laugh to himself. 

"Just the way she likes it!" 

For once The Hellmouth has worked for him, yes!" 

Hoping that Buffy would accept, Xander made reservations at a very nice restaurant. The one thing Xander doesn't have to worry about is money. Unfortunately this brings him little consolation. Right now it is paying for him to go out with Buffy so, he'll take it. 

Buffy comes down the steps, ready for Xander. Her mother is there. 

"Wow, Buffy, you really pulled out all the stops, didn't you?" 

"I haven't felt this excited in a long time, mom." 

"This boy, Xander, he is more than just your friend?" 

"I really don't know what he is, mom." 

"If it means anything to you, Buffy, he certainly knows how to ask a girl out in style." 

Xander is really nervous as he steps to Buffy's porch. He is really decked out. He hopes Buffy notices. 

He has two bouquets of flowers. He knocks on the door. Joyce answers. She definitely notices Xander's digs. 

"Hello, Xander. Come in." 

"Hello, Ms Summer's." After coming in he hands her one of the bunches of flowers. 

"These are for you, Ms Summers, for having such a wonderful daughter. I'm sure she takes after you." 

Joyce takes them. She is really impressed. "Thank you Xander. Buffy comes over to him. Xander looks at her. 

"Oh my God!" He is suspended with his mouth open. 

Buffy has a similar reaction herself. She has never seen Xander look this..This, wow! 

Joyce laughs at them as neither says a word nor moves an inch. She tries to intervene. She tries to take the other bouquet of flowers from Xander. 

"Are these for Buffy, Xander?" 

Xander still can't answer. Joyce turns to Buffy. "Honey, I think these flowers are for you." 

"What? Oh, yes. Thank you Xander." She tries to take the flowers from his hand but he won't let go. 

Touching him on the arm "Xander, are these for me?" 

Finally snapping out of it. "Oh, yea, these are for you." 

Joyce can't help it. She runs to get her camera. 

"I know this isn't the prom or anything but, I have to have pictures of you two. Is that okay, honey?" 

"Yes, mom, it's okay." 

Joyce takes picture after picture. Finally, Buffy and Xander get out the door. Xander stops. He goes back to Joyce. 

"Thank you so much for your daughter!" He hugs her. He actually hugs Buffy's mother. When he goes back to Buffy she is shocked. 

They get in the car. Buffy is still staring at Xander. 

"Xander, you didn't actually hug my mother, did you?" 

"Oh, Buffy, it had to be done. Somebody has to be thanked for bringing you into the world." 

Buffy can only close her eyes and shake her head. The boy is very definitely nuts but his romantic ways are really charming the hell out of her. 

Thus go the ways of the heart! 

"Xander, you brought flowers for my mother!" 

"Buffy, let me ask you a question? I won't press it or anything, I promise. Did you.. Did you wear what you are wearing and look the way you look with me in mind?" 

Buffy is really embarrassed. Busted! 

Trying to play it cool. "I think maybe that question is sort of..Well something which can't really be answered." 

"What?" 

Changing the subject. "Did you make up the little rhyme that kid sang?" 

"Yea, I have some poetic stuff in me." 

Buffy closes her eyes. 

"Are you okay, Buffy?" 

"Yea, Xander, I am." 

The dinner is very nice. Xander is continuing his charming ways. 

"That dinner was very good, Xander, thank you." 

"Buffy, we both need this." 

Xander has some other surprises for Buffy. They don't go to the Bronze to dance. They go to a nightclub, a fancy one. 

Buffy is wide-eyed as they enter. Xander explains. "We're dressed way too good for the Bronze, Buff." 

"Besides, I'm about to show you a part of myself I have kept hidden. I'm only unveiling it for tonight. You are sworn to secrecy under pain of death." 

"What are you going to do now, mystery man?" 

They get a table. He leads her to the dance floor. A very danceable fast record is playing. Xander proceeds to dance, in time with the music and with moves, which could actually be called smooth. 

More than smooth. 

Down right good, even! 

If Xander's intention was to impress Buffy, he is succeeding, royally. 

Buffy is very good, herself, of course. 

They proceed to dance to each other and, for each other. 

Our two heroes are not heroes tonight, except to each other. 

They are not Buffy the vampire slayer and the boy wonder, right now. 

They are two good looking, high stepping young people on a mission. They have to move to the music, make their bodies dip and sway and rock until they bring that beat home! 

It is serious business and they both set themselves to the task. 

The results are ass kicking to say the least! They are both zonked into it. 

When a slow dance comes on they practically melt to each other's arms. Buffy finds herself getting as close to Xander as is possible. He readily accommodates her. Mid way through the song Buffy has to sniff back tears. Xander pulls away, looking at her. 

"Honey, do you want to go home or something?" 

Too embarrassed to say more. "Just dance, Xander, just dance." 

They dance most of the night away. They haven't said much in words but they have never had as good a conversation as they have had tonight. Buffy is beyond moved. They sit at the table. Xander looks at Buffy. 

"I think I'm danced out, Buff." 

She doesn't say anything. Xander leads her to the car. They begin to drive home. Buffy has a very funny look on her face. 

"Buffy, I don't want to keep asking you but, are you okay?" 

"Xander, I don't know what to say." She starts to cry. Xander pulls over. He goes to her side of the car. 

"Buffy we have really rough lives. You have had so much heartache." 

Through tears, "So have you, Xander. So have you." 

"I know. I wanted to make this a special night for the both of us." 

"Xander, it is. Everything is perfect. I've had an unbelievable time. I..I just.." 

She doesn't finish. 

"Buffy, I knew this would blow you away." He fondles her face. "Look, you need to keep hold of your love for Angel. I know that, now. He's your connection to the only goodness you've had in your life. It's okay, Buffy. I'm not trying to replace him. 

Xander continues. "I'm able to forgive you for not killing, Angelus. I thought I couldn't do it. I thought I was going to hate you, forever. But, now I get it. 

Xander starts to cry. Buffy moves closer to him, putting her arm around him. 

"Xander, Angel is not the only good I've had in my life. When we were dancing back there. I wasn't pinning for anyone else, Xander. I knew who I was with." 

They look into each other's eyes. There is no distance between them this time. Tonight already took care of that. 

The kiss is very tender. It needs to be. They both need comforting. The baggage these two are forced to carry around with them would leave any soul tattered and torn. 

They fondle and caress each other knowing they have to help heal one other. This damn business they are both in is relentless and unforgiving. Nobody knows it any better than they know it. 

"These past couple of months, Buffy, I've felt lost and alone. Now I know what you've been dealing with as the slayer. It's terrifying. Day after day, night after night, every time something goes bump in the night it's some freak trying to kill somebody." 

"Xander, I know I haven't been any support for you, at all. Not even I have as many things after me as you do, now. I know you're not even telling us about all of them. And I know that most of it is my fault." 

The slayer continues, "It scares me. You scare me." 

"Buffy, anything I have is for you. Any contact I make. Any strength I have. You're the slayer, Buffy. All I want to do is try to make your life a little a little easier." 

Buffy starts to well up. "Xander, I'm trying to keep myself in control, here. If you keep this up I'll be…" 

He doesn't let her finish. He starts the car, again. He zooms off toward his house. 

"The night is not over, yet. We have this one night to experience things we normally wouldn't experience." 

They get to his house. Xander pulls the love seat in front of the fireplace. He tells Buffy to start a fire. He starts to leave but stops. He looks back at Buffy. 

"Ah, Buff, when I say start a fire you do know I mean in the fire place, right?" 

She has to laugh. "Very funny, Xander." 

"Just checking. You know, with your reputation and all!" 

"Go do whatever it is you are going to do before I decide you are trying to seduce me, here, Lavelle." 

"Ugh, the hated last name! Now you have done it missy." 

He continues talking to her as he goes to the dining room, taking two wineglasses from the china closet. 

"Now, I will laugh at you hysterically when this stuff curls your toes." 

He gets a bottle of Linda's wine. He pours them both a glass. 

"What is this stuff, Xander?" 

"Just remember, Buff, we are young and carefree, just for tonight. Drink from the nectar of the Gods." 

Buffy looks at it suspiciously but she did say she was going to trust Xander, tonight. 

"Oh well." She takes a big gulp. Her eyes widen as the smooth sailing sauce rolls toward her stomach. 

Buffy is not a drinker. She can't afford to be with her line of work. But, this stuff. 

Oh, baby! 

"Is this a potion or something?" 

"I don't really know everything that's in it but, I think it's just wine." 

Taking some more, "Xander, this is very good!" 

They stare at the fire. Buffy's momentary high passes as she thinks of where she is. This is Xander's house. His house which he now lives in, alone. 

All the terror of that night comes back to her. She looks at Xander. 

"What is it Buff?" 

"Xander, I'm sorry. I can't help thinking of that night.." 

She doesn't finish but she doesn't need to finish. He knows which night she is talking about. 

"I know you don't want to talk about it, Xander." 

"No, Buff, actually I do. If you don't mind?" 

She gets closer to him, fondling his face. 

"It's something I never even thought could happen. I never told them anything about slaying. It's not something, which even crossed my mind. It was more than a shock, Buff. I mean, they didn't pay too much attention to me anyway but they still loved me in their own way." 

"Xander, one of the things which drives me crazy is the thought of you having to come home alone every night." 

He reaches his hand to her face. He very carefully outlines her features with his hand. He gently pushes the loose strands of her golden blond hair behind her ears. Buffy is enjoying it very much. 

When he gets to her lips she lightly touches his fingers with her tongue. Xander brings his lips closer to the slayer's face. He carefully kisses each of her eyes, first. Then he reaches for her dimples on either side of her mouth. He gently nestles her top lip between his teeth. He does the same with her bottom lip. 

By the time he gets to a full kiss they are both on fire. The intensity surpasses all their previous encounters. 

When they brake neither can say a word. 

Finally, Xander speaks. "Okay, slayer, now we get to see if we're compatible." 

Buffy, still reeling from the kiss, "Compatible, what does that kiss show?" 

"This is the real test." He tells her to finish her glass of wine, which she does. Then he fills her glass, again. He takes it, putting one side of it up to his mouth. He invites her to do the same with the other side. Then they both hold it with their teeth. Xander takes his hand off of it. So, now the full glass of wine is suspended between them with only their teeth holding it. Buffy starts to laugh. She has to take it from her mouth. 

"Xander, what are we doing?" 

"If we are compatible we will both be able to drink the wine at the same time." 

"Are you serious?" 

"This is really important." 

"I can't believe I am going to do this. If you tell anybody I'll deny it." 

"Stop staling, Buffy." 

Xander raises the glass to his lips. Buffy grabs her side. Xander drops his hand. 

When Buffy tries to drink the wine it spills, down her cheek to her neck and then places below. Xander watches the precious liquid on its journey. He grabs the glass. 

"Oh no, the juice from the Gods has spilled. It must be retrieved at all costs!" 

He jumps on Buffy, slurping the spilled wine from her neck and below. 

Buffy can't believe he is doing this! "Xander! Xander!" 

He pokes his head up, looking at her. 

"What?" 

"Are you crazy, I can't breathe!" 

"Take a breath." 

She does. He dives back in. Buffy starts laughing because, in addition to it doing other things to her, it tickles like crazy. She has to grab his shoulders, pushing him off the love seat. 

He falls on the floor. He looks at her. 

"You will force me to work from the bottom up!" 

She has to pull her feet and legs away from his diving face. She falls, landing on top of him. 

"Now, you have pounced on me with your slayer strength." 

"Xander, what am I going to do with you?" 

They look at each other, intently. This is always a mistake. 

There is nothing easy about this kiss. The entire evenings magic has now settled down to the both of them very much in desire and need for each other. 

When Buffy agreed to this date she had no idea she was going to be overwhelmed by a flow of love and charm and warmth. From the very beginning this night was done with class and nerve and spice. Add a little bit of sauce and you have the whole story. 

This Xander Harris is dangerous in more ways than one! 

The duo spark and sizzle and squeak, doing their love to a melody all their own. 

However, we do have to remember boys and girls, where our heroes live. 

This is Hellmouth! 

Even amidst the billowing passion and pathos of their true and fine union, Xander and Buffy can still sense danger a good thirty seconds before it strikes. 

Xander stiffens, his eyes popping open with alarm. Buffy immediately feels the same thing. "Shit, Buffy!" 

* * *

Go on to Part Thirteen 

* * *

  
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	6. Chapter 13-14

* * *

Part Thirteen: They Were So Close! 

* * *

A loud crash precedes the invasion of two sword-wielding beasts through Xander's bay window. He dives for under the couch, retrieving two swords of his own. Buffy is still hazy but catches the weapon as Xander throws it to her. 

The boy wonder is livid! 

"You bastards have no idea what you messed up!" 

He engages them, as a man possessed. They screwed up the most important night of his young life. 

Buffy barely has to lift a finger. Xander has the two beheaded in record time. 

The slayer doesn't want to ask the obvious question. No doubt these were presents from Angelus. She can't think about it. Xander notices her sadness. He goes to her. 

"It's okay, Buff, I'm actually use to it, now." 

"Xander, you're going to have to call somebody to fix the window." 

"Yea, I think I better get metal grates." 

They look at each other for a moment. 

"Xander, thank you. This night was really good. Maybe as good as I've ever enjoyed." 

Xander is only half listening. Buffy is going to leave and he knows it. He doesn't like it. 

Buffy notices his mood. 

"Xander…" 

She doesn't have to finish. 

It is over. They both know it. The spell has passed. The hourglass to their night of bliss ran out. 

There is an Angel in their picture, again, and he is not of the heavenly type. 

The window of opportunity has closed. 

"Xander, I have to go." 

"I know, Buffy. I don't want to know but, I do." 

She goes over to him, giving him a very warm peck on the cheek. 

She leaves. 

On the way home Buffy replays the night. She cannot deny that it was absolute magic. 

Did Xander and I almost do it? How about if the monsters didn't interrupt us? 

How much would I have resisted if Xander had ask me to spend the night? 

Buffy doesn't want to think about that part right now. Thinking about that might bring everything into question. She's just not ready. 

How did Xander ever get so charming and, so damn romantic? Then she thinks of Rachel and Cordelia and, how about all those underground connections? 

How many women did Xander sleep with? 

She finds herself very jealous. 

Oh, God am I having serious feelings for Xander? 

This thought staggers her for a minute. 

I can't. I can't pursue something with Xander. 

Buffy starts crying. 

It is a familiar story. It's like somebody told her she could have only one look at a good thing. It went sour so that's it. End of the story. The grave is dug. They can bury her with it, now!

* * *

Xander is cursing Hellmouth. Such a beautiful night. He spent a magic filled night with the girl he loves. She was there, too, All there! But then the reality of Hellmouth crashes their dream. 

But, he still cannot be mad at Buffy. She and Angel didn't split up. It was a tragedy, which separated them. When the slayer loves somebody she goes all the way. Xander has no idea if it could ever be that way between he and Buffy but he has no chance until she has worked through the thing with Angel. 

As much as he hates to admit it, unless they can somehow get Angel back she will never stop loving him. She and the vampire might live happily ever after if they get together, again, but she might also choose Xander. 

But, she can never give her heart to somebody else as long as his shadow hangs over everything.

* * *

Xander is very worried for Rachel. He wants to make sure he can move her to safety if trouble comes up. He pays a visit to Linda and Stacy. 

They give him some contacts so he can setup a safe network for her. He has a curious conversation with Linda. 

"Xander how serious are you about getting rid of Angelus?" 

"I'm serious, Linda, but it's complicated." 

"I know, with the slayer and all. Well, you can get rid of him and make her smile at the same time. Stacy and I have this spell and potion we put together. It would restore his soul." 

Xander sits down when he hears this. Linda knows the problem. She goes to him. 

"Xander, honey, I know how you feel about the slayer and I know how she feels about Angel but, at least you could get rid of Angelus." 

"I know, Linda. I know business comes first but the bastard killed my parents. I wouldn't be able to look at him." 

"Xander I'm sure you know how both Stacy and I feel about you but, if we can get.." 

Xander interrupts. "I know, Linda. Give me a day or so to think about it, okay?" 

"Okay, honey." She hugs him, goodbye.

* * *

"Damn, what now?" 

Xander mumbles to himself. You talk about being torn. I can't believe the bastard will get away with everything. He kills, plunders and terrorizes everybody but he'll come out smelling like a rose. And, she'll go with him! Fuck! 

But, hell, if we get him back then I'll know for sure about Buffy. 

But, how about my parents? 

Xander decides he must get drunk. He must get very drunk. 

If he is going to lose the woman he loves with all his heart and soul he is going to get drunk first. He owes it to himself. 

He goes to a bar. He has no problem getting served. Actually, he knows the owner. He is a distant relative. 

He sits at a table nursing a shot of something or other. There is only one other person in the bar. When she sees the sad look on Xander's face she decides to come over to him. 

"You look like you're trying to drown some sorrow?" 

"That's very perceptive." 

"Would you like some company?" 

"Are you a vampire?" 

The woman has to laugh. "I don't think so." 

"You're not a daemon or a she-goddess or anything?" 

"You're a very strange man. No, I'm just a lonely person." 

"I would be happy to have you in my company." 

"My name is Leslie." 

Leslie is about twenty-five years old, medium height with long brunet hair. Her hair is actually quite amazing, very luxurious and flowing. Despite obvious pain, her eyes also have a very inviting quality to them. 

"Xander is my name. I'm trying to sit here and get drunk." 

"A woman?" 

"Yes, a very special woman. Our love is forbidden." 

"Why?" 

"She was involved with another man. He's out of the picture at the moment but if I tell her what I know it will bring him back into the picture." 

Leslie interrupts. "I'll bet you I can finish it. You're torn between not telling her and possibly getting her hand or, telling her because you love her. But, then you risk losing her?" 

Amazed at how accurate her guess is, "Leslie, are you sure you're not a sorceress or a witch or something?" 

Laughing, Leslie adds, "No, just a very sad Leslie. I am different, though. That's why I'm so sad." 

"Let me try to guess yours. Well, let me ask you a question, first. Are you different say, you want love but everyone else wants sex? Or, are you different because you see things and can do things other people can't do?" 

"Both, actually." 

"Well, Leslie, you've bumped into the right person. Everybody I know is different. I'm different." 

"You say that with a certain pain in your voice." 

"Pain, yes. Agony, yes. I was hoping this sauce would dull it all." 

"What kind of pain, Xander?" 

"Well, look at my arm." He shows her the various scars he has from the attacks. 

"This scar is from two biker vamps who attacked me. The scar right beside it is from some hairy thing which got me as I was walking home." 

"Xander, why would those things attack you?" 

"They were sent by my heartthrob's ex. He's a vampire. The information I have is to give him back his soul, to turn him back into the lovable guy she fell in love with in the beginning." 

"Xander, either you are crazy or you really are as weird as I am?" She starts looking around. 

"Look at that shade over there." He does. She motions at it with her hand. It goes up. She does it again. It goes back down. 

"Hold your hand up, Xander." She brings his drink up to meet his hand. 

"Very impressive, Leslie. This power has caused you grief?" 

"I'm a freak!" 

Xander reaches out grabbing her hands. "Believe it or not, Leslie, there are a lot of freaks around. I hang with a whole gang of them. 

"Is it a club or something?" 

"No, Leslie, it's a very serious group. We fight vampires, mostly. But, there's always some super monster trying to take over the world." 

Leslie is crying. "Do you guys need help?" 

Xander puts his arm around her. "We always need help. I'll introduce you to people who can teach you how to hone your skill and use it." 

"But, Leslie, if you start to help us your life will never be the same. It's very dangerous. In fact, I'm very dangerous to be around right now. My heartthrob is a vampire slayer. She's loads of fun to be around." 

"All my life I knew I was suppose to do something. I was suppose to use this power for something. Maybe I found it. " 

They hug warmly. 

"Alright, now that is out of the way. We can concentrate on the matter at hand which is to get drunk, very drunk. Do you drink?" 

"I'm in a bar!" 

"That was good, Leslie. Did you use your power to think of that?" 

"You're a little crazy, aren't you?" 

"Yea, that's my specialty." 

"You're funny, though." 

"Let's get to work, Leslie." 

They down a shot then get another. 

"We live on Hellmouth. That means any freak going or coming from hell stops in for a visit." 

"What are you, Xander?" 

"I'm not sure. Nobody comes right out and tells me. The only thing I know is I can learn different forms of fighting real easy and I heal real quick." 

Touching his arms. "Except for the scars." 

"Xander, you sound cynical." 

"As soon as I met this slayer I fell in love with her. She didn't even see me for a couple of years. I hung in there. I tried to take care of her, watch her back and all. But, her love was this 247-year-old vampire with a soul. Then they made love, which caused him to lose his soul. So now he's a super-evil vampire." 

"And, you hate him." 

"Well, I don't want to blow you away with stuff, Leslie, it's really grisly." 

"Actually, Xander, I think this is the stuff with which I should be involved." 

"He killed my mother and my father, turned them into vampires." 

"Oh, Xander, that is awful. I'm so sorry. But, she still loves him even after what he did to you?" 

"Not the evil part. He's not a bad guy when he has a soul." 

"You know how to give it back to him, yes?" 

"Yes and I'm sitting on it." 

"You can't do that, Xander!" 

"Why?" 

"Because then you'll never know if she would pick you over him." 

"You're amazing, Leslie. You're right. I can't sit on it. I love her. I have to give her back her Angel. But, before that I have to get drunk. And so do you, Leslie." 

"Why do I have to get drunk?" 

"Because this is the last day your life is going to be safe. After tonight you are a marked woman." 

"By the way, Leslie, could I tell you something?" 

"Sure." 

"You have amazing hair." 

"Well, thank you." 

"Can I touch it sometime?" 

"You have my complete permission to use it for your enjoyment, Xander." 

Touching it. "Now that's a real friend. That is..That is something." 

They down another shot. 

Leslie looks deep within Xander's eyes. "You have great eyes, Xander." 

"Touch them if you wish." She does. 

After another shot, "Let's take a walk." 

They start to walk down the street. Xander stops. "But, if something attacks me, Leslie, can you use your power to get it?" 

"I don't know." 

"That's okay. I think it's a rule. You can't be attacked if you're drunk." 

A car stops for a light beside them as they walk. The radio is blaring. Xander and Leslie begin to dance with each other. The car lingers so they can complete their dance. 

"Now, that's what I call a polite person." 

"Yes, it is important that when you start a dance you are able to finish it." 

"You know, you are very wise, Leslie. You have beautiful hair and you are very wise. We may have to get married." 

"Oh, Xander, I hate when that happens." 

"Alright, now you like my eyes. What else do you like about me?" 

"I like the whole you." 

"No, you have to pick something." 

Looking at him. "How about..your lips? I'd have to test them." 

"That's serious. I hope I don't fall while you're doing it." 

Leslie kisses him. 

It is nice. 

About a block and a half away a solitary figure walks along the mostly deserted street. It is Buffy doing patrol. She notices two people embracing although she can't see who it is. 

Leslie and Xander walk on the opposite side of the street, totally unaware of her presence. 

"Well, do you like my lips, Leslie?" 

"I would probably have to do it a few times to really tell." 

"Wow, you really get into it." 

"It's the only way I can make a fair assessment." 

"Damn it!" 

"What, Xander?" 

"We can't get married. We don't have a stupid ring." 

As Buffy gets closer she has a very puzzled look on her face. One of the two people really looks like Xander. 

"What a stupid rule. There must be somebody around with a ring." 

They sit on a bench with their backs to the street. 

When Buffy sees it is definitely Xander she is incredulous. She comes over to them. Xander has his eyes closed. When Leslie sees Buffy. 

"You wouldn't happen to have a ring on you, would you?" 

The slayer ignores the question. "Xander!" 

Leslie answers. "Oh, you know him? He likes my eyes. I mean my hair. I like his eyes and, his lips. Did you ever taste his lips?" 

She still ignores Leslie. "Xander, what the hell are you doing?" She grabs him. Leslie goes to the slayer. "Hey, let him alone. We're going to get married." 

Finally responding to Leslie. "I don't know who you are but you have about three seconds to get your hands off of me." 

She does. "Xander is my friend." 

"Oh no, Leslie, that's Buffy. She's okay." 

"Is she your friend too, Xander?" 

The slayer still wants answers. "Xander, are you drunk?" 

"No, this is Leslie. She can make things move. Show her, Leslie." 

"Xander, you are drunk!" 

Leslie speaks up, again. "We had to get drunk." 

Buffy is getting very tired of Leslie. Again, I don't know who you are. I don't even care but, I'll take care of Xander!" 

"No, we're going to get married. We just need a ring." 

"Xander, tell your bimbo here she is very close to getting her ass kicked!" 

Xander staggers to Leslie. "I forgot what I was suppose to say, Buffy." 

"You're not dropping me for her, are you? Leslie approaches Buffy again. 

"We have something going." 

"No, Leslie, this is the slayer." 

"She's the slayer?" Xander nods. "We got drunk to forget you. You don't like his lips, do you?" 

Buffy grabs Leslie by the shoulders. The slayer sits her down on the bench. 

"Now, you stay!" 

"Whatever you doing here, Xander, is crazy!" 

Xander, sobering up for a second. "No, what I'm going to do tomorrow is crazy. What I am doing now makes perfect sense." 

"Yea, well, what happens if you get attacked while you're in this condition? I'm taking you home." 

"We have to take Leslie home first." He goes to her. 

"Leslie, Buffy is right. We'll get married tomorrow. I'll call you. Give me your number." 

They walk Leslie home. She kisses Xander goodnight. Buffy is shocked. They walk, getting to Xander's house. 

"I'm not going to say anything to you tonight because you're drunk. But tomorrow I'm really going to blast you, Xander." 

"I had to get drunk." 

"Oh, yea, why?" 

"Because of you." 

"You're not going to blame this on me." 

Xander, looking around. "What happened to Leslie?" 

"You were planning for her to come home with you. Oh, that's really good, Xander!" 

The slayer is disgusted. "Good night, Xander. I'll be back in the morning to check on you." 

Buffy watches him go in. She doesn't know whether to be mad at him or feel sorry for him. Then she thinks of Leslie. 

"Arrggh!"

* * *

The next morning Buffy comes to his house. She has the key. She wakes him. 

"Ah, awaken by a blond goddess." 

"Xander, get ready for the meeting. After, you and I are going to have a long talk." 

They go to the meeting. Buffy talks to the gang before Giles and Rebecca gets there. 

"Last night while I was patrolling down town I see two people sucking face, making fools out of themselves. I walk up and it was Xander and some fashion model. They're both stone drunk. He must collect them. She thinks they're getting married. She keeps asking me for a ring." 

Willow and Cordelia have their mouths open. They stare at Xander. He is too busy suffering with a hangover to pay attention. 

Giles and Rebecca come in. The meeting starts. 

Xander speaks up. "Giles, I think I met a woman last night with some special powers. She wants to use them to help us." 

Willow and Cordelia snicker. The slayer looks at Xander. 

"Come on, Xander." 

"What, she does!" 

Giles interrupts. "What is going on here?" 

Willow speaks up. "Giles, Xander got drunk last night and picked up some fashion model. Buffy had to kill her." 

Everybody laughs. 

Giles is annoyed. "Is there a women with powers or isn't there?" 

Cordelia interjects. "Apparently she has some power." 

Buffy adds, "She was about to take Xander for her stud. She has something." 

"Giles, she really does have powers. I'll make sure she gets in touch with you." 

The meeting ends. Buffy takes Xander into Giles' office. 

"What the hell was last night about, Xander?" 

"I'm sorry I didn't know you were going to be patrolling, down town." 

"So, the only reason you're sorry is because I caught you?" 

"No, that's not what I mean." 

"In addition to really hurting me, Xander, that was stupid." 

Buffy walks away. Because of the importance of what he has to tell her Xander doesn't notice how hurt Buffy is seeing him with another woman. He walks up to her. 

Very warmly and tenderly, "Buffy, wait a minute. First, Leslie really does have a power. The other stuff with her was just us being drunk. What I did last night only makes sense in the light of what I have to tell you today." 

"I was trying to drown something." Xander gets tears in his eyes. He tries to sniff them back. 

"Buffy, I love you and, because I love you I have to tell you something. I can't not tell you but it's going to kill me to do it." 

The slayer warms up to him. She fondles his face. "Xander, what is it?" 

"Sit down, Buff." 

She does. He kneels down in front of her, taking her hands in his. He gets control of himself. 

"Buffy, I…I can get Angel back for you." 

The slayer is too stunned for a minute to reply. Finally, she speaks. 

"What!" 

"I have two friends in the underground with a formula. With Willow's help we can probably get him back." 

Buffy is speechless. She falls back in her chair. 

Xander continues. "If we can lure him into a fight then we could be there when he changes." 

After her initial shock her first thought, surprisingly, is for Xander. 

It must have killed him to tell me this. 

After Xander told her he walked to the other end of the office. Buffy goes over to him. She can't believe how deeply she feels for him right now. It very much baffles her. 

She puts her hands around his neck. She reaches up to kiss him but he backs away from her. This really shocks the slayer. 

He just stares at her. "I have to go, Buff." 

"Wait a minute, Xander. That's it. We're not going to talk about it or anything?" 

"Buffy, please?" 

"You can't just spring this on me then leave, Xander! This is not something you can just dump in my lap. What about all the things you and I have been going through together?" 

"Buffy, this is Angel we are talking about. You know your Angel? The one who comes up every time you and I have a tender moment." 

Buffy is a little upset. "Yea, half the time it's you who brings him up!" 

Xander doesn't get it at all. "What the hell is that suppose to mean?" 

The slayer is very frustrated at the moment. She was coming to terms with Angel. She was putting the whole relationship into perspective. 

She was finally opening herself up to what she had in front of her. All of a sudden Xander throws this bombshell at her. Now he's noble, gallant man. What is she going to do with him?" 

She hugs him but he doesn't hug back. If Xander has ever felt worse he can't remember. 

He leaves. As Buffy watches him go she gets a pain deep in her heart. Willow goes to her. 

"What's the matter, Buffy?" 

"Your used to be best friend, Will, he's remarkable. He's as dense as hell but he's remarkable. He has friends who can get Angel back. So, of course, he thinks he has to stay completely away from me." 

"That's great, Buffy!" They hug. "Maybe the new Xander can be soft Xander sometimes." 

Willow sees something in Buffy's eyes as she watches Xander leave something very strange. It seems to be a deeper version of the look she always gave Angel when he left her. It's a mixture of awe and fear. 

"Are you okay, Buffy?" 

"I think I'm in trouble, Will." 

"Does it have something to do with the way you were looking at Xander when he left you?" 

The slayer closes her eyes. "Will, I have never had these kinds of feelings before. They are very confusing. I loved Angel, I know I did. I may even still have those same feelings for him. But, what I feel whenever I'm around Xander is different. I can't even explain it." 

"Buffy, I think you are in trouble, big trouble. What are you going to do?" 

"I have no idea, Will."

* * *

Part Fourteen: He'd Much Rather Stake Him 

* * *

Xander walks back to his house, disgusted. A million to one, this was the chance he had with Buffy once the brooding one was back. It was just a pipe dream, anyway. He's lucky she ever looked at him in the first place. 

Sadness, loneliness following him around. He got a few kisses, that's all. A few very passionate kisses. Kisses which rocked them both! 

All of a sudden Xander gets very pissed off. 

You mean to tell me dead boy can match the intensity Buffy and I had the other night? 

I think not! 

She might go with him, stay with him, love him but it will not be as intense as what they had together. Why the hell doesn't she see that? 

Buffy doesn't know what to do. If she ever had one shred of doubt as to whether Xander Lavelle Harris loved her this erased it. It use to bother her that Xander loved her. Especially, when he was around Angel. 

But, what about now? What about the time Xander and I spent together? What about that night? I didn't even know where I was half the night. I was lost in his magic. It's not lightweight, either. With Xander, I always feel my back is covered. 

But, Angel, my Angel. He is the light for me. Xander said it. He has always been my connection with love. 

But, what about the things he did to Xander's parents? 

Buffy goes in to see Giles. "Giles, Xander has a formula to get Angel back." 

"Oh, Buffy, that's…that's remarkable." 

The watcher has mixed emotions, himself. The thought of seeing Angel again doesn't exactly thrill him. 

"Xander figures if we could lure him into a fight we can be there when he changes. It will keep Spike and the rest off of him. 

"Buffy, Xander came up with this?" 

"I know, Giles. I can barely deal with that." 

"Well, I guess we should do it soon. If we can save lives by bringing him back then we should do it as quickly as possible. Is Xander around?" 

"No, he went home." 

"Can you stop to see him?" 

"I can stop by on my way home." 

"Let's meet tomorrow night. Could you also tell the others?" 

Willow comes in. Buffy tells her of the meeting. 

"Buffy, also tell Xander to bring the new woman." 

"Giles, I don't think we should encourage him to pick up floozies at the bar! She's an older woman and she was all over him!" 

Willow stares at her. The way she said that sounded like she was jealous. Buffy responds. 

"You didn't see her, Willow. He was very drunk. I think she was going to take him home. 

Buffy leaves.

* * *

Xander is moping around his house. The doorbell rings. It is Leslie. 

"Well, if it isn't my drinking buddy. Come on in." 

"Did we make fools out of ourselves last night?" 

"The slayer is very mad at us. You must have been telling her we were going to get married." 

"Oh, that did happen, then." 

Xander decides to see how much he can get away with. "Yep, it all happened." 

"It all happened? What else is there?" 

Xander keeps it going. He goes up to her acting very serious. "Honey, you don't remember what we did?" He walks away from her. 

Leslie gets worried. She goes to him. "Xander, what did we do!" 

He turns around "Got ya!" 

"You creep!" She reaches to him. He falls on the sofa with her in pursuit. As they are wrestling around Buffy walks in. She sees them. She shakes her head. 

I rang the bell, Xander. You didn't answer. I thought maybe you were sleeping. I was going to leave you a message. I should have known better! What is it with you, Xander? This time you're not drunk!" 

"No, Buff, this isn't what it looks like. I was just kidding her about last night." 

Leslie chimes in, "That's true, Buffy." 

"Whatever. Giles would like the two of you at the meeting tomorrow night." 

Buffy walks out. Xander catches her on the porch. 

"Buffy, could you stay a little while? You could help me tell her about Hellmouth." 

The slayer walks away shaking her head. Xander goes to her. 

"Buffy, I want Leslie as a friend, our friend. That's my interest in her." 

"Xander, you were sucking face with her. Today you were love wrestling on the sofa." 

"Buffy, I don't want to have a fight with you." 

"Fine, then stop picking up women from bars. Have a little bit of self control!" 

"Buffy, I went to the bar to try to drown the sorrow of what I told you." 

The slayer gets angry. "If it made you so damn sad, why did you tell me?" 

"That is cold blooded, slayer. Are you trying to be funny?" 

"I'm getting tired of this heavy stuff with you all the time!" 

Xander just shakes his head. "You're too much!" 

"I'm too much? My life is simple without you. You think Angel is complicated. He's light faire compared to you!" 

"Well, It's perfect for you, then. He'll be back and you can live happily ever after. The slayer princess and the vampire with a soul. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding!" 

Xander goes back inside. Buffy is very angry with herself. 

This is how I treat him after what he is going to do for me? 

Why can't I control myself around him? Why did she have to be here? I really wanted to talk to him. Now he'll be really mad at me. I bet he'll talk to her!" 

Leslie talks to Xander. "Are you okay?" 

"Yea, just another round with my favorite slayer." 

"Did I get you in trouble, again. She is very jealous, Xander." 

"I don't think so. I think it's just her nasty slayer temper." 

"I have to tell you Xander. I know we were drunk last night but, I really had a good time." 

"Me too, Leslie." 

"I think your slayer picked up a little chemistry between us. It made her very nervous." 

"Well, she knows I love her." 

"I'm sure she does, Xander." 

"Leslie, we have this small group. We are all friends. We have a lot to say about each other's lives. Don't be surprised if you get flak. There's another girl, Cordelia. She and I use to go together. She dumped me but lately I think she is reconsidering. Don't be surprised if she says something also." 

"Do you like her?" 

"Leslie, so much has been happening to me I don't really know. I did like her. When I first started going with her she was a real bitch but she really changed. She helps us all the time, now." 

"Why did she dump you?" 

"Because she said I couldn't love her the way she loved me." 

"The slayer?" He nods. She keeps looking at him. 

"What?" 

"Is she right?" 

Getting a little perturbed. "Right about what, Leslie?" 

"Are you open to other relationships?" 

"I think I am." Xander walks out to the kitchen but then returns to the living room. 

"Leslie, the slayer and I are taboo. She is going to get her Angel back. I had a good time last night. I have no idea what that means." 

"Okay, Xander. That's good enough." 

"Can I make you something that is proven to cure a hangover?" 

"I guess so as long as it is not too weird." 

"I don't do weird. I was talking about a Bloody Mary." 

Leslie, laughing, "I don't think so Xander."

* * *

Leslie comes to pick up Xander for the meeting. They walk a couple of blocks. Xander gets that "about to be attacked" feeling. 

"Shit, Leslie, we're about to get attacked." 

"What?" 

A creature comes running out of a small wooded area. It smacks Leslie on the shoulder. She falls against a fence. 

Xander front kicks it then follows up with a vicious sidekick. 

Leslie screams in shock as it picks Xander up, slamming him into the fence beside her. He jumps up, drop kicking the monster as it rushes him. It slams into a tree. Xander finds a two-by-four. He picks it up, swinging it into the beast's face. He pulls out his knife. 

Xander stabs it in the side. It shrieks in pain but manages a viscous backhand to the boy's jaw. The monster rips at him with its claw, slicing his shoulder. 

Leslie is frozen in fear. 

Xander spins once, nailing the thing with a kick, which rocks it against the fence. The boy then flies into it with both hands on his long stake. He plunges it to the chest of the beast. 

It squeals in pain. A light ray bursts from the wound. The monster then collapses in flames. 

Xander falls over exhausted. 

Leslie goes to him, crying. "Xander, are you okay?" He looks up at her. "I'm so sorry I didn't help you. I was so afraid." 

Xander gets up to a sitting position. "It's okay, Leslie." They hug. 

"It's terrifying if you 're not use to it." 

Leslie is bleeding from her shoulder. Xander has bleeding wounds on his cheek and back. 

Leslie is still crying. "Xander, does this happen all the time?" 

"Unfortunately. Leslie, let's go to the library. We can get patched up there." 

They make it to the library. 

When Buffy sees that Xander is hurt she runs to him. Willow and Giles go to Leslie. 

"What the hell happened, Xander?" 

"Another present." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Just another night at the office." 

Buffy very lovingly cleans Xander's wounds. The one thing the library has is an ample supply of first aide medicines. 

Xander looks into her eyes as she is doing it. Occasionally she looks back. When she does Xander could swear he sees Buffy looking at him the way she use to look at Angel. He dismisses it as grogginess from his wounds. 

Willow and Giles patch up Leslie's shoulder. 

Giles speaks. "Now, what happened?" 

Leslie jumps right in. "We were on the way here. This huge monster jumped out." Leslie starts crying. Xander goes to her. She continues. 

"It was terrifying." She can't continue. The rest of the gang isn't use to anyone breaking down this heavily from the rabble they consider almost daily faire in Hellmouth. 

Xander continues for her. "It knocked her out of the way." 

"A vampire?" 

"No, it was huge and hairy." 

"How huge?" 

"I don't know, Giles, maybe 6'5"or 6'6", 300 lbs. It looked like an ape, only it had a real hard head. I hit it in the face with a two-by-four. It felt like I hit stone or metal." 

"How did you get away, Xander?" 

"I was actually able to stake it after a few kicks and punches. It did the light thing then, the fire thing then the ashes." 

Giles shows Xander some pictures. He picks one out then shows it to Leslie. 

"That's it. I'll never forget that face." 

Willow puts her arm around Leslie. "Give it a little while, Leslie, it won't be as traumatic every time." 

"You picked Warrick. Xander this is highly unusual." 

Buffy speaks up. "Giles, he's been attacked even more times than he tells us." 

Giles stares at the youth. 

"So far I've been able to handle it. Giles, let's move on. I was about to introduce you to, Leslie. She has some neat powers." Looking at her. 

"Are you up for a little demonstration, Leslie?" 

"I guess so." 

Xander gets up. He is psyched. "It's a little cold in here. You want to shut the windows, Leslie?" 

Everyone looks over to the windows. Leslie motions to them one at a time. They all close. 

Giles is the first to speak. The excitement on his face is apparent "Very impressive, Leslie!" 

She opens them all again. 

"Amazing!" 

"It didn't do any good when we were attacked. That monster could have killed Xander and I would have just laid there in fear." 

Willow tries to comfort her. "That was the first time you ever saw anything like that, Leslie. We were all afraid at first." 

Cordelia chimes in, "Most of us still are afraid!" 

Giles adds. "Your reaction was quite normal in that situation. You will gain confidence in yourself. That is if you are willing to join us?" 

"I'll be scared out of my mind but I'll do what I can." 

Xander ads, "You'll train with us. Pretty soon you'll be picking up things like Warrick and tossing them around." 

"I'm afraid the power is quite limited." 

The watcher feels he has to warn the newcomer. "You are welcome, Leslie, but you do understand you are putting yourself in harm's way by doing so?" 

"All my life I've been different. It made me a loner and I was quite unhappy. With you guys I feel like I'm normal." 

Cordelia is indignant. "Shouldn't we be insulted?" 

Everybody gets a good laugh out of this. 

"Moving on, let's discuss our main topic of the evening." 

Buffy interrupts. She has been reading the book on Warrick. 

"It says here Warrick is, was, over 200 years old. He only goes after creatures or people who alter the balance of good and evil." 

Buffy stares at Xander with furrowed brow. She continues. "It also says he has to be summoned by an evil greater than the moon." 

Giles interrupts. "He's a hit man, Buffy." 

Xander doesn't want to hear anymore. "He's dead, let's move on." 

Giles changes the subject, "Xander, does your friend have a formula to return Angel's soul?" 

"Yes. And, along with Willow's help we can probably do it. I can get her here anytime." 

Cordelia can't resist a comment. "Of course it's a woman!" Xander looks at her. 

"Aren't there any men in the underground?" 

Buffy answers. "There are. He just never meets any of them!" Giles gets back to the subject. "Buffy, do you think you and Xander can lure Angelus into a fight?" 

"We'll try, Giles. That is if Xander can pull himself away from his bar maid?" 

Leslie doesn't hear her but Xander does. He goes up to the slayer. 

"I think you said enough, Buffy." 

"Xander, if you want to be a part of things you have to live up to a certain standard." 

"Are you crazy, Buffy? I think you said enough to hurt me. Do you want an all out battle?" 

"It's not me sucking face with anyone who is willing." 

"No, all you want is a blood sucking vampire to sleep with!" 

As soon as Xander says that he knows he went too far. 

"You bastard! Don't come anywhere near me, Xander." She runs out of the meeting. 

Xander runs after her. He catches up to her but she pushes him away. He runs in front of her. 

"Okay, you can go away but just let me tell you I'm sorry I said that." 

"You said it, Xander." 

"That's not what's in my heart and you know it. Come on, Buff, we both have things to discuss." 

She stops, closing her eyes. She turns around. Xander goes to her. 

"You scared me there, Buff." 

"Why, because you finally spoke your mind? You were afraid to tell me the truth?" 

"You were attacking me. I had to come up with something." 

"You went to a bar to get drunk. You picked up another fashion model. Now you want her as part of the group. I come on patrol and she's looking for a ring so you can get married. I saw you kissing. You also kissed her goodnight. She was tickling you on your sofa." 

"Do you think I'm an asshole? That's not friendly stuff. That's boy/ girl stuff!" 

Xander has his mouth open. "Aren't you missing something here, Buffy? You and I are friends, Right?" 

Disgusted, "Is that what we are, Xander? You know, you can sniff a daemon at fifty yards but in some things you are as stupid as hell!" 

"Well, thank you." 

"You're filled with all this wisdom about me but…Willow is right about you." 

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" 

"It means you have this uncanny ability to have something right in front of you without ever having a clue!" 

"Look, slayer, we're getting your Angel back for you." He puts his finger in Buffy's face. 

"The last thing I want to do is fight with you, Buffy. Maybe we better just talk about the business at hand." 

"Yea, okay, Xander. What the hell, keep your head in the clouds. Look, all you have to do is make the initial contact then you can jump in bed with your groupie." 

"I..I don't get it." 

Buffy interrupts "No kidding!" 

"Don't mess with me, Buffy! When Angel comes back you can be all hugs and kisses. This spell won't break if you make like bunny rabbits. I'll always be here to take your shit and, his shit!" 

"Anybody else in hell you want back?" 

Xander storms away. 

* * *

Angry with one another or not, the business of Hellmouth must go on. 

Xander meets Buffy at her house. He's all business. Buffy addresses him. 

"Where's the bar maid?" 

"She's not a bar maid." 

"A little touchy?" 

"Could we call a truce since we both might die tonight?" 

"You're right. I forgot you're public enemy number one now. Xander, since when did you get to be more dangerous than me?" 

"I don't know but I'll gladly let go of that honor. I think you're better suited for it." 

"Not any more!" 

"Well, you have that natural slayer nastiness." 

"Yea, but you have that bad ass routine." 

"But, you have those slayer powers." 

"Yea, but you have that quick healing thing." 

"Everybody knows you're mean and nasty." 

"But, they haven't seen you, lately." 

Xander sticks his tongue out at Buffy. She has to stop and laugh. Xander joins her. 

After a few more minutes of walking. 

"You know, I need a title." 

"What?" 

"I need a title. You have a title, Buffy, the vampire slayer. I want a title." 

"Well, you can't have one." 

"I'm going to ask Giles'" 

"He's my watcher. He'll do what I say." 

"You're a brat!" 

"Yea, but at least I have a title." 

Xander and Buffy stop as they near the cemetery. They can feel the weight of what they are going to do tonight. 

"Buffy, we might be really upset with each other but there is nobody's arms I'd rather have holding me than yours. Could we just…" 

He doesn't need to finish. Buffy embraces him. 

A sarcastic voice interrupts them. 

"Well, look at that, Spike. The pathetic boy wonder in the arms of his forever love. Still can't get her to love you. And, Buffy. She just can't seem to shake her love for me. I can do anything to anybody. She's like a Timex watch. Takes a liken but keeps on ticking." 

Xander calmly walks up to him. Buffy is shocked. 

"You know, I'm getting tired of you freaks breaking up our tender moments together." 

"Oh, yea, what are you going to do about it?" 

"You know what I was thinking, Angelus? How about you and me in a fair one?" 

"Do you know what would happen to you without the slayer to protect you?" 

"I've been feeling my oats, lately. How about you and me tomorrow night?" 

"Do you have a death wish, boy?" 

"Angel, I'm getting the idea you don't think you can take me. Hey, Spike, I'm calling him out. What do you think enemy to enemy? I think I can take him." 

Spike replies. "Well, you did kick Warrick's ass." 

"And, those two bikers he sent." 

"I have to hand it to you bloke, that was pretty slick. You should have claimed the bikes, though." 

"The cops were coming." 

Spike looks at Angelus. "What have you got to lose, Angelus. I think he'll make a good lunch snack." 

"Damn, Spike, that was harsh. I thought we were bonding here? 

Angelus can't get out of it. He looks at Xander with fire in his eyes. 

"Tomorrow night!" 

They leave.

* * *

Go on to Part Fifteen 

* * *

  
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	7. Chapter 15

* * *

Part Fifteen: Xander, Are You Dense? 

* * *

Buffy is absolutely shocked. Xander showed arrogance and a hardness that was scary. She goes to him. 

"Can you explain that to me?" 

"What, the part where I had to force the bastard to fight me or the part where I could have stuck a tree trunk up his ass and didn't do it?" 

"That's Angelus and Spike you were talking like that to, Xander!" 

"They shouldn't even have names. They're animals." 

"What if he kills you before we can change him?" 

"Buffy, this is not a good time to talk to me. I'll see you at school tomorrow." 

"I can't let you face Angelus tomorrow night. It was suppose to be the both of us fighting him." 

"It didn't work out that way. Let's go with the hand we were dealt." 

"I don't want you to show up. I'll.." 

Xander interrupts. "Look, Buffy, who are you worried about, here?" 

"What is that suppose to mean, Xander?" 

"Who are you worried is going to get killed, me or Angelus?" 

"You know, you can drop the hard ass act now. You're with me." 

"This is the real me, now. The other stuff is an act." 

"What was all that tenderness before, was that all an act, too? How about the idea that you're suppose to love me, Xander? Was that just some weakness of the old Xander?" 

"This is all about me loving you. I have to live with the fact that you want him back. You have to live with the reality of what that does to me." 

Buffy stops. "Yea, but you won't talk to me about it, though." 

"I don't want to talk about it." 

Buffy has had enough. "Good night, Xander." 

"Good night. I'll see you tomorrow." 

"Not if you're like this you won't!" 

"Whatever." 

Buffy feels shell-shocked. She allowed Xander to set up a fight with Angelus. But, what the hell could she have done about it? She has never seen Xander that hard. Unless she was imagining things she could have sworn she saw a bit of fear in Angelus's eyes. 

What the hell has Xander become? 

He said it. He was forced into being like this. It's not his fault. 

Why do I spend so much time thinking about Xander? 

She tries to stop herself from thinking about this next question but it keeps coming up. 

Do I ..Do I love.. 

She stops herself. She has to concentrate on getting Angel back. 

Please, God, don't let anything happen to Xander tomorrow. Let me face Angelus. Let me talk Xander out of doing it. I won't be able to take it if something happens to Xander. 

Xander feels really bad. There is a big part of him that wants the spell to fail. He planned to get Angelus to fight him. He didn't want Buffy to be involved. He can't help it. 

Buffy is lying on her bed crying. 

Everyone expects me to be happy. Everyone expects me to be overjoyed because my Angel is going to be back. But, all I can think of is Xander. 

I don't want to think about him. Damn him! He had to go and get so good. He has to be so damn charming and, romantic and, funny. Going on patrol with him is like going on a date. His stupid jokes and his stupid poetry! 

Then, it was Xander who decided that we were going to bring Angel back. For the good of the slayer he'll break his own heart. How chivalrous! He should have been around during the time of the knights. 

I can't love Xander. It must be some kind of mistake. It can't work. 

Why can't Xander do something? He's a big man now. Instead of just giving me over to Angel, why doesn't he do something? I'm the slayer. I always have to do everything. I practically threw myself at him tonight but did he take the hint? No, not Xander Harris. 

He's too damn ready to give me up! 

We'll, I'm going to call him on it, damn it! He's suppose to love me. 

She screams "Okay, big man, I'm here! If you love me do something about it!"

* * *

Buffy talks to the gang at the meeting the next day. Xander hasn't gotten there yet. 

"He confronted them. Real bad ass stuff. He set it up for he and Angelus to fight tonight. I don't think it is a good idea, Giles." 

"I agree, Buffy, but I think Xander has moved passed us to a different level. I doubt if we could stop him." 

"Yea, to the level of stupid! Angel will take him apart. Did his contact come?" 

"Yes, we have the formula and the potion." 

"Who was it?" 

"She wanted to stay anonymous." 

Willow, looking at Buffy, "Fashion model, definitely!" 

Giles doesn't understand. "What?" 

Willow answers. "All of Xander's contacts in the underground are fashion models. That's their cover." 

Giles dismisses the comment. "Whatever. The formula will take between fifteen and twenty minutes to work. The potion needs to be splashed on Angelus at any time during the reading of the spell." 

Xander walks into the meeting brandishing two swords. When Buffy sees his choice of weapons she freaks out. 

"Xander, you know he's an expert with swords. Are you trying to hand him your head?" 

"No, I'm not, Buffy. I'll be okay." 

"Yea, sure. You want to talk to him, Giles." 

Slightly annoyed at the slayer but commenting anyway, "This is a very dangerous plan, Xander." 

"Oh, gees, that's different." 

Giles shrugs his shoulders. 

Buffy won't drop it. "That's it. That's all you're going to say?" 

Cordelia speaks up. "If you want Angel back this is the risk to do it!" 

"Well, Cordelia, how cold! And, I thought you actually cared about Xander. What, did you find another closet partner?" 

"Look whose talking about caring for Xander. You wrote the book on hurting him!" 

Buffy goes up to the brunet with clenched fist. Cordelia doesn't back down. Willow gets between them. The redhead is very upset. 

"Sit down, Buffy!" The slayer is shocked at the demeanor of the usually mild mannered witch. She sits. 

"The entire thing is risky, Buffy. The only real reason to do it is because it will eliminate Angelus from the scene if it works." 

Buffy stares at Willow. 

"It's true, Buffy. Otherwise it would be too risky to try. "But, if you want to try it this is the way." 

"Nobody sees the obvious?" 

Buffy is afraid for Xander. Everyone else is worried, also. But, their chief worry is that Buffy would not be able to kill Angelus if the spell doesn't work. Xander would have no such problem. Whether the boy wonder could actually pull it off is another matter. But, at least he would have no emotional qualms about it. 

Buffy can't help herself. She walks out into the hallway. 

Giles proceeds to run down the plan to Xander. 

When Rebecca sees Buffy leave she excuses herself. She goes to her. 

"You think this a reckless plan, don't you? 

"Swords, Rebecca, Angelus is an expert with those things!" 

"Buffy, things are really intense with you and Xander, aren't they?" 

"Nothing but." 

"Can I ask you something?" The slayer nods. 

"Have you developed deep feelings for Xander?" 

"I know how ridiculous that is Rebecca. Especially, now." 

"It's not ridiculous, Buffy. You two have been going at it tooth and nail since I've been here. You have been misunderstanding each other and missing each other. I've seen you fighting it. I've seen him fighting it. I knew it would catch you sooner or later." 

"Rebecca, I tried to forget him. I tried to ignore him. He won't go away. Every time I look into his eyes I see his love and his concern and his caring." 

"And, he's so damn romantic! Last week he sent me this stupid singing telegram with the most outrageous poem you've ever heard. We went to dinner and dancing. I never had a better time in my life!" 

"I can't fight it any more. I don't want to fight it anymore. But, what am I going to do?" 

"Buffy, you and Xander play such a high stakes game. Everything you do is dramatic and full of angst. I'm sure the results are real kick ass, too. Tell him." 

"Ah, Rebecca, do you think now is such a good time?" 

"One or both of you could die tonight. If it's him wouldn't you want him to know the one thing which would bring him the most happiness he's ever had?" 

Buffy thinks this over for a minute. Rebecca turns to go back to the library. 

"Rebecca, could you ask Willow to come out here, please?" 

Willow joins Buffy in the hallway. The redhead can see she has been crying. 

"Are you okay, Buffy?" 

"Willow, I wanted to tell you first before I even told him. I hope you don't get mad at me. 

"Xander, I..I love him, Willow. I can't help it. I tried not to. I know it's bad timing." 

The slayer starts crying. Willow comforts her. "Buffy, you practically said it yesterday. Most of us kind of knew it before." 

"You did? It was that obvious?" 

"The way you two had that passion every time you were together. It had to be love Buffy. Every time you are around Xander you seem to fall apart." 

The two hug warmly. Buffy sniffs back the rest of her tears. 

"I'll go back to the meeting, Will. Thank you." 

"I have to use the powder room. I'll meet you back there." 

When Willow enters the bathroom she is pounced upon by three very husky vampires. Once she is subdued Drusilla approaches her. The vampire Queen hypnotizes her, giving the redhead some instructions. Then she and the rest of the vampires sneak away. 

Willow finds herself dizzy for a minute. She leans against one of the sinks. It passes. She calmly walks out of the bathroom and joins the others at the meeting. 

Giles is addresses Buffy. "Are you okay, Buffy?" 

"Yes, I have decided what I am going to do. If Angelus hurts Xander I'm going to kill him, whether he is Angelus or…Angel!" 

Xander can't believe it. He goes to Buffy. "Could I see you in Giles office, Buffy?" 

The two youths leave the meeting. 

Xander stares at the slayer. "Are you serious, Buffy?" 

"I'm afraid this is the last time I'll see you, Xander." 

They embrace very warmly. 

"I'm sorry I'm being so flip about it. I'm scared, Buffy. The reason I did the thing in the cemetery was to save you the pain if the spell doesn't work." 

"I know Xander. You're not hard to figure out. If you can save me any kind of pain you jump at it." 

"And, for this you are mad at me all the time?" 

"That's not why I'm mad at you all the time, Xander." 

"Well, what is it then, Blondie?" 

"Xander, are you stupid?" She walks away from him. 

"I didn't think I was stupid." 

"Well you are. Xander…I tried not to…I did everything I could to get you out of my mind…and, my heart. I can't help it. I can't fight it anymore." 

"I don't even want to fight it anymore." 

"I just have to come out and say it, Xander. I…I love you." 

Xander's heart does a back flip. He gets very nervous. "Oh, Buffy…honey." 

He sits, putting his head down. Buffy didn't know what he would do when she told him but she certainly didn't expect this. 

"Xander, you don't love me anymore? Is it Rachel?" 

"No, Buffy, it's nothing like that. There's one thing I wasn't telling you, Buffy." 

She goes to him. "What is it, Xander?" 

He gets up, walking away from her. "There was a big part of me that was hoping the spell doesn't work. That was part of the reason I offered him out yesterday." 

Buffy shakes her head, letting out a nervous laugh. She goes to him. She looks deep into his eyes. 

"Do you think I don't know that, Xander? He killed the people you love the most. He almost killed me! I didn't think there was any love lost between the two of you. Xander, I don't expect you not to be bitter and angry and to jump at any chance to get at him. I know I'm the reason you haven't gone after him." 

"I also know you're not afraid of him, anymore. You should be but I know you're not. I also know you. You didn't fool me at all. You don't have to apologize because you actually had a thought that might not be purely unselfish." 

"I'll repeat myself because I don't think you heard me the first time. I love you, Xander 'No middle name' Harris!" 

"You are unbelievable, you blond- haired slayer goddess you! If there is one thing anybody could have said in the entire world to lift my burden and pain it was what you just said to me." 

They embrace. Buffy looks at Xander, funny. "Am I to assume that long speech means you love me too?" 

"Honey, if there is anybody in this world who doesn't know I love you they are not paying attention at all." 

They start to kiss but Buffy stops. "I think I wasn't paying attention." 

Xander laughs. "Buffy Anne Summers, I love you with every single fiber of my mind, body and soul. It is not possible for one person to love another any more than I love you." 

The slayer is satisfied. "Now, weren't we in the middle of doing something before all of that corniness?" 

"Listen, slayer, I know you too. The other night, I knew the thing that would really curl your toes was my little poem." 

Not wanting to admit he's right. "You know, I don't like a man who is all words." 

They don't waste any more time talking. 

This kiss is different. All the rest of the kisses they enjoyed were forbidden or stolen. This kiss was meant to be from the beginning of time. It was actually one that placed the planets in perfect alignment with one another. A kiss, which could be, used as one of the proofs for the existence of a heaven. 

The Gods shook hands and hugged. It was about time for a victory. A faint echo of "Buffy and Xander forever" could be heard flowing gently down from the clouds. 

It was a moment of true joy everywhere! 

A union, which spoke to more than just, two people meeting each other. 

Neither can speak when they break. The only thing either knows is they have to get someplace, someplace private where they can continue this conversation. 

"Jesus, Xander, we have to go someplace!" 

"How about my house?" 

"Okay, let's go!" 

Xander grabs Buffy's hand. They start to leave. The whole gang looks at them. It is quite obvious to everyone that they are in the throws of great passion. Giles speaks. 

"I was about to come in to get the two of you. We just have time to go over the plan one more time." 

Buffy speaks up. "Oh, Giles, please?" 

Xander adds. "Can't we be fashionably late?" 

They can tell from the watcher's face that he means business. They look at each other. Xander lets go of Buffy's hand. Buffy grabs his hand back. She pulls the boy down one of the bookshelf aisles. "Count to thirty, Giles, real slow!" 

Buffy wraps her mouth around Xanders in as sensual a way as can possibly be done. They bounce into the books, knocking them off the shelves left and right. This can't possibly be fair. There is so much to be done in so short a period of time. 

There are whole sections of Xander's mouth Buffy has to taste. Whole sections of his body she needs to feel pressed against hers. It is a very tough task but it has got to be done, now!! 

It is getting very embarrassing as more and more books fall off the shelves and their moans get louder. The whole gang is in stitches. Giles looks at Rebecca. "Yes, Giles, I'll get them, you party pooper." 

Rebecca reluctantly stops them. Buffy snaps out of it. This is so unlike her. She couldn't help it, though. As they go back to the meeting she is beat red with embarrassment. Xander is still out of it. 

Giles tries to ignore the antics his two charges. "Xander, are you ready to fight Angelus?" 

Xander has a real funny, mellow look on his face. He half smiles at the watcher. He puts up two fingers in the form of the peace sign. 

"I can't fight anybody, G-man. I'm in love! I'll make peace with him! He's a good guy, deep down." 

Giles can't believe what Xander just said. Everybody else is howling in laughter, even Buffy. 

"Xander, are you okay?" 

Xander doesn't say anything. He just stares at Buffy with a goofy look on his face. 

Giles is getting angry. "Buffy, would you do something!" 

Oz can't resist. "I think she already did something to him, Giles. That's the problem!" 

"Thank you for that, Oz. Xander, will you snap out of it?" 

The boy shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Giles." 

The slayer and the boy wonder try to pay attention but all they can think about is each other. Giles is getting angrier by the minute. 

"Buffy, I find your behavior quite disturbing. Do you realize the seriousness of the task at hand?" 

"Giles, chill, will you? We just now got together." 

The watcher doesn't back down. "Well, then I assume you wish your soul mate over there to make it through this evenings activities. I hardly think what the two of are doing is adequate preparation for the task at hand. You will please refrain from the extracurricular antics!" 

"Giles, is this your way of saying you don't know what's going on with Xander and I?" 

"Buffy, I normally don't interfere with matters of the heart. However, I was under the assumption that part of the reason to get Angel back was so you and he could be together, again?" 

Buffy sits down. She sighs. "I know Giles. But, Xander has been with me from the beginning. He's loved me since the beginning. I don't know how it happened but I never saw him. One day I woke up. That's the only way I can say it." 

"I was only fifteen years old when I first met Angel. He was my security blanket. But, I've grown up. I looked beside me and saw someone who knew what I needed and was willing to give it to me." 

"Besides that, I didn't have much of a choice, Giles. As somebody once told me, he grows on you." 

Xander is insulted. "Thanks, that makes me sound like a wart or something." 

Buffy looks at Xander with a very cute pouting face. She puts her arm in his. "I'm sorry, honey." 

Xander gets up. "Giles, can't I fight him tomorrow? He looks back at Buffy. "Do you know how long I have waited for this woman to look at me like this?" 

Giles has no idea what to do. Rebecca sees his frustration. She gets up, going to Buffy. "Buffy, we have to go." She winks at the slayer. "I'll take you and Xander in my car." 

Everyone leaves the library. That is everyone connected to the Scooby gang. A dark figure still looms on the top level. He takes one of the books from the shelf before exiting via a heating grate. 

Rebecca does not take Xander and Buffy to the cemetery. She takes them to Xander's house. She looks at her watch. 

"We actually have over an hour before we have to be at the cemetery. I seem to be having trouble with my car. I'm sure I can fix it myself in an hour. If there is anywhere you might want to go…" 

They get the message. Our dynamic duo is out of the car in a flash. Buffy speaks for both of them. 

"Oh, thank you, oh, thank you, oh, thank you!" 

They are barely in the door before they continue their now long overdue non-verbal discussion of the millenium. 

The bells chime and the cymbals clang and the congas bong out a rhythm derived from the meeting of all the great lovers of this earth. A single worthy beat of two majestic spirits uniting in a harmony rarely achieved in our age. 

It's a real live hoot! 

Not exactly the proper way to get ready to do battle with an evil super vampire but then again if either of our lovers die tonight they would do so with the knowledge that they have now tasted the honey! 

It might get sweeter at sometime or place but you'd never convince either of our heroes as they lie peaceful and calm, gazing at one another, perfectly contented. 

Xander is sitting on the sofa, while Buffy lies with her head on his lap. He gently strokes her hair as she speaks of their love. 

"Xander, that was truly amazing. I didn't think it was possible to feel this good. Xander, how could I ever have not noticed you? Now that I see you I can't see anything else." 

Xander is just taking in the sight of the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. The fact that she is now his will not sink in for some time. 

The slayer continues her romantic ramblings. 

* * *

"Xander, do you know when I first knew I was in trouble with you? One night when I was trying to keep you out of my heart and mind and soul, I played this little game. I just let you in for a minute, to see what it would feel like. I brought your presence deep into my heart, let you nestle way down inside. Then I let go of you. You stayed. I haven't been able to get rid of you since." 

Xander laughs. "Buff, you talk about being corny..But, beautiful." 

The slayer starts crying. Xander hugs her. 

"What's the matter, Buffy?" 

"Xander, I love you so much! I can't believe it took me this long to see it." 

"Buffy, even as much as I loved you all this time. I fought it, too. I didn't know you loved me." 

"Xander, I know. That was almost as frustrating as anything else was. But, Xander, you were the one who kept loving me. You were the one who made us possible. I'm just so glad you didn't move on, Xander." 

The slayer starts crying, again. "Xander, I caused you so much pain!" 

Xander sits up. He sits Buffy up, also. 

"Listen, Buffy Anne Summers, dry your tears right now. As soon as you said those three little words to me all my pain was gone. Honey, the fact that you love me will keep me pain free for some time." 

"You just don't realize how much I love you, slayer. And, you don't realize what you have done for me by loving me. It's one thing for me to have all these feelings for you. But, now you love me!" 

"Xander, are we going to die now?" 

They both share a nervous laugh. 

"It is almost too good to be true, isn't it?" 

Buffy kneels down in front of Xander. She takes his hands in hers. 

"Xander, we know what your love for me looks like but, I promise you I will show you what my love for you looks like. I promise you it will be everything you think it is and more." 

"Buff, you have to stop. Really, if I think about it too much I won't be able to do what I need to do." 

The reality of what lies ahead for them tonight hits her like a ton of bricks. 

"Oh, Xander, I actually forgot about that." 

Buffy can't help it. She had been keeping herself locked up in a prison of pain and grief. Her heart had been aching for so long. Finally, she saw through it. She found this wonderful person by her side. This wonderful person who lives for her and watches her and loves her. When she opened her heart Xander moved in, took over, set up shop, even. Now they stand before each other ready to love each other but tonight Xander is going to risk his life. 

Buffy speaks to Xander through tears. "Xander, you were going to bring him back for me. I don't want you to do it. I love you. I don't want Angel!" 

Xander walks away from her as she continues. 

"Don't you get it, Xander?" She goes to him. "You don't have to do it anymore, honey." 

"Buffy, yes we do and you know it. As Angel he's not a monster. And, besides…" 

He doesn't finish. Buffy looks at him in shock. She has an idea what he was going to say. 

"Xander, you didn't finish." 

"Come on, Buffy?" 

She goes to him. "Xander, I love you. Didn't I just show you?" 

"But, what about Angel, Buffy, Not Angelus, Angel?" 

"I don't believe it! You don't trust me, do you?" 

"It's..It's not that I don't trust you, Buffy. It's just I know how much he means to you." 

Buffy doesn't know what to say. 

"I'll just feel better when we have him back." 

Buffy is upset. Xander goes to her. "Buffy, I have so much on the line here. Please don't be mad at me. You are it for me, Buffy. You are the one! My search is over." 

Buffy's anger melts as Xander pours out his heart to her. She goes to him. 

"Okay, Xander, but I didn't love Angel one day then love you the next. The feelings I have for you are different than what I felt for Angel. Xander, I can't even describe what I feel for you half the time. It is still happening." 

Xander sighs. "I'll take it Buffy." They embrace in a very passionate kiss. All thoughts are on hold again. It is time for passion and feeling and fierce loco-motion. 

Unfortunately, they both clearly hear Rebecca beeping for them. 

For now their love is on hold. 

For now Buffy and her Romeo must risk their lives in the service of the world. That's just the way they are. 

* * *

Go on to Part Sixteen 

* * *

  
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Buffy and the Slayerettes are Property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. No Copyright Infringement is Intended.


	8. Chapter 16-17

* * *

Part Sixteen: He Knew it Was Too Good To Be True 

* * *

Willow and Oz make a stop at the supply store. Willow is acting weird. Oz can see it right away. It might not be apparent to the naked eye but Oz and Willow are soul mates. The Wolf can pick it up. He questions her. 

"Are you okay, Will?" 

"I'm fine Oz. You wait here." 

She gets out, going to the store. As soon as she is in the door she is met by two vampires. They bring her into the back where Angelus and Drusilla await her. Drusilla hypnotizes her again. Then she leaves. Angelus and Drusilla have a conversation. 

"Make sure the little boy doesn't hurt you before the spell begins, daddy." 

"Dru, you worry too much. He can't hurt me." 

Dru isn't so sure. She can sense that the boy is different. 

Oz is still worried as Willow gets back into the car. He has to ask her. 

"Willow, honey, something is wrong. Are you just nervous?" 

"Nothing is wrong, Oz, just let me alone." 

Oz makes a mental note to mention this to Giles. 

Buffy and Xander ride with Rebecca to the cemetery. Xander stares at the slayer. 

"I can't believe you love me." 

"I know you can't Xander. I probably have for quite some time. You were like a treasure buried deep inside me. I had to dig past an awful lot of stuff to get to you. I just opened the treasure chest. I'm still looking at all the wonderful things inside." 

"That's really nice, Buffy." 

"Xander, I just hope I know how to love you. I'm worried that I don't even know what love is?" 

"Honey, so far you are doing great." 

"I was beginning to think the only thing you and I knew how to do was fight." 

"We certainly went at it, didn't we?" 

"Xander, why didn't you just take me in your arms and kiss me?" 

"You mean like this." He proceeds to do just that? 

"Yes, that would have done it quite nicely." 

Buffy sighs. "Xander, I have a bad feeling about tonight." 

"I know you do. But, I'm not going to let myself get killed, not after this." 

"I've let myself completely fill up with your presence, Xander. It feels so natural. Like it was suppose to be this way." 

"I know what you mean, Buffy. Even though I loved you for a long time I never allowed myself to totally bask in your wonderfulness. But now it feels so right. It's like knowing you've come to the right place inside." 

"I've always been torn and ripped apart inside but the more I felt you in my heart the more I calmed down. Right now I feel like the conflict is gone. The pain is gone, Xander! It's been replaced with your presence." 

He stares at her. "What?" 

"When was this that you calmed down?" 

They share a laugh. "Xander, we'll talk about all of that. How was I suppose to know we were meant to be together?" 

"Buffy, I think you need to take a crash course on yourself." 

"Oh, yea, and who would teach this course?" 

"It's a tough job but I'll volunteer." 

In mock disturbance, "I think I'm insulted." 

The slayer gets serious. "Don't get killed, Xander." 

"Rebecca told me I have a lot going for me." 

"You talk about needing a crash course in yourself." 

Xander gets pensive. Buffy is right. I don't even know what the hell I am, Or, why. 

Buffy sees his discomfort. "Xander, you have had enough to deal with. Don't worry about the other stuff." She fondles his face. "Just don't die fighting Angel. I'll find out all that stuff for you." 

"You will?" 

"Yep, just another side benefit to the whole love thing. I'll tell you all about yourself." 

The slayer looks up at him sheepishly. Of course you'll have to fill in some of the details like, Rachel and Linda and Stacy."

* * *

When Buffy and Xander reach the cemetery the others are there. Cordelia goes to Xander. 

"Xander, I'm sorry I dumped you. It's not because I didn't love you." 

"I know, Cordelia, I'm sorry." They embrace, warmly. "Good luck, honey." 

Oz also goes to Xander. "Man I hope this doesn't mean anything but there's something up with Willow." 

Xander goes to her. "Are you okay, friend?" 

"Don't listen to Oz, I'm fine." 

Giles gives the cruet of potion to Xander. "Good luck, Xander." 

"Thank you G-man." 

Leslie hugs Xander. He can feel her shivering with fright. 

"It's going to be okay, Leslie." 

"I hope you're right." 

Xander talks to Rebecca. "If I can only remember half of what you taught me, Rebecca, I'll be alright." 

"You have a lot going for you, Xander." 

"You keep telling me that. One of these days, Rebecca, you're going to have to tell me exactly what I have going for me." 

Buffy and Xander talk. The boy sees that the slayer is really upset. 

"This is something new for me, Xander. I don't know if I can take it." 

They kiss passionately. Neither of them knows this will be their last for quite some time.

* * *

On the other end of the cemetery the evil bunch enter. Angelus goes over last minute plans. 

"As soon as the slayer and the redhead lose their souls I want Mr. and Mrs. Harris up front. Everybody who means anything to him will be on our side. I love it!" 

Dru can't contain her joy. "Daddy, you are so good!" 

Angelus walks to the middle of the cemetery. When Xander sees him he does the same. 

Rebecca goes to Buffy. 

"Rebecca, if something happens to him…" 

Buffy doesn't finish. Rebecca puts her arm around the slayer. 

Willow comes to Buffy. "Buffy, will you walk up with me once they start fighting." 

The slayer, thinking Willow wants her protection, readily agrees to help. "Of course, Will." 

Angelus comes to Xander. The boy throws him a sword. 

"You do know I'm an expert with these things, don't you?" 

"They tell me I can use it too." Xander takes the cruet out of his pocket. Angelus sees. 

"What is that some kind of courage potion?" 

"Yea, you want some?" He splashes it on the vampire. 

"Are we going to fight or try to drown each other?" 

Angelus comes right at Xander with a straight thrust. It nips his wrist. Xander recovers quickly. He easily fends off Angelus's parry. 

As the fight begins Willow moves closer to them. Buffy comes with her. Willow begins to recite the words of the spell. The evil side to this is the fact that Willow is not reading a soul restoration spell. She is reciting the words to one of Drusilla's dandies. This particular gem will take the soul of anyone who is anointed with the potion, which Willow is now waving in the air. 

The witch spills some on herself and on Buffy while she continues reading. 

Xander is better than Angelus thought. The boy is not fighting like he's waiting for Angelus to be changed. He is fighting as if he's trying to kill him. A twinge of fear comes over the vampire. Xander can sense it, too. 

Willow finishes with the reading. The only one who can tell something is wrong is Oz. He turns to Giles. 

"Giles, something is not right." 

"We have to let them finish, now, Oz!" 

Both Willow and Buffy get stiff. They lose all expression on their faces. They begin to walk toward the combatants. When Xander's mother and father see this they walk toward the boy. 

Angelus sees all this evolving. He stops the battle. 

Xander speaks. "What's the matter, freak, getting a little tired?" 

"Actually, Xander, I am." 

Buffy and Willow come up to them. They stare at Xander, seemingly waiting for orders from whoever has control over them. 

"I was thinking we could make this interesting. Keep it in the family so to speak." 

Oz runs up to Willow to try to talk to her. The redhead punches him. Xander is in shock. Angelus presses his advantage. 

"Let's see. Who shall we have fight you? Your mother or father, no. I know, how about your soul mate." He hands the sword to Buffy. Take him, Buffy." 

When Xander looks into Buffy's eyes he doesn't see the love for him he saw minutes before. He doesn't see his lover and soul mate. He sees emptiness. It is terrifying. More terrifying than anything which has happened to him thus far! 

This Zombie which use to be Buffy starts to swing the sword at Xander. This is almost too much for the boy. 

Rebecca and Giles see what is happening. They know they have to get Xander out of there. Oz has gotten back up but is almost as out of it as Xander. Willow attacks him again. 

In the meantime Buffy has knocked the sword from Xander's hand. She drops her sword. Then she punches him in the mouth. As he sprawls on the ground she kicks him. 

Rebecca knocks Buffy off Xander. Giles takes him. Rebecca then turns her attention to Willow. She is forced to punch the redhead. She gets Oz out of there. 

Buffy and Willow stand by Mr. and Mrs. Harris. Together they laugh. 

They stand there laughing at Xander. His mother and father is one thing. But beside them stands his best friend. 

And, beside her stands Buffy Summers, The woman he loves. The woman who just started loving him. 

The woman who just punched him in the mouth and kicked him. 

Now she is standing beside his chief enemy, doing his bidding. 

Somehow all Xander's mental toughness escapes him. Tears start to fall freely down his cheeks. His insides ache with a pain he has not known before. He has no remedy for it. He is not going to live with Buffy as his enemy. He will give up first. They can have it, all. 

His chin is bleeding. Buffy did it. Xander idly wipes it as he stares at her. 

They just stand there laughing. Angelus has this contented smirk on his face. 

Oz also stares. His attention is, of course, on his Willow. Neither he nor Xander know what to do. They don't even know what happened. 

Cordelia is crying. Leslie is frozen. Rebecca and Giles know they have to do something. If Angelus decides to send his charges after them now it would be a disaster. 

The watcher is the first to move. "Rebecca, Cordelia and I will get Oz. You and Leslie get Xander." 

Xander and Oz are led to the cars. No one says a word on the ride to Giles house. No one knows what to say. 

Giles and Rebecca make everyone tea. "Rupert, the things these kids have to go through is absolutely frightening. They just got together." 

"This is my fault, Rebecca. They must have spied on us at the library. It was very careless." 

"Look, Rupert, we're not CIA agents. We do what we can." 

"How much can that boy take?" 

"And, now, Oz." 

Rebecca and Giles bring the tea to the rest. 

Oz looks at Giles. No one has asked the obvious question as of yet. 

"Giles, are they Vampires?" 

"No, Oz, I don't think so. They weren't bitten." 

Xander jumps right in. "What are they then, Giles?" 

"I'll have to do some research, Xander, but it would appear to be a spell. Likely one of Drusilla's concoctions." 

"Buffy had nothing in her eyes. She was like a Zombie." 

Rebecca adds. "They were both doing whatever Angelus told them to do." 

Xander is trying to block out the horror so he can formulate a plan. Both Giles and Rebecca notice. The watcher speaks up. 

"Xander, I know your first inclination will be to attack Angelus and Drusilla but I urge you to consider all the possibilities, first. If you go after them you will likely have to face…" 

Xander interrupts. "I know, Giles, but I'm not going to sit on my ass while Angelus screws around with…" 

He can't finish. Oz chimes in. "And, I'm not either! Xander, how about your underground connections?" 

"It's worth a try, Oz. Giles, how about if we try to get some information?" 

"Yes, it would be better if the two of you were elsewhere actually." 

Xander looks at Leslie. "Leslie, would you be up for a trip?" 

Surprised that Xander wants her for this. "Xander, are you sure I could help?" 

"Definitely, Leslie." 

"Will it be dangerous?" 

"We will be with you the whole time, Leslie." 

She looks at Rebecca and Giles who don't seem to have any objections. 

"Okay, Xander, I'll go." 

"Let's leave tomorrow evening."

* * *

Xander goes to his house. He senses a presence as he enters the door. It is Buffy. Before he can even catch his breath she swings a sword at him. He manages to dive out of the way. He gets up in horror. He has to try to reach her. 

"Buffy, I know you are under a spell but, look at me. Look into my eyes." 

For a few seconds Buffy is very tentative. Despite the spell she seems to know deep down something is wrong. 

"Buffy, it's me, Xander. We are soul mates, Buffy. We just got together, honey." 

Buffy lowers the sword for a second but something kicks in removing the expression of confusion from her face. She swings it toward Xander, again. He jumps for under the sofa, picking up the spare sword he always keeps there. He blocks her parries. 

Xander is getting very nervous as he struggles to block her thrusts. He has to get away, get back outside. The shock of watching the woman he loves trying to kill him is really getting to him. 

He cannot fight her. This is the first reality, which comes upon him. He can't do it! Even if it means his own life he can't fight her. His only chance is to get away. 

Luckily, Buffy is not her same sharp self while under this spell. He maneuvers himself toward the front door. He makes a move to open it. All goes well until he trips, as he is about to leave. 

He lies there for a moment, Buffy looming over top of him with the sword raised. 

"Buffy, don't." 

When the slayer hears his voice she again pauses. 

But, only for a few seconds. She raises the weapon, again. This time she brings it down with sudden fury! 

The pause was all Xander needed to dive out the opening as the sword clangs on the concrete of the door stoop. He runs at top speed away from the house. 

Now he is completely lost. She was going to kill him. 

Buffy was going to kill him! 

His only solace was how she paused when he spoke to her. Despite the spell Xander could reach her. 

"God damn, Angelus! I will kill you, you bastard!"

* * *

Part Seventeen: It'S Time To Head To the Hills, Baby 

* * *

Xander wanders around down town. He has never felt like this. All the other times there was something for him to fall back on. This time there is nothing. 

He sits down on a bench. He doesn't even try to control the tears. They flow freely down his cheeks. The boy can feel the life flowing out of him with each drop. 

Someone approaches him. He doesn't even notice her. It is the one person he has left. The one person who can perhaps save him. She sits down beside him. 

When Xander sees who it is he practically collapses into her arms. 

"Rachel!" He says her name as if she appeared out of nowhere. In all his grief he had forgotten about the one person, other than his Buffy, who could make the sun rise for him. 

This latter fact was quite ironic since she couldn't be in the sunshine herself. But then again everything about Rachel was full of irony and contradiction and wonder. 

Rachel holds Xander in concern and fear. She has never seen him this vulnerable. It breaks her heart. But, it also brings her solace that he seems to feel comfort in her presence. 

"Xander, it is very dangerous for you to be out right now." 

She takes him by the hand. They walk to her apartment. She fixes him some tea. 

"Rachel, she tried to kill me." 

"I'm sorry, Xander." 

Rachel watches Xander grieve. It is the worst pain she has ever experienced. He can't possibly have to have this much pain in his life. 

The Vampire Queen would do anything in her power to relieve his pain. She loves him. More than she ever loved Angel, more than she has ever loved anyone. 

She had been staying away from him because she didn't want to cause trouble between he and the slayer. Rachel knows Buffy can sense her feelings for Xander. She can also sense his feelings for her. 

She swore she would stay out of his life. Real love means you do what is best for the person you love. But she also knew he would be hurting. She knew he would need someone. 

Hell, she can make him feel better. She knows him. Why should she stay away now? He needs her. She goes to him. She takes him in her arms. She has him lie on the sofa with his head on her lap. She strokes his hair. 

"I don't know what to say to you, Xander. I am so sorry." 

Xander looks up at her. "Rachel, you always come to me when I need you." 

The boy continues. "I..I didn't want to bother you since Buffy and I…" 

"You don't have to say it, Xander, I know." 

"I also don't want to endanger you any more than I already have. I worry about you all the time, Rachel." 

Rachel shakes her head. "Xander, remember I have lived a very long time in this world." 

"That's true, Rachel, but you were hanging around Angel for a good part of that. Being associated with him kept a lot of heat off you." 

Rachel thinks about this for a minute. "I see you've done a lot of thinking about this, my young friend and lover." 

"Yes, a lot!" 

"Look, Xander, we weren't talking about me. This is about you. Now, grieve in peace and allow me to offer what comfort I can give you. You are much too young to have all the burden of the world on your shoulders." 

"Rachel, you once told me that you were a very patient woman and that there would be a time for us. What did you mean?" 

"You know you are a special person, Xander." 

"Yea, everybody tells me that, but how?" 

"All I know really, Xander is that you are "One Of Them." 

"Which means?" 

"The woman who has joined your group, Rebecca, you and her are the same." 

Xander doesn't press it any more. He looks up at Rachel. 

"You know, sometimes I want to just grab you and head for the hills, Rachel." 

"Head for the hills?" 

"It means just take off, you and I." He gets up, putting his arm around her shoulder. 

"We're compatible, Rachel. Think big. We'll go on a world wind tour of all the most romantic places the world has to offer. We could make love on top of the Eiffel Tower, in the catacombs of Rome, on a yacht in the French Riviera." 

"We could sleep all day and party all night. I'll gaze at your beauty, constantly showering you with the poetry it inspires." 

"Hell, we're even compatible on the dance floor. We'll join all the big dance contests across the world. We're so damn cute together we'll win half of them on our looks alone." 

Rachel can't help but laugh. Xander doesn't realize just how appealing this proposition sounds to her. But, she has to ask him the big question. 

"Xander, my crazy friend, do you think you could forget Buffy?" 

He ignores her question. "Rachel think of the beautiful music we could play together?" 

"Xander, you didn't answer my question." 

He kneels down in front of her, taking her hands in his. "We could last for a really long time." He begins to fondle her face. She stops him. She stands up, walking away from him. 

"Xander, you are in a lot of pain right now. I don't want to get mad at you but, when you come on this strong with me I can't help it." 

"I love you, Xander, more than I have ever loved anyone. I couldn't take it if you didn't feel the same way toward me. I know you have feelings for me. I know they are strong, too. But, as much as I don't want to admit it you are meant to be with Buffy. She burns inside your heart, Xander. And, now that she has admitted the same to you, it is as it should be for now." 

"Everyone who knows the two of you says the same thing." 

"Now, allow me to comfort you so you can complete whatever plan it is you have to get her back." 

Xander is crying, this time for Rachel. How is it possible for there to be a woman of such unbelievable goodness and beauty in love with him. And, how is it possible for him to be in love with another? 

But, Rachel is right. He loves Buffy Anne Summers and he is going to get her back no matter what he has to do. 

They deserve a chance. She deserves a chance. She just got over the pain of Angel. Then, after has a few brief moments of happiness, the son of a bitch has her again! 

Xander goes to Rachel. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to hurt you. I have very few reasons to wake up in the morning. The fact that you are my friend is one of them." 

"Please forgive me." 

"I do Xander. I am not hurt by your presence. I feel your friendship and even your love. If in my heart I didn't know you and the slayer were destined to be together right now, you and I would be looking down from the Eiffel Tower by night fall." 

"Now go with my love and my blessing." 

"Can Vampire Queens actually give a blessing?" 

Rachel, laughing, "I'm going to get you for that the next time I see you!" 

They embrace very lovingly. 

* * *

Cordelia goes with Oz to his house to get some supplies for the trip. They have to pass a small wooded area on the way. When they get there Willow jumps out at them. She has a baseball bat. She swings it at Oz's head. Only a last second jolt from Cordelia saves the werewolf from great bodily harm. 

The jolt knocks Willow up against a wooden fence. She is too stunned to follow them as they run to the house. 

"Thank you, Cordelia, I froze back there." 

"It's okay, Oz, I just hope she doesn't hold it against me when we get her back." 

Everyone meets at Rebecca's house; it being the only place neither Buffy nor Willow has ever visited. 

Xander and Oz run down the horrors of being attacked by their respective heartthrobs. 

Giles has done some research. "We are dealing with a very dangerous situation. There are probably two people involved in the casting of this particular type of spell. I have found nothing concerning the breaking of the spell." 

Xander goes to Leslie. "Are you ready?" 

"Yes, let's go." 

The threesome head out to Linda's house in the woods. The blond haired sorceress is always glad to see Xander and friends although his visits normally mean trouble. She answers the door with her usual flair. 

"Well, Xander Harris." They hug warmly. "And, let me see who we have with us today." 

Turning to Oz "Are you the famous wolf boy?" 

"I didn't know I was so well known." She puts her arm around Oz. 

"You certainly are cute. I see you have your good hair today." 

Xander intervenes. "Linda, I hate to tell you but, this is Oz, as in Willow and Oz. In fact that is why we are here." 

"I know, Xander. But, when are you going to bring somebody around who isn't taken. You know I depend on you for my social life." 

"I'm sorry, Linda. Someday I'll come just for a social visit." 

Linda goes to Leslie. "You're new but I already know the slayer doesn't like you. I forget your name." 

"It's Leslie." 

"And you can manipulate standing objects, directing them as well." 

"Yes." 

"That's very rare, Leslie. I'll have to do a thorough study of your powers, if you don't mind?" 

"No, I would welcome that, in fact." 

Xander and Oz run down the story for Linda. She already knew most of it. 

"Xander, that is a pretty sophisticated spell. We might have to go see Meldrick." 

"There's a name I didn't want to hear. As long as I don't have to fi…" 

Linda interrupts him. "Of course, you'll probably have to fight him." 

"I knew you were going to say that." 

"It won't be so bad. I heard he likes you." 

Oz is curious. "Who is Meldrick?" 

Xander answers. "Some great magician guy who thinks he was around during the days of King Arthur." 

Linda calls Stacy. The shapely brunet looks over the guests. 

"Well, this has to be Oz." Turning toward Leslie. "You have to be the bar maid." 

She laughs. Stacy looks at Xander. "And you must be the damn fool on yet another mission to save the slayer. What happened to Rachel? We decided you two belong together." 

"Hello, Stacy." 

Hugging him, "I'm sorry, Xander, we'll try to stay out of your business. We are very sorry about the slayer and Willow." 

Linda speaks. "Stace, we have to go see your favorite magician." 

"Well, the old coot better see us this time. He owes me one." 

Stacy looks at Xander. "You'll still have to fight to get us in to see him." 

"I love the way you two say that. Like it's the most natural thing in the world." 

Linda puts her arm around him. "We have full confidence in you, Boy Wonder." 

Xander looks at her sheepishly. "And, yes, I will give you a new supply of the good stuff. The wine of the Gods." 

"You are indeed great, Linda. Some day you'll tell me how it's made?" 

"If I did that you'd never come to visit me." 

The next morning our heroes start off to Meldrick's place, deep in the mountains. 

After driving and hiking for most of the day they arrive at a huge lake. In the middle of the lake sits a building. This is the top of Meldricks mostly underground hide-a-way. 

Xander looks out. "How do we reach him?" 

"This is where you're going to have to fight something or, pass some kind of test." 

They hear a loud roar, a very loud roar. Out of the woods behind them comes this oh so large behemoth. 

It possesses two heads. Both have very nasty looking fangs. The rest of it is built like a very huge man. It has to be at least eight feet tall. Two huge three fingered claws complete the ensemble. It is quite formidable. 

Oz reacts. "Xander, are you sure we have to tangle with this thing?" 

He looks back to Linda and Stacy. They have their mouths open. 

Xander grabs a sword. Oz opts for the crossbow. They circle it very slowly. 

Oz strikes first, ripping an arrow to one of its necks. Roaring in pain it rushes the wolf. It picks him up despite the presence of Xander slicing at its back. 

It throws Oz into the water. Xander scores a direct hit to one of the beast's heads. It recovers to whack him across the face with its claw. The boy flies back. 

Oz has recovered and reloaded. He scores another hit. When the monster turns to face him Xander comes from the other side of it. With as much power as he can muster he lands the sword to one of the heads, just below the neck. He severs it. 

The beast screams in pain. Oz takes this opportunity to bury another arrow into it. 

Xander hits it in one of the legs, causing the beast to buckle over. He then rams the sword to the chest of it, getting it as deep as possible. 

The beast topples over, dead. Xander and Oz collapse from exhaustion. 

Linda, Stacy and Leslie go to them. 

"Our heroes." 

When they look up there is an old man in a canoe approaching the shore. He comes to them. Stacy speaks. 

"Meldrick, wasn't that a bit much?" 

"That thing wasn't from me. That was Crotar. You know, the Vampire monster. He was keeping me prisoner here for the past month." 

He looks at Xander and Oz. 

"I owe you one." 

Linda and Stacy are impressed. They have always wanted an "in" with Meldrick. Perhaps this is their chance. 

"Would you like to come to my humble abode?" 

Everybody nods. 

Meldrick actually enjoys their company. Linda has him roaring half the night. 

Xander approaches him with the reason for the visit. 

"Meldrick, did I hear you say you owed us one?" 

The old man knows immediately what Xander wants. 

"I'm afraid you will have to kill the one who is controlling them. It will be very difficult since the two who are controlled will defend that person to the death." 

Xander and Oz look at each other in despair. "Shit!" 

Xander has a question for Meldrick. "Meldrick, what do you think of my chances of making a deal with Spike for Angel?" 

Meldrick ponders this for a moment. "Tell him you killed Coltar. Spike had a few bad run-ins with him. It might work." 

Acting very out of character, Meldrick invites our friends to spend the night. 

"The one major inconvenience is the out house." Meldrick points to a small building clear on the other shore. 

Leslie talks "You mean you have no indoor plumbing? What do you do in the winter?" 

"Summer, winter, the same thing. I'm getting too damn old for those three o'clock in the morning trips." 

Our friends get an idea. Xander talks to Leslie. "Leslie, can you lift heavy objects?" 

"I don't think the weight matters." 

"Meldrick I think we can solve your problem for you."

* * *

Using Leslie's power they move the entire out house inside, complete with heat and septic tank. When Meldrick sees this he is overwhelmed. 

"You guys must want to see an old man cry. How did you do it?" 

"Thanks to Leslie here we were able to transport the whole thing up here." 

Meldrick gives Leslie a great big kiss. 

They spend the rest of the night partying. Meldrick tells Linda and Stacy he will teach them everything he knows. He extends to everyone an open invitation to visit him at any time. 

To Leslie he pledges help whenever needed. 

Xander and Oz do not have their hearts in the party. Their pain is too much at present. 

"Xander, I can't hurt Willow." 

"I know, Oz, I couldn't hit Buffy, either. She was going to kill me but I couldn't hit her. We need help. We have one more stop to make, tomorrow." 

The next morning the gang bids Meldrick adieu. Linda and Stacy go home. Xander, Oz and Leslie go to visit Willie. 

"Boy wonder, what can I do for you?" 

"You owe me one, right." 

"Don't say that so loud." 

"Can you get me a meeting with Spike?" 

"Can you wait?" 

"We have nothing but time." Willie leaves. Xander turns to Leslie. 

"No smiles on this one, Leslie." 

Xander goes behind the bar. He pulls out four very long and sharp knives. He hands them to Leslie. He points in the direction of the dartboard. 

"Leslie, when Spike comes I want you to suspend these knives in the air and one by one heave them into the dart board. And look mean and nasty while you're doing it." 

Leslie looks at him wide-eyed. He goes to her. 

"Leslie, I'm scared too, honey. But, you can do it if you concentrate." 

She practices. 

About half an hour later Willie comes back. Two vamps are with him. They just stare at Leslie. 

Spike comes behind them. He watches Leslie. She gets all four within the bull's eye. Spike looks at Xander. 

"Where did you pick her up?" 

"In a bar." 

The blond vampire has to laugh. "What do you want, Harris? It better be good." 

Xander, in as bad ass a way as he can muster, "I have a winning proposition for you. I want to tangle with your sire." 

"So, tangle with him, bloke." 

"Wait a minute, Spike, I know you hate the bastard, too. It's no secret, him and Dru." 

Spike thinks on this a minute. "What do you want out of me?" 

"If you could just occupy the slayer until it is over." 

Spike laughs, shaking his head. "You want me to occupy your heartthrob, the slayer, so you can kill her ex? Did the term ironic ever occur to you, mate?" 

Xander opens his pack. He pulls out a bottle of wine. He throws it to the vampire. 

"Taste it." He does. He is duly impressed. 

"Where the hell did you get this shit, Harris?" 

"There's more where that came from, Spike. By the way we took care of another mutual enemy on the way here. You ever hear of a beast by the name of Coltar?" 

"The vampire monster?" 

"Yep, no more!" 

"You killed Coltar? Well, I'll be damned, Harris." He stares at Xander for a minute. 

"I guess the worst that could happen is you get killed." 

"I told you it was a winning proposition." 

"The minute one of you is dead I'm out of there. I'm not going to deal with the slayer in a pissed off mood." 

"Sounds good." 

Spike starts to leave but stops. "Harris, I hope it's you still standing when it's over." 

"Well, Spike, I didn't know you cared?" 

Taking a big swig of the wine, "Anybody who can get shit this good deserves to live for a little while anyway." 

"I'll take that as a life security statement. I can tell the gang I now have friends in low places." 

"You are funny, Harris. We'll keep you alive for the bloody comedy." 

He and the other vamps leave. 

Xander and the others leave also. 

Once outside they let out a collective sigh of relief. 

Xander looks at Leslie. "Honey, you were perfect." 

"I was never so scared in my whole life. Xander, your life is impossible. We go from one heavy, life threatening situation to another." 

"And, think about it, Leslie, this was the easy part." 

Oz goes back to Giles house. Xander and Leslie spend some time together. 

"Xander, aren't you afraid of dying when you face Angelus?" 

"You want to know my worst fear?" 

She nods. 

"I'm afraid Buffy is going to kill my love for her." 

"You mean when she tries to defend Angelus?" 

"Yea, I'm afraid she's really going to hurt me." 

Xander starts to well up. Leslie goes to him. 

"That is awful, Xander. I'm so sorry."

1 

* * *

Buffy and Willow lie sleeping on a concrete floor surrounded by prison bars. 

They jerk and twist as their spirits wrestle with the spell-induced cloud of numbness. 

The slayer dreams. 

She is in a fog-shrouded room. She has something heavy and cumbersome in her hand. 

It is a sword. She is raising it into the air. She can feel herself putting all her power into swinging it toward the ground. Someone is lying at her feet. 

It is Xander. She is swinging the sword at Xander! 

Oh my God. Please, no! Xander! 

She wakes up in terror screaming his name. "Xander!" 

She looks around. Soon her head slowly drifts back to the concrete.

* * *

The next day they have a meeting at Rebecca's house. In addition to Giles and Rebecca, Leslie, Oz, Cordelia and Xander are there. Giles is skeptical about the Spike connection. 

"Xander, Spike has agreed to occupy Buffy while you tangle with Angelus?" 

"Yes." 

May I ask how you got him to agree to such a proposition?" 

"He hates Angelus because of the whole Dru thing." 

"The whole Dru Thing?" 

Cordelia answers. "Giles, Angelus fools around with Drusilla. Spike is jealous." 

"Thank you, Cordelia. "Rebecca and I will deal with Willow. Perhaps we should try this as early as tomorrow night." 

Oz feels he has to speak. 

"I would like second dibs on Angelus." 

Both Giles and Rebecca cringe but remain silent. Cordelia speaks up. 

"So, that means we may lose the both of you plus, have to deal with your soul mates?" 

Rebecca adds. "That is a legitimate worry. Oz, you and Xander may feel you have to do this but you must know we will be left to deal with your mistakes. Anger isn't going to get the job done. It may fuel you for a few minutes but it is very limited." 

Xander questions his teacher. 

"What are you saying, Rebecca?" 

"At some point we may have to cut our loses and take measures to get as many of us as possible to safety." 

"Which means you will sacrifice Buffy and Willow?" 

"Xander, the Hellmouth is still open." 

Xander closes his eyes. Rebecca is talking about survival for the next battle. He wonders how many friends she has buried in her lifetime? 

I am not burying Buffy or Willow! I don't care how many slayers there have been throughout history. 

Buffy is not dying, God damn it! 

* * *

Xander gets the message to Spike. He brings the crowd to the cemetery. 

Xander looks for Angelus. When he sees the vampire he starts to go to him. Buffy immediately steps in front of Angelus assuming a protective stance. Xander is not going to allow Angelus the satisfaction of seeing him upset. 

"Damn, Angelus, I really get the idea you're afraid of me. Every time I come to fight you have all these up front people." He looks at his father. "Hey, dad, I'm trying to fight the guy. He keeps ducking me. He says it's to try to terrorize me but I think he's afraid to face me. What do you think?" 

Mr. Harris takes the bait. "I think you would be an easy mark for him." 

"How about you, mom, what do you think?" 

She looks at Angelus. "Why don't you shut his smart ass mouth up, Angelus?" 

"I agree with mom. Let's go freak!" 

Angelus hesitates but Xander has put the vampire in an awkward position. He almost has to fight him to save face. When Xander makes a move for him both Buffy and Willow step toward him. 

Xander has to catch his breath as his best friend and his heartthrob prepares to defend Angelus to the death. 

Spike moves in front of Buffy with four fellow vamps. Giles and Rebecca go to Willow. Giles sticks a needle in her arm. She collapses on the ground. 

Angelus was unprepared for this but he recovers quickly. 

"Okay, boy, it's about time to end your run." 

Angelus punches Xander in the mouth. The boy falls but quickly jumps up. His lip is bleeding. Angelus gets confident. 

"This might be easy." 

Xander flies at him with a spin kick. It falls short. Angel punches him again. When the vampire tries to follow up Xander kicks his legs out. They both jump back up. 

Angelus lands a kick to the chest. Xander draws blood on the vampire with an elbow to his chin. The boy wonder then hits him solidly with a sidekick to the head. 

Neither can get an advantage for the next couple of minutes until Angelus picks up a tree branch, hitting Xander to the back with it. The boy hits the ground hard rolling on the grass. 

When he gets up he reaches to his pocket pulling out a wide mouthed bottle of holy water. He flings it to the face of Angelus, as the vampire is about to pounce on him. 

As the daemon screams in agony Xander clears his head. 

Angelus misses with a wild swing. Xander kicks him point blank in the groin. 

Buffy is fighting furiously. She has dusted three of the four vampires Spike put on her. The blond vampire is getting impatient. He really doesn't want to tangle with her himself. 

Angelus is beginning to fear his worst nightmare may be coming true. 

The bastard has been on a major campaign to terrorize, weaken and break Xander for quite some time now. He has personally orchestrated every move of its operation. This had been the most extensive effort he has ever launched against anyone in his long, horrific and bloody reign. 

Subtracting the pitiful time he spent as that guilt-ridden wimp, Angel, Angelus has had one of the most storied regimes of murder, pillage and destruction the world has ever seen. 

No one has been able to stop him. The humans were always so pitiful with their emotions and their weak minds. 

The super vampire had put everything he had into this one. He ridiculed Xander for his pitiful love for the slayer, calling him her white knight. He even used Buffy's love for Angel against the boy. Then he brutally killed his parents and set up that grisly scene at his house. He turned them into vampires. 

Then, the epitome. Just after the slayer finally found Xander beating in her heart, he found a way to take her from him. He found a way to make her turn on him. 

But, a very strange phenomenon occurred. Xander didn't crack. He didn't fall apart. He didn't whimper for mercy. 

He stood up to it all, took it in, used it as fuel. 

Now, Xander stood toe to toe with the bloodsucker. He stood eye to eye with him without blinking. 

For the first time in his monstrous life Angelus had fear in his heart. Not because the boy in front of him was stronger, he wasn't. Not because he was quicker or faster than the vampire. 

He was afraid because Xander had gobbled up every ounce of terror Angelus had thrown his way and was now ready to spit it back in the vampire's face with a fury and a righteous, which literally scared the hell out of him! 

Xander launches a spin kick, which catches Angelus square in the jaw, causing him to collide violently with the ground. Before the vampire can recover Xander comes down on the back of his head with a rock. 

Angelus has to use all his remaining strength to kick Xander in the chest as he attempts a follow. Blood spurts from the wound as the boy staggers backward. 

But, Xander is relentless. He lands a straight kick to his chest. Angelus counters with a punch to the jaw, which brings Xander to one knee. The vampire rushes him but is met with a stiff palm to the bridge of the nose. He howls as he feels the bones crack from the impact. 

The boy wonder follows with a kick to the groin, which thrusts Angelus forward. Xander pulls a cross from his pocket. He presses it firmly into the vampire's back. The smoke briefly clouds the air around them as it burns into his skin. 

Xander then uppercuts him. He follows with a vicious spin kick, knocking the vampire on his ass. 

Xander has him now! He knows it but his rage is still in full flow. He picks Angelus up by his hair, viciously driving his head back to the ground with his foot. He repeats it once, then, again. 

When the rest of the gang sees Xander prolonging the fight, they react. 

Oz calls to him. "Xander, stop playing with him! Finish it!" 

Giles chimes in. "End it, now, Xander!" 

Spike is now battling with Buffy. As soon as he sees Xander raising the stake over Angelus's heart he pulls out. He takes Drusilla with him. Mr. and Mrs. Harris soon follow. 

Xander plunges the stake to the heart of Angelus. He stares in disgust as the evil one explodes to ashes. 

He has no time to celebrate as he is met with a swift kick to his ribs. 

It is the slayer doing as programmed. 

Oz runs to his defense but is quickly dispatched by Buffy. 

The slayer chops at Xander's face re-opening a cut Angelus had inflicted. 

Xander is almost helpless in front of her. She connects with his face, again, before Oz, Rebecca and Giles rush to try to restrain her. 

The last thing Xander sees before he passes out is the woman he loves trying to kill him. 

Did Angelus win, after all? 

Buffy struggles to get away. She nails Oz again. Rebecca is finally able to restrain her on the ground. After a minute or so Buffy stops struggling. She gets very stiff. 

Rebecca gets up. 

The slayer lies there staring in confusion at the three people in front of her. 

Suddenly her features tighten as events start to flood back into her consciousness. The slayer gasps in horror. 

"Xander!" 

She jumps up, looking around in panic. Her gaze falls on a form lying on the ground near her. She approaches slowly. 

Buffy is not ready for what she sees. It is Xander lying there unconscious, blood all over his face and chest. Dirt had mixed in with the blood to give the impression that a wild animal had mauled him. 

She starts to run for him but is met by the strong embrace of Rebecca. 

"Don't look at him right now, Buffy!" 

"But I have to it's…" 

She freezes as a portion of her memory starts to filter back to her. 

"Rebecca, I did that, didn't I?" 

"You were under a spell, Buffy." 

All the slayer can do is bury herself in Rebecca's shoulder. Her tears get heavier as she remembers more. 

Leslie and Cordelia help Giles to get Xander to the car. He needs medical attention. 

Oz goes to Willow. She is waking up from the knockout drops Giles administered to her. 

"Oz I had this very bad dream." She has no idea where she is or what is going on. She just follows Oz. 

"It was really bad. I hit you and everything." 

"It's okay now, honey, you're awake."

* * *

Buffy lies on her bed sobbing into her pillow. Her pain is complete. It's a total package. There is no part of her that is not in agony. 

Buffy is a person use to pain. She is the slayer. She wears pain as her daily wardrobe. When she says she is in total pain she knows what she is talking about. 

The most ironic part of the whole affair is that none of her agony has to do with the fact that Angel is dead. The only lingering heartache is that Angelus, in addition to destroying Angel, may have ruined her relationship with her true love, Xander Harris. 

She now has full recollection of the entire past week. She wished to hell she didn't. 

Xander has been around since the beginning. From the very first day she came to Sunnydale High School he was there for her and with her. For close to three years she overlooked him. 

She can't believe it. He was totally in love with her. All she had to do was pay attention. But, she had her Angel. All of a sudden she doesn't get warm and fuzzy inside when she thinks of her time with the vampire. She was like Linus of the Peanuts cartoon. Angel was her security blanket. 

When she looks at it now, her relationship with him blocked her from seeing Xander. 

She could have had him for the asking. 

By the time she did start to notice he was in the midst of becoming what he is now. He is, by far, the best man Buffy knows. He embodies everything the slayer considers good in a person. 

In addition to wanting him and needing him, Buffy feels this connection to Xander which, she can't understand. It scared her from the beginning. She couldn't help fighting it. 

She couldn't help fighting him. 

The connection doesn't make her feel sad. That's not it at all. Xander never made her feel sad. 

When she looks into Xander's eyes she sees love and concern and caring but she also sees his dedication to the cause. A dedication to fight the battles which need fighting and to confront the evil which needs confronting. 

He has learned her life. He has it down. All of his energy is now devoted to helping her in any way possible. He has connections in the underground, he makes deals with one daemon to get another. 

In short, he is relentless. No kid games, no screw-ups, no wasted motion. 

She knows in her heart he does it for her but it requires her to move to the next level. 

It is exciting and scary at the same time. Xander seems to know everything she needs. She knows it really hurt him to stand toe to toe with her, slugging it out every time she had a brat attack, as Xander was fond of calling them. 

The main problem with Xander now is the competition. This really scares her. 

Rachel really scares her. She is sweet and kind and generous and, totally in love with Xander. He really likes her, too. 

Buffy knows he doesn't love Rachel the way he loves her but she is still jealous. 

And then there is Cordelia. The gorgeous brunet has turned into a competent and compassionate woman. She is also still in love with Xander. He was the one who changed her. 

Then, of course, there is the barmaid, Leslie. The older woman who has some bond with the man she loves, also. 

It is not like Xander has to choose Buffy. He certainly has his pick of some very good woman, none of whom have ever hit him or tried to kill him or even rejected him. 

This is the point where the total pain takes over. Xander is in a coma. He was put in a coma by a combination of Angelus and her. The same Angelus she allowed to kill his parents and turn them into vampires. 

How could she ever expect him to still love her? She cannot expect it to happen. 

Right now her main concern is not whether Xander Lavelle Harris still loves her. Her main concern is that he wakes up. 

"Please, God, let him wake up." 

Buffy does not want Xander to see her. She is too afraid it will put him back in shock. It is killing her to stay away but it is best thing to do right now. She doesn't want him to have to make a decision about her as soon as he wakes up. 

She knows Xander. His wounds are not what have him in the coma. It was seeing her ready to kill him. 

The slayer goes back to sobbing.

* * *

Go on to Part Eighteen 

* * *

  
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	9. Chapter 18

* * *

Part Eighteen: Not Much of an Ending 

* * *

Everyone is in a funk. Willow can't forgive herself for hitting Oz even though he is quite willing to forget it. 

Of course, Willow doesn't pack a slayer's wallop. Oz will have no scars from her. 

Buffy is really trying to function. She has gone back to school. She still does patrol. But, she is only going through the motions. 

Rebecca tries to help. She takes the slayer out to dinner. She decides to tell her about the boy/man she loves. 

"Buffy, do you want to know more about the wonderful person your heart has chosen for a soul mate?" 

The slayer perks up. 

"He is even more special than you think. Those two vampires were never his parents to begin with. It is too late to ask them the details of his adoption." 

"He was probably born of a similar union as myself." 

Buffy's eyes widen at this statement. 

"He and I are the same, Buffy. I'm sure you picked up the bond between us. And, if I was feeling my stares correctly, you didn't exactly like it." 

Rebecca and Buffy share a laugh. 

"I'm sorry, Rebecca." 

"It's okay, Buffy. I know he has certainly been attracting some very intimidating women lately." 

"Tell me about it!" 

"Any way, none of us know our real parents but, usually they consist of one very special human and "One Of Them." It is a very particular union and it is always for a purpose. Most of us, I'm sad to say, turn to evil. It is so much more attractive than doing good. That's why I'm so glad I am here for Xander. I think my purpose now is to make sure he stays on the right track." 

"And, that right track, Buffy, is with you." 

"Thank you, Rebecca." 

"Xander has found his purpose. He did it on his own, which is very impressive." 

"Helping me?" 

"Yes." 

"There are various powers which go along with what we are. They are usually specific to our purpose. Xander has been acquiring the talents necessary to assist you." 

"Yea, I'll say. All of a sudden he can slay with the best of them. I still can't believe he took Angelus." 

"I was very surprised at that myself. Angelus was so terrible." 

"Buffy, there are some very grave dangers for Xander and myself." 

"I knew that was coming next." 

"Carla is also one of us. If she thought Xander was a threat to her she would go after him in a minute. He would not beat her." 

There are also others. With Xander's reputation I think he will attract much unwanted activity in his direction. He's much too young for it." 

"Now you're scaring me, Rebecca." 

"I'm sorry but there are bounty hunters for us, also. Having "One Of Them" as a notch on your belt is very prestigious." 

Not wishing to dwell on Xander's dangerous birthright. 

"So maybe Xander was born to be with me?" 

"Doesn't that sound really romantic?" 

Buffy has to laugh. "You really like us as a couple, don't you?" 

"Buffy, I have never seen two people as thrilling as you and Xander. You tried so hard not to get together. I'm sure the struggle is not over, yet. But, no matter what either of you did you couldn't avoid being in love." 

"Rebecca, Xander seems to have some sort of healing power. Does it work for a coma, too?" 

Rebecca gets very sad. She doesn't want to talk about it but Buffy has to know. 

"Rebecca, I love Xander. I want to know the bad stuff, too." 

"Buffy, I swear he is keeping himself in that coma! It's almost as if he is willing himself to stay unconscious." 

Buffy knows the rest. "Because he can't get over what happened, right? He is fighting within himself about me?" 

"Buffy, I'm so sorry." 

The slayer begins to cry. She now knows exactly what is going to happen. Xander will come out of the coma. He will come out of the coma because he has to watch her back, try to protect her. But, he will not be able to stay with her. He will not be able to get past the pain. 

"God Damn Hellmouth!" 

Rebecca looks at Buffy with as much compassion as she can muster. 

"Buffy, maybe it is the time for you to stand up to him. Don't take this lying down. Be compassionate but don't give up on him. You are a match for him emotionally." 

"Fight for him, Buffy. He still loves you. I know he does. 

"I hope I can do that, Rebecca." 

"Look, he thinks he's so mysterious but you have him figured out. He'll do whatever he has to do to protect the slayer. That is a start, Buffy. He won't abandon you." 

"Rebecca, do you think he'll ever be able to…" 

She can't finish. "I think you two are the new Romeo and Juliet but, with a Hellmouth twist. 

"You put on a riveting display of angst and pathos and down right comedy. I expect more of the same." 

"You fight and cry and love and laugh together. You slay dragons and battle daemons together. You have crazy dates and you drive each other nuts half the time." 

"All that and you're still not out of high school yet." 

"Nothing comes easy for either one of you." 

"So maybe you are still not through missing each other and misunderstanding each other. The only thing I can say Buffy; True Love Can Take Some Time." 

* * *

The End 

* * *

  
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	10. IT'S OKAY IF IT'S GOING TO LAST FOREVER ...

* * *

Part One: Protect The Slayer Princess At All Costs 

* * *

**Xander wakes in a field of swaying Wheat. The bright sunshine warms his back. In the distance he sees a vision, a woman. She approaches him, her magnificence gaining more splendor as she gets closer. Her hair, the color of sunshine, bounces and waves in the breeze. Her face, brighter than the day, takes shape. It is Buffy, Buffy Anne Summers, the woman who burns so brightly in his heart as to be a beacon for his night. Her smile is the highlight of her presence, her beaming eyes meant for Xander and only Xander.  
  
Breaking into a wide grin he moves in her direction. The anticipation of imminent contact has his heart fluttering and his pulse racing. He would soon be entwined with this flower of perfection, the two no longer apart but together in blissful union.  
  
Just before their bodies meet, before their lips can speak passion, her smile fades to resolve. Her movement changes to anger. Her hand reaches to sword in sheath.  
  
As Xander tries to react the sword comes down in furious motion toward his neck. He jerks himself awake.  
  
"Noooo!!"  
  
It was Cordelia's turn to keep watch over the unconscious Xander. She jumps from her chair when she hears his cry. She runs to him.  
  
"Xander, it's me, Cordelia." She hugs him. He doesn't respond. He drops back to unconsciousness.  
  
The gang has a meeting. Buffy is lifeless. She doesn't speak unless spoken to. Giles has never seen his slayer this bad, not even when Angel turned.  
  
"Buffy, I know Xander is still in a coma. I know you and he are close friends but…"  
  
She doesn't let him finish. "Close friends, where have you been, Giles? Xander and I are soul mates. At least we were before…"  
  
She can't finish. She has to leave to compose herself.  
  
Giles addresses Willow. "Willow, I've..I've never seen her like this before. Even after Angel turned."  
  
"Giles, when Buffy finally fell in love with Xander she fell very hard. She thinks he won't be able to get past her trying to kill him."  
  
"Is she correct?"  
  
Willow looks at Rebecca. "Rupert, he is trying but, I don't think he is having much luck."  
  
"You mean he is going through this while unconscious?"  
  
"Yes, Rupert."  
  
"I don't understand? Isn't he in a coma?"  
  
"Yes, Rupert, but the spell left many internal daemons in its wake. He is battling them to try to preserve his love for Buffy."  
  
"And, what if he can't overcome these daemons?"  
  
"He will eventually come back to us in order to help Buffy."  
  
"But, she will still be upset?"  
  
"Yes, but let's hope she can cure him of it. It might take some time, however."  
  
Giles gives Rebecca a sarcastic look. "Oh, and I suppose in the meantime we will be further entertained by their interactions?"  
  
It is a tragedy, Rupert, but I have faith in their love  
  
Rebecca looks at the watcher sheepishly. "It's very romantic, Rupert."  
  
He furrows his brow. Rebecca reaches to him. "You use to be romantic, Rupert."  
  
Somewhat embarrassed, "Not in front of the children, Rebecca."  
  
Everyone gets a good laugh.  
  


* * *

  
  
The young woman winds her way through the cemetery following a loud noise. As she gets closer to it she feels the concentration of pure evil. She can see the beginning of a ritual on a make shift altar. She can hear a baby crying. A beast with a lit torch approaches the altar. The young woman runs as fast as she can to try to stop it from sacrificing the infant.  
  
She doesn't see the ten vampires blocking her way to the altar. She furiously battles them. One by one they explode to dust. She gets closer to the altar. Just as she fights her way through the last of the guards she is viciously smashed to the head with a baseball bat. She takes another blow to the face. She falls to the ground.  
  
She is carried to the altar and tied snugly to it. Twigs and other kindling material are placed around her. It is lighted.  
  
As the heat around the woman builds she wakes in terror!  
  
It is Buffy! She screams into the dark night. "Xander!"  
  
He jerks awake.  
  
"Noooo!!"  
  
Cordelia is there, again. She runs to him. "This time he responds to her hug."  
  
"Xander, it's okay, honey. You're safe."  
  
"Is the slayer safe, Cordelia?"  
  
"Buffy is fine. Do you want me to get her?"  
  
"No, no, you don't have to get her. As long as she is safe."  
  
Even though the brunet has feelings for Xander she is still sad that he doesn't want to see Buffy. It means the slayer was right. He woke up to help her but can't get over her trying to kill him. Buffy's worst nightmare has come true.  
  
Cordelia calls the gang. They meet her in the waiting room.  
  
"He woke up about half an hour ago. He wanted to know if Buffy was okay. He must have had a nightmare about her."  
  
Rebecca looks at Buffy. "Do you want some time alone with him before we all go in?"  
  
Buffy is very nervous. "I guess so."  
  
She goes to Xander's room entering very slowly. She approaches him. She can see the scar on his face. It is quite ugly. She can also see the bandage on his chest. His breathing is unsteady and labored.  
  
He senses her presence. He opens his eyes, looking at her.  
  
"It is almost too much for her. She can hardly speak. "Xander are you okay?" She tries to touch him but he turns his head away from her. Her heart sinks.  
  
"I'm fine, Buffy."  
  
Tears start to fall down her cheeks. Xander reaches to her.   
  
"I'm…I'm sorry…Buffy."  
  
Buffy leans to his touch on her face. Xander can feel her tears fall on his fingers. He is also crying. She looks down on him.  
  
"Xander…Xander, I'm so…sorry."  
  
"I know you are, Buffy."  
  
They look at each other. Their sadness is overwhelming. It was something beyond their control. They were so close to one another yet Buffy cannot throw herself into Xander's arms.  
  
Hellmouth stood in the way. The Hellmouth with all its evil machinations and baneful realities.  
  
Buffy Summers, the slayer, the young woman who risks her life everyday just to keep goodness in the world. This poor young woman could not have the love of the one person who made it all seem manageable. She was robed of the love of Xander Harris. Her Xander Harris, the boy who lived for her. The boy who was terrorized because of her love for him.  
  
It cannot possibly be fair!  
  
There was no joy in Xander's heart. No joy despite the fact he killed the monster who had been terrorizing him for months.  
  
It cost him Buffy!  
  
Nothing is right. The entire world is wrong.  
  
He is mad at everyone. Mad at himself for being so vulnerable. Mad at Buffy. She's the Goddamn slayer! She can't stop herself from tearing him apart?  
  
Mad at the Gods. Can't he and Buffy have anything? They risk themselves for everybody. Can't they be allowed the comfort of each other's arms?  
  
To hell with being special! If he can't be with Buffy they can keep the rest!   
  
The slayer leaves with as heavy a heart as she has ever had. It was not her fault she did those horrible things to Xander.  
  
But, it was not Xander's fault either. He tried to fight it. She knows he did.  
  
Like Rebecca said, at least he will still help her with the slaying. At least she can still be with him for that.   
  
Will he still be his funny normal self or will he be all business?   
  
She answers herself. He'll be whatever I need but will I be able to have him that close to me without…?   
  
She can't finish as she is overcome with sadness, again.  
  
How can I possibly have anymore tears to shed?   
  


* * *

  
  
Xander gets out of the hospital. They have a meeting at Giles' house to discuss the killing of Angelus. Buffy and Xander have not seen each other since their tearful scene at the hospital.  
  
Buffy is still out of it. Xander doesn't feel much better. He knows they cannot continue in this funk. He knows he has to do something. He goes over to Buffy. She looks up at him. He bends down to her, smiling sweetly. He caresses her face very gently.  
  
"Buffy, could we take a walk?"  
  
The slayer is actually stunned. Xander helps her up. They excuse themselves.  
  
They go out to the porch. They sit. Xander speaks very softly.  
  
"Honey, things are not alright with us. You…you practically killed me." He breaks down. Buffy wants to offer comfort but is afraid to touch him.  
  
He composes himself.  
  
"We still have to deal with Hellmouth, Buffy. The group really needs us."  
  
Xander grabs her hands in his. "I can't deal with the rest right now."  
  
"I know…Xander. It's…it's too much."  
  
Both are sniffing back tears.  
  
"Buffy, I'm still your friend." They embrace, crying on each other's shoulder.  
  
Buffy really needed this. Of course, Xander knew. Buffy needed to feel Xander's comforting embrace, the one, which drives away the darkness for her, the one that is shelter from the storm.  
  
After they are both cried out they break.  
  
"Xander, thank you."  
  
They begin to stare at each other, the familiar gaze that begins their magical ride of passion and love but before the space between them becomes charged Xander closes his eyes.  
Buffy turns her head. Xander stands up. They start to go back to the meeting. Xander stops.  
  
"Buffy, I'll do something if you will."  
  
Buffy looks at him. "What?"  
  
"Smile."  
  
They both smile. It is a smile of resignation.   
  
They may both be heartbroken but ask the daemons if they care?  
  
Ask the bloodsucking monsters and the horned freaks if they'll give our heroes time off for grieving or healing?  
  
Angelus' ghost was not half way to hell before a ghoul or a goblin or some other dead-assed beast of the night hatched another foul smelling scheme to thwart our would be saviors!  
  
"What's up next?"   
  


* * *

  
  
Buffy and Xander return to the meeting. Xander makes an announcement.  
  
"We had this vision while we were outside. A couple of older people were buying breakfast for all the still growing youths among us. The sign outside the restaurant said, IHOP"  
  
Everybody looks at Rebecca and Giles. They reluctantly agree.  
  
This is just what the doctor ordered. Oz and Xander tell the story of Leslie fulfilling the great Meldrick's most cherished desire, to have an indoor toilet.  
  
"He burns a candle of adoration to her every time he has a warm bowl movement."  
  
Everyone is in stitches, even Buffy.  
  
For now the tension is broken.  
  
Xander goes back to school, a place he has not visited for quite some time. He puts his nose to the grindstone to catch up.  
  
He and Buffy are very polite with one another. Xander has really been leaning on Leslie. They have been spending a lot of time together.  
  
One afternoon Leslie comes to his house.  
  
"Xander, I have something to discuss with you. I have a very good offer from Linda and Stacy. I need to tap their knowledge. Giles and Rebecca told me I should learn all I can so I can really contribute to you guys. They want me to stay with them for awhile."  
  
"Shit, Leslie, good timing."  
  
She didn't realize Xander would take it this hard. "I'm sorry, babe. I need to learn all I can learn."  
  
"I know…it's just…"  
  
Leslie hugs him. "I'll be back, Xander. Anyway, Willow, Cordelia and I have been talking. You need to go to Buffy. You two are destined to be together."  
  
Xander is pissed off. "You go to someone else to decide what is best for you and I?"  
  
"That's not it. You know I have to do this, Xander. Why are you giving me a rough time about it?"  
  
"You're right, Leslie, but could you just not be so flip about it?"  
  
Leslie warms. "Look, you know how I feel about you. I never met anyone like you before and I probably never will, again. But, your heart is elsewhere. Everybody knows it, too. You're a great friend, Xander. You're even a great lover. But, it's your heart that's the problem, not mine."  
  
Xander walks away from her. She goes to him. "Xander, I know you care for me. I'm sorry to be so flip about it. Let's get some dinner and maybe a little wine. My treat."  
  
"Okay, Leslie." She stares at him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"How did you ever get to be you. I mean…You're the toughest fighter I've ever seen but you have this amazing sensitivity."  
  
They have a very nice dinner. Xander is worried about Leslie.  
  
"Listen, word is going to get around that Linda and Stacy helped us. I want you to tell them to leave me a sign if they are ever in trouble. Put a white piece of cloth with a red cross on one of their window pains. I'll come by at least once a week.  
  
Leslie raises her glass of wine. "Xander, let's drink to our friendship."  
"I can get into that. I toast to Leslie, my friend, confidant and all time drinking buddy."  
  
"I toast to Xander, hellacious daemon fighter, my protector, friend and lover, a person who got me out of my self pity and introduced me to…"  
  
Xander interrupts. "Death, danger, destruction!"  
  
Leslie has to laugh. "Yea, all that good stuff. But, seriously, Xander, you introduced me to the life I was born to live."  
  
"And, when you got into it the scales tipped a little over to the good side."  
  
They cross arms then drink the wine.  
  
Xander stares at Leslie.  
  
"What, Xander?"  
  
"Leslie, please get very good so I don't have to cry at your funeral. I buried enough people already. Promise me you'll be very careful, almost paranoid. Spike saw you. You already have a rep. I get a pain in my soul thinking about the danger you face."  
  
All of a sudden Leslie realizes why Xander was so upset when she told him she was leaving.  
  
She takes his hands in hers. "Xander, I will never be so flip again with you. If I didn't have you…"  
  
She doesn't finish. Xander picks up his wine.  
  
"Let's drink to our continued friendship. The thing that will keep us both alive. Without each other we are dead!" They drink.  
  
"Alright, enough of the dark stuff. Let's get you up to Linda's place.  
  
They have a very tearful departure.  


* * *

Part Two: The Competition is No Competition at All 

* * *

**

Xander goes back to school. Willow approaches him.  
  
"Hello, Will."  
  
The redhead doesn't even say hello. "Buffy is devastated, Xander."  
  
"I don't think I want to talk to you about her, Willow."  
  
"Why, Xander?"  
  
"Because you'll ask me to do things I'm not ready to do."  
  
"She was under a spell, Xander!"  
  
Xander starts to well up. "Willow…honey…please? She almost killed me! Excuse me if I'm a little shy about embracing her."  
  
"I've never seen you this bitter, before."  
  
"She's the slayer. She claims to love me. You mean to tell me she can't do something to stop herself from trying to kill me!"  
  
Buffy comes up behind Xander. For a moment she and Xander look at one another. The hard look on his face really shakes her. He storms away.  
  
"I've…never seen Xander look quite that hard before. What were you talking about, Will?"  
  
Willow lowers her head. Buffy closes her eyes. "It was about me, wasn't it, Will?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Buff."  
  
"He's never going to get over that, is he?" Buffy breaks down. They have to go into an empty classroom.  
  
Willow's heart is breaking for Buffy.  
  
"Willow…this…this is worse than Angel. I love Xander so much. I've never been without Xander's love. Even before I knew I loved him…he…he always loved me. Willow, the only reason I could function without Angel was because Xander was there. I didn't even realize how much I loved him even then. I didn't know that was love."  
  
"Xander can't hide anything from me. I know what is going on inside of him. It really scares me, Willow. He loved me more than anything else in the world. His whole life is me. Rebecca told me Xander is "One Of Them." It means he was born for a special purpose. His special purpose is to be with me. He figured it out himself. This is killing him, too."  
  
"Buffy, all Xander ever wanted since he met you was to have you love him. Now you do but…"  
  
She can't finish. They both enjoy a good cry. When they are finished.  
  
"How about you and Oz, Will?"  
  
"Oz forgives me for hitting him but…"  
  
"But what?"  
  
"Oz now looks at the big picture. You know, the one Xander sees. That means he'll be going off with Xander to the underground and meeting all those sophisticated women Xander knows."  
  
"Willow, I didn't tell you. The night Xander took me out on that cool date. He brought flowers for my mother. He also hugged her!"  
  
"Buffy, Xander hugged your mother, why?"  
  
"He said that somebody had to be thanked for bringing me into the world."  
  
Willow has her mouth open.  
  
"He is so damn romantic, Willow! Sometimes when he looks at me I can see this thing deep within his eyes. His love for me is amazing. It covers all of him."  
  
"I know it scares him. I know he's lost but he won't let me…" She breaks down again.  
  
After sniffing back the tears. "He's going to try to get comfort somewhere else. I know he is but it's not going to work. I'm not giving up on him, Willow."  
  
Buffy and Willow hug.  
  


* * *

  
  
Xander had to duck into an empty classroom, also. His tears flow freely down his face. He has been afraid to close his eyes since he got out of the hospital. Every time he does he has the same dream. Just before he and Buffy embrace he can see her try to kill him with the sword.  
  
What the hell am I suppose to do? Does Willow really think I would hurt Buffy on purpose? I can't look at her for long. I can't look in her eyes.   
  
Xander has been doing nothing but going to school, training and fighting. He hasn't even been patrolling with Buffy. Things have been quiet of late.  
  


* * *

  
  
He is in the cemetery patrolling by himself. He can't stand to see Buffy do it by herself but he talked Giles into letting him do it. Xander and the watcher have this whole "protect the slayer" thing going on. Giles allows Xander to take chances he wouldn't let the slayer take. Buffy would be furious if she knew.  
  
Xander finds he can get his frustrations out by ripping on Hellmouth baddies. His rep is huge, now. Any vamp worth his salt wants to nail the "Boy Wonder."  
  
Xander runs into one such creature. "Say your prayers kid!"  
  
"My prayer," He punches the vamp. "Is to," He kicks it to the ground. "Stake your ass." He does.  
  
"Instant gratification!"  
  
As Xander gets to the middle of the cemetery he notices three figures watching him.  
  
He flips and stakes another vampire, all the time keeping his eye on the mysterious guests. They don't attack. They just watch.  
  
After a battle with another vamp he decides to approach them.  
  
"What are you three waiting for? Let's go."  
  
The three are all women. One is a tall blond-headed girl, built like an athlete. The other two are the same height. One fair skinned brunette girl and one black haired girl who looked like a younger version of Rachel.  
  
Xander is forced to deal with another vampire but then turns his attention back to the three.  
  
"What's the deal, are you here to fight or what?"  
  
The blond girl speaks. "We're not vampires."  
  
"You just like to hang around graveyards?"  
  
The brunette speaks. "We were watching you."  
  
"Well, if you're not daemons or vampires this is a very uncool place to hang."  
  
"You're here."  
  
"Yea, but as you can see I work here. Look, I don't mean to be rude but get the hell out of here before you get hurt!"  
  
The blond-headed woman speaks. "We were looking for you."  
  
"Do I know you?"  
  
"Are you Xander Harris?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"We were told you are a daemon hunter?"  
  
"I hate to tell you this but this is Hellmouth. Daemons hunt me."  
  
"We need help."  
  
"Who are you guys?"  
  
The blond-headed woman introduces them. "I'm Kathleen. Rona is the brunette and Inez is on the end there. We're Witches. A friend of ours told us you help people."  
  
"Who's the friend?"  
  
"Linda."  
  
"Okay, I'd ask you to pull up a chair but the furniture is sort of scarce. How about if we go to the park? It's safer there, anyway."  
  
They head to the park. They sit on the grass. Xander talks.  
  
"What kind of help do you need?"  
  
"We go to Roosevelt High School, over in the valley. There's a gang. They keep messing with us because we're witches. They seem to be mostly normal but we think the leader is some sort of daemon."  
  
Inez chimes in. "It's not just normal harassment. I almost got raped."  
  
Kathleen adds. "We get hassled every day."  
  
"But you think you're getting attacked because you're witches?"  
  
"We just found out we can do certain weird things when we're together but we don't know how to use any of it."  
  
"So you can't come up with any spells or anything?"  
  
Inez speaks up for the first time. "No, and we don't want to do that anyway. We don't want to hurt anybody."  
  
Xander sighs. They are Linda's friends. "Okay, I'll help but…"  
  
"But what, Xander?"  
  
"I was going to chill out for a while tonight at a place called the Bronze. Would you guys be up for a little dancing? Just for a little while then we'll talk more about your problem."  
  
The girls look surprised. Kathleen answers. "Well, I guess so, Xander." She looks at Rona and Inez who nod their approval.  
  
"Alright, let me just explain something. I have friends. One of them is a vampire slayer. Right now I'm sort of mad at them."  
  
Kathleen gives him a look of recognition. "You loved Buffy but then you had to kill her ex who was a vampire. He had her under a spell. After you killed him she attacked you pretty bad. Now you can't stand to be with her."  
  
Xander stares at Kathleen. "I think Linda has a big mouth."  
  
Inez perks up. "Will we get to meet Oz?"  
  
"Yea, he'll probably be there. I just need to get these bloody clothes off. I'll show you where it is then I'll meet you there."  
  


* * *

  
  
Cordelia, Buffy and Willow are at the Bronze. Oz is playing.  
  
Buffy speaks. "Do you think Xander will come, Willow?"  
  
"He's due for a break."  
  
Kathleen, Rona and Inez come in. They command quite a bit of attention.  
  
Cordelia sees them first. "Who the hell are they?"  
  
The slayer looks them over. "They look tough."  
  
Willow adds. "They look dangerous. Where's Oz?"  
  
Cordelia chimes in. "Where's Xander?"  
  
Buffy adds her comment on that. "Oh, you mean he missed three fashion models. He's slowing down."  
  
Willow continues it. "His work schedule must be cramping his style."  
  
The three newcomers walk to the other side of the dance floor to get something to drink.  
  
Xander comes in. He reluctantly walks to the table where the slayer is sitting.  
  
"Hi, Willow, Cordelia." He and Buffy exchange a glance. "Hi, Buffy."  
  
"Hi Xander." He starts looking around.   
  
Willow speaks. "Are you going to join us?"  
  
"Actually I was looking for somebody."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Somebody asked me for help. I wanted to ask you, Will, if it was okay to ask Oz to come?"  
  
"No, it's not."  
  
Kathleen, Rona and Inez see Xander. They approach the table. Cordelia sees them coming.   
  
"No, it can't be!"  
  
Buffy and Willow look. They can only shake their heads.  
  
Kathleen puts her hand on Xander's shoulder. "Hi Xander."  
  
"Kathleen, this is Buffy, Cordelia and Willow. Guys, this is Kathleen, Inez and Rona."  
  
Inez looks at Willow. "You're Oz's girlfriend, right?"  
  
Willow nods. "Is it okay if I meet him?"  
  
Willow is taken aback. Inez is quite beautiful, very intimidating. "Ah…sure…he's playing right now but maybe after."  
  
Kathleen addresses Xander. "Do you want to dance, Xander?"  
  
"Okay." Rona goes, too. Inez goes up to the stage to look at Oz.  
  
Cordelia is the first to comment. "I'll be damned. We should have known."  
  
Buffy is disgusted. "He is out of control!"  
  
Willow, "Only Xander can be outside and meet three fashion models who need help. And, one of them wants Oz."  
  
Cordelia reminds the witch. "Xander took him on his latest trip to the underground."  
  
On the dance floor Kathleen and Rona dance opposite Xander. Kathleen starts some really sexy moves toward Xander. He comments.  
  
"They must have some real dynamite dances at Roosevelt with you shaking that stuff."  
  
The blond responds in a very flirting manner. "You have the temperature pretty high yourself, Xander."  
  
Back at the table Buffy is thoroughly pissed off! "You know what the real clincher here is? He actually thinks he can pull stuff like this and we're not going to say anything."  
  
Cordelia is still staring at the dance floor. "Look at that blond haired one. I'd say she's staking a claim!"  
  
Buffy is not going to take this sitting down. "You know, Xander might never talk to me again but, I'm not taking this shit."  
  
She approaches the dancers. She taps Kathleen on the shoulder.  
  
"Get your tongue up off the floor." She turns to Xander. "Xander, can I talk to you?"  
  
Kathleen answers. "We're dancing."  
  
Buffy looks at her with barely controlled anger. "I don't know who you are and I don't really care. I'm talking to Xander."  
  
The tall blond doesn't back down. "Aren't you the slayer?"  
  
"Oh, you heard of me. Then I'm sure you heard how mean and nasty I am?"  
  
Xander is a little upset. "Buffy, what are you doing?"  
  
"I want to talk to you…in private."  
  
"Buffy, what do you want?"  
  
"Have the courtesy to keep your bimbos out of my face!"  
  
Xander is incredulous. "Buffy, I'm dancing with a friend."  
  
"You're dancing. She's undressing you!"  
  
Kathleen gets mad. "Hey, I can dance with whoever the hell I want!"  
  
Buffy gets in her face. "You're real close to going on your ass, here!"  
  
Xander gets in between them. "Buffy, please." He fondles her face to try to calm her down.  
  
"Get her out of here now, Xander!" Seeing the resolve on Buffy's face Xander turns to Kathleen. "Could you wait for me outside, please?"  
  
Kathleen takes one last hard look at Buffy then gets Rona and Inez. They leave.  
  
Buffy goes back to the table. Xander is fuming. He comes over.  
  
"What the hell was that, Buffy?"  
  
Willow speaks up. "You can't bring three girls like that right in our face and not expect us to get mad, Xander. Even you're not that stupid."  
  
"They're witches…"  
  
Cordelia interrupts. "You can say that again!"  
  
"They are friends of a friend. They came to ask for help. I just thought they could just chill out for a while. Buffy, I'm not flaunting anybody in your face."  
  
"Xander, Kathleen was all over you on the dance floor."  
  
Xander is very angry. "I made a mistake. I thought I could bring some people in here and my friends would be friendly to them."  
  
Buffy answers. "That's bullshit, Xander!"  
  
Cordelia adds. "You can't bring three women like that and expect us to smile and be friendly."  
  
"They're in trouble. I'm going to help them. Buffy, despite what you think I would never do anything in your face to hurt you. It's a shame you can't say the same thing."  
  
Cordelia has to comment. "That is really low, Xander."  
  
Willow adds. "You're a bastard, Xander."  
  
Xander is shocked at Willow. "What is it with you three? What the hell do you want out of me?" He begins to walk away but stops. He goes back to the table.  
  
"Look I am doing this to repay a favor. Believe it or not, Buffy, the favor helped you too. I am not trying to hurt you guys or flaunt anybody in your face. Buffy, I'm sorry."  
  
He walks out. Buffy is very sad. Willow tries to comfort her.  
  
"Buffy, I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's okay. I can't force him to love me."  
  
Cordelia has an added thought. "Willow, I hate to remind you of this but he wants to take Oz with him. That one girl was already in love with him before she even met him."  
  
"And, he'll probably go, too."  
  
Buffy sighs. "We didn't train these guys right!"  
  
Xander goes outside with Kathleen and the others.  
  
"Kathleen, I apologize for my friends."  
  
"The slayer's reputation is well earned."  
  
"She's in a lot of pain, Kathleen."  
  
"Xander, do you go with her?"  
  
"No…but…"  
  
The tall blonde interrupts him. "Xander, I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just felt connected with you a little bit in there."  
  
Xander goes to her. He puts his arm around her. "I know you guys are having a rough time. We were sort of meshing on the dance floor, weren't we?"  
  
Kathleen leans into his touch. "Yes we were. Tell me straight, Xander, would I be in the competition for you?"  
  
Xander stares for a few seconds. Competition, there is no competition for his heart. His heart belongs to Buffy. He shakes his head.  
  
"Oh, Kathleen, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. Buffy and I are…it's really complicated but…"  
  
"No, Xander, I'm sorry. You agreed to help us. You didn't say anything about becoming my boyfriend. I'm out of line, Xander."  
  
They hug very warmly.  
  
"Kathleen, I'll meet you some time tomorrow or the next day. Give me your number. I'll call you. Until then don't go to school, okay?"  
  
They agree.  


* * *

Go on to Part Three 

* * *

  
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	11. Chapter 3-4

* * *

Part Three: Love Can Be So Damn Sweet 

* * *

**Xander is very pensive. He thinks of the scene at the Bronze.  
  
Did Buffy actually get jealous of Kathleen? Does she actually think she has to compete for me?   
  
It occurs to him how much tonight must have hurt the woman he loves with all his heart and soul.  
  
What the hell am I doing? She was under a goddamn spell!   
  
All of a sudden Xander sees the light. This is killing her. He is hurting Buffy more than any daemon or monster has ever hurt her. He can't allow Hellmouth to win like that.  
  
He starts to cry. I love her! What am I doing?   
  
All at once he stops the tears. He looks into the sky. He starts laughing.  
  
He screams into the heavens!   
  
"The pain is gone! The pain is gone!"  
  
"I finally sent you to hell, Angelus, you sarcastic punk ass weasel!"  
  
"I finally got your goddam daemon spirit out of my system. You are gone!"  
  
Xander practically dances his way toward Buffy's house.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tonight was too much for Buffy. Now there's Kathleen. She could tell by the way she looked at Xander that she was after much more than help from him. How the hell can she compete with her?  
  
He can't even stand to look at her. Every time he even looks into her eyes she can see the pain.  
  
But dammit, he won't even give her a chance. He's afraid to spend any time with her. She looks at herself in the mirror.   
  
"You're afraid, Xander, because you know I can melt your heart."  
  
"How about my pain? I tried to kill the man who beats in my heart and soul."  
  
Buffy decides Xander is just being stubborn. She is not going to take it anymore.  
  
She flops on her bed. She picks up her stuffed animal, Duffy.  
  
"I think he's afraid to spend any time with me. I dare him, right now, to stand in front of me."  
  
"Right now, Xander, you chicken!"  
  
Buffy is startled by a loud pinging noise on her window. It happens again.  
  
She is almost afraid to look. "No, it can't be?"  
  
After the third time she finally gets up to look. When she sees who it is she has to back away from the window for a moment. "Oh my God, it's Xander. I don't believe it!"  
  
The next thing Buffy knows Xander has climbed up to her window. He is knocking to get in. She opens it, letting him in.  
  
He immediately buries himself on her shoulder, crying. After a minute he breaks. When Buffy looks into his eyes she knows what the visit is about.  
  
The pain is gone. There is love and concern and caring and the hundred other things Buffy can always locate in Xander's eyes but no pain.  
  
That pain. The one she saw as she was attacking him. It's not there.  
  
Xander is back. Her Xander, the one who lives to look at her and touch her and love her.  
  
The tears flow freely on both sides. "How, Xander? How did you let go of it?"  
  
"Buffy, Kathleen asked me if she could compete for me. I told her there was never any competition for my heart. Buffy, you don't ever have to compete for me. It was never about that, Buffy. You didn't think…"  
  
The slayer interrupts. "Xander, you don't understand and you don't have to understand. Just hold me."   
  
Neither one can move. They are reconnecting, reforming, re-membering.   
  
It is a labor of love.  
  
"Buffy, it was awful. Something was in the way. Something was inside of me. Every time I felt you or thought about you." He really starts whimpering.   
  
Buffy can feel all the pain leaving him as she allows her love to flow through and around him.   
  
She is healing him and she knows it. It is a joyful occasion.  
  
Buffy knows her heart picked the right person. This man standing in front of her is the most amazing person she has ever met. His whole life is her.  
  
"Xander, never stay away from me, again." She lets out with a nervous laugh.  
  
"I know you. I was sitting here telling Duffy. I knew I could heal you but you were afraid to be with me…"  
  
She stops; thinking of how freaky it was that Xander showed up when he did.  
  
"Xander, you're not like, psychic, are you?"  
  
He picks up her stuffed animal "No, but I am jealous of this rat you sleep with every night."  
  
Taking it from him. "Hey, he not a rat. He's Duffy. Duffy is an Armadillo. My daddy bought him for me."  
  
Xander looks around her room. "Duffy gets to spend all this time with you in your room."  
  
He walks over to the nightstand. He picks up a book, which is obviously her diary.  
  
"I'll bet he gets to read your diary."  
  
Buffy quickly takes it from him. She clutches it to her chest, playfully. "This is none of your business, Xander."  
  
The Boy Wonder stares at it. "Oh to be safely nestled upon the same space where that precious book now resides."  
  
"Xander, I see you have been saving up your craziness."  
  
He ignores her. He moves seductively closer to her. He continues his crazy ramblings.  
  
"I want to be where that book is. Besides, isn't that the place where the precious wine spilled when we had our date? I think I can see some of it still staining your fair, blonde skin."  
  
He moves closer to her. "Xander, you better stop this. Do you think I didn't get a shower since then?"  
  
"You can't get that wine out with soap and water. Didn't you read the bottle? It has to be done by a special process."  
  
He walks toward her. She falls back on the bed. Xander playfully jumps her. They begin to giggle. Buffy remembers where they are.  
  
"Xander, I must be nuts. You made me forget where we are. We're in my room, Xander, my mother is here! She'll hear us."  
  
"No she won't. One of my powers is that nobody can see me or hear me but you."  
  
He starts to paw at her.  
  
"Xander, we have to stop. Let me get dressed."  
  
"Oh yes, I forgot. We can go to my house."   
  
Buffy gets dressed. They go outside. It is a nice moon lit night. They stop in the park.  
  
"Xander, I have so many things I want to tell you."  
  
Grabbing her in an embrace. "I know you do, Buffy, but just hold me right now."  
  
"Just let me feel your presence." They stay locked for a few minutes.   
  
Xander breaks, looking into Buffy's eyes. "You know if they blindfolded me and lined up all the women in the world to hug me I could tell which one was you."  
  
Having watched while Xander spent time with other women these past days, Buffy has a better idea.  
  
"How about if I'm the only one who hugs you. Then you'll definitely know it's me."  
  
Laughing, "Okay, we'll do it that way."  
  
The mood gets serious. "Xander, this was like hell for me. Worse than when Angel changed. I can't help it, Xander. I love you so much."  
  
"It was eating me up inside. I need you to function, now."  
  
"I need you too, Buffy."  
  
"Xander, you don't need me the way I need you. There are so many other women around you who can…"  
  
He interrupts her. "Wait a minute, Buffy." He kneels in front of her taking her hands in his.  
  
"I might have been with other women. I might have done things with other women but there was always something missing. The only reason I went with anybody else was because we weren't together. And, every time, they all told me the same thing."  
  
"My heart belongs to Buffy Anne Summers."  
  
That did it!  
  
There is a time and a place to talk the talk. But, there is also a time to walk the walk. This was one of these times. No amount of words could convey the feelings our young heroes have for each other.  
  
They move toward Xander's house with each other in tow. They are both of singular purpose. They have been deprived of each other long enough.  
  
No daemon on Hellmouth can sway them. No dire prophecy can change their course.  
  
On this night, during this time, Buffy Anne Summers and Xander "no middle name" Harris are going to make love to each other.  
  
They are going to peel the paint off the wall with their passion, overload the fuses with their power, tear down the whole damn town with the shear intensity of their union.  
  
They paid their dues, put in the hours, and burned incense at the altar of God and Country.  
  
This was their time, now!  
  
Time to rock and roll and what not!  
  
Batten down the hatches. Get the young kids and the old ladies out the way!  
  
Buffy and Xander are going to get it on and, the world is going to have to wait 'till they're finished.  
  
Bing, bong, boom and bang! The tide crests and falls and crests again. In life there are few times when event transcends the time and place of its happening.  
  
Let's just say Xander and Buffy took a little journey.  
  
Have Mercy!!  
  
Upon their return they can only lie in one another's embrace.  
  
Neither knows how long they remain still. Neither had ever known the serenity, which they now possess.   
  
They are so right. They are so in line with things as they should be.  
  
When they are finally able to move Xander fixes them some tea.  
  
"Xander, we'll never last together. We'll burn up."  
  
"It sure is remarkable, isn't it slayer?"  
  
"You know, Buffy, everything is different. I've made tea a thousand times but this is the first time I've made it with you in love with me. It's like a new thing or something."  
  
"Buffy, are you sure you love me?"  
  
"Listen, Lavelle, if that wasn't love we just did…"  
  
"Oh, that was us then. I thought maybe I had imagined it."  
  
"Xander, you really love me, don't you?"  
  
"Buffy, what I feel for you is probably outlawed in ten states."  
  
"Xander, I keep unwrapping you like a present. I can't believe all the times I had you in front of me but I didn't kiss you or grab you or anything."  
  
"How am I ever going to make up for all the pain I caused you, Xander?"  
  
"Buffy, you are going to be yourself. That's all you have to do. Well, maybe we can repeat what we just did a few more times."  
  
Buffy laughs. "I won't ever be able to leave here. I'll be too embarrassed. Everybody will know what we did."  
  
That's right, even the vampires will know. I'm going to tell them all anyway.  
  
Things get quiet as the now together pair allows each other's presence to sink in.  
  
Buffy has never been as sure of anything in her own life. There is none of the torment and tension she had with Angel.  
  
The one thing which really blows her mind is the fact that the intensity and complexity and overwhelming presence of Xander within her has so taken her over, she has very little emotion left for the whole Angel thing.  
  
Angel is dead. Xander killed him to save her. But, she doesn't feel a void. She doesn't have the pain she had when he was alive. The pain which blocked Xander from her heart and soul.  
  
She is sorry that Angel had to die, sorry that their act of love turned him back into Angelus. But, there is no competition within her between the love she had with Angel and the love she now has for Xander. She cannot compare the two.  
  
Xander didn't replace Angel. Xander said that himself; he wasn't trying to do that.  
  
Angel was more a symbol, a place more than an actual partner. She needed the vampire. She was a kid in a dangerous world.  
  
It is different with Xander, very different. Xander is her equal. He is her partner. He is her friend. His love for her is the driving force of his life. He has this way about him which gives her comfort but also pushes her to be better, to be sharper.  
  
His presence gives her energy to fight the evil but also is shelter from the storm of darkness and fear, which usually accompanies the battle.  
  
Xander and Buffy. There was a time, not too long ago, when Xander thought it impossible to ever hear the two names mentioned together. Now she was completely in love with him. When he looks at her he can see it.  
  
He still can't believe it. He starts to well up. Buffy sees. She goes to him.  
  
"Honey, what's the matter?  
  
"Buffy, this has a happy ending, okay. But, I…I loved you for such a long time. All I ever wanted was to… and now when I look at you I can see your love for me. It's still too much for me."  
  
She cradles his head in her lap. "Xander, I know what you went through waiting for me. I can't think about it too much because it brings me too much pain but, Xander, there is something I have to ask you because…"  
  
Now, Buffy wells up. Xander talks to her "Buffy, why are you crying?"  
  
"Xander, I was almost too late. You…you weren't exactly being by yourself when you were waiting for me."  
  
Xander doesn't say anything. Buffy gets up. She gets distant. Finally, she turns back to Xander.  
  
"Xander, I want you to answer me truthfully. Do you love Rachel?"  
  
Xander begins to answer but Buffy cuts him off.   
  
"I saw it in your eyes when you thought I was going to harm her."  
  
"Buffy, please."  
  
"Xander, there is no way you can tell me you don't have feelings for her."  
  
"Buffy, she told me you and I were destined to be together. She kicked me out of her liar."  
  
"But you wanted to stay with her, right?"  
  
"Buffy, you mean to tell me you don't know I love you?"  
  
"That's not the point, Xander?"  
  
"Honey, I was with Rachel. I had a relationship with her. I was with Leslie. I had a relationship with her. But, that is all in the past. The only thing I can tell you is that I have the person I want. I am not thinking of anybody else when I am with you."  
  
"You are the prize for me, Buffy. Please tell me you know that?"  
  
Buffy, sighing, "Deep down I know that, Xander, but do you realize how intimidating the women of your little circle are?"  
  
"They are friends, Buffy, our friends. We need them to survive."  
  
"I know, they are part of the big picture. Part of your big plan to help me."  
  
"You are going to be the first slayer who ever retired. We are growing old together!"  
  
"You know, you have Oz seeing that "Big Picture" now. You have Willow upset."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because everybody you meet in the underground are sophisticated fashion models."  
  
"I'll talk to her. But, could we drop this line of questioning, now, please?"   
  
"Okay, honey. Xander, I hate to bring this up but I have to go home."  
  
"I know you do." They kiss passionately. Buffy walks out the door. She stops for a minute on Xander's porch. It is really hard for Buffy to leave Xander alone. It doesn't feel right. In fact, whenever Buffy is not with Xander it doesn't feel right, anymore.  
  
She reluctantly lies down on her bed, reviewing the last chapter of her life with Xander Lavelle Harris, the most wonderful and exciting person the slayer has ever met.  


* * *

Part Four: It Was Way Too Easy 

* * *

**

Buffy stops to see Willow. 

The redhead looks for signs of Buffy's mood. "Are we a happy slayer, today?" 

Buffy breaks out in a huge smile. "We are a very happy slayer!" 

"Some more new Xander magic?" 

Buffy sighs, "Just when I thought it was hopeless. I knew I could heal him if he would just give me the chance. Kathleen asked him if she was in the competition for him? This made something in him snap. He came up to my room to tell me there was never any competition for his heart." 

Willow interrupts "He's still dumb Xander, isn't he?" 

"He meant from his side. Anyway, we had a very heavy, tearful reunion. Much Xander craziness." 

Buffy can't help it. She starts to gush. Willow joins her. "Being in love is sooo cool!" 

Willow, I have butterflies every time I think about him. I can't even describe what I feel when I'm with him." 

"So, you two are now officially a couple forever?" 

"As long as I'm the slayer." 

"Good, now you and I can conspire to keep our guys away from those fashion models." 

"By all means. Different rules. One of the little side benefits of the whole love thing." 

"There is no more Xander, the outlaw. He has to share it all with me." 

"I like this Buffy. Control can be fun." 

"All part of the master plan to control our part of the male population of Sunnydale." 

"Will. I haven't seen him for a few hours now. Do you think it's okay for me to go looking for him?" 

"You really have it bad, girl."

* * *

Xander lies in his bed contemplating the miracle of Sunnydale. Buffy Summers is in love with him. She really is. It is not a joke or a passing fancy. She loves him as much as she ever loved Angel. 

This is enough to keep Xander fueled for a very long time. 

A knock on the door disturbs his high. It is Giles and Rebecca. He answers the door. 

Both appear worried and frantic. "What's up G-man?" 

Rebecca speaks. "Xander, we have to leave, now! We have no time to waste." 

"I don't understand." 

Rebecca pleads with him. "We don't have time to get into it right now. Grab a few things." 

Giles adds, "Two minutes, Xander." 

Xander gets ready. They leave in Rebecca's car. 

"When you killed Coltar you managed to piss off a daemon by the name of Malcolm. He's bad, Xander, I'm even afraid of him." 

"Can I skip a few steps and assume he is after me?" 

"I'll tell you up front, Xander, if Malcolm were after you himself we would be planning your funeral. Right now he has hired a group of bounty hunters to get you. This group he hired will not quit until you are dead or he stops paying them. They take absolutely no prisoners." 

"They'll kill everybody around you, everybody!" 

"So, what am I going to do?" 

"You are going to stay in hiding. At least until I can figure a plan." 

"Wait a minute, Buffy and I just…" 

Rebecca interrupts him. "These are pros, Xander, they have no other purpose in life." 

Giles adds, "Nobody is going to know where you are, Xander." 

"What about Buffy, Giles?" 

"We need to protect her first of all." 

"She is going to be really pissed off." 

"Xander, you know the rules." 

"Giles, I read you loud and clear but Buffy is not going to accept this." 

"Xander, I always trusted you when it came to Buffy's welfare." 

"Okay, I get it. Shit, we just got back together last night." 

Rebecca softens. "You worked past the spell, Xander?" 

"Yes." 

"You poor kids." 

They drop Xander off at a predetermined place. From here others will lead him. As they are leaving Giles turns to tell him one more thing. 

"Xander, one more thing. We have to tell her…you're not coming back." 

"Giles, I've been following this and getting into it but that is going too far." 

"We cannot endanger her, Xander." 

"This will come real close. I don't think you understand how much she needs me." 

Rebecca speaks up. "This is not an overreaction, Xander. Until I can figure out something else we have to keep you away from everybody." 

"I trust you, Rebecca, but…Buffy… And, what about Oz? He was in on the killing of Coltar." 

"Maybe they will be after him once they get you. Right now it's just you." 

There is no way out of it. Xander resigns himself to his leaving. "Rebecca, just tell her I love her." 

Giles and Rebecca watch Xander walk into the woods. "Now, the hard part."

* * *

Giles decides to ask the rest of the Scooby gang to help him tell Buffy the news. He finds Oz and Willow in the park. He gets Cordelia. 

Giles pleads with them. "I need your help. Because Xander killed Coltar there is a very monstrous daemon by the name of Malcolm after him. A group of bounty hunters has been hired to bring Malcolm his dead body. They will not stop. No matter how many of them he kills there will be more." 

Willow is crying. "Giles, Oz killed Coltar, too." 

"I know, Willow, but for now Oz is not involved. At least they are not hunting him. But, all of us are in danger as long as they are hunting Xander. He had to go away." 

Cordelia asks. "Away, where?" 

"No one is going to know." 

Willow immediately thinks of Buffy. "Giles, is Buffy with him?" 

The watcher knew these questions would come. "No…she doesn't know yet." 

"Giles, I'll tell you right now. If you think Buffy is going to accept this you are crazy!" 

"Thank you for being candid, Willow, but it is for her protection most of all. I need your help to tell her." 

Willow is still upset. "I'm sorry, Giles, you don't understand. They just got together. I mean really got together. Xander finally got over that stupid spell thing. It was just last night, Giles. She will not accept this." 

"Will you help her. Have sleepovers or something." 

"I'm too young to die, Giles." 

Cordelia adds. "We'll try, Giles, but Willow is right. She will not take this."

* * *

When Willow returns home Buffy is sitting on her porch. 

"Hello, Will, you haven't seen Xander, have you?" 

Willow is very nervous. She is never going to be able to keep this from Buffy. 

"I haven't actually seen him, no." 

Buffy felt something was wrong about an hour ago. Seeing Willow only confirms her intuition. 

"Something is wrong, Willow, and my spider sense tells me you know what it is." 

Willow begins to cry. "Buffy…" 

"It's Xander, isn't it? Did something happened to him, Willow?" 

The redhead doesn't answer. Buffy gently grabs her by the shoulders. "Please, Will, did something happen to Xander?" 

"Buffy, I think he's fine." 

"What is it then?" 

"Buffy, he's…he's gone." 

"Gone, I don't understand?" 

"Buffy, let's go to the library." 

Willow is crying the whole way. Buffy doesn't want to torture her but she is really worried now. 

Rebecca, Giles, Oz and Cordelia are already at the library. When Buffy comes in she looks at everybody. 

"Oh, great. Does the whole world know but me." She goes right to Giles. 

"Where is he, Giles?" 

The watcher tries to calm her. "Would you please sit down, Buffy?" 

She ignores his request. "Where is Xander, Giles?" 

When Xander killed Coltar, the vampire monster, he made a new enemy. He is a super daemon named, Malcolm. Malcolm has sent a horde of bounty hunters to bring him Xander's dead body." 

Rebecca adds. "They will just keep coming until Xander is dead." 

"Okay, got it. Now, where's Xander?" 

"You don't understand, Buffy. He had to go away for his protection and ours." 

"I understand everything you're saying. But, one more time, where…is…Xander?" 

Giles doesn't answer. Buffy looks at everyone. "I'm losing patience, Giles. It's a simple question. Xander is not here. Where is he?" 

"We don't know." 

"What?" 

"Nobody knows." 

Buffy is barely able to control her panic or her anger. "Okay, now there's one thing you don't understand. It's not just Buffy and Xander anymore. We are together, soul mates, honeys. Everything Xander has to do with me. It doesn't work, You don't know where he is." 

"Buffy it is to protect us." 

"If you don't want to know, fine. I won't tell you. But, I want to know." 

"Buffy, it's to protect you most of all." 

Buffy is really getting angry. "Giles, you aren't listening. Pay attention. Xander and I are together. We are a team now. I go where he goes. Do you get that, yet!" 

Rebecca tries to get some of the heat off Giles. "Xander agreed because it would protect you and his friends." 

"If Xander wants to protect me then he should be here to do it." Buffy turns around to leave. She turns back around. She has more to say. 

"No, this isn't going down like this. I am not going to take this. Somebody knows where he is. I'll go through this town with a fine toothcomb. I'll go through every sewer and cave and alley. Somebody knows where he is!" 

Giles feels he has to say something. "Buffy, you are the slayer…" 

"I'm the slayer with a mission, Giles. Did you really think I would go along with this? I'll bet you Willow and Cordelia told you. I know who I am, Giles, but you don't. I am one pissed off vampire slayer. I'm the without her main and only squeeze vampire slayer. A mean and nasty son of a bitch!" 

"If you do find Xander it will probably mean the end for both of you." 

"Have I been talking to the wall, Giles. One more time with feeling. There is no me without Xander, anymore. That's the facts. That's more than Spike and Drusilla, Coltar and Malcolm, the master and, if it has to be, more than you. I go with Xander and he goes with me. Mister mature and protective better learn that, too!" 

Buffy storms off. For a few minutes nobody says a word. 

Finally Giles breaks the silence. "Well…that…ah…went well. Could we have volunteers to help with patrol until…they get back?" 

They set up a patrol schedule. The Scooby gang leaves. Rebecca and Giles talk. 

"We underestimated her love for him, Rupert. Even I did." 

"Yes…well…she does love him, doesn't she?" 

"I only see two outcomes, Rupert. Either she finds him or he'll come to her. It's too strong."

* * *

Buffy is angry and hurt. She is determined to find the man she loves. Nothing scares her more than being without Xander. They don't understand. Whatever the danger is they can face it together. 

"Protect me! Like I don't know what danger looks like." 

Buffy decides to visit the one who knows just about everything that happens anywhere in the daemon world, Whistler. 

He hates her visits but Buffy doesn't care right now. She looks for him at his favorite haunt. After awhile she hears his familiar whistle. He stops in front of her. 

"Are you still alive, slayer?" 

"You seem surprised." 

"You go from the frying pan to the fire, don't you?" 

"Is this a riddle, Whistler?" 

"Your new squeeze. First he kills your old squeeze, then Melcheck, Coltar. There isn't a beast, daemon or vampire who doesn't want his ass." 

"That's old news, Whistler. All I have to do is pay attention to know that. You know why I'm here." 

He goes to walk away. Buffy gets in front of him. "You know you can't keep anything from me, Whistler, you like me." 

"Some advice, just kiss him goodbye." 

"Not good enough!" 

"One word, slayer, Malcolm, assassins." 

"That's two words." 

"Three more words, out of your league." 

"You can't count, can you?" 

"Some things even I don't mess with. I don't know the answer to your question because I don't want to know." 

Whistler walks away. Buffy is very dejected. Before he fades into the distance he turns around. 

"Slayer, just do your job. Don't bother looking for him." 

Buffy walks away. Whistler's words come back to her. He never says anything that doesn't have a double meaning. She practically runs to the cemetery. Maybe, just maybe, Whistler was giving her a message. 

She stakes one vampire. Another maneuvers her to the wooded area, out of sight. It jumps on her. Once the two are down. "It's me, Buffy, don't hit me." 

"Xander?" 

"Yea, take my mask off." Buffy thanks Whistler in her mind. She pulls Xander into a kiss after taking his mask down. 

"Xander, don't leave me again!" 

"Buffy, I have to. I came tonight because I didn't get a chance to say goodbye but…" 

"Whatever it is we'll face it together." 

"Buffy, we have to trust Rebecca. If she says we can't handle this we have to believe her. I'll come to you when I can." 

"No, Xander, I'm the goddamn slayer, remember? And we're together. You don't get to do your rogue act anymore." 

"Xander is getting very upset. "I knew this was a mistake. Buffy, they're probably following you, already. Please?" 

Too late! An arrow rips into Xander's leg. Another tears into Buffy's shoulder slamming her into a tree. It momentarily knocks her out. Xander pulls himself out of the way as arrows zip all around him. 

He pulls the arrow from his leg. He moves away from Buffy, hoping the attackers will leave her alone. He hobbles to a freshly dug grave. He jumps in using the pile of dirt as a shield. He has to calm himself down and try to sense the location of the assassin. 

He quiets his breathing, concentrating his mind on the area surrounding the open grave. A terrifying thought quickly jumps into his mind. What if they killed Buffy? What if this grave becomes their burial place? 

In a sudden burst of rage Xander launches himself up and over the mound of dirt. He thrusts both feet to the chest of the monster standing before him. It recovers quickly to stomp Xander's wounded leg. Xander comes back with an uppercut to its jaw. The assassin bounces on a tree but then sends a Chinese star toward our hero. Xander half catches it but it still penetrates his skin. 

Xander grips it, sending it back toward his assailant. It catches the monster off guard imbedding in its leg. It goes down on one knee. 

This is all the opening Xander needs. Ignoring the now burning pain in his leg Xander follows with a vicious kick to the head. The boy grabs a sharp tree branch. He plunges it to the heart of the beast. It falls lifeless to the ground. 

In the mean time the rest of the gang comes to the cemetery. Willow calls to Xander. 

"Xander!" 

"Willow, Buffy is in the woods hurt." 

Rebecca goes to Xander. She sees the dead monster. "How many did you kill, Xander?" 

"Just this one, Rebecca." 

Willow is hit with an arrow as she tries to help Buffy. The second assassin then goes in the direction of Xander and Rebecca. 

Rebecca is hit with an arrow to the arm. Another just misses her head. She picks up Xander. They run away from the others, the assassin in hot pursuit. 

Rebecca pulls the arrow from her arm as she is running. She and Xander make their way toward a cliff overlooking the ocean. 

Rebecca is hit square in the back. She screams in pain, falling to the ground. The assassin hovers over her with a sword. Before he can finish her Xander ploughs into him from behind. The monster recovers to hit Xander with a rock, driving him toward the edge of the cliff. The assassin pushes him off the side. Xander manages to hold on with one hand. He grabs the leg of his assailant with the other, tripping him over the edge. 

It goes headlong down the cliff. Xander hears the squish of its head as it hits the first rock. 

Xander can't hold on any longer. He lets go. He slips down about six feet to a small revine. Bleeding heavily, his last thought is of Buffy as he slips to unconsciousness. 

Both Willow and Buffy are hurt. Oz and Cordelia take them to the hospital. Giles goes to look for Rebecca. 

The watcher finds her. She is conscious, although her clothes are heavily stained with blood. She is trying to look over the cliff for any sign of Xander. 

Giles runs to her. "Rebecca, are you alright?" 

"I'm fine, Rupert, but Xander…" 

She doesn't finish. 

Giles hugs her. "Rupert, he saved my life but, he must have went over the cliff. The last thing I saw was the assassin throwing him off." 

Giles immediately thinks of Buffy. "What did those kids have, two days together?" 

In tears, "They couldn't stay away from each other, Rupert." 

"I know, Rebecca, I know."

* * *

Rebecca and Giles go to the hospital. Rebecca gets attention. Willow, Oz and Cordelia are in the waiting room. Willow is bandaged. They kept Buffy a little longer because of her head wound. 

Willow looks at Giles. "Where is Xander?" 

Giles shakes his head. 

"No, Giles!" 

The watcher sighs, closing his eyes. Willow breaks down. Oz tries to comfort her but it is of little comfort to the witch. Xander was her best friend for most of her life. She was in love with him for most of her teenage years. She loves Oz with all her heart and soul but Xander was her first love. Part of her still loves him. Oz holds her as her sobs get softer. 

Rebecca comes to the waiting room. She sits down without speaking to anyone. 

Shortly after Buffy comes out of the emergency room. She looks at the faces of her friends. She gets short of breath. "Giles…Xander got away…right?" 

Giles doesn't answer but tears run down his face telling Buffy all she doesn't want to know. Still she questions him. 

"Giles, tell me he got away." 

Willow stops crying long enough to go to the slayer. Buffy doesn't want comfort. This can't be true. 

"No, Giles, you're wrong!" 

"Buffy he killed the one but there was a second. Rebecca tried to help." 

Buffy stares at Rebecca in horror. Her clothes are still stained with blood. 

The slayer holds up her hands. "No, this didn't happen…we didn't even get to be with each other enough. We didn't even get to go to the movies together, or spend a whole night at the Bronze together." 

"I never even told my mother I loved him. We never held hands in school." 

Buffy looks at Rebecca. "Where's his body, Rebecca?" 

They were fighting on the cliff. The last thing I saw he got knocked off, Buffy." 

"But, you didn't see his body?" 

"No, Buffy, but…" 

"Then maybe he got away." 

"I don't…" 

"I don't care. I'm not going to accept this!" 

Buffy runs outside. She slumps down against the wall. Rebecca goes to her. 

"He…knew. He…knew it was dangerous. He…wanted me to leave. I wouldn't listen…He knew. It was my fault again. 

"You love him. You want to be with him. You can't blame yourself, Buffy. Xander couldn't live without seeing you no matter how dangerous it was. You guys are too much in love. Don't ruin it with any blame." 

They hug. The rest of the gang comes out. Willow and Buffy embrace for a long time. 

Buffy is thoroughly destroyed. She goes home. She looks at herself in the mirror. 

This is too much to accept! She can't accept it!

He'll come back to me. I know he will. 

* * *

Xander's body lies perched precariously on a small landing; dried blood caked in four or five different places. His healing power seems to have stopped the bleeding but not before he lost quite a bit. 

If the weight of his unconscious body were to shift in the wind he would go head long down the rest of the cliff, joining his assailant as a stain on one of the many jagged rocks below. 

A hand reaches to him from a cave buried in the side of the cliff. With much effort it drags Xander's body off the edge of the ravine and into the cave. 

It is Rachel, Xander's savior, and his friend. Rachel, the non-violent vampire who loves Xander with everything inside of her. She cries as she strokes his hair. She prays in her heart she didn't get to him too late. She could not continue to live without Xander in her life. The times they were together were the best times of her long life. 

She has to nurse him back to life even if she can't have him.

* * *

For the next week Buffy is a real mess. She is really scaring Giles. He talks to Willow. 

"Giles, she is a real mess. She won't accept it. The only time she leaves her room is to go to the cemetery. I can't help her. I can't take it either, Giles. I love Xander." 

The redhead breaks down. Giles comforts her. 

"Willow, will you ask Oz to come see me today?" 

"Why Giles, why do you want Oz, Giles?" 

"Willow, Xander promised to help those three women from…" 

"No, Giles, you're not taking Oz. I'm not losing Oz too!" 

"Willow, this is still Hellmouth. We can't have everyone incapacitated." 

The redhead leaves very upset. She goes to Oz. 

"Willow, what's the matter, honey?" 

"Don't touch me, Oz!" 

"What's the matter?" 

"You're going to have to choose, Oz. I'm not Buffy. I'm not going to wait around while you get yourself killed. Don't even think I am." 

"Willow, what are you talking about?" 

"Giles wants you to help those fashion model witches Xander was going to help." 

Willow stares at him waiting to see his reaction. 

"So that's what you're upset about? Willow, you were the one who introduced me to this work." 

"I don't care Oz. If you go to help them we're through!" 

She storms away. Oz watches her walk down the corridor. 

The wolf then heads to the library.

* * *

Buffy is holding herself together with one hope; Xander is alive. 

"Please, God above, let him somehow be alive." 

As time passes that hope is ebbing away, however. The thing that bothers her the most is the way she treated him the last time they were together. She was obstinate and contrary as usual. 

Deep down Buffy knows what is going to happen to her if Xander really is dead. There will be no recovery. Slowly it will eat her up. One of these nights a vamp will get her because she has lost her edge. 

"Xander, please come to me. Please do something." 

Rebecca goes to visit her in the cemetery. 

"Can I talk to you a minute, Buffy?" 

Buffy nods her approval. 

"Give me a weather report, Buffy?" 

The slayer sighs. "Cloudy, getting more cloudy." 

"Is the sun anywhere in there, Buffy?" 

"Truthfully?" 

"We need to know, honey." 

"I might have been able to get along without Angel…but that was because Xander was there. He was always there." 

"I put all my eggs in his basket, Rebecca." 

"That's what I thought, Buffy. You guys play more serious than anybody I've ever seen. The stakes are high both ways." 

"You're a very wise woman, Rebecca." 

"Unfortunately it is of small value right now." 

"I'm not guilt tripping but, if it wasn't for Xander's concern for me I wouldn't be standing here without him. You taught him so much. His weakness is me." 

"And vice-versa, Buffy, don't forget that. But, I'm sure it was worth it. I know you agree with that. I have been amazed by you two." 

"That's the problem, Rebecca, there wasn't enough of Xander and I. I didn't even get a chance to show him what my love for him looks like." 

Rebecca comforts Buffy as she joins the slayer in mourning for her lover. 

"You know what? I'm a very practical woman but I'll tell you something. The one thing, which I cling to in my heart…Xander is the best I've ever seen at his age, the best ever! Part of me thinks…no,feels, he found a way. That he is not dead!" 

Both are in heavy tears. "Thank you, Rebecca, thank you."

* * *

Go on to Part Five 

* * *

  
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	12. Chapter 5-6

* * *

Part Five: The Raft Is Not the Shore 

* * *

Xander wakes in a dark place. He is lying on a comfortable straw bed with a pillow. He looks around. His eyes fall on a vision of grace and beauty. 

Rachel, the woman who is the only real rival for Xander's heart. If his love for Buffy wasn't destined and burned so deeply within him Rachel would have his heart melted. He gazes at her in admiration. 

"I was dead, wasn't I?" 

"Perhaps." 

"How did you find me, Rachel?" 

"I heard about the assassins. I've been keeping an eye on you." 

Xander stares at her with tears in his eyes. Rachel understands. She goes to him. 

"Xander, stop!" 

"Rachel I…" 

"Xander, I love you. I really love you. That means I don't ever want to see you sad. You do not make me sad. Your presence has given me reason to live. Dry your tears my young friend and lover. Get well so you can figure out how to unite with your slayer. I will help in every way that I can." 

"Rachel I don't know how to thank you. I…" 

Rachel interrupts him with a kiss. Xander cannot say he doesn't enjoy it. Rachel begins to cry. She breaks the embrace. 

"Xander, I am sorry…I'm so sorry." 

Xander, in tears, "Rachel, I don't know what to say to you." 

Rachel walks away. After she has composed herself she comes back to the bed. 

"I've already gone against what I said to you, Xander. I've already made you sad." 

Xander grabs her in a very warm hug. "Honey, from the very first moment we met you have done nothing but comfort me and heal me and love me. You have never, ever made me sad." 

Xander has Rachel lie down beside him, putting her head on his chest. He strokes her hair and face. 

"Rachel, I will never give up being your friend. I will never give up my love for you." 

"Xander, when I see your slayer I will tell her I kissed you but you told me of your love for her." 

"Thank you, Rachel."

* * *

Xander needs a plan. For now they think he's dead. It won't last long, however. Xander has a very intense pain in his heart and soul thinking of how Buffy must be suffering. He has to go to her but he must also think of the big picture. Something has to be done about this Malcolm fellow. If not Buffy and he will never be able to be together again. 

The Boy Wonder puts on a disguise then goes to see his favorite semi-good daemon, Whistler. 

Xander waits almost two hours before he hears the familiar whistle. 

"The disguise stinks. The fact that you're alive doesn't." 

They go inside. 

"You've sure made a target out of yourself, haven't you? You're the most dangerous man in the underground right now." 

"I try not to think about that too much. Can you help me Whistler?" 

"Oh, that's right, the new Romeo and Juliet….Here's the deal. I blindfold you. I take you somewhere. You don't ask any questions. I'll bring her if I can. Seventy-two hours, that's all you get. You do exactly as I say." 

"Agreed, thank you, Whistler." 

"I've always liked the slayer. You're good for her. You're good for the cause, too."

* * *

Whistler knocks Xander out. He takes him to an underground hideout far in the woods. 

Buffy is patrolling. Willow is with her. Business is slow. They sit down. 

"Everything is just empty, Will." 

"Rebecca says you guys will be legends." 

"That's funny." The slayer breaks down. "I don't want…to be…a…legend, I just want Xander." 

Willow joins her in mourning. After a few minutes Buffy stops, sensing danger. 

A hooded rider gallops into the cemetery after them. The rider seems to be after Willow. It runs her into a tree then dismounts and disappears. 

Buffy runs to her. Willow can sense it is a trap. "No, Buffy." 

It's too late. A figure runs to the slayer, spraying something into her face. Buffy collapses. Willow jumps up. 

"You bastard!" 

The hooded figure speaks to her. "She will be alright, Willow. Pick her up here in seventy-two hours." 

Willow is stunned. The rider picks up Buffy then rides away. 

The redhead runs to Giles house. Rebecca is there, also. Willow is completely out of breath. 

"Willow, what is it." 

"Buffy…she…she. A rider…on a horse." 

Rebecca has Willow sit down. 

The Witch tells them the story. 

"Rebecca looks at Giles, smiling. "You think its Xander?" 

"That would be my guess."

* * *

Part Six: The Hardest Thing He's Ever Done 

* * *

When Buffy wakes she is tied very securely to a chair, blindfolded. She thinks Spike and company have captured her. 

"I'm awake you undead bastards!" 

Xander is in an adjacent room with the door closed. When he hears her voice his heart soars. The door to his room opens. He sees Buffy. The only light in the room is a small bulb directly over her chair. Buffy has on her fighting togs, the ones that drive Xander crazy. 

Buffy's blonde hair glistens in the dim light of the room. Xander momentarily loses his breath as he gazes upon her presence. 

Xander doesn't want to give her a heart attack. He goes to her. He unties her. 

As the ropes fall the slayer removes the blindfold. She launches herself in the direction of Xander. Just as she is ready to pounce on him she stops. There is no mistaking the presence she senses. 

"Xander?" 

"Yes, it's me, honey." 

"Oh my God, Xander." 

She breaks out in tears. "Xander…Xander, is this a dream?" 

She reaches out to him on the ground. "It is you!" 

They both get up. She is sobbing. "Everybody thought…I knew…I knew, Xander. I knew you wouldn't leave me." 

Xander can only shake his head as he holds her. She loves him so much. She is so strong yet so vulnerable at the same time. 

He breaks the embrace. "Buffy, let me look at your face." He wipes away her tears. 

"Let me taste those lips." 

They share a kiss that speaks to the fact that they thought they might never see each other again 

Xander staggers out of the embrace. "Honey, we have to get into this other room." 

They walked through the door. After a minute they hear a voice. 

"About damn time!" A small food hatch on the door slams shut. 

The room is small but seems to have all the necessities. There is a stocked refrigerator, a stove, a small sink and a table on one end. The other end contains a double bed. A small room off to the side is the toilet and shower. 

All the comforts of home. 

Buffy looks at Xander. "Am I allowed to ask who slammed the door?" 

"No" 

"Somehow I didn't think so." 

Buffy jumps on Xander knocking him onto the bed. She starts to tickle him. He has to grab her hands to get her to stop. They melt into another kiss. 

"Xander, even though I knew you weren't dead somehow I still can't believe we're together again. How are you still alive, Xander? Rebecca saw the assassin throw you over the cliff." 

"A lot of it was a blur. I'll tell you the whole thing sometime but, not now." 

They kiss. Buffy breaks it off. 

Xander, I have to look at you while I can. I get the feeling we could be ripped apart at any second." 

Buffy starts crying again. 

"I swore if I ever got to see you, again…I can't stand it Xander. Let's go away…far. We can come back. We just need some time together." 

"We have this time now." 

"How long, Xander?" 

"We have about two and a half days." 

Buffy gets up, very upset. 

"This is completely unfair. You know you can't blame this on me being the slayer. This is you, Xander, all you. Why do you have to have every daemon in hell after you? Why do you have to be so goddamn hard? Why can't you be more like the old Xander?" 

Buffy, if I were more like the old Xander neither one of us would be alive now!" 

"Do you call this being alive?" 

Xander goes to her, gently grabbing her. 

"Honey, are we going to spend the little time we do have arguing?" 

"I can't stand it, Xander. I find out I love you. I find out I can't live without you. We get together then, bam, the world falls apart." 

"I know, Buffy, but right now it can be okay. We're together. It's beautiful. Let's enjoy it. There will be a time for crying. Right now let's party, babe!" 

Xander walks to the fridge. "We have good food and good wine. I can get you drunk and have my way with you. Buff, we have the makings of two mighty fine days and nights. What do you say we get started?" 

Buffy finally smiles. "I hope you know how to cook. I can hit a bull's eye at thirty yards with a cross bow but I can't boil water." 

"I'll cook, no problem. You just sit there and watch me." 

"Listen, stud, I intend to never take my eyes off of you, again." 

"I hope I can take the pressure." 

Xander cooks a big meal. They sit in the candlelight sipping wine, taking bites of their dinner and gazing intently at one another. Buffy has her hair brushed out. It sparkles in the flicker of the candle. Her whole face is aglow. 

"Buffy, if I could only relay to you what I'm feeling right now…Your beauty has me overwhelmed. You're this super-slayer but you have this sweetness and this…gentleness and, best of all, it's…all…mine!" 

"Okay, it's my turn. A certain little girl grew up and found a presence in her heart…and in her soul. She finally figured out what to do with it. She embraced it and rolled it around inside of her until it felt perfect. She looked up and it was you, Xander Lavelle Harris. And now you are sitting right across from me. I can dip from your well anytime I want to." 

"Wow, and what will you use as a ladle to do such a thing?" 

"I was thinking of using…my tongue, perhaps." 

"Oh, baby, I…I mean…" 

"What's the matter, big man, are you speechless? A little romantic talk from a slayer princess and you fall all to pieces?" 

Buffy takes a very deep dip into the interior of Xander's mouth. Her tongue does indeed drink from the waters of his soul. It takes Xander a few minutes to be able to talk. With action like this he doesn't care if he ever speaks again. 

"How is it possible for one woman to have so many answers for one man. 

They begin to kiss, again. They maneuver to the bed. 

The sweet deal encore. The cup runneth over with joy and good tidings. 

The satin smooth dance evolves to the rock and roll build up of bliss, the explosion of love fortune. 

Maybe it gets better somewhere but not on this planet! 

Buffy and her White Knight, together where they belong. Together with the world at bay. 

The mean world, the world where they hunt and are hunted by all the dark forces which invade children's dreams and take down adult lives. 

None of that right now…it's all out there…somewhere. 

Our heroes lie in silence for a good long time. Buffy breaks the quiet. 

"Rebecca said we play rough and hard but the results are kick-ass. I guess this is what she is talking about." 

"She is one hell of a woman." 

Buffy looks up into Xander's eyes. "You and her…didn't…you know?" 

"Yea, like I'm going to make it with a nine-hundred year old woman." 

"Oh, I see, your age range is say, three-hundred years?" 

"You know, I figured out something else about you. You hate bliss. We just had the most remarkable encounter two people have had in the last fifty years and you're talking about some little people somewhere in the past. Where I am right now there are only two people, you and I." 

"Okay, Xander, I won't torture you." 

Xander begins to get a very serious look on his face. 

"Oh no, I know what that face is. That's your super serious face. We don't want to see that face yet." 

Xander looks deep within her eyes. "I tell you one thing, Buffy Summers, we are not going to meet in the dark shadows for the rest of our lives. We're too young for this shit." 

"Xander, how did you get to be so unpopular so damn fast?" 

"I don't know, I thought I was such a lovable guy." 

"Do you want the truth?" Xander nods. "You use to be adorable, lovable, funny Xander. Now, you're still funny but you're hard, very hard, scary Xander most of the time." 

"Willow won't even talk to me." 

"I told you." 

"Every thing is so damn intense." 

"Are you talking about Hellmouth or us?" 

Laughing, "Both. Listen, Buffy, these guys, these bounty hunters….they're different. I was never so scared in my life." 

Buffy holds him. "That scene on the cliff could have gone either way, Buffy. I needed everything I had just to survive." 

"I understand, Xander, do you remember the first master? I thought he had me. He did have me. Then you…you…saved…me. Even way back then you loved me." 

Buffy starts to cry. Xander tries to comfort her but she steps away from her. After a few minutes she looks at him with as much sadness on her face as he has ever seen. 

"Xander…I…I'm so sorry…about the dance." 

Xander knows exactly what dance she is speaking about. The come on dance at the bronze to get Angel jealous. The one which tore out his heart. The pain is still there but he is not about to let that memory destroy the little time they have together. He goes to her. 

"Buffy, when you said those three little words to me the first time the pain from that moment left me." 

The slayer is still sobbing. 

"Buffy, do you know which words I'm talking about?" 

She nods. 

"Well, how about saying them to me again." 

Sniffing back the tears. "Xander, I…I love you so much." 

They embrace. "Then the pain is gone, Buffy. You loving me is a miracle. It's a healing miracle. That means your love takes away all of my pain and agony. It replaces it with a vision of you." 

"Xander, where do you get all those things you say to me?" 

"Buffy…they just come to me when I'm with you." 

Beneath all the joy of this reunion Xander has a deep secret. It is one of those things that will break Buffy's heart. He gets lost deep in thought. Buffy notices, of course. 

"Xander, what are you thinking?" 

"Nothing." 

"Come on Xander. As I told everybody, everything Xander is my business now. You're deep in thought and I know it has something to do with us." 

She starts poking him playfully in the ribs. "Out with it boy!" 

"When I first met you…you were the slayer and I was a high school nerd. I remember how you use to feel responsible for us and for good reason. Now that I'm…whatever I am I feel…" 

Buffy doesn't like where she thinks this conversation is going. "Look, Xander, this better not be a protect the slayer sermon. You may be a super underworld figure now but I'm not some little girl. Those conversations you and Giles have about protecting me are bullshit!" 

"You wanted me to love you. Well, now I do. We are together, Xander. Together through the good and the bad. No more secret talks with Giles about me." 

Xander begins to walk away. Buffy goes to him. 

"Do you understand that, Xander?" 

"Yes I do, Buffy, but that's not it." 

"I knew you were going to say that. Do you ever have any un-heavy thoughts anymore? Xander, whatever it is save it for the end." 

"Okay, honey." He pulls her to the bed. He straddles her. 

"Do you mind if I engage in a little Buffy watching? Oh, you ask, what exactly is Buffy watching? Well, I'm glad you asked. It started when this guy first saw this girl who dropped straight down from heaven. Now, some guys would need to touch such a woman to receive pleasure. But, I wasn't so greedy. All I needed to do was watch her. Nothing heavy, no stalking, just gentle watching. I had to do it illegally. Now, I don't go to jail for it." 

Xander starts to lick Buffy's arm. He works his way up to nuzzling her neck. She begins to giggle. "Now, I can even taste you." He gets her neck again." 

"Xander, you have two modes, super serious ( Xander nuzzles her neck again, she screeches) Ahhh!…and crazy." 

Xander gets down on all fours. He goes to the bottom of the bed. He looks menacingly at her. 

"The half-human, crazed, "One Of Them" stalks the mighty slayer princess." He begins to sniff her. He gets closer to her. "What is this I smell, fear…and excitement…and…and, oh my God, what is this?" He crawls up to her neck. "It's…its neck nectar." 

He really starts on Buffy's neck. She is laughing and squirming like crazy. 

"Xander…Xander, you have to stop. You'll give me a heart attack!" 

"Buffy, I love you so much but…" 

"But what, Xander?" 

He shakes something off. He gets very serious again. "Buffy, no matter what happens. Whether you understand it or not….Buffy, let's seal this moment." 

Xander kisses the palm of his hand then holds it up facing Buffy. He does the same with his other hand. He invites her to do the same. Then they slowly join them. 

"Now, in the words of one of the greatest lovers of all time, Romeo; cannot lips do what hands do, much sweeter?" 

If this were anybody but Xander trying to pull off a corny gimmick like this she might actually laugh at him. But Buffy just can't help it. He has her number and he knows it. 

His romantic ramblings usually wind up as butterflies buried somewhere in her stomach. This time is no different as they share as passionate a kiss as is possible on this earth. 

"Xander, how did you ever get to be this romantic?" 

They fall asleep together. As the night goes on they get closer and closer together. When they wake. 

Wow, Buffy, could we get any closer? I think we made love in our sleep. 

Buffy, while yawning, "You're crazy. How do you think of these things?" 

He doesn't answer. Instead he partakes of the delectable and delicious feast which is Buffy Summers. 

His Buffy Summers. The woman who now loves him more than anything else on God's good earth. 

This fact is enough to keep Xander fueled for a long, long time. 

If only this were the end of the pain. If only they could live happily ever after. 

When the festivities are over. 

"Buffy, is this real and everything else is unreal or…" 

The slayer puts her hand to Xander's mouth. "Stop there. We'll take it. We don't need to go any further. Now…where the hell is the cook?" 

Xander feigns disapproval. "You mean your mother never taught you anything in the kitchen. Let's see…Buffy, the slayer cook? Nah, you're right, I'll cook." 

Buffy watches Xander do the cook thing. The more see experiences him the more she is amazed by him. If only they could be normal people. If only Buffy had time to really show Xander how much she loves him. 

The slayer wonders what Xander has to tell her. What does he have to say that was causing him so much pain and deep thought? She shakes it out of her mind. 

Later Xander is in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. When Buffy comes in she playfully walks up his back with her fingers. Xander quivers. 

"I really love your little problem." 

"I've noticed." 

Xander turns to look Buffy in the face. "You want to know the most amazing thing about yourself?" 

"I'm all ears." 

Xander leads her by the hand back to the bed. They sit down. "Your love is too much. The volume of it and the depth of it.…and, it's all for me." 

"Yep, all for you." 

"You have all these intense feelings and emotions for me. All these hot love wires. To have gone through everything you have gone through and…and still be as loving and as nice as you are…words fail to describe you." 

"Xander, do you like never run out of nice things to say about me?" 

He puts his arm around her. "Honey, I haven't even begun to tell you about the wonderfulness of yourself, yet." 

Buffy sighs. "You know, Xander, you might love me and all but you don't realize what you are to me and what you mean to me. I don't have anybody else, Xander. I have you. You're every thing I need and everything I want." 

"That's amazing, slayer. I never thought I would ever hear you say such a thing." 

"The truly amazing thing, Xander, is that you never gave up. You kept loving me until I finally saw you." 

By mutual consent they stop talking. Xander jumps on top of Buffy. 

"Ride 'em cowboy." 

The slayer is embarrassed. "I hope nobody is watching us, Xander." 

"Yea, they might commit you." 

"Oh, sure! I have this madman on top of me who thinks he's a cowboy on a horse or something and you think they'll commit me." 

"Wait a minute. Let me see your ears." He carefully inspects each of her ears. 

"Phew! I was just checking to make sure you weren't a horse." 

"You bum!" She gets him under the arms. 

"Well, these are funny times, you know. All this daemon stuff. A boy can never be too careful" 

Buffy pulls Xander down to a kiss. "Will you shut up!" 

The slayer and her Romeo do what they should do, what they were created to do; love each other.

* * *

Xander wakes first. He knows this is their last hurrah for now. They face a very serious threat. Xander is going to do something, which is going to break his heart and Buffy's. It's necessary, although he knows Buffy will not see it that way. She almost got killed in the cemetery. Xander is not going to take a chance on that happening again. 

He sits on one of the chairs. He watches Buffy sleep. Tears start to flow freely down his cheeks. Buffy was wrong. Bringing back Angel was not the hardest thing he has ever had to do. 

This is! 

Weariness settles in. His heart is heavy with pain. 

As if sensing his discomfort Buffy wakes, reaching for him. When she doesn't feel him next to her she sits up. She looks at Xander who is staring at her. She can tell he has been crying. 

When she goes to him he is cold. He definitely has his game face on. 

"Xander, honey, speak to me." 

"When I fell off the cliff I landed on a small precipice. Somebody took me into a cave and nursed me back to life. It was Rachel." 

Xander closes his eyes and continues. 

"I spent a week with her. We got very close." 

He stops as he tries to compose himself to continue. Buffy is getting very worried. 

"I discovered my destiny, Buffy…" 

"Is this a joke, Xander, because if it's suppose to be a joke it is not funny!" 

"It's not a joke, Buffy." 

"Wait a minute, you're not about to tell me some bullshit "written in the stars" story about you and Rachel. I thought we were written in the stars? What is this, Xander? What are you doing?" 

"I'm trying to tell you as easy as possible." 

Buffy is still incredulous. "Xander, honey, please don't do this. We just had a magical two days. I love you and you love me." 

Xander doesn't answer. 

"This can't be happening." 

"I didn't mean for it to happen, Buffy." 

"Why, why the last two days, then?" 

He still doesn't answer. 

"This is a nightmare. This isn't happening." 

Buffy is too stunned to even cry. She grabs his shoulders, looking straight into his eyes. Xander tries to show only hardness. 

"I want you to look at me and tell me you don't love me." 

"We're through, Buffy. It's over. I'm sorry." Xander goes over to the door. He opens the food hatch. 

"You'll wake up in the cemetery. Willow will be there." 

Buffy pleading, "Xander, don't let me go like this." 

He turns his back on her. 

"Xander, please?" 

"Buffy, will you just go. Go back to Sunnyvale and recover. Go back and be the slayer. There are a lot of people depending on you." 

Buffy goes to him. "You bastard!" She hits him! 

The door opens. A hooded man enters, spraying something in her face. She collapses. He takes the hood off. 

"Was it worth it?" 

"Only if it turns out right, Whistler." 

"I've helped you as much as I can, kid. From now on forget you know me." 

"Thanks, Whistler." The daemon knocks Xander out.

* * *

Go on to Part Seven 

* * *

  
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	13. Chapter 7

* * *

Part Seven: Will Xander Ever Get The Message? 

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: In the dialog of this chapter there is a not so hidden reference to a movie in which our favorite redhead gets to act very much out of her Willow character. See if you can catch it! 

Xander wakes in a strange place. The first thing he does is cry. Looking at Buffy's face when he rejected her was the worst thing he ever had to witness. But, he had to do it, damn it! 

Buffy is the most together and efficient person in the world but when it comes to her heart she doesn't always see the big picture. Xander loves Buffy. He has always loved Buffy but he also knows who she is. She is the slayer. She is the most important person in this whole brutal business. Her safety and welfare comes first. 

Giles and Xander have this unwritten agreement. The only reason Giles trusts Xander with Buffy is because he knows Xander takes her vocation seriously. As angry and upset as Buffy gets when the two of them go into their "protect the slayer" routine, the watcher and the Boy Wonder will continue to make decisions to protect her first and foremost. 

He knows Buffy gets very upset when he gets into this mode. It really tears him up to give her this much grief but he is determined that they are not going to love in the shadows. He wants to be able to scream their love on the mountaintop, declare it to all the nations, announce it everywhere. 

Malcolm has to go! 

Xander has a plan. It requires that the world think he and Buffy have split up. He only hopes Buffy remembers everything he said.

* * *

Buffy wakes in the cemetery. At first all she remembers is having been with Xander. She begins to smile but then the memory of the breakup hits her. She starts to sob. Willow is there. She runs to her. 

"Buffy, what's the matter?" 

Buffy buries her head on Willow's shoulder. "Xander¼he¼" 

"What did Xander do, Buffy?" 

"He¼he¼dropped me for Rachel." 

Willow can't believe it. "What?" 

Buffy is still in tears. "She¼she saved his life. They¼fell in love, Willow." 

"Buffy, I am so sorry." 

Buffy's sadness is interrupted by the presence of evil. It is Mr. Harris and Spike. 

Xander's father approaches Buffy in mock concern. "Whatever could have you so sad my dear. I thought you and my pathetic son were finally together?" 

Spike answers. "It seems your son has been a very nasty boy. He dumped her!" 

"You really have great luck with men, don't you?" 

The vampire continues his sarcastic tirade. "I don't like the boy much but I must say this is a very delicious development. Anything to weaken the little slayer girl." 

"Why don't I take my grief out on a member of the family." 

Spike talks. "Your ex is worth his weight in blood right now. We'll deal with you later." 

Mr. Harris has more to say as they slither back into the darkness. "You're such a little girl to have such grief. I love it! After we drink Xander's blood we'll bring you his body." 

Spike adds. "Well, Mr. Harris that is such a nice gesture." 

They leave. Buffy turns to Willow. 

"Only in Hellmouth does the whole world and underworld know your business almost before it even happens to you." 

"You can't even grieve in peace." 

"Our time was so beautiful, Will. It was absolute magic but¼but then Xander¼he¼he looked right into my eyes¼he said¼he¼" 

Willow is shocked. "He told you he didn't love you?" 

"He said we were through." The slayer thinks back to something. 

He never said he didn't love me. 

I asked him but he never said he didn't love me. All he said was we were through. 

* * *

Xander is going to try to take Malcolm out. He is hoping Buffy and he can team up to do it. They don't have much of an advantage against him but at least they can have the element of surprise. The whole world thinks Xander dumped the slayer. He hopes they continue to think that. At least until they get to the daemon. This might be their only chance. 

With them not together, anymore, Xander is hoping no one will be tailing Buffy. 

The boy sneaks into the woods around Sunnydale. He goes to a place he knows Willow and Oz frequent for one of their many make-out sessions. As he lies waiting for them he reflects on his friend, Willow Rosenberg. 

He and the redhead have come a long way. Although they aren't nearly as close as they once were they still have a bond. Willow is Buffy's best friend, however. She is loyal as loyal can be. A part of him is afraid to face her. She will, of course, take Buffy's side on this. She will be very pissed off at him. 

His waiting is rewarded. Willow and Oz stroll amorously into the woods. They take a seat on a near-by log. Xander has himself buried in the leaves and shrubs behind the log. He speaks to them. 

"Willow, don't turn around. It's me, Xander." 

"What the hell did you do to Buffy, Xander?" 

"Please, Willow, just listen to me?" 

"You wanted Buffy to love you, Xander, remember? That's all you ever wanted. Well, she does love you and all you ever do is torture her. You know, Xander, she is very vulnerable around you. Why do you have to hurt her like this?" 

Oz tries to calm Willow down so Xander can deliver his message. 

"Tell Buffy to walk through Grand Woods on her way to patrol tonight." 

Oz responds. "We'll tell her, Xander. Hey bro, before you go, I took care of Kathleen's problem with help from Linda and Stacy." 

"Thanks man, I owe you one." 

"It was free. We'll tell Buffy." 

Willow and Oz walk toward Buffy's house. The redhead is very upset. Oz questions her. 

"What's the matter, honey?" 

"You did it anyway, didn't you?" 

Oz didn't tell Willow that he went up to help the three witches. He blew it! 

"Willow, I'm sorry." 

"No, you're not. It's business, part of the stupid "big picture" you and hard Xander care about." 

"Willow, I try never to do anything to get you upset but it's not fair for you to take this hard line with me. You face danger all the time. I don't like it but I know it has to be done. I'm not trying to be a hero, Willow, I'm just trying to do my part for Buffy and for the cause." 

Willow softens. "Oz, I cannot lose you. It's so hard for me to keep my head above water. I wasn't made for this stuff, Oz. It scares me half to death most of the time." 

They embrace. "Willow, I will be very, very careful. I¼just¼I just need to feel I'm doing my part. You and Buffy are really hard on Xander but all he is doing is trying to help, too. It was Buffy's fault all this stuff started happening to him." 

"Why, because she fell in love with him? That's not fair, Oz." 

"Okay, honey, I don't want to fight with you." 

"I can't do what Buffy and Xander do, Oz. I can't have big fights with you all the time. I don't want that kind of relationship." 

"Either do I, Willow." They embrace for a long time. When they break they enjoy a very passionate make-up kiss. 

"This is what we do best, Oz." 

"You are such a wise woman, my red-headed beautiful genius." 

"Are you trying to get me to sleep with you or something, Oz?" 

"Not a bad idea. I'm glad you thought of it." 

"She goes in front of the wolf, grabbing him gently by the shoulders. 

"What's my name, BI¼?" 

They laugh and flirt and coo over each other as they go to Buffy's house. 

* * *

The slayer is devastated. She lies on her bed after school. This was a different feeling then when she thought Xander was dead. This is worse. He's alive but isn't hers. 

Two things rattle through her mind. At one point during their two days together Xander told her that even if something happened which she didn't understand he still loved her. The other thing is that he didn't say it. He didn't say he didn't love her. 

Buffy is strong and confident and efficient as the slayer. She is probably the best slayer, ever. But, she is also a young woman, a very sensitive and loving young woman. 

Her heart is open and bare in front of Xander. She has never been as vulnerable with anyone else, not even Angel. The Boy Wonder has impressed himself into her soul at a depth that overwhelms her at times. 

Buffy just cannot help herself when it comes to Xander Lavelle Harris. He is that good. The slayer picks up her diary, remembering the fuss Xander made when she wouldn't let him read it. 

Gees, a girl has to maintain just a little dignity. If Xander ever reads this! 

Willow knocks on Buffy's door. The slayer lets her and Oz into her house. 

"Okay, Buffy, we were in the woods. A mysterious voice asked us to tell you to walk through Grand woods on your way to patrol tonight." 

"Please tell me it was Xander?" 

"It was Xander." 

Buffy's heart flutters but then she gets angry. "He's crazy if he thinks I'm going to come running to him!" 

"Buffy, don't be hard Buffy." 

"I don't know what to expect, Will." 

"Who would ever have thought that Xander would be even more mysterious than Angel?" 

The slayer ponders that. "Yea, I don't know if this is one of those "protect the slayer princess" things or if he really is in love with Rachel? Either way I am majorly pissed. Xander needs a basic course on what it means to be in a deep relationship." 

Willow cringes. "Are you guys going to have one of your mega-battles, Buffy?" 

"I hope not, Willow, but, if I go to him and this isn't some kind of tearful reunion I don't know what I'm going to do." 

* * *

Buffy walks through the woods. At one point she passes a big tree. A figure grabs her, pulling her into the brush. She struggles to get free. 

"It's me, Buffy!" 

"I know." She punches him. He falls down. She picks him up and punches him again. Then she kneels beside him on the ground. 

"Those two punches cover either possibility, Rachel or, Buffy protection." 

Xander looks at the slayer, moaning. "How about a third possibility?" 

"It better be a good one. I have at least one punch left in me!" 

"I don't know if Malcolm is still having you followed or not so we don't have much time. You said you wanted to do everything together. This is our chance. I want you to help me fight Malcolm. I had to have the world believe we weren't together anymore." 

Buffy is looking at him with a very disgusted expression on her face. "The daemon world already knows." 

The boy continues. "Nobody will suspect you helping me now." 

"Xander, when you have someone's heart in your hands you have to be careful what you do with it." 

The slayer starts to cry. Xander tries to comfort her. She stops him. 

"Let me get this straight. You took a chance on breaking my heart so we could fight Malcolm together?" 

"Buffy, how much can we be together if we have to dodge assassins all the time?" 

"Xander, when we get a break from all this we are going to have a long conversation about our relationship. Apparently, you have no idea how much I really need you. I don't think you understand the extent of what I feel for you. You can't do things the way you do. It's¼it's too much. You have to take it easy with me." 

"Xander, I know this is my world¼and, you got into it for me and, everything you do is for me. But¼" 

The slayer stares at Xander. He doesn't understand and she knows it. Xander's ways are too scary, always on the edge, always dodging monsters. All this clandestine stuff gets to her. She would rather battle evil out in the open with Xander by her side even if they don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning. Neither he nor Giles get that. 

"Buffy, honey, I counted on two things. I told you, even if something happened you didn't understand I still loved you. And, when you asked me directly if I still loved you I didn't answer. Now, tell me those things weren't uppermost in your mind, Buff?" 

How well Xander knows her. "That was the only thing that stopped me from going off the deep end, Xander." 

"Buffy, I am so sorry. Please, honey?" He goes to her. They embrace then launch into a very passionate kiss. 

"Will you help, Buff? Don't answer too quickly, honey, we're going to be in deep shit all the way." 

"It's a love thing, Xander. Remember, kick ass good, high stakes bad. Try to keep me from it!" 

"We need people who wouldn't be suspect right now. I figure Giles and Cordelia." 

"Cordelia?" 

"It's a five person gig. Nobody would guess her." 

"Xander, are we ever going to have any above ground time together?" 

"I hope so, Buffy. I can't stand this either." 

"I know you can't, Xander. I'm sorry I hit you, sweetie." 

"I was beginning to think you were trying to rearrange my jaw, like maybe you didn't like the way I kiss anymore so you¼" 

She doesn't let him finish. "Do you always have to talk so much?" 

They embrace in another kiss. 

"Now, we are through with the theatrics, right? No more "fooling Buffy for her own good" stuff." 

"Okay. If Giles agrees we'll do it next week." 

"And how many times will I see you in that week?" 

"Buffy, we can't take the chance." 

"You always have to be so damn practical. Do you know what deprivation can do to a person?" 

"Buffy, I have to go." The Boy Wonder leaves. 

* * *

Buffy sees Willow the next morning. 

"So, what's the news on the Xander front?" 

"He gets me so mad, Willow. He took a chance on breaking my heart so he and I could team up to go after Malcolm." 

"Go after Malcolm. Oh Buffy, even Rebecca is scared of Malcolm." 

"He thinks we can do it. That's why he staged our breakup. Nobody will suspect me if Xander dumped me." 

"When did Xander get to be "big plan man"?" 

"He wants me to ask Giles and Cordelia, too." 

"How about me?" 

"Everyone would expect you to help, Will. Our only chance is catch them off guard." 

"Do you agree with our dear brother?" 

"Don't ever tell him this, Willow, but I actually trust Xander. In addition to loving him and wanting him and needing him I also trust him with my life." 

"Wow, Buffy, that's a lot!" 

"I know, Will." 

Buffy, I don't think I knew how much you really love Xander until now. Girl, he really and truly has you, doesn't he?" 

"Every time I see him I fall in love with him all over again." 

"That's almost scary, Buffy." 

"Tell me about it! Willow, so much has been happening. You and I really didn't even get a chance to talk¼you know, about Xander and I getting together." 

Willow gets nervous. Buffy notices. "I'm sorry I¼I knew you still¼" 

"It's okay, Buffy, I have Oz." 

"Willow, I know you. I know it hurt you. I want the truth, Willow Rosenberg. The whole truth!" Willow starts to tear up. "You know I've always loved Xander. I can't help it, Buffy. I¼I never thought you would¼you know¼actually love him. It hurts¼I mean when I see how deeply Xander loves you¼and how happy you make him. I¼I get jealous. But, I really and truly am happy with Oz. My feelings for Xander were never as strong as my feelings for Oz. It's just¼" 

Buffy hugs Willow. Both are in tears. "I'm so sorry, Will. I didn't think I could ever love him, either. It just¼happened." 

"Buffy, you deserve his love. And, he is in paradise. He still can't believe you love him." 

"I don't know about that." 

"You don't think he loves you?" 

The slayer sighs. "I know he loves me, Will, but, he's¼so damn independent and his friends scare me." 

"Rachel?" 

"The way she looks at him. She doesn't even have the courtesy to be subtle about it. All of them, it's like they're just waiting for me to slip or make a mistake so they can jump right in." 

"I know what you mean, Buffy, but, I have to say that he loves you and only you. It doesn't matter how many women are around. You are it for him. Believe me, I know." 

"Thank you, Willow." They hug. 

"How about you and Oz?" 

"He went behind my back to help Xander's witch friends." 

"That's harsh, Will!" 

"I told him not to do it but he did it anyway!" 

Buffy stares at the redhead, very surprised at her hard stance on this. 

"Why are you staring at me, Buffy?" 

"I didn't like them either, Will, but they are part of Xander's so called friends network." 

"I know about taking care of business but do all his friends have to be so damn beautiful? And¼is Oz going to get all dangerous like Xander. Buffy, Oz is only a Werewolf. He doesn't have any healing power or anything." 

"But, I'll bet he doesn't want to even hear about being careful, right?" 

"They're two of a kind, Buffy." 

"We are not going to put up with this all the time, Willow. As soon as things calm down, if they ever calm down, we are going to have a long talk with our lovers. They will change!" 

"Tell me more about Xander's plan, Buffy." 

"He figures it's a five person job." 

"Who's the fifth person?" 

"What?" 

"It's you, Xander, Giles and Cordelia. Who is the other person?" 

"It's probably one of his groupies." 

They get to the Library. Buffy goes to Giles in his office. 

"Giles, I saw Xander." 

"Are you straightened out?" 

"We¼ are but¼Xander wants¼to go after Malcolm." 

"What? Out of the question, Buffy. It would be suicide. As good as you two are¼don't you listen to Rebecca?" 

"Giles, it's the only way Xander will be able to come back to Sunnydale." 

"Buffy, I don't want to shock you but your Xander has moved up a notch. What he is doing now is very much a part of what he is now but you can't¼" 

The slayer interrupts him. "Giles you're my watcher. You're supposed to look out for me. I cannot function without Xander." 

"Wait a minute, Buffy, let's just say¼by some unbelievable miracle we did manage to kill him. That's not the end of it you know. Xander's reputation is already much too big. Rebecca has been around a long, long time. Even she isn't as marked as Xander is now." 

"Giles, you don't understand." Buffy starts to tear up. "I need him. I need him more than I ever needed Angel. He makes sense of my life, Giles." 

"Buffy, I have never had a slayer as complicated as you." 

"Giles, will you just listen to the plan?" 

"Okay." 

Buffy tells him the whole thing. 

Giles would love to get Malcolm. He has a personal stake in it. When he was a young watcher in England Malcolm killed one of his slayers. 

It took Giles years to get over it. He swore he would hunt Malcolm until he killed him but his watcher's duties always took precedence. 

He has been doing research on "One of them". He thinks Xander might be able to regenerate his own life. Rebecca has that power but he wasn't sure if Xander shared this particular trait with his mentor. Obviously, Xander was thinking of this particular possibility when formulating his plan. 

Giles is actually impressed with it. It is very simple and direct. He is quite impressed with Xander's ability to pull off a breakup between he and Buffy. This is information he will not share with the slayer, however. 

"All I will tell you, Buffy, is that I will review it with Rebecca." 

"Giles, I'm not a kid, anymore. If the slaying didn't make me grow up my relationship with Xander has. This is not a crush. This is not a kid clinging to her security blanket like with Angel. This is the real deal, Giles. We are soul mates, for life. Xander told me I was going to be the first slayer to see her twenty-first birthday. I believe him!" 

"I get it, Buffy, I'm not completely insensitive to these things. I'll get back to you." 

Giles tentatively approaches Rebecca. She is shocked! 

"An open attack on Malcolm, Giles?" 

"Well, not exactly an open attack. I'm sure you heard of Xander's break-up with Buffy." 

"And, as soon as I heard about it I knew he had something up his sleeve. Giles, it is ridiculous. It's foolhardy. It is next to impossible. Your personal stake in this wouldn't be clouding your better judgement, would it, Rupert?" 

"Buffy might be clouding my better judgement." 

"They would both rather face death than have a future with only sporadic glimpses of one another." "James Dean, live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse!" 

Rebecca looks at Giles wide-eyed. "Why, Giles, you surprise me." 

"I haven't always been a stodgy librarian as a cover, you know." 

"Yes, Rupert, I remember. I think we better hone your fighting skills, Cordelia's, also." 

Giles is very surprised. He runs down the entire plan, as he knows it. Giles can read Rebecca's facial expression 

"Then it has your blessing?" 

"Rupert, I am not going to stand in the way of the new Romeo and Juliet. But, I will try to discourage them. Of course, knowing our Xander and Buffy and you the way I do, I don't think it will matter." 

"Me, I'm merely an objective observer." 

"Rupert, I can see that gleam in your eyes. It's okay; these young people are exciting. They think they can move mountains. If you don't mind I will talk to Buffy and the others. I will have a separate talk with Cordelia. If my guess is right she will be the prime slayer in this one." 

"By all means talk to them, Becky. Don't hold anything back."

* * *

Go on to Part Eight 

* * *

  
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	14. Chapter 8

* * *

Part Eight: Xander, She Is Going To Kill You! 

* * *

Giles tells Cordelia to see Rebecca. The brunet goes to her house. 

"I'll get right to it, Cordelia. Our Xander has come up with a plan to kill Malcolm. He would like you to participate." 

Xander's ex is very proud that she would be considered for such a mission but, also, scared to death. "Malcolm, isn't he like only one or two steps away from being Satan himself?" 

"I guess you could say that. Cordelia, I won't sugarcoat it for you. The chances of any of you coming back alive are quite slim." 

"I'd have to be crazy to do it, right?" 

"Well, if it's going to be successful you would have a lot to do with it. That's why I'm talking to you separately. I would have to teach you how to behead someone." 

"You mean I wouldn't just be along for the ride." 

"I don't know Xander's full plan but I think that would be a fair assessment. It would be very hard to do without you." 

"I'll have to think about it, Rebecca." 

"As it should be, Cordelia." 

The gang gathers together. Willow, Oz, Buffy and two new recruits, Amy and Devon. Willow recruited her fellow witch. Oz got Devon involved. Giles and Rebecca are there, too. 

Rebecca is very serious and somber. She makes eye contact with everyone there. 

"All of your activities prior to this have been child's play. Malcolm has been around longer than your combined ages. He started out as a vampire hit man. He has killed at least ten slayers. If you add watchers, friends and families of slayers, he has killed close to two hundred people just during his hit man days. This does not even count those countless thousands he has fed upon." 

Everyone is motionless as they pay strict attention to every word out of Rebecca's mouth. 

"For the last century he has been going for power and control of the underworld. He completely eliminates the competition. He takes absolutely no prisoners. Actually, Xander is small game for him. If it wasn't for Coltar he wouldn't give him the time of day." 

"Malcolm has a mansion on the Pacific Coast highway midway between L A and San Francisco. He supports himself with drugs. His personal body guards number between twenty-five and thirty. I tangled with him twice. Both times he killed me but didn't get my head. Occasionally he contacts me to remind me of the baseball adage; three strikes and you're out. If I went with you we would all get killed." 

"I'm sure Xander knows what I'm about to say next. Buffy, you might want to leave for this part." 

"Try and get me out of here!" 

"So be it. Neither Xander nor Buffy will be able to kill him. He'll sense the presence of both of them. One or both of them will probably have to give up their lives for us to be successful." 

Buffy is visibly shook. She knows Xander would never plan her death. 

"I'll be damned! Giles, I have to see Xander. I can't believe him!" 

The slayer gets up. She is very upset. When Oz sees how upset Buffy is he gets up himself. It is obvious the wolf doesn't like Buffy's response. Buffy notices. "What's up, Oz?" 

"Nothing." 

"No, come on. You and Xander are cut from the same cloth. I know you don't think there's anything wrong with his plan. Do you, Oz?" 

"What the hell do you want him to do, Buffy? He's supposed to try to protect you. That's his¼" 

Buffy interrupts. "That is not his job! I never agreed to that. That's some gentlemen's agreement between my oh so wonderful watcher and my ever chivalrous boyfriend. I see you're in on it, too. How nice!" 

Oz shakes his head. "Instead of thanking God you have yourself as good a man as Xander, you have to give him grief at every turn. I don't know how he takes it. All that shit for you!" 

Willow jumps in. "Oz, you're out of line here!" 

Buffy answers. "Look, Oz, I love Xander. I don't want him dead. Is that so hard to understand?" 

Willow jumps right in. "It's hard to understand if you're dumb. Buffy doesn't want Xander to die for her, Oz. Do you get that?" 

"We work on the Hellmouth. Everything we do is dangerous. Xander has been facing it for years. All of a sudden¼" 

Willow interrupts him. "Stop it right now, Oz. You and Xander don't know everything. Buffy is not going to feel bad just because she fell in love with Xander. I'm not going to feel bad just because I need you, either. What we are feeling is part of the whole love thing. When we have more time we are going to have a long, long talk with you and mister dangerous." 

Everyone looks at Willow. The discussion is over! Giles changes the subject. 

"In addition to being evil in his own right it seems our Malcolm might have a more sinister place in the Hellmouth business in the near future. We are looking for the rise of a new Master. He is suppose to seek the aide of a most powerful earth based daemon. I believe Malcolm would fill that role quite easily." 

Something occurs to Buffy after hearing this "Giles, do you think Xander is aware of this connection?" 

"Yes, I'm sure he is, why?" 

Buffy closes her eyes, shaking her head. Her heartthrob is simply too much. He wants to kill Malcolm before he can merge with the new master. This is the real reason for all of this. His worst nightmare was when the old master killed her. He doesn't care if he gets killed doing it, either, as long as he can save her some grief. 

He has actually dedicated his life to her. His love is as deep as love can get. But, the one thing he doesn't get. The one flaw in his thinking, the missing piece to the puzzle is the fact that Buffy loves him just as much as he loves her. 

She would also give her life for him, in a heartbeat, without question. She can't bear to see him in pain, either. She hasn't even made it up to him for all the pain she caused him. 

Neither of them gets a chance to work anything out. They are always on the run, always one step from death, always chasing this or that daemon. It is completely unfair! 

Buffy is a little more aware of what they are missing than Xander. Sometimes he gets so wrapped up in saving her and protecting her that he overlooks some essential relationship things. 

Buffy has to save him from himself sometimes. This is one of these times. She has to see him. 

"Giles, I have to see Xander very soon. I don't care how hard or dangerous it is. I have to see him!" 

Giles has seldom seen Buffy with as serious a look on her face as she has now. He looks at Rebecca. They talk in his office. 

"Rebecca, do you think you can talk to her?" 

"No, I'm going to arrange a meeting." 

The watcher sighs. He resigns himself to the fact that Buffy follows her own rules sometimes. This is one of those times.

* * *

A meeting is arranged in the woods. Xander comes to Buffy. He tries to put his arms around her. She pushes him away. 

"What's the matter, now?" He tries to touch her, again, with the same result. 

"Keep your hands off me, Xander!" 

"Oh great, slayer." 

"What game are you playing with me?" 

Xander senses that Buffy knows at least part of his real plan. He has to see just how much 

"Come on, Buffy, we all might lose our lives." 

The slayer is really pissed off. "You're still trying to play! Let's drop all the bullshit, Harris. You want to get Malcolm because he is going to get together with the new master. Your plan is to give up your life so I won't have to face the two of them later." 

"Buffy, what about the assassins?" 

"Xander, I know you. You might have come up with the plan, at first, to get the heat off you but, once you heard about the master connection, that's when you added the part about you giving up your life to insure a victory." 

Buffy definitely hit the nail on the head. He starts to walk away. Buffy goes to him. 

"Look, Xander, you are wrong in this. I am going to save you from yourself. I'm going to save the both of us. You don't quite get the part about me needing you¼alive!" 

She puts her finger in his face. "We are together, connected, inseparable. If you want to protect me then come up with a plan for us to live, both of us!" 

"No hugs, no kisses. Revamp, revise, redo, whatever, just think, both of us, together. I don't want your memory or your spirit. I want you, alive and healthy." 

"Do you understand, Xander?" 

He nods 

"We'll meet in three days ready to go. No tears, no frills, no bullshit! Let's get it done and have a party." 

Xander goes to embrace her. She stops him. "Save it, I'm serious, Xander!" 

He grabs his heart. "I get it, right here." 

"Good, the quicker you get it the quicker we'll get together." 

She storms away. Xander just stares. 

* * *

After much angst Cordelia agrees to do it. Willow has done some hacking into Malcolm's lavish security system. She has a printout of the entire system. 

The night arrives. Xander shows up at the predetermined place. He hugs everyone but Buffy. Willow and Cordelia notice. They look at each other. Xander goes to Cordelia. 

"This is pretty heavy, are you ready?" 

Cordelia hugs him. "Bring me back alive, Xander." He squeezes her tight. Buffy gives him a sideways glance but doesn't say anything. 

The slayer is dressed all in black, as are Giles and Cordelia. 

Xander talks to the group. "A fifth person will join us. She can get into the fortress without being seen. She also knows his getaway place. The plan is simple. I'm sure Giles has explained it in detail. It either works or it doesn't." 

Xander continues. He looks at Buffy. "Buffy and I will go into the place. We might not win but at least we should be able to weaken him so Giles and Cordy have a chance." 

Giles speaks. "Who is the fifth person, Xander?" 

"Rachel" When Xander says this he can feel Buffy's eyes on him. 

The watcher comments. "Of course, she solves the problem of being seen by the video cameras." 

"Malcolm will probably sense her but she will only be the decoy. Hopefully, by the time he senses Buffy and I we will be inside." 

Buffy goes to Xander. "Xander, how did you get Rachel to help?" 

"Buffy, we're playing it by your rules, all business!" 

The slayer agrees. "Until it's over." 

"Are you ready, Buffy?" 

"Let's kick ass!" 

Giles goes over everything one more time. Rebecca giver everyone a pep talk. They are as ready as they will ever be. 

They drive as close to Malcolm's fortress as they can without raising suspicion. They walk to a hill that overlooks the compound. Giles double-checks everyone's gear. Buffy taps Xander on the shoulder, calling him to follow her. She ducks behind a tree. When Xander appears she embraces him in a most passionate kiss. Xander is shocked! 

"I know what I said¼but I want to spend our last moments in my favorite position, locked onto your lips and tongue." 

"I won't argue." 

Giles comes over to them. "If you two don't stop it you'll set off the alarms." 

They reluctantly break. "Let's kick ass, slayer!" 

"There better be two of him. One ain't gonna be enough!" 

Xander goes to Rachel. He hands her a knockout grenade. "You toss this in then give it ten seconds to work." 

"Okay, Xander." 

"I know you're nervous, Rachel." They exchange a warm hug. 

"Thank you very much, Honey." 

Buffy approaches Rachel. The vampire is understandably uncomfortable around the slayer. They both love the same man. Buffy knows, however, Xander values his friends. She swallows whatever jealousy she may feel. 

"Rachel, thank you for your help." 

Buffy smiles warmly. Rachel is really impressed. She lets out a sigh of relief. She can sense the genuine gratitude on Buffy's part. This is a very important moment. Xander definitely notices their interaction. The slayer continues. 

"Thank you, also, for saving Xander's life." Buffy hugs Rachel. 

"Thank you Buffy." Rachel walks away. 

Xander walks to Buffy. He stares at her with furrowed brow. 

"Are you trying to blow my mind, princess?" 

"I thought I might give it a try." 

"I just fell in love with you, again." They kiss. 

Rachel enters the compound. She is holding a cat. As soon as she hears the alarm she releases the cat. She then races for the control booth. She throws the knockout grenade through the window. When the guards are knocked out she puts a videotape in the machine then shuts the alarm off for five seconds. She then takes the tape out. 

Buffy and Xander jump through. There are nine guards between them and Malcolm. They take them out one by one. 

In the mean time Rachel has made her presence known. Malcolm senses her, sending guards in her direction. 

Xander and Buffy make their way to Malcolm's room. They bust right through his bay window. He sensed their presence too late. They stand before him. 

Once he recovers from the shock of them penetrating his privacy he speaks to them. 

"Pretty good, kids, but, now what?" 

Xander speaks up. "We take you out." 

"So, you're the Boy Wonder? You look more like a dork than a daemon fighter." 

"That's what Coltar thought, too." 

Buffy sends a Chinese star his way. Malcolm catches it in two fingers, flinging it back in her direction. She barely avoids it. 

Xander gets him point blank in the chest with the crossbow. It only stuns him for a few seconds. He pulls it out. "I'm not a vampire, kid." 

Buffy circles him. "If you're such a bad ass why do you have so many things guarding you?" 

"All the bad guys have them. It's the in thing to do." 

Xander puts another arrow into him. When he winces Buffy goes at him. She kicks him. He smashes her. Xander is right there. The boy hits Malcolm with a chair. 

The bastard nails Xander with a backhand, knocking him against the wall. 

Buffy hits him with another Chinese star. This one penetrates. He recovers to punch her in the mouth. The slayer rolls on the floor from the impact. 

Xander is back on him. He manages to ram a stake into his back. Buffy side kicks him. 

Malcolm grabs a sword from the wall. He swings at Buffy, nipping her on the leg. She falls. He then goes toward Xander. The boy wonder tries to block the swing of the sword with a chair. Malcolm laughs. He then demolishes the chair with the sword. 

Buffy gets up in time to see Malcolm run the sword right through Xander's stomach. 

"Nooo!! She throws herself at Malcolm, staking him in the face. He picks the slayer up. He plunges her into a fountain. He holds her under the water with a strength that defeats the slayer. The only vision she has as her breath leaves her is the one of Xander having the sword plunged into his stomach. 

Malcolm has had enough. He decides to leave in case these two didn't come alone. He makes his way through the tunnel connected to his room. 

Buffy lies motionless in the fountain. Xander is conscious. He pulls the sword from his stomach. He drags himself over to the fountain. With tears pouring down his cheeks he uses every bit of strength he can muster to pull her from the water. He fights to stay conscious. He starts to give Buffy CPR, remembering with horror the last time he did that. But, the last time he wasn't trying to fight off the pain of a gaping sword hole in his stomach. 

Somehow he manages to do it halfway right. Buffy coughs up water once, then again. As soon as Xander sees her chest breathing he collapses. After coughing up a ton of water Buffy is able to function. The first thing she sees is Xander lying in a pool of blood. She tries to get up to go to him but falls back down. Her leg is bleeding. She wraps a cloth around it. 

The slayer can hear somebody making his or her way to the room. She struggles to drag Xander into the tunnel. She locks it from her side then collapses on Xander. She needs to rest to try to let her healing power work. She can't tell if Xander is alive or not. 

In the meantime Giles and Cordelia are waiting at the other end of the tunnel. They were forced to eliminate a guard who had pulled a car in front of the exit. They figure he was there to transport Malcolm. Perhaps Buffy and Xander were successful with that part of the mission. Cordelia hears something. 

"Giles, somebody is coming." 

The watcher looks intently at her. He smiles, warmly. "This is it, Cordelia. Stay back, you'll only get one shot." 

As Malcolm gets close to the exit of the tunnel Giles jumps in front of him. 

"Remember me, Malcolm?" 

Giles shoots two arrows into his neck. Malcolm is stunned. 

The daemon pulls the arrows out. "The pitiful watcher. I'll gladly kill you, little man." 

Giles hits him in the face with the crossbow. It knocks him back. Giles has the anger of the ages. He front kicks him. 

Malcolm recovers to punch the watcher, sending him flying into one of the walls. He follows up with a kick. Giles grabs a rock smacking him to the side of the face with it. 

The daemon is already weakened from his battle with Xander and Buffy. Giles makes sure he is facing away from the exit. Malcolm reaches down, picking him up by his tweed coat. Giles grabs the lapels of the daemon's jacket then lets all his weight fall to the ground. Malcolm falls to one knee. This is all the opening Cordelia needs. As soon as Giles turned the monster the brunet started to sneak up behind them. Now she was hovering over him with the sword raised above her head. 

She closes her eyes bringing the sword down on Malcolm's neck with all her might. It works! The daemon's head tears from his body. She immediately slices it in two. Both halves smoke and burst into flames. The rest of his body crumbles to ash. 

Cordelia lets out all her stored emotion. She begins to shake, crying profusely. Giles tries to go to her but is very weak from the battle. 

Xander wakes up at the other end of the tunnel. He sees Buffy passed out beside him. He struggles to pick her up. He is dizzy from loss of blood. He staggers down the tunnel with her, falling against the sides as he goes. 

Rachel senses that it is over. She doesn't know if it's for good or bad but she knows her job is done. She takes off for the rendezvous place. 

Giles and Cordelia can only wait six more minutes. Rachel comes to them. She looks at Giles wide-eyed, waiting to hear what happened? 

"Cordelia did it!" 

Rachel hugs the brunet. 

"You saved a lot of lives by doing that, Cordelia." 

Cordelia is still too traumatized to speak. 

"How about Xander and Buffy?" 

"I don't know. We…can't wait much longer." 

The watcher falls from his injuries. As Rachel goes to help him she hears somebody coming down the tunnel. She drags Giles to hiding. 

Xander comes staggering out with Buffy. Cordelia sees them first. 

"Xander, we did it, Xander!" She hugs him 

Rachel takes Buffy, placing her in the car. She does the same with Giles. 

She then embraces Xander. "Let's get out of here before we're seen." 

Cordelia drives. Xander is in the back seat with Rachel and Buffy. He holds his hand out to the vampire. "Thank you, Rachel, thank you." Rachel grabs his hand, kissing it. 

Xander passes out. They switch to their car then leave the area. Giles, Buffy and Xander need medical attention. They go to the hospital. 

The story they tell the doctors is that a gang jumped them. After Cordelia checks everyone in she goes to a telephone. She calls Willow. 

"Willow we did it! We killed Malcolm. Giles, Buffy and Xander all need medical attention but I think they'll be okay." 

Cordelia can hear cheering in the background as Willow repeats her words to Rebecca, Oz, Amy and Devon. 

Giles has only superficial wounds. He is released in an hour. 

Buffy actually did drown (again) but doesn't seem to have any permanent damage from it. Her healing powers probably had something to do with that minor miracle. She did lose a lot of blood from her leg. She is out of it. 

Xander's stomach wound is treated. His healing power was well on the way to doing it's job, also. His blood loss was serious, however. He also has many smaller cuts and bruises. 

Giles and crew sit in the waiting room, basically staring into space. It was one hell of a battle. Even for Rachel. She didn't get hurt but she was petrified the entire time as she played cat and mouse with Malcolm's guards. 

Buffy wakes. She begins to cry as she remembers Xander's lifeless body lying in the tunnel beside her. 

Xander wakes, also. He checks himself out to the protests of the nurses. He goes to the waiting room, hugs all around. 

"Cordelia, you are amazing, woman." 

Xander takes a peak into Buffy's room. He hears her sobbing. He goes to her. 

"Honey." 

She jerks her head toward him. She can't believe he's here. She jumps into his arms. 

"Xander!" 

"We did it your way, babe, together." 

"Xander, I…I thought you were…dead, again. I can't take this, Xander." 

"Honey, it's okay. It's over. We're both okay." 

"Don't leave me, Xander." 

Xander holds her for a long time. The past few weeks have been very hard on both of them. They both have a good cry. 

Buffy is released. She and Xander do not leave one another's side. Rachel had to leave since daylight is settling in. Everyone else goes back to Giles's house. Rebecca pours everyone some champagne. 

Xander offers a toast. "Since she can't be here let's toast Rachel first. We could not have done it without her." 

They all enthusiastically toast the vampire Queen, even Buffy. Xander gives her a quick kiss in thanks. 

Rebecca is dumbfounded. "How? How did you guys do it?" 

Giles looks at Buffy and Xander. "You guys first." 

Buffy begins. "Rachel got us in. She made the whole thing possible. Xander and I made it into Malcolm's inner sanctum." 

The slayer lets out a sigh as she continues. "To put it simply, Malcolm killed the both of us or at least I thought he did." 

The whole scene comes back to Buffy. She saw Malcolm plunge a sword into Xander with her own two eyes. She stares at Xander. 

"He drowned Buffy. I don't know how I was able to give her CPR but I did." 

He looks at Rebecca as he continues. "He was every bit as tough as you said he was going to be." 

Buffy gets back into the conversation. "We shot him, stabbed him, kicked him, punched him. We even tried using foul language." Everyone laughs. "I guess we forced him into the tunnel but don't ask me how." 

Buffy looks to Giles. "Take it from there, boss." 

"The hero, or rather, heroine, is Cordelia. She did it according to the script." 

All eyes look to the brunet beauty. "I'd like to take the credit but it looked like Giles was going to beat him by himself. He even had Malcolm down at one point." 

Xander gazes at the watcher. "G-man, you could have saved us all a lot of trouble!" 

"I'm afraid Cordelia is exaggerating." 

"Not much, Giles. You had two arrows into his neck. That front kick rocked him. Then when you hit him with the cross-bow." 

Rebecca looks at Giles. "Oh, nothing personal, right, Rupert?" 

"Nevertheless, Cordelia came up behind him and proceeded to behead him with one swift swing." 

"I closed my eyes and swung with everything I had in me. I did remember to cut his head in half, afterwards." 

Rebecca voices her amazement. "I am very impressed, Cordelia. This won't sink in until much later." 

She continues. "I have never been around a better group of people in my life." 

Willow speaks. "Is that like a mega-compliment?" 

"Something like that. You all had a part. Everybody did their job. I'm going to throw you guys a big party. Saturday night, pull out all the stops." 

A major hugging session breaks out. Xander goes to Cordelia. "Cordelia Regan Chase, big time daemon killer. How do you think that will go over with the girls?" 

"I want it in writing that no one will ever tell any of my friends a single thing that went on here." 

They share a laugh. 

Rebecca addresses Buffy. "He did it your way, Buffy. You guys are remarkable." 

"Thank you, Rebecca.' 

"I sure hope you two can get a break now. You certainly need it." 

"Rebecca, when things do calm down I would sure like to have a talk with you about you know who." 

"I thought maybe you would. Whenever it's convenient for you, Buffy. I would much rather tell you than him." 

They both share a laugh over that. "Rebecca, he saved my life, again." 

"You two have much to discuss, don't you?" 

"I never thought it was possible to love somebody like this. It's almost too much for me.' 

Rebecca hugs the slayer. "Just take it slow, honey. You guys are still so young." 

Xander goes to Willow. "Willow, can we spend some time together?" 

"Yes, as long as you'll be the old Xander, the one who was my best friend." 

"I promise." They hug. 

Xander and Buffy simultaneously begin to look for one another. It's a love thing! 

As they move slowly in each other's direction their anticipation builds. This chapter of their impossible lives ended with them both alive and reasonably healthy. Xander speaks to his sweetheart. 

"So, slayer princess, you don't want a hero giving his life for you." 

"Well, Lavelle, I'm a modern girl. We play by different rules." 

"I see. So you decide we fight together or not at all. You're still a brat, aren't you?" 

"I tell you, Lavelle, if you keep on improving I might let you patrol with me some night." 

Xander laughs but then gets serious. "You were right, Buffy, we needed each other." 

"He was way out of our league, wasn't he?" 

"When we broke into his room you could feel it. We didn't stand a chance." 

"I felt the same thing but, he's dead and we're alive. How are we alive, Xander? I saw him plunge the sword…" 

She can't finish. 

"I don't know, Buffy, but it's not important right now. The only thing that is important is that you, Buffy Anne Summers, are standing in front of me and I can feel your love and your warmth in my direction." 

He kisses his palms, holding them up facing her. Buffy embraces him in a heavy kiss. He tries to protest. 

"Hey, you forgot to do the ritual first." 

"Sorry, I flunked Shakespeare. Now be quiet and kiss me." 

They say no more. 

Rebecca and Giles talk. "So, Rupert, you shed your warrior cobwebs, go to battle with "One Of Them" and come out victorious." 

"Well…" Rebecca stops him with a kiss. Their first kiss in public. 

Everyone stares at them. They stop for a few seconds but then decide to continue. 

Willow has to comment. 

"You mean Giles is a real person?" 

Xander heard Rebecca mention that Malcolm was "One Of Them". He gets a very serious look on his face. Buffy notices. 

"Xander, whatever it is, let it rest until after the party. Do you understand? We are taking a break." 

"That sounded definite. You think you can run everything now, huh." 

"Just you, babe. I told you. As soon as you signed on the dotted line I get to comment on everything Xander." 

"Hey, wait a minute. Let me see the signature on that dotted line you're talking about." 

Buffy looks at him with a crazy expression on her face. 

"Well, people forge things you know." 

"Wait until I get you alone, Lavelle." 

"That can be arranged, slayer." 

"Alright, I'll ask my mother." 

"Ah, I don't think your mother would like the new Xander." 

"Why, because you have repeatedly known me in the biblical sense?" 

He goes to her, putting his hand on her mouth. "I hope nobody heard you say that." 

"I think its high time we went home to mom." Buffy looks at Giles. 

"Giles, can't I bring Xander home to my mother?" 

"Ah…maybe you should think about it first." 

"What is this guy bonding or something?" 

The watcher is getting annoyed. He wants to give Rebecca his undivided attention. "Buffy, tend to your own business." 

Xander breaks out laughing. "Way to go, Giles. Rupert gets out from under the thumb of the slayer princess!" 

Buffy makes a playful lunge at Xander but he avoids her. "We are going to declare this the day the slayer princess was broken by the daemon fighting watcher." 

Buffy feigns annoyance. "Giles, did you have to give him fuel for his craziness?" 

"Don't back down now, Rupert." 

Buffy chases Xander into the kitchen. The gang can hear them laughing as they roll around the kitchen floor. 

"I guess we're back to normal." 

"That's life on Hellmouth." 

"Aren't they a cute couple?" 

Xander and Buffy melt into a very passionate kiss. "Xander, lets go some place we can let it all hang out." 

"Are you propositioning me?" 

"What's the matter, are you afraid?" 

"No, I'm just thinking." 

"What are you thinking?" 

"I don't feel the need to share." 

"You still don't get it, Lavelle. I'm going to have to send you to school. Watch my lips…if it's Xander, it's mine." 

"You mean to tell me you think you have a right to anything that is me?" 

"Everything in, everything out." 

"Does that work for me too?" 

"What do you want to know?" 

He grabs her hand. "Okay, lets go." 

"Where?" 

"To read your diary, of course." 

Buffy stops. "You bum!" 

"Oh no, you don't get to change it." 

"When I get you alone you're going to get it!" 

"I think this is a question for Rupert." He walks back into the living room. 

"Rupert…" 

Buffy grabs his mouth, knocking him down behind the sofa. She looks up at Giles. 

"False alarm. He didn't really…ugh!" Xander pulls her down. He gets up but Buffy pulls him down again. They melt into a kiss. 

"I see the daemon killing business hasn't lessened their…activities." 

"A Romeo and Juliet with a better ending." 

"At least for this chapter." 

Willow asks Giles, "How much time do we have off, Mr. Giles, before we have to worry about dying again?" 

Cordelia adds her two sense. "It better not be until after the spring fling." 

Giles keeps with the good-natured tone of the moment. "Armageddon stopping at the end of the week…study for it, kids."

* * *

Go on to Part Nine 

* * *

  
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	15. Chapter 9

* * *

Part Nine: Xander Goes to School 

* * *

Buffy and Xander go to Xander's house. They start a flame in the fireplace. They move the loveseat in front of it. After pouring themselves some of Linda's prize wine they sit down on the floor resting their backs on the chair. It doesn't take much to satisfy our duo. Just give them some time alone without the threat of bodily harm. Their shared love will do the rest. 

They are weary. They try to sort out all the intense emotions they have experienced in the last few weeks. Buffy begins to cry, 

"Xander, I thought you were dead. This love business is tougher than I ever thought it was going to be. Compared to what I go through with you I think my thing with Angel was some kind of puppy love or something." 

Xander turns to her. "I know what you mean, Buff. We just have this unbelievably intense thing going. When Malcolm stabbed me with the sword I thought I was going to die but when I saw you in the fountain I knew I had to get to you. It took me over. No way was I not going to save you!' 

"Xander, I don't know how you did that. It's too much for me to even think about right now." 

Xander puts his arm around the slayer. She puts her head on his chest. 

"Your love is amazing, Buffy. I feel every bit of your heart and soul in my direction." 

"Well, with you I have to watch every decision you make. You always either try to save my life or give your life for me. 

Xander frowns. "Is it that bad for you, Buff?" 

"I'll probably regret saying this but…it's quite sweet, actually." 

Xander starts to kiss Buffy in earnest. "Sweet, that is a good word to use for you. Sweet like a big, luscious Twinkie." He takes a playful bite of her neck. 

We all know where things such as this end with our two smitten lovebirds. We all know where two loving daemon slayers belong when they are not defending the world from this or that riff-raff. 

They belong locked in love together, locked in glorious appreciation of one another's beauty and goodness. It is only right and proper! 

Good Night, Buffy, Xander.

* * *

The gang actually does something normal. They go to school. That's what they get to do with their "light" time. 

Buffy and Xander are feeling very good. They hold hands as they walk down the corridor. Xander has Buffy in stitches with some ridiculous comment he made about principal Snyder. 

Willow comes up to them. She looks very disturbed. Xander talks to her. 

"What's the matter, Will?" 

"Oz is acting crazy." 

"How?" 

"Here he comes. See what you think." 

Oz walks up to them. He approaches Xander menacingly. 

"Hey, Oz." 

"What are you doing with Willow?" 

"Nothing, Oz." 

The werewolf goes face to face with him. "Don't tell me you weren't messing with her!" 

"Please Oz, I like Willow. You know that but…." 

Oz doesn't let Xander finish. He grabs his shirt. "The same way you like all those freaks you sleep with!" 

Oz is shouting. They are beginning to draw a crowd. Willow grabs him. "Oz, can we go? 

"Not until I deal with mister stud, here!" 

Oz hits Xander in the chest. Xander doesn't do anything. The crowd laughs. Willow pushes Oz away. 

"Now you get out of here, Oz! Meet me in class." The werewolf leaves. Willow goes back to Xander and Buffy. 

"I'm sorry, Xander." 

He is very pissed. "Yea, me too! What the hell was that all about?" He storms off. 

Buffy is speechless. Willow looks at her pleadingly. "I'm sorry, Buffy." 

The slayer doesn't know what to do. Xander was really upset. Buffy knows her sweetie well enough to know that sometimes he likes to be alone when he is angry. She has to see if he is okay. She finds him outside. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I'll live." 

Buffy senses she shouldn't press it. "Okay, honey, I'll see you later. She gives him a peck on the check, which he doesn't acknowledge. 

Buffy has to find out what is going on. 

Willow comes to her after class. "Did you see Xander, Buffy?" 

"I saw him, Will, but…" 

"But what?" 

"He was very distant. Will, what is happening with our favorite Werewolf?" 

Willow ignores Buffy's question "Oh no, hard Xander? Tell him not to hurt Oz, please? I have to find him. I'll see you after history." 

Buffy just looks at the redhead, not sure of what to say. 

The witch hurries down the hall looking for her Oz and praying he isn't attacking someone, especially Xander. Although she still loves her former best friend she is afraid Oz will provoke him into a fight. 

Xander is walking down the hallway. A boy by the name of Wilson approaches him. He is one of the strongest boys in the school, a football behemoth. He goes with a girl named Nancy. 

"You were trying to make it with Nancy, punk!" 

"Wilson, I make it my business to stay completely away from you and Nancy." 

"Are you calling me a liar?" 

Xander doesn't say anything but is very disgusted. This business of not being able to show your real stuff in front of humans has a limit. Wilson grabs him, smashing him into the lockers. Xander doesn't retaliate. Cordelia is watching the whole thing. She goes over to Wilson. 

"He didn't even look at Nancy, Wilson. Leave him alone!" 

Wilson doesn't pursue it anymore. He pushes his way past the small crowd, which gathered to view the commotion. "Next time, Harris." 

The brunet goes to Xander. "Thanks, Cordelia, it's been a rough day." 

"Think he's tougher than Malcolm?" 

"What have we unleashed?" 

"Stay out of my way! Hey, did Oz really hit you this morning?" 

"He sure did." 

"You poor thing. You never get a break." Cordelia hugs Xander. Buffy and Willow come by. The slayer is taken aback. He didn't want her comfort but he'll take Cordelia's? 

Willow approaches him. "I'm sorry, Xander, please don't hurt Oz." 

Cordelia answers for him. "He just got roughed up by Wilson, Willow, back off!" 

Xander walks away. Buffy looks wide-eyed at Cordelia. 

Hasn't she been paying attention? Xander is my honey. Hell, even the daemons know that. If anybody should be defending him or hugging him it is me. Has everyone forgotten the basic rules of dating? 

What am I talking about? Xander and I are doing more than dating! We're soul mates, forever love-bunnies, even. 

She makes a note to mention that fact to Cordelia or, whoever else needs to hear it!" 

It's a crazy day. Normal for Hellmouth! 

Xander is feeling like crap. After supper he goes to his private place by the city library, sinking back into his protective shell. 

What the hell is going on, now? What's the matter with Oz? Willow and I are friends. We have always been friends. As soon as she got together with Oz I backed off as much as they wanted. I didn't mess it up. No way! I respect both of them. Oz has no reason to be jealous. 

The boy's thoughts are interrupted by a visit from Rebecca. 

"You look very pensive my young friend." 

"Hard day in school. Oz hit me and some football player used me for a tackling dummy." 

"I'm sorry, Xander. I came to talk to you but, perhaps a hug would be more appropriate." 

Rebecca embraces Xander. In the meantime Buffy is coming up the street toward the library. When Xander wasn't at his house the slayer decided to check his thinking place. The first thing she sees is the two of them hugging. 

Damn, Xander will take comfort from anybody but me. 

The slayer actually hesitates. She remembers feeling jealous of Rebecca even before Xander and she were together but she has to control it. Rebecca is Xander's mentor and has shown nothing but friendliness and respect toward everyone. She decides to calm herself down before approaching. 

Rebecca decides to allow Xander his space. She leaves, walking in the direction of the approaching Buffy. 

As the slayer gets closer she sees still another figure approach her man. It is Rachel. 

When Xander sees the vampire he breaks out in a big grin. They hug very warmly. 

"Rachel, good show, honey. We had a champagne toast to you. We're having a party Saturday night. Can you make it?" 

"This might be the last time you see me for awhile, Xander. I have to lay low. As soon as everyone finds out I helped you get Malcolm…" 

Xander embraces her again. "Say no more, Rachel. Thank you so much. I will definitely check on you. Please keep in contact with the usual people." 

"I will, Xander." 

"If you ever need me to get you out of anything, Rachel, I'll be there." 

"I would never doubt that, Xander." 

Rachel leaves. Xander shakes his head in worry thinking of all the bad things that could happen to his good friend. 

Buffy is very upset, now. Xander is too much. He's so at home with all his friends, all women. She can't help it. She is jealous, plain and simple. The slayer feels justified, too. How much would it take for him to be with Rachel or even, Cordelia? 

"Damn it, he's my boyfriend!" 

He may be the Boy Wonder and all that stuff but Xander Lavelle Harris has some lessons to learn about relationships! 

Buffy runs into Rebecca as she approaches the library. 

"Hello, Buffy." 

"Is it my turn to see him yet?" 

Rebecca doesn't answer as she passes. 

When Buffy gets to Xander. "Oh, will you see me now?" 

"What does that mean?" 

"All day and night you've had your groupies giving you comfort." 

"Buffy, I've had a bad day. My friends are just trying to offer sympathy." 

"You didn't want my sympathy!" 

"What? Come on, Buff, sit down. Rachel was just telling me she has to lie low for awhile. I hope they don't get her. We have to make sure…" 

The slayer interrupts him "Look, Xander, I know you have real good reasons for what you do but there is an issue here. We…" 

He doesn't let her finish. He gets up, disgusted. "Buffy, can you save it for a day when I'm not getting my ass kicked!" 

The boy stomps away. 

Buffy is furious. He hugs Cordelia and smiles. He hugs Rachel and practically undresses her. He hugs Rebecca with affection. Me, supposedly the woman of his dreams, he blows off with one sentence! 

Buffy goes to the Bronze. Willow is there minus Oz. They both sit, staring into space for a few minutes before talking. 

"Is Oz still whacked?" 

"I was hoping his behavior was because it is going to be a full moon…but…I think it's more complicated than that." 

"All of a sudden your simple werewolf has taken a Hellmouth turn for the worse." 

"What about you? Where's hard man?" 

"Probably being comforted somewhere by a sorceress or a goddess." 

Willow, raising her eyebrows. "Oh, is he still holding dark hour with all his female groupies of the night?" 

"You've noticed, too? I think everybody with a skirt on heard he had a bad day and just wanted to offer him comfort." 

"That's your job, now, doesn't he know that?" 

"Xander better never tell me I'm complicated again. I had to take a ticket just to get a chance to talk with him. He was hugging and making giggly eyes with Rachel, hugging and taking advice from Rebecca and allowing Cordelia to defend him against Wilson." 

Willow ads "And hugging her, too." 

The slayer continues. "Yea, and me he just blows off!" 

"Think he'll come here tonight?" 

"No, and when I see him, again, he'll have a perfectly good explanation for everything he's done today." 

"And, he's probably going to be mad at me just because Oz hit him." 

"This new Xander better learn to be more like the old Xander." 

"Yea, we'd be sitting here laughing now because he would be making all his stupid comments and telling all his stupid jokes. Buffy, I thought we were going to be able to tell him what to do, now?" 

"I'm working on it, Will. Now, if I can only get an appointment to see him." 

"With no patrol tonight I thought you two would be dancing or something." 

"Me too." 

Xander is still upset about the attacks. He wants to be with Buffy but he knows she is mad at him. He decides to go to the Bronze to see her, anyway. A few dances together and who knows what can happen? 

On the way over he comes upon two women who are being attacked by something. Xander runs over to them. The attacker is a Werewolf. When Xander comes over it stops the attack. It backs off, growling and sniffing. 

Xander turns his attention to the women. One of them is attending to the other. 

"Are you guys okay?" 

The taller of the two women responds. "I think so. How come it stopped attacking?" 

"I have no idea but get up very slowly and get behind me." 

They do it. Xander can see another Werewolf approaching from the distance. 

"We are going to start to walk very slowly." 

The wolf makes a stab at the women as they start to move but stops when Xander gets in its face. 

"Where do you guys live?" 

"Only a couple of blocks from here." 

"Let's go." 

They make a run for it. The lone wolf is now joined by a second and a third. Xander lags behind to make sure he can stop the monsters from getting to the women. He briefly tangles with them before he is finally able to make it to the house. The werewolves congregate under a tree. 

The three of them are okay. The taller woman introduces herself. "My name is Monica Gentry. This is my sister, Cindy." 

"My name is Xander. Why were they attacking you, Monica?" 

"This might sound strange but we think one of them might be Cindy's ex boyfriend. I am into the occult. I was trying to cast a spell that might keep them away. I guess I didn't do very well." 

Xander keeps watching the wolves from the bay window. Monica is curious about something. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Xander, but, they actually seemed to be afraid of you." 

"I don't know. I think they were just waiting for help." 

"Xander, you don't seem to be surprised at all that there were Werewolves chasing us." 

"You guys are not from around here, are you?" 

"No, we're from LA" 

"There are a lot of such things around here. You guys picked the wrong town to visit." 

"We live here, now." 

"That is an even bigger mistake." 

Xander doesn't know what it is but he feels a very strange attraction toward Monica. Cindy is sitting on a chair just staring into space. 

"Is Cindy okay, Monica?" 

Monica, manages a small smile, "Yea, she's just a little shook up." 

Xander goes up to her. "It seems like they're gone, Cindy. From what I know about werewolves, I don't think they like it indoors. You're okay in here." 

Cindy hugs Xander. She is the younger of the two. She has long flowing golden blond hair that is spread all over her face at the moment. Aside from the hair color she resembles Cordelia somewhat. Monica has very beautiful light brunet hair that is presently tied back in a ponytail. Monica has one of those faces, which lights up the room when she smiles. She carries herself very warmly, but confidently. 

"You are the first really friendly person we've met in Sunnydale." 

"Yea, well, it isn't exactly an overly friendly town. But, hey, I hang with my girl friend and some other friends. We're friendly, sometimes. Maybe we can help show you around." 

Cindy perks up. She is not keeping it a secret that she is quite smitten with our resident male daemon fighter. 

"You will show us around, Xander?" 

"Yea, sure. There is a nightclub just two blocks from your very door. It's called the Bronze. We all hang out there. You are welcome to join us." 

"We'll see you there." 

Xander turns to Monica. "I think you're okay, now. I need to go." 

Monica walks with Xander to the porch. She feels the same strange attraction to Xander that he feels toward her. 

In the meantime Buffy and Willow get tired mopping in the Bronze. They leave. When they turn the corner to walk down the street they see two figures standing on one of the porches. It's Xander and Monica. 

"Xander, thank you so much for saving us." 

They embrace. Buffy recognizes Xander. When she sees him hugging Monica she can hardly stand it. 

"Willow, tell me that isn't Xander standing on that porch hugging still another female person." 

"It is him. What is the matter with him?… I guess we'll find out because, here he comes." 

"I don't want to see him right now. I'm liable to hit him first and ask questions later." 

"Too late." 

Xander approaches the two best friends. 

"Hey, guys. I was going to catch you at the Bronze." 

Neither even look at him. They keep walking. Xander catches up. When he looks at Buffy's face he guesses she must have seen he and Monica hugging. 

"Oh…I guess you must have seen me hugging that girl. She got attacked by a Werewolf." 

Willow stops, looking at him worriedly. "You didn't hurt Oz, did you?" 

"I didn't hurt anybody, Willow." 

The redhead catches up to Buffy who refuses to even acknowledge Xander's presence. 

"Hey, wait a minute guys. Buffy." He runs in front of the slayer. 

"What's the matter, babe?" 

The slayer sighs then continues to walk. Willow answers. "You don't know, do you? The new hard Xander is stupid." 

He runs in front of Buffy, again. "That girl was Monica. She was just thanking me for saving her." 

Buffy replies. "She was hugging you just to show her appreciation to the wonderful, heroic Xander Harris." She coos sarcastically, "God's gift to the female race." 

Xander can't believe the slayer is this mad. "Buffy, honey, speak to me." 

"I can't. That's the trouble. I have to stand in line!" 

"That's ridiculous, Buffy." 

"Look, Xander, if I see you hug another woman today I'm going to scream. You didn't tell me I would have to compete for you with all the females in Sunnydale." 

"You don't have to compete with anybody for me, Buffy." 

She is still steaming. "You laughed with and, made eyes with and, hugged half the women in the state today. When I came to you to try to comfort you all you did was blow me off!" 

"Buffy, will you please calm down." 

"No, I won't, Xander. Not until you explain. I'm Buffy Summers, your honey. The woman you have loved for years. Now, take your time. Remember me?" 

Xander tries to embrace her but she stops him. "Buffy, please." 

"I thought it was me who was suppose to be complicated. Remember Angel? Hell, you have a crowd! It keeps growing! Every time I turn around there is another woman in my face." 

"In your face? I don't understand?" 

Buffy is completely exasperated. "Yea, Xander, if they are hugging you and making eyes at you and cooing in your direction they are in my face…You just don't get it, do you?" 

The slayer walks ahead. Willow looks at the boy. "You belong to her, dummy! Everything Xander belongs to her. She gets to say something about all kinds of stuff." 

Xander runs up to Buffy. "Buffy, this can't be…like…like a jealous thing. Do you think I would ever, ever do anything to you like that? Are you kidding, Buffy?" 

"No, Xander, I don't think you would ever do anything with the intention of hurting me. You are just being Xander. But, you have to learn some stuff about how the love thing goes. Once we said that to each other certain things have to happen. I want all your stuff in my direction, good and bad." 

"All those other people are just my friends." 

"Those relationships have to change, especially with your friends. If you want comfort from having a bad day, me. If you need to talk over some deep problem, me. You no longer have the right to just let your whole self hang out to every person you meet." 

Buffy has no idea if Xander is getting any of this but she goes on. "You're just so friendly and so dynamic and so appreciative to all your friends, all who just happen to be females. Don't get me wrong, Xander, I'll compete with them. You're worth it. I'll stand toe to toe with anybody who has designs on you but, I guarantee you won't like it!" 

Xander is really trying but he still doesn't get the whole picture. "Wait a minute. Think about the women you are talking about. Rebecca is one of them." 

"I like Rebecca, Xander, but part of her does more than just admire you. Hell, you and she are the same thing." 

Xander continues. "Rachel, she is only a…" 

Buffy is flabbergasted. "Don't you dare say Rachel only wants to be your friend!" 

Willow has to get in on this one. "Don't even bring her up, Xander." 

"But, she helped us." 

The redhead continues. "If Rachel were any more in love with you she'd be sleeping in your basement…She isn't sleeping in your basement, is she?" 

"No!" 

Willow is on a roll. "And, don't even bring up Cordelia, ever!" 

Buffy chimes in. "I've had to watch you suck face with somebody else for so long…" 

Xander tries to save himself. "Buffy, we've only been together…" 

Buffy interrupts. "You're stupid, aren't you?" 

Willow continues it. "Haven't you figured out yet how long Buffy has been in love with you?" 

"Buffy answers Willow. "Maybe if he associated with somebody who wasn't trying to get into his pants all the time." 

This is a lot for Xander. "Let me try to get this all into perspective. Everything I do now…with everybody has to change?" 

Willow answers. "That's part of it." 

Buffy goes right up to Xander. "I'll try this again, Xander. I realize you are deprived in this area. There is no more you or I. There's us. Do you understand that?" 

"Xander nervously runs his hand through his hair. "I don't know." 

Willow goes to him. "What are you going to do tomorrow, Xander?" 

"Well, I told Monica…" 

"Nope! What next?" 

"Rebecca…wanted me…" 

"Stop again, Xander. You're doing very bad." 

Buffy and Willow look at each other. The slayer shakes her head. "You're pathetic, Xander. I love you but you are pathetic. You need like…a teacher, make that an old teacher…one that is old and looks old." 

Willow decides to try another approach. "Xander, when you get up tomorrow give your honey, Buffy, a call." 

"Oh…okay, I can do that. I can easily do that. I'll call you as soon as I open my eyes, Buffy." 

Buffy shakes her head, laughing. "Thank you Willow." 

The redhead has one more thing to add. "Don't save anybody or rescue anybody on the way home tonight." 

"I'll keep my eyes down. No, better, I'll run all the way home." 

Buffy is finally impressed. "Very good, Xander, now give me a kiss goodnight." 

He tries to only give her a peck on the cheek but Willow points him back to Buffy who has a very disappointed frown on her face. He goes back to her. 

"Good night, sweet love." He gives her a very passionate kiss and then a hug. "I'll give you a call as soon as I wake up." 

He looks up, smiling, waiting for approval. "Good night, sweetie." 

Willow nods her head. "I'm very impressed, Xander." He goes to hug his long time friend but looks at Buffy first. 

"Yes, Willow is an approved hug." 

Xander actually does run home. The girls watch him disappear down the street. They link arms and start skipping down the street. The slayer has to stop. 

"Did you see his face when you were stopping him from planning his day?" 

"We should have taken pictures. It's almost a shame to torture the poor boy like this." 

"If we don't I'll have to beat up all the girls and women in Sunnydale…Willow, was he actually groveling?" 

"He honestly had no idea what he was doing wrong." 

"He's too much, Willow. Now that I actually pay attention to him all the time I'm constantly afraid I'm going to lose him." 

"There is so much competition. He never attracts anybody who isn't at least a Miss California contestant. Did you see that Monica he was hugging?" 

"I don't want to think about it. Talking about competition, how does it go with Oz being in the band and all?" 

"Last week they played this club in L A. I thought this girl was staring at Devon. Then her friend came. They smiled and cooed all over Oz all night. And…and, he was even smiling back at them." 

"I hope it was just stage presence stuff." 

"I don't know." 

"Well, Will, we're pretty good as a team. We may have to give Oz the same love etiquette talk we just gave Xander." 

"Let's plan on it. That was fun! Control is fun!" 

"We'll make them toe the line, sister!" 

* * *

The next day passes peacefully. Willow and Buffy go to the Bronze, again. Xander had a meeting with Rebecca, training but no hug. He joins the girls. 

"Well, hello, Buffy." He gives her a pleasant kiss. 

"How was your day, Xander, honey?" 

"Hug free. No hero stuff, either." 

Willow comments. "Very proper, sir." 

"Where's Oz, Will?" 

"He has practice. That was not him last night." 

"That's good. I had a talk with Giles. He said something about the full moon blues. Rebecca said she has some stuff at her house to read on it." 

Buffy's eyebrows go up. Willow looks at him. "Xander." 

"Wait, let me finish. I told her maybe Buffy and I would be over to pick it up later." 

Buffy is happy. "That's very good, Xander. I think if I saw one more female spending more time with my honey than me…" 

She doesn't finish but Xander gets the drift of her thought. 

Another person comes into the Bronze. Not just any person, but one of extreme presence and grace. A blonde headed beauty who some might mistake as a minor goddess on loan from above. As she comes through the second set of doors all eyes are fixed on her. She walks with attitude and purpose. There hasn't been a presence in the nightclub such as hers since the night Rachel made her appearance. 

Buffy and Willow see her first. 

"Who is that?" 

"I have no idea. I just hope she isn't here for Oz." 

Xander turns around to look at the person they are talking about. He sees her. 

"Oh, shit!" It is Cindy, Monica's sister. 

"What, Xander?" 

"Nothing, Buff, let's dance." 

Too late, Cindy sees Xander. The boy's heart takes a dive as she makes her way to the table. He tries to hide but it's no use. Cindy comes directly to him, putting her hand very lovingly and seductively on his shoulder. 

"Hello, Xander. I was too upset to really thank you last night for saving my life." 

She kisses him on the cheek then hugs him very tenderly. Both Buffy and Willow have their mouths open. 

Cindy totally ignores the girls. "You said you might be able to show me around, Xander." 

The Boy Wonder has never squirmed more in his whole life. "I did say that." He looks at Buffy. "But, that was before…Cindy, this is my good friend, Willow. And…this other fine person is my, oh so good, girlfriend, Buffy. Guys, this is Cindy." 

Neither one says a word to her. Xander grabs Cindy by the hand, walking toward the door. 

Buffy and Willow stare at them for a moment. Willow speaks. "Did another ravishingly beautiful girl just appear in the Bronze, go slithering up to Xander, hug him and kiss him, undress him in front of the both of us and is now trying to finish him off?" 

Buffy is still in a daze. "What did you say?" 

"Did a…never mind!" 

Xander speaks to Cindy. "Cindy, could I possibly have a rain check on showing you around. Tonight is just a really bad night." 

"Did I get you in trouble with your girl friend, Xander?" 

"I certainly hope not, Cindy. I certainly hope not. 

She leaves. Xander goes back to the table. Needless to say, neither girl speaks to him. He can't take the tension. 

"Look, I can't take the silence. Will one of you say something, please?" 

Buffy looks hard at him. "Okay…the first thing which pops into my mind is that in the entire history of the Bronze only two women have captivated the place like that. Only two times has somebody stopped the music and commanded everyone's presence like that girl did tonight. And, you know what? Both times it was done for your benefit…and in front of me!" 

"Now, I know you bedded the other one repeatedly. How long will it take you to get this one in the sack? Of course, I realize it's only a formality. Most of it already happened!" 

Buffy looks to Xander for a reply. "This…this is out of context or something." 

"Let me be clear, Xander. Oh no, you would never cheat on me. You love me. You would never look at another woman seriously. You'd be walking down the street, just like last night…Wait a minute. That wasn't the woman you were with last night. I thought her name was Monica? Where does Cindy come from, Xander?" 

"She's…Monica's sister." 

"And you saved her from Werewolves, too?" He nods 

"That's how it will happen. You'll save a damsel in distress and she'll just be thanking you. I mean she'll owe you her life." 

"Xander, I told you I didn't mind competing for you but you really lay a hard game. Vampire Queens, Miss America contestants." 

The slayer stares at him for a few seconds before continuing. "The scary thing is that you can't help yourself." 

Xander is tired groveling. "Okay, Buffy, I have listened to you. I am trying to get it but you have to get something, too. I love you Buffy and only you. This is stupid!" 

"Stupid! You think this is stupid? Multiply Angel by ten, Xander…can you get it?" 

"Buffy, this is not the same thing." 

"Xander, don't try to make an ass out of me. Cindy undressed you with her eyes tonight, right in front of me. Rachel does it every time she looks at you. Cordelia still does it. What about Leslie?" 

She continues. "I thought I won you, already. You should have prepared me for this. I can't keep up with them all. I go back with you a long way, Xander." 

"Buffy, somehow we have to take care of business but…" 

She interrupts him. "I took care of the business I'm talking about. Do you see any men or boys trailing me around?" 

The slayer goes right up to Xander, putting her finger in his face. "Tonight this stuff is over. If you can't help yourself, I can. I'm not losing you to anybody. That's the final say on it, Xander. If you can't keep the female hordes off of you, I can. I'm not taking a ticket, Xander. Get use to it!" 

She pushes him then leaves. Xander slumps down in one of the chairs. Willow stares at him. 

"You look happy. Do you think I deserve that?" 

"As your friend, yes. I was personally rooting for a roundhouse." 

"You know I love Buffy. Everybody knows I love Buffy." 

"She doesn't want to be your favorite, Xander. She wants to be the only one. The people you have her competing with are very intimidating." 

Xander sighs. "Willow, can you get home on your own, I have to see Buffy."

* * *

Go on to Part Ten 

* * *

  
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	16. Chapter 10-11

* * *

Part Ten: Be a Nice Puppy 

* * *

Xander hurries to Buffy's house. The slayer is in her room, lying on her bed. She feels overwhelmed. Xander Lavelle Harris is a total package, a complete load. He is in demand. 

When the hell did Xander get to be the most popular boy on the planet? 

Buffy has to laugh to herself. She answers her own question. 

When he became what he is. 

Hell, she loves him. How could she have ever loved anyone else? He is everything good that she can think about. But, she knows she can't leave him alone until he learns all the little things. She better teach him, fast, before she has to kill anybody! 

Buffy hears someone pinging stones at her window. She looks out. It is Xander. 

"Xander, what do you want?" 

"I'm afraid to go home. I have to come up there." 

"My mother is here, Xander!" 

"You told me I have to come to you for everything. I'm coming up." 

He climbs to her room, looking in from the shrub. Buffy blocks his way. "Xander, you're nuts. You can't come in here. My mother is here." 

"You let me in there! You let Angel in there." 

The slayer reluctantly lets him in. "You're nuts. My mother probably heard you." 

"You can't say all those things to me and expect me to go home." 

"Xander, what am I going to do with you?" 

"You're going to hide me." 

"What?" 

"You're the slayer, protect me." 

Buffy is wide-eyed. "You can't sleep with me, Xander. Not with my mother here." 

"I'll sleep at the bottom of the bed." 

Buffy, realizing that her honey is probably not going to leave. "You'll have to sleep beside the bed so my mother won't see you if she comes in but, you're nuts, Xander!" 

"You're the one who drove me nuts! You win. I give up!" 

"That's good, Xander, but you can't live in my room with me." 

"I'm your boyfriend, deal with me!" 

"You're my nuts boyfriend. I can't believe you're in my room…and won't go home! If my mother catches you I'm not going to say you're my boyfriend." 

"Xander, did I tell you you're nuts!" 

Buffy can't believe it. He's crazy. He gets it wrong all the time. 

He thinks I want him to live in my room with me. 

She decides to try to get him out one more time. She looks down at him. He speaks first. 

"I know what you're going to say, slayer princess, but forget it. I'm staying!" 

"I'm going to have you committed, tomorrow. You have to go home tomorrow, you know!" 

"Be quiet, I'm trying to sleep." 

Buffy prays her mother doesn't come in. She finally falls asleep. 

When she wakes in the morning she stretches as usual but then she remembers who is in her room. 

"Oh my God, Xander!" 

She looks down but he is not there. The door to her room opens. It is Xander. 

"Xander, where the hell did you go?" 

"I had to use the bathroom." 

"You are completely nuts…if my mother…Xander, you have to go home?" 

She hands him his shoes. "Are we going to walk to school together?" 

"Go home, Xander." 

"Why can't we walk to school together?" 

Buffy is getting frantic now. "Okay, meet me over Willow's house in forty-five minutes. Now, go home!" 

Xander leaves. Buffy gets dressed in a hurry. She goes to Willow's house. 

"You're early, Buffy." 

"You'll never guess what happened last night." 

"More Xander?" 

"He came to my house last night, up to my room." 

Willow raises her eyebrows. "Your mother." 

"He climbed up from the outside. He wouldn't leave." 

"Xander slept in your room?" 

"He said he was my boyfriend and I had to deal with him." 

"Buffy, do you think we drove him crazy? Is he going to be like your… dog now?" 

"I don't know. He's crazy in everything." 

A knock comes to the door. It's Xander. The girls look at each other. 

"Good morning friend and, very good girlfriend person." 

They walk to school in silence until Willow can hold it in no longer. 

"Xander, you haven't turned into a puppy, have you?" 

He looks at Buffy. "You told her, didn't you?" 

"I didn't know it was suppose to be a secret." 

"I came to you in my hour of need." 

"You came to me in your hour of craziness." 

After walking a few minutes, "Xander, you can't live in my room with me." 

Xander is perturbed. "I get it. This stuff you're talking about only works when you want it to work. I can't have any friends but I can't stay in your room with you when I'm lonely…and, I can't even read your diary." 

"I already cut out the parts with you in it." 

"Then it better be an empty book. This thing goes both ways, you know!" 

He storms off. 

Buffy turns to Willow. "Do you see what I have to put up with? Either he is friends with the whole world of females or…" 

Willow finishes the thought for her. "Or, he's your crazy puppy dog…I wonder if he bites?" 

"Willow." 

They both share a good laugh. 

When Xander gets to school both Oz and Wilson are waiting for him outside. They jump him. Buffy and willow see it. They rush over. 

"Oz, you get off Xander right now! 

"Willow, you don't understand. He's the enemy." 

Buffy grabs Oz but not before he kicks Xander. Wilson jumps on him again. Xander has to do something. He blocks his punch then knocks the football player down. 

Oz breaks away from Buffy. He attacks Xander again. The boy wonder is forced to defend himself. Buffy talks to Willow. "Willow, you get Oz away. I'll get Xander out of here." 

The slayer pulls Xander into the school. Willow calms Oz and Wilson. 

"What the hell are you doing?" 

Wilson answers. "He's trying to kill us. We'll get him." 

"Right after school meet me in Giles's office, Oz. You've gone crazy!" 

Xander is bleeding. Buffy takes him to the library. She patches. 

"What the hell is going on, Buffy?" 

"I don't know, sweetie. I'm sorry." Giles comes into the library. Buffy addresses him. 

"Trouble, Giles." 

"This was suppose to be a quiet time." 

"Oz and some football player keep attacking Xander." 

"Is the football player a werewolf, as well?" 

"We didn't even think about that, Giles. Do you think it's a wolfy thing?" 

Xander tells the watcher of the scene with Monica and Cindy. 

"That's strange. They don't usually travel in packs. They are usually solo. Unless…" 

"Unless, what, Giles?" 

"Unless they see a common danger in Xander. I…I think you need to talk to Rebecca." 

Xander looks at Buffy. "We'll go over and see her after school." 

"Yea, Giles, we'll stop by to see her. I think Willow will be in with Oz if he can calm him down enough." 

Xander and Buffy leave. Xander is still very upset. They decide to leave school for the time being. 

"I'm really worried, Buffy." 

"I know, Xander." 

"You do?" 

"Of course I do." 

"Even without me telling you what I'm worried about?" 

"I know what you're worried about." 

Xander looks at his girlfriend with disbelieving eyes. She stops. 

"You're upset because you don't know if you can deal with Oz without hurting him. And, if you hurt him you would never forgive yourself. Not to mention the fact that your former best friend would never talk to you again." 

Xander stares at the slayer. Buffy finds it very amusing. She puts her arm in his. 

"You're actually shocked, aren't you?" 

Xander doesn't answer. Buffy continues. 

"Why would it shock you that I know all about you?" 

"I don't know." 

"You know all about me, don't you?" 

"Yea, but that's different." 

Buffy stops, again. "Xander, one thing comes through to me as we get time to experience each other. You have no idea how much I love you." 

"I thought I did." 

Buffy buries him in a very passionate kiss. When they break. 

"My fault honey. I'll have to spent more time telling you and showing you." 

"Well, when you were doing that thing you were doing a minute ago…" 

That's all he had to say. They embrace in as passionate a kiss as is allowable on a public street. 

"Wow, what was it I was worried about?" 

Despite making Xander feel better, the slayer is worried as much as Xander. She tangled with Oz when he was werewolfy. She could barely handle him. Xander has a limit to his tolerance. This could be disastrous if they can't get to the bottom of it. She has to see Willow. 

"Xander, honey, I have to do something. You go over to see Rebecca. I'll see you later." 

Still remembering the previous night's discussion on relationship etiquette. "You mean I should go over to see Rebecca by myself?" 

"You know the way, don't you, honey?" 

"Not very well but, I'll find it." 

Buffy is amused that she has Xander so nervous and tentative about this. She pats him playfully on the head. "Nice doggy, hee, hee, hee" 

Willow gets Oz to come to see Giles. Buffy is there. 

"Oz, why are you and Wilson attacking Xander?" 

"He's dangerous, Giles, he's trying to kill us all." 

"Who is he trying to kill, Oz?" 

"Werewolves." 

"You've known Xander for years. Why would he suddenly be trying to kill you?" 

"Wilson will tell you." 

"Is Wilson a werewolf?" 

"Yes, he's the leader." 

Giles is very worried, now. "Oz, I already talked to Wilson. He said to wait for him in the cage. You know, the one you sleep in three nights a month." 

Buffy, Giles and Willow try to contain him but he breaks through. He runs out the door. 

The librarian sighs. "I was afraid of that." 

Buffy questions him. "What are we dealing with, here, G-man?" 

Giles, annoyed at what the slayer called him, "Buffy, are you taking a page from your boyfriend's book?" 

"Sorry, Giles, he rubs off on you." 

"I hope not too much." 

"Be careful oh watcher person. That's my honey of which you speak." 

"Yes, well, it would appear Wilson has some kind of leader of the pack mentality on Oz. Secondly, there must be something they sense in Xander. Something in the past between werewolves and…and…" 

Giles decides not to finish since the research that has been done on Xander's identity is not exactly public knowledge. This, of course, upsets Buffy. She leers at her watcher. 

"Are you going to finish, Giles?" 

"No, Buffy, that is another matter. However, when I do have something to say concerning Xander's identity you will be the first one I will tell." 

This pleases Buffy very much. "Well, thank you, Giles. Finally, one of you guy types get it. Listen, Giles, we have an immediate problem. Oz and Wilson keep, attacking Xander." 

Buffy goes over to Willow. Cordelia comes in. 

Willow voices her main concern. "If Oz gets Xander too mad he's going to hurt him." 

Cordelia reminds everyone of an equally important problem. "Willow, we can't let Xander get hurt, either." 

The brunet looks to Buffy. "I thought the slayer would bring that up." 

The slayer responds sarcastically "Thank you, Cordelia." She then looks at Willow. 

"Will, Oz and Wilson busted him up pretty bad. He's not in the best of moods." 

"I'll talk to him." She looks at Buffy. "Is it okay to talk to him, Buffy?" 

Buffy is embarrassed that her jealousy is so apparent. "Sure." 

Cordelia practically stares a hole in the slayer. "We have to ask your permission to talk to Xander, now?" 

"It's a long story, Cordelia." 

"I'm impressed, Buffy." 

Willow adds. "It all happened after that girl, Cindy, came to the Bronze to bed Xander." 

"She came to get Xander? Is she crazy? No offense, Buffy, but doesn't she know what a crazed slayer is capable of doing? " Cordelia looks at Buffy. "So, that's the long of the story?" 

Willow goes on. "He saved her life. She just wanted to thank him." "Oh. My God, Buffy, I get the picture. I promise I will go through you first." 

"Thank you, Cordelia." 

The brunet continues. "He's a total package." 

Willow adds. "He's always saving somebody now." 

Buffy expresses more of her frustration. "Always female, and, of course, they have to thank him." 

"Hugs and kisses and cooing?" 

"To the max!" 

"You need a leash." 

Buffy and Willow laugh. "That's a different story." 

Giles has been listening to this exchange. He feels he has to comment. "I hate to interrupt this dissection of Xander but, do you girls always talk with such…such…" 

Buffy doesn't let him finish. "Are you actually sticking up for Xander, Giles?" 

"I feel, perhaps, someone should." 

"You're my watcher, Giles. You take care of me; I'll take care of Xander." 

"Well, yes, let's get back to the matter at hand. We may have to find and sedate our two resident werewolves to prevent a tragedy." 

"Time to get out the old dart gun." 

Willow finds Xander. They have a conversation. 

"You're not going to hurt Oz, are you, Xander?" 

"Come on, Will, do you see my lip? You want to see my leg?" 

Willow starts to cry. Xander hugs her. "Do Buffy and Giles have a plan?" 

"They're going to use the dart gun but, we have to find him first." 

"Willow, I can hold Oz off if he's Oz but, if he changes…" 

Willow gets a very hard look on her face, one that Xander has rarely seen. "If you do anything to harm Oz, Xander, I will never forgive you." 

"Oh, that's great, Willow, thank you!" 

"This is the new hard Willow talking to you." 

As she is walking away Xander calls to her. "The new unreasonable Willow!"

* * *

Part Eleven: She's Your Best Friend, Xander 

* * *

Now, Xander is very pissed off. More shit. This time for Willow. He and Oz are friends, they have a bond but, what the hell is he supposed to do? 

He has to hide from him. He decides to join Buffy on patrol. As he approaches, Buffy can sense his mood. She braces herself. 

"Hello, sweetie." 

"I thought we agreed you would not patrol alone." 

"Yes, Xander, we did but so much is going on I didn't want to bother you." 

"Well, that's sure a stupid reason." Buffy walks to him. She puts her hands lovingly on his shoulders. "Honey, it's okay." 

"No it's not okay! It feels like old times." 

Buffy, not sure exactly what that means. "What are we talking about, me doing patrol alone or, you…" 

He doesn't let her finish. "You know damn well what we're talking about." 

Buffy has had enough. "Xander, if you want to talk, we'll talk. But, if you're just going to attack me…" 

"Yea, blow me off slayer. That stuff about me coming to you is just bullshit, isn't it?" 

He storms off. Buffy tries to call to him. "Xander, will you come back here." 

He doesn't. Buffy sighs, shaking her head. 

That boy is going to drive me crazy! 

Buffy sees a group of creatures coming her way. They appear to be werewolves. They approach her cautiously. She jumps to a defensive position. 

"Shit, I know one of you is Oz. Please, Oz, don't get into anything with me." 

They sniff all around her until one of them picks up a scent from the air. They all leave in the direction Xander just took. 

Oh, God, they're after Xander. 

Just as she is ready to follow them she is attacked by a vampire. A second comes on the heals of that one. "The slayer screams into the night. "Be alright, Xander, please." 

Xander hears a rustling behind him. The pack of wolves is on him in short order. He gets nailed in the leg with a claw. He burst through them as they try to surround him. He gets a wicked whack to the head for his troubles. He begins to run at top speed but they are gaining on him. He notices he is close to Monica's house. He frantically beats on her door. 

When Monica sees Xander's dilemma she lets him in. 

Once he catches his breath he explains the situation to her. 

"Xander, I've been looking this up on the Internet." 

Monica stops because she notices Xander is bleeding from two places. She runs to get some first aide medicines. 

She very lovingly cleans his wounds. She tells him of her research. "They are travelling in a pack because they all perceive a common danger. It sounds like you are the danger, Xander." 

"Great! Is there any way to stop them without…without killing them?" 

"You have to kill at least one of them, the spiritual leader." 

"Are the spiritual leader and the regular leader the same?" 

"Only sometimes." 

"Is there any way to tell which one is the spiritual leader?" 

"I could probably tell, if I could get close enough." 

"Monica, ah…are you…like…normal?" 

"I don't know what I am but, I guess you would say I'm definitely not normal." 

"There's a lot of that going on." 

"I hate to bring this up to you, Xander, but…you don't appear to be normal, either" 

Xander doesn't answer but for the first time notices how unbelievably beautiful Monica is. He shakes that thought from his head, replacing it with one of Buffy. She is going to kill him for being here but he had no choice. 

"Monica, I told you Sunnydale isn't your average place. I don't even really know what I am. The little I do know is scary enough." 

"It's definitely something special, Xander." 

"Besides the actual problem of having a pack of werewolves chasing me, one of them happens to be my best friend,Willow's, main squeeze." 

"Which means you can't hurt him?" 

"Right." 

"But, Xander, how are you suppose…" 

"That's what is driving me crazy at the moment. Look, Monica, do you see yourself helping us?" 

"Helping us?" 

"I work with a group of people. We sort of battle all the evil this damn place produces. There is a girl. She is a vampire slayer. She is the main player. We help her mostly." 

Monica starts to well up. Xander tries to comfort her but is really weak from his battle with the werewolves. He falls back down in his chair. 

"I'm sorry, Monica, I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe I should go." 

Monica recovers. "Xander, you don't have to go. I will gladly help you if I can. It's just…I have never met anyone who needed my help before. I found myself with some very interesting powers at a very young age. But, they caused me nothing but problems." 

"Monica, maybe you haven't come to the wrong place, after all. I'll introduce you to people who will show you how to use your power for good. We could really use your help." 

Monica can't help it. She has always been an outcast because of these strange things going on within her. All of a sudden she meets someone who seems to know what to do with her. Every one else she ever met rejected her as soon as she revealed any part of her true self. The person in front of her is not only accepting her but actually needs her help. 

At this moment Monica realizes that her destiny has something to do with Xander. She was supposed to meet him. For one of the few times in her life Monica feels she is doing what she is supposed to be doing. It is a very special moment for her. 

She begins to cry, again. Xander reaches to her. "I'm sorry, Xander. I can't believe I met you." 

" I am really glad I met you too, but …Monica…I…I'm in love with the slayer I told you about. We…" 

Monica is very embarrassed. "Xander, I'm sorry. I…I didn't…mean…" 

Xander feels somewhat relieved that Monica didn't mean that the way it sounded. He softens up. 

"Honey, I know how you feel. Without getting too weird about it, we are definitely kindred spirits. I think you'll find others, too, if you hang around with us. The only problem…and, it's a big one…it is very dangerous. I mean like life threatening." 

Monica sits down. "Xander, I'm very confused right now but I certainly will help you with the werewolf thing." 

"Thank you. Monica, I have to tell you up front. My girl friend, the slayer, she…well she…" 

Monica gets it. "She's jealous, Xander?" 

"Yes…Cindy, is she…different, too?" 

"No, she's normal but quite persistent when it comes to someone she finds attractive. Obviously, you can tell she is very attracted to you. I will tell her to cool it, especially around your slayer." 

"Thank you, Monica. I am just learning the rules of being in a heavy relationship. I love Buffy with everything inside me. It took us a long, long time to get together. I can't lose her." 

"Xander, I know how the romance thing works. I'll tell you, it's very hard not to like you but I certainly will respect your relationship with Buffy. Just from talking to you I get the idea that it is something very special. " 

"She is special, Monica. She is amazing. We love each other very much but our lives are so hard that we hurt each other a lot of times without knowing it." 

"Monica, I have to go get Buffy and…" 

He can't finish. He has to sit back down He is still weak and dizzy from his wounds. 

"Xander, how about if I find them. I'll bring them back here then we can formulate a plan." 

"Yea, I just need some rest and, maybe a little juice." 

Monica gets Xander some juice. He tells her to go to the library to talk to Giles. Cindy comes in before she leaves. She did not run into the werewolves. For the moment they are elsewhere. Monica tells her sister to cool her jets in regard to Xander. 

Buffy is frantically looking for Xander. When she doesn't find him anywhere she heads to the library. The regular gang is there as well as the two new recruits, Amy and Devon. 

Monica makes her way there, also. She walks in on the gang. Giles speaks to her first. 

"May I help you?" 

"Are you by any chance, Rupert Giles?" 

"I am, yes." 

"Xander told me to find you." 

Buffy immediately jumps to her. Is he okay? Where is he?" 

Although very intimidated by the slayer Monica manages to stay calm. 

"A whole pack of werewolves attacked him. He made it to my house." 

Willow and Cordelia look at each other. Buffy addresses Monica with barely contained anger. 

"And, just who the hell are you?" 

"I'm Monica." 

"Oh, you're the one he saved from the werewolves." 

"And, you must be Buffy." 

"Yes, Xander's girlfriend and soul mate." 

"Yes, Buffy, that's the first thing he told me. He had to run to my house. There was a whole pack of them. He didn't…" 

"I get the picture. Now, why are you here?" 

"Why am I getting hostile vibes from you Buffy? I'm here to offer some information about the problem. I'm not out to steal your man." 

Giles responds. "I'm sorry, Monica. We seem to always have our little soap operas running." 

Monica gets right to it. "One of the werewolves is the spiritual leader. He, not the leader of the pack, has to be killed. Sometimes they are the same but not very often. The spiritual leader will not turn back to human form. If he is not killed none of them will return. They perceive a danger in Xander. If we don't get the spiritual leader before the full moon is over they'll just keep coming after him." 

"Monica, how can we tell the spiritual leader?" 

"I…I can tell if I can get close enough." 

The slayer speaks. "Willow, do you have any way of identifying Oz when he's a werewolf?" 

"Yes, we've developed a system for me to know." 

Buffy turns to Giles. "Giles, how many stun darts do we have?" 

"Unfortunately not very many. Our only advantage is we know where the subjects will congregate." 

Buffy sighs. "Where ever Xander happens to be." 

Yes, they may be resting elsewhere at the moment but they will eventually find their way back to him." 

Everyone is nervous for the obvious reason. Is Oz the spiritual leader? 

Giles addresses Monica. "Monica, I sense you are…shall we say…in possession of some other talents we may be able to use in the future." 

Buffy can't help herself. She turns to Cordelia. "Great, one of Xander's groupies joins the team!" 

Monica decides to stand up to the slayer. "You know what I think?" 

"I don't care." 

"Why don't you grow up! Xander…" 

Buffy cuts her off. "Thanks for your help, Monica, but you don't tell me anything about Xander. I tell you. You understand?" 

"Buffy, I didn't do anything." 

"Good, now let's go to Xander." 

Giles intervenes. "Let's get back to the Hellmouth business. Willow, I have one red paint bomb for you. As soon as you identify Oz hit him with it." 

He goes to Monica. "Monica, would you feel confident enough to mark the spiritual leader with this paint bomb?" 

"I…I…yes, I'll try it." 

Buffy looks at Monica. She sees how nervous the newcomer is. The slayer goes to her. 

"Monica, Xander and I are having a few issues together. I'm a little sensitive right now…I'm sorry for attacking you." 

"Buffy, the first thing Xander did when he came into my house is tell me how much he loves you. I told my sister, Cindy, to cool it." 

"Thank you, Monica. Listen; don't be too worried out there. We have your back." 

The two girls hug. 

When they get to Monica's house Xander and Cindy are in the living room. When Xander sees Willow he hugs her tightly. "It will be okay, honey." 

Xander then goes to Buffy. "Can we go someplace private for a few minutes, please?" 

"Sure, babe." The slayer looks at Monica. "Monica, is there someplace private Xander and I could go for a few minutes?" 

Monica responds very warmly. "Sure, Buffy." 

She directs them to a separate room. "It's even sound proof." 

"Thank you." 

Buffy starts to give Xander a passionate kiss but the boy stops her. "What's the matter, honey?" 

"Buffy, I'm really scared." 

She holds him. "Xander, you're trembling." 

"I have this really bad feeling about this, Buffy." 

"Willow is going to mark him with paint." 

Xander walks away from the slayer "They're strong, Buffy. I'm not going to be able to control myself. Even the both of us. Willow…she's…you know, she's one of us. We can't let her down." 

For the first time Buffy realizes just how important Xander's friends are to him. He doesn't want to have romance with Willow but he's still concerned about her to the point that this is tearing him up. 

"Xander, come here." He comes to her. She sits him down, kneeling in front of him. She takes the hair from his eyes. "Listen, sweetie, we will do everything we can to make this come out good. Try to get yourself together. We need all the energy we can muster." 

She hugs him very tightly. Xander can feel her strength. 

"It's really great to have such a strong honey." 

They exchange a very passionate kiss. They both stagger out of it. Buffy has to say something. 

"When this is all over you are going to explain what the hell you are doing in the same house with Cindy?" 

"I'd rather face the werewolves." 

As they are going back to the living room Buffy has a very warm feeling inside despite the seriousness of the situation with Oz. Xander does need her and he certainly loves her. She should never doubt that. If only they could have a normal relationship. She still can't believe the intensity of her feeling for this Harris guy. 

When our two heroes come out Giles is, of course, perturbed that they had to take a "lovers" break at such a crucial time." 

"Are you two sufficiently lubricated so we can continue." 

Buffy is embarrassed. "It wasn't that kind of break, Giles." 

"I see. Well, whatever. Buffy, you and Xander will accompany Willow and Monica. The four of you will approach the pack first. Willow will mark Oz with the red paint. When she does that Cordelia, Amy, Devon, Cindy and myself will try to dart him and tie him to one of the trees." 

The watcher continues. "Hopefully, Monica will be able to identify the spiritual leader shortly after. Willow has the crossbow. She will be responsible for shooting it. We are counting on the rest of them scattering after that. We have some extra stun darts just in case we need them. However, we don't have a sufficient number to dart more than three or four of them. We have no idea how many darts it will take to sedate them in their present agitated state. If we can rescue Oz and take care of the spiritual leader, the rest is secondary. Everybody be careful and cover one another's back." 

The group walks into the woods. They come upon a clearing. Xander walks out front. After a few minutes they hear the wolves coming. With the moon providing a brilliant night light the pack maneuvers into a semi-circle around our friends. They have increased their numbers. There are now seven. They growl and grunt poising for attack 

Buffy looks to Willow. "Can you see Oz, Will?" 

"He should have a gold cross around his neck." 

Monica sees it. "He's right in the middle, Willow." 

Xander looks at the redhead. "Let's do it Will, on three…one…two…three!" 

She shoots him in the chest. The commotion scatters them for the moment but they quickly regroup. 

Buffy and Xander flank Monica. Willow readies the crossbow 

"Here they come again." Buffy looks to Monica. "We'll try to get real close, Monica" 

Willow gets worried. "I don't see Oz." Xander comments. "Shit, what the hell happened to Oz?" 

The six rush our foursome. Xander gets a feeling in his gut that he is going to have to fight Oz. 

The wolves have a plan. They fight to separate Xander from the rest of the group. Monica and Willow are struggling with two of them while Buffy tries to hold off two others. Giles and the rest of the group are trying to wait until Monica can identify the spiritual leader before they start firing. 

Monica calls to Willow. "Willow, it's not Oz. It's the one on Buffy right now." The slayer hears. She calls to Giles. "We got him, Giles, start with the stun darts." 

Willow loads the crossbow. 

In the mean time Xander has been maneuvered close to a hill. He slams one of the werewolves into a tree. A follow up punch and kick knocks the thing out. His partner rams into Xander, pushing him down a hill. When Xander rolls to the bottom Oz is waiting for him. The boy wonder is able to hit the other wolf with a rock to the face. It recovers to claw him to the chest. Oz gets in on the fight. He punches Xander in the head. 

Willow hits the spiritual leader straight to the heart with the arrow. The rest of the gang tries to deal with the remaining wolves. Buffy hasn't seen Xander for almost fifteen minutes and she is getting frantic. "Giles, where is Xander?" 

"They were able to isolate him. You clean up here I'll look for him." 

Xander has managed to reduce the fight to a one on one with Oz. He is very weak from loss of blood. This is Xander's worst nightmare. 

Oz smashes him but Xander blocks the follow-up. The wolf then springs toward the boy with all his might. Xander is now precariously close to a very jagged cliff. 

The boy wonder reaches to his pocket. He has a one-shot pistol crossbow Rebecca had given him some time ago. He feels himself losing control. Oz is furiously trying to throw him off the cliff. Xander's only chance to escape is to shoot Oz with the arrow that would probably kill him. He thinks of Willow…He can't fire it. He makes a decision not to kill the wolf, even to save himself. 

Xander feels himself start to slide down the twenty-foot drop of the cliff. He hits the ground with a thud. 

Giles comes upon Oz just as he is finished pushing Xander off. The watcher stuns him with a dart then pulls him from the edge. Once on safe footing he shoots a second one into the wolf. Oz is unconscious. Giles peers over the cliff for any sign of Xander. He can see very little. 

As the rest of the gang joins the watcher the sun is beginning to rise in the sky. Buffy is the first there. 

"Where's Xander?" 

Giles points to the cliff. Buffy rushes to the edge. Giles grabs her before she falls. 

Willow runs up. Buffy stares at her. She can't help it. She screams at the red head. 

"Are you satisfied now, Willow? He didn't kill Oz!" 

Willow breaks out crying. "I'm so sorry, Buffy." 

Cordelia runs up. She sees Oz alive. She joins Buffy and Willow. 

"Is Xander dead?" 

The brunet vents her frustration "He better not be, that's all I can say!" 

The dark shadows begin to give way to the rays of the sun. Monica sees him on the ground. 

"I see him, he's just to the right of that tree!" 

With the sun beginning to rise they are able to see a way to reach him. They all rush to his side. The first thing they see is the unfired pistol crossbow in Xander's hand. It is evident that Xander choose not to fire it. Buffy is furious. 

"I hope your satisfied, Willow!" 

Giles examines the boy. "He's still breathing, Buffy, he's still breathing! Somebody bring the car down." 

Xander is brought into the emergency room of the hospital. He is still unconscious. The gang waits in the lounge. 

Buffy is getting to know the place. How many times has she been here wondering, praying that Xander recover from his wounds? 

Hell, I'm the slayer. I'm the one who's suppose to be in constant danger. But, no chance that'll happen! Not when your soul mate is Xander Lavelle Harris! He'll jump off a cliff to save me or any of his friends. 

The slayer looks at Willow. She really yelled at her. She feels bad. It's not Willow's fault she loves Oz. Buffy doesn't exactly act rationally when it comes to her lover. She gets up and walks over to her best friend. The witch looks up at Buffy with tears in her eyes. 

"Buffy, I wanted Oz to live but I didn't want Xander to die! I love him, too." 

"I know you do, Will, I'm sorry for blowing up at you." 

They share a very tearful hug. Buffy continues her apology. 

"Willow, I love him so much. I can't stand to see him get hurt all the time." 

"I know, Buffy, I know. He could have saved himself. He didn't because of me." 

"You're probably right, Will, you mean that much to him." 

"I'm sorry I was hard Willow. Will you tell him that, Buffy." 

The slayer nods. The doctor interrupts the conversation. 

"He's going to live. He's suffered multiple injuries including a concussion and, a broken wrist. He lost quite a bit of blood from two puncture wounds on his chest and back. We stitched them. He has minor cuts, bruises and welts over more than fifty percent of his body." 

"Is there a Buffy here?" 

"Yes, that's me." 

"He keeps asking for you. You can go in to see him if you wish." 

Buffy goes into his room. He is awake but staring into space. The slayer can see he is very disgusted and sullen. She reaches to him. 

"Hello, sweetie." 

The boy looks but doesn't reply. 

"Xander, they are going to release you soon. Everyone will be…" 

He interrupts her. "I don't want to see anyone." 

"Honey, they're your friends." 

"Oh, all of a sudden I'm allowed to have friends?" 

Buffy starts to caress his face. 

"Xander, I know it was awful. I know it was unfair. It was bad enough they were attacking you but you couldn't even defend yourself right because it was Oz." 

"Buffy, I didn't know what to do. The only way I could save myself was to kill him" 

"I know, sweetie. As upset as I was at Willow and the whole world, I know you made the right decision. We live for others, Xander. That is who we are and what we do. As heartbroken as I was that you might have died for Willow and Oz I know you did the right thing," 

Xander is really listening to his honey. She continues. "I fell in love with you. Every day you do things to deepen my love even more. You have a right to be upset but you survived. And you made a certain red-headed witch the happiest girl in the world." 

Xander stares at Buffy in love and wonder. 

"Why are you looking at me like that." 

"I can't believe it." 

"Believe what?" 

"Just a few minutes ago I was so upset I didn't think I could face anybody. But, then you came to me. Now I feel…almost good. I feel like a big weight was lifted from me. You did it. I don't have to spend hours at my thinking place to get over it." 

"You cured me again you luscious hunk of slayer love you!" 

Buffy is blushing. It really turns her on when Xander needs her. She is always afraid he doesn't. But, she clearly lifted the weight of this whole thing for him. It's getting to be a habit. One she would gladly dispense whenever needed. This is one of those magical moments when love deepens and both of them are aware of it. 

They embrace for a long time. When they break Xander is ready to face the others with a happy heart. 

When the gang sees that Xander has a smile on his face the whole mood changes. The first person he seeks out is Willow. They embrace in a teary hug. 

"Did I do you proud, girl?" 

"Xander, thank you so much. In all the time that I've known you I have never been more proud of you than I am now. I'm sorry I was so whiny." 

"It all turned out okay, Will." 

Cordelia is next. She grabs her heart. "Xander, how many times are you going to almost die?" 

"I hope this is the last time for a little while, anyway." 

Monica comes to Xander. "Monica, thanks for your help. I'm so glad I met you." 

"You're quite a person, Xander. I wished I had met you a long time ago." They hug very warmly. 

Buffy can't help it. She is jealous. If Xander were ever to wake up and see all the wonderful people he attracts." 

Any one of them could give him more than I do. 

Giles greets Xander. "Good show, Xander." 

"Thank you, Giles." 

The watcher is worried. He knows Xander can ill afford to relax. In addition to liking the boy himself Giles is aware of how much his slayer needs and loves him. 

"Xander, Rebecca will be back tomorrow. Training will resume in the evening." 

"Yes, watcher person, I'll be there." 

Buffy hears this interaction. She has something to say. 

"Tomorrow night is off, Giles. He has a prior commitment." 

"I do?" 

"You stay out of this." 

"He has a very important meeting tomorrow." 

"Buffy, I must object." 

"And we will certainly make note of your objection." 

Both Xander and Giles stare at the slayer. 

"Neither one of you have anything to say about it. The slayer has spoken!" 

Cindy comes to Xander. "Is this what your whole life is like, Xander?" 

"Yea, isn't it fun?" 

Cindy's face drops. Xander hugs her. "I'm only kidding, Cindy. Thanks for helping." 

"My sister is always into something. It's interesting. You meet lots of neat people. 

Cindy makes eyes at Xander when she says that last part. Xander puts his arm around her. He points to Buffy. 

"You see that nasty looking little person over there. She has a spell on me so I love her. She killed the last three girls who made eyes at me. She is actually very scary. Sometimes she beats me up for even talking to other females." 

Everyone is hearing Xander's conversation with Cindy, now. Xander continues. 

"That's true. I can't even look at another female…even dogs…fish. She's got a real problem." 

Everyone is laughing. Buffy grabs Xander, as they are ready to leave. 

"Wait until I get you alone, Lavelle." 

"You see, Cindy. I told you. She just threatened me." 

The gang leaves in good spirits, having closed the book on another Hellmouth adventure. 

For now everyone is still alive and well. Who knows about tomorrow?

* * *

Go on to Part Twelve 

* * *

  
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	17. Chapter 12

* * *

Part Twelve: Buffy Watching 

* * *

Buffy walks hurriedly down the main hallway of Sunnydale high. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Xander. She hasn't seen him all day. He has been avoiding her. Not because he is mad at her or anything like that. He is engaging in one of his favorite practices, Buffy watching. He loves to watch her from a distance. She shakes her head and chuckles to herself. 

The boy is crazy. 

She is in a hurry so she can't stop, anyway. She will definitely do something to him as soon as she has more time. 

Later in the day Buffy and Cindy walk together into the lunchroom. They sit down at a table, waiting for the rest of the gang. Cindy sees Xander at one of the far off tables. 

"Oh, there's Xander. I'll tell him to come over." 

"He won't come." 

"Why, you two didn't have a…" 

"Down girl, we didn't have a fight." 

"Don't hit me, Buffy, I'm only a sophomore." 

"I won't hit you Cindy. He won't come over because he is doing what he calls Buffy watching. He likes to watch me from a distance sometimes. He's basically a stalker at heart." 

"Well, I guess it is kind of cute." 

"You think everything Xander does is cute, don't you?" 

After lunch Buffy sneaks behind Xander. She lightly touches his underarms with her fingers. He jumps, dropping his books. Buffy gets a good laugh 

"I love to do that!" 

Buffy waits for Xander at the Bronze. Willow and Oz are there as well as Monica, Cindy, Devon and Amy. Cordelia is sitting with Giles and Rebecca. The slayer is getting worried. 

"Has anyone seen Xander." Oz speaks up. 

"We were together earlier but I haven't seen him tonight." 

Buffy decides to look for him. She looks outside. She sees someone sitting up against a telephone pole. She walks up the block to see if it's her honey. 

It is. She slowly approaches him. 

"Is there a place here for a broken down slayer?" 

"It has your name on it, babe." 

She sits down. Xander looks at her, sighing. 

"You know, I was reading about the blues. You know, the music. You listen to sad, depressing stories of pain and suffering but somehow it actually makes you feel better." 

Buffy doesn't respond. Xander continues. "They're going to get you, Buffy. I know they are. I'm no good for you. I'm suppose to be taking the heat off of you and instead I bring twice as much down on you." 

He looks at Buffy waiting for her reaction. When she doesn't say anything he gets upset. 

"You have nothing to say!" 

Buffy gets up. She takes Xander's hand. She starts to walk him back towards the Bronze. He stops. 

"I'm waiting for your opinion about what I said." 

"Xander, we are going to go to the Bronze right now. We are going to dance. You are going to show me a good time. We are going to dance with each other the way we did on our only official date." 

"You are going to be charming and funny and sexy. I am going to show you why you fantasize about me every night. That is what we are going to do. Do you understand?" 

By the look on Buffy's face Xander can tell that the discussion he is looking for is not going to take place tonight. He thinks he better drop it. 

"Yes, honey, I understand." 

"Good, now let's get to the dance floor. You better do me proud, stud. I don't dance with just anybody." 

Xander does, indeed, do her proud. He pours all his feeling for her into each dance. The slayer answers every move and adds some of her own. It is a true work of beauty. Each pulsating with the other's heart and soul, swaying and bobbing and weaving and dipping to a rhythm found deep inside. The music merely helps to bring it to the surface. The slayer has to tell Xander her feelings. 

"Xander, when we dance like this I can tell that we were destined to be together. I can feel something inside of me coming together with you. I can't explain it. We just have this meeting." 

Xander is really getting turned on. "Buffy, do you know how romantic that is?" 

"Based on your bodies' present reaction I can get a good idea." 

"How about your body? What is your present reaction?" 

"I'd say that if we don't get somewhere private very soon I will just have to jump you right here!" 

"That's serious. Let's get out of here before it is too late!" 

Our loving duo rush to Xander's house post haste.

* * *

After the festivities Xander gets very pensive. Buffy knows there is something heavy on his mind. She has a good idea what it is. 

"Xander, why don't you ever talk to Rebecca about yourself?" 

"How do you know I don't?" 

"Are you kidding?" 

"No." 

"Xander I know everything there is to know about you. Well, I take that back. I know everything that everybody else knows and a few things they don't. But, nobody knows everything about you." 

"I see, you just take it upon yourself to know everything Xander." 

"Yep." 

After thinking about that. "Do you remember when you were worried that you didn't know how to love me?" 

"I do." 

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore." 

"Thank you sweetie." 

After another few minutes of silence, "Buffy?" 

"Yes." 

"Am…am I…a freak?" 

Buffy closes her eyes before answering. She knew this was weighing on his mind. And, she also knows what is going to come out of his thought and worry. He is concerned that she is in love with a freak. He's afraid it is pulling her down in some way. 

"Buffy, I objected to you loving Angel because of what he was. He was pulling you down." 

Buffy leans up planting a kiss on Xander's nose. 

"Xander, you are no more of a freak than I am. You do not pull me down. When I am with you I am at peak performance. Honey, you have it all down for me. In addition to loving you I also trust you. I would put my life in your hands any time. That's the slayer talking not a weak kneed little girl. You have my back." 

"If I start to weigh you down we have to…" 

"Don't say it, sweetie." 

She gets up, climbing on top of him. "I've had enough of Xander the priest giving me sermons?" 

She starts to tickle him. She caught him off guard. He is helpless in a manner of seconds. 

"You better hope the daemons don't discover your little problem like I have. We'd be in big trouble. Every time you get like this I will get you unmercifully. Now, kiss me like you mean it, lover. Let's go back to that place we visited when we first came here."

* * *

Both Buffy and Xander decide to put their noses to the grindstone as far as school is concerned. For the next week they don't even do the Bronze. They see very little of one another. 

Of course, this will not do for long. They don't even train together. Buffy trains with Giles while Xander does his thing with Rebecca. 

Xander sees Buffy in the hall, going to her locker. He approaches her as if he doesn't know her. Willow is there too. 

"Excuse me, I've seen you around the halls. Don't think me too forward or anything but, can I ask your name?" 

Buffy decides to go along with it. "Buffy, Buffy Summers." 

"I'm Xander Harris. I don't…I don't usually do this but…would you…consider going over to that…closet over there. We could…I don't know…maybe we could…" 

"Listen, let's just skip all the preliminaries. Will you just lie down with me, make passionate love, marry me, have my children and live with me for the rest of your life? I know this is sudden but just consider it. Give me your answer tomorrow." 

Xander goes to walk away. Buffy grabs his arm. She waits until the coast is clear then she drags him into the closet. 

"Okay, crazy man, shut up and kiss me." 

"Oh, no, you're not going to use me for your lust and cheap sex." 

"Xander!" 

"I'm being seduced against my will." 

She drowns him in a kiss. "If I don't get prolonged contact with your lips pretty soon I'm going to be a basket case." 

"Well, Ms Buffy Summers, get a grip on your hormones. Girls your age should learn self control and good oral hygiene." 

"When I'm not with you, you just go off the deep end, don't you?" 

She grabs him in another kiss. This time he puts his entire self into it. Buffy likes it. 

"Wow, now I remember why I love you!" 

"That's a pretty cheesy reason?" 

She gets his underarm, then back to kissing. 

"God, woman, you are hot!" 

"Your house tonight, major libido unload. You better be there!" 

Buffy leaves, catching up to Willow. 

"Buffy, you have that "I haven't seen my boyfriend for a week and we just had major whoopee in the closet hair." 

Buffy can't answer. She is too busy trying to calm herself for class. 

That night Xander meets Buffy for patrol. The whole gang will meet them at the cemetery. 

The Boy Wonder goes to her house. She climbs out her bedroom window, blond hair glistening in the moonlight. She wears her black tee shirt, faded jeans with black belt and combat boots. She is pure slayer goddess tonight. Watching her come to him gets Xander's juices boiling. She knows it, too. He meets her with a kiss straight from the depths of his soul. 

When they break neither can move for a full minute. Finally, Xander shakes his head. 

"You wipe me out, woman." 

Buffy just sighs. She doesn't even know where she is. "What…are we suppose to be doing, Xander?" 

"Damned if I know." 

They walk down the street in stunned silence. Xander speaks. "Buffy, how is it possible for one man to have so much feeling for one woman?" 

"You're asking the wrong person, Xander. I had to give up trying to figure out what you do to me. It' just one of those mysteries of life." 

They walk in silence, again, just grooving on their encounter. As they near the cemetery Buffy snaps out of it. 

"Wait a minute, Xander, I can't go into the cemetery, yet. I…I have to get myself back together." 

She sits down on the curb. Xander sits with her. "No, you can't sit here. Go away, Xander. I can't see you or smell you or hear you talk or else I'll never get myself together." 

After she calms herself she joins him again. "You know, I could get you arrested for doing that to me." 

As soon as they enter the cemetery the mood changes dramatically. The aura of evil is thick enough to cut with a pair of scissors. Buffy and Xander instinctively go back to back. 

"Xander?" 

"Yea, babe?" 

"Give me a kiss." He does. "I love you, Xander." 

"Back at you, slayer." 

They see the rest of the gang come into the cemetery. Everyone immediately picks up the vibe. 

Rebecca comments. "Get ready for something heavy, gang!" 

They hear a tremendous roar. When they look around the cemetery is suddenly filled with more vampires than any of them have ever seen at one time before. Hundreds of them! 

Monica speaks for all of them. "I didn't know there were this many vampires in the whole world." 

Oz tries to lighten the mood. "Maybe they're having some kind of a festival or something." 

Rebecca suddenly thinks of something. "I'm too young to die." 

Before long they see five figures emerge from the army. They are immediately recognizable. 

It is Mr. and Mrs. Harris, Spike, Drusilla and Rachel. The first thing, which pops into Xander's mind, is that he hopes he doesn't have to tangle with Rachel. 

Buffy looks at Xander. "I'll do this, honey." 

"Let's both do it, Buffy." 

They both advance to meet them. 

Xander's father is the first to speak. He looks back to Xander's mother. "Well, look at this, Mary, we get to have a family reunion." 

"Do we get to show around his ugly ass baby pictures to embarrass him in front of his friends?" 

Xander gets real close to them. Buffy gets nervous. "You know, mom, he use to cheat on you when you were both alive. Does he still get a little on the side or don't blood suckers worry about such things? Angel use to get it on with Dru. You know what, dad, I'll bet you shagged the lot of them, didn't you?" 

Mr. Harris speaks. "We just wanted to congratulate you for disposing of Malcolm. Gees, son, you just keep knocking off our rivals. We really brought you up well." 

Mrs. Harris gets closer to Xander. "Come to Mama and give her a big kiss." 

Xander gets close to her. He suckers her in the mouth. 

Buffy jumps. "Jesus Christ, Xander!" 

Spike kicks him. Mr. Harris smacks him in the face. "You insolent pup!" 

Buffy makes a move toward them. Xander addresses Rachel. "Next time I see you, Bitch, you're dust!" 

The vamps are not in a fighting mood. They take off. As they are leaving Xander is really pissed. "Me and the slayer against any two of you!" 

"Rebecca, me and the slayer against any five of you! You chicken shit sons of bitches!" 

He throws a couple of rocks at them. "Get your fucking monkeys out of here, too!" 

Xander collapses against a gravestone. Buffy goes back to the rest of the group. Everybody is breathing heavy and hugging each other. The slayer goes to Rebecca. She just shakes her head. 

"I told you he was scary, Rebecca." 

"He brings them to the brink every time. Is he okay?" 

"No, but I've learned to let him calm down first before I try to comfort him." 

Willow comes to the slayer. "Hard Xander is very scary Xander." 

"He takes your breath away." 

The redhead talks to Giles. "Are we all dead, Giles?" 

"Well…" 

"I know, Giles, have to check the books, Right." The watcher nods. 

Giles looks at Buffy. "Buffy…does Xander always…" 

"Yes, he does. He pushes it with them all the time. He can't stand that sarcastic thing they do. That's why Angel got him so pissed off all the time." 

Cindy asks the slayer, "Does he always hit somebody, too?" 

"He always does the most shocking thing possible. I'm sorry, guys." 

Cordelia is wondering about Rachel. "What is it with Rachel. I thought she was on our side?" 

Buffy doesn't answer. Cordelia looks at Xander. "Is he okay?" 

"Be my guest to find out but, hold on to your head." 

"That's okay. I still remember what he's like when he's mad. He's all yours." 

Just then a lone vampire comes out of one of the graves. Buffy looks at him. 

"Aren't you a bit anti-climactic, pal?" 

Cordelia continues it. "You are definitely out of the loop." 

The slayer flips it and Cordelia stakes it. They look at each other. 

Giles addresses everyone. "I think we can call it a night. I'm sure Buffy and Xander can take care of whatever else they may encounter here." 

Monica goes to Buffy. "If you need help come over to my house. My father is away." 

"Thank you, Monica." 

"Willow talks to Buffy. Yea, Buff, Oz, Devon and I are going over if you need anything. Good luck with what's his name." 

Buffy rolls her eyes. "Thanks, I need it." 

The gang leaves. Buffy sits down beside Xander. He is oblivious to everything. 

"Those bastards! The same shit all the time!" 

He stares at the slayer. She knows it's sermon time. She closes her eyes. 

"What are we going to do about this, Buffy?" 

"About what in particular, Xander?" 

"Don't act stupid, slayer. What if all those vamps would have come while you were all zonked out and weak-kneed?" 

Buffy stares at him in disbelief! 

"Excuse me, you were the one who got me all zonked out and weak-kneed to begin with and, you weren't exactly control guy either!" 

"I know, I'm just as bad." 

"Wait a minute, Xander, what does us making out have to do with 300 vampires appearing in the cemetery?" 

He doesn't answer. 

"You didn't answer because there is no connection. It's only in your mind that such things make sense." 

It's time for Buffy to save Xander from himself, again, to save the both of them. She is glad she knows him so well. She loves him but sometimes he can really be ridiculous. 

"Xander, I know you're hurt. You have a right to be mad even more so than the rest of us. I'll comfort you. I'll sleep with you. I'll even listen to your tirade but we are not breaking up. We are not going to stop doing all the nice things we do for each other. And, we are not going to stop loving each other." 

She puts her finger in his face. "Do you understand that, Xander? None of your temper solutions, understand?" 

Xander lowers his head. Buffy reaches down with her hand, raising his head back to eye level. 

"Answer me, Xander." 

"Yes, I understand." 

"Good, now lets go to your house." The slayer slides her arm in around Xander's waist. He puts his arm around her shoulder. 

After a few minutes of silence, "Xander, the more I get to know you the more you scare me." 

"How so, oh almighty slayer?' 

"We had one of the scariest moments we have ever had back there but you still had the presence of mind to do that little protection thing for Rachel. You're too much!" 

Xander stares at Buffy. He didn't think anybody would catch that. 

"You didn't think I would catch that, did you? I told you I knew everything about you." 

Xander looks down at the slayer. "Are you mad at me, honey?" 

She sighs. "No, I guess not." 

"By the way, Xander. Your proposition to me in the school hallway this morning. It's not as ridiculous as it sounds." 

Xander doesn't want to go there. Buffy doesn't press it. 

They get to Xander's house. They spend some very nice time together. Buffy promised her mother she would not be gone all night. She is torn between being the dutiful daughter and spending the night with the man she loves. It is a very hard decision for her. Because of the dangerous nature of their lives she feels very sad whenever she leaves Xander. 

She may be Buffy, vampire slayer extraordinary, but she is also a young woman. A young woman very much in love with an exceptional young man, Alexander Lavelle Harris. Her stomach still flutters and her heart still skips a beat whenever she thinks of him. 

She is vulnerable and open in front of him. She can't help it. She wears her heart on her sleeve when it comes to Xander. This is such a contrast to her normal mode of operation as the slayer. 

It is really hurting her to leave him at night. This isn't a crush or even a normal teenage love affair. This is it as far as she is concerned. There is no reason not to move to the next step, to make it officially permanent. She has hinted as much to Xander a few times but for some reason he won't take it seriously. 

Her parents are both wandering what is going on. Her mother is not stupid. She knows her and Xander are not platonic. Joyce has asked her repeatedly to have him over. Buffy cannot keep dismissing her. She has to bring it up to Xander. She is quite nervous about it. 

Buffy is sitting on the sofa with Xander's head on her lap. He can see she is deep in thought. 

"A penny for your thoughts, Buff." 

"I have to go home tonight, Xander." 

"I know, honey, it's okay." 

"No, it's not, Xander, I don't want to go." 

"Well, then stay." 

Buffy gets up. She walks to the door. "It's so easy for you, isn't it?" 

"What are you talking about, honey?" 

"I could go or I could stay. Either way is okay for you." 

Xander walks to her. He holds her. Buffy can tell he has no idea what's bothering her. 

She breaks from him. "You have no idea why I'm upset, do you?" 

"Buffy, please." He tries to hug her. "Don't touch me, Xander." 

He backs away from her, closing his eyes. 

"I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow at school." 

"Oh, great. You're not going to tell me. Now, I won't sleep all night worrying about what I did wrong." 

"Maybe it will come to you in a midnight vision." 

"Very funny." 

"Good night, Xander, we'll talk about it tomorrow." 

"Can I have a kiss goodnight?" 

She reluctantly obliges. "Good night, slayer." 

"Good night." 

* * *

Go on to Part Thirteen 

* * *

  
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	18. Chapter 13-14

* * *

Part Thirteen: That's My Job, Buffy 

* * *

Author's Note: This section contains possible spoiler for Season4. I decided to include the scenario in this chapter. This is the way I wish it would happen. So much for dreaming! 

Xander has a very bad night. He dreams about Buffy being shot. He has the dream three times. He is convinced it is more than just a dream. He decides to go to Buffy's house. He is very upset but he doesn't bother her until it is time for school. 

When she leaves her house he is waiting for her. It is obvious he hasn't slept all night. Buffy goes to him. 

"Xander, what's the matter?" 

"Something is going to happen to you, Buffy. I have to stay with you." 

"Xander, honey, is this because I got upset last night?" 

"No, it has nothing to do with that." 

"Look, Xander, come into my house." 

Buffy takes Xander into her house. Joyce is there. 

"Mom, is it okay if Xander sits down for awhile." 

"Of course. Is he okay?" 

Buffy doesn't know what to say since Joyce knows very little of her and Xander's life. 

Xander talks to her. 

"I'm okay, Mrs. Summers. I had a bad dream about Buffy. It just shook me up, that's all. I'll be alright." 

"It was just a dream, see, I'm okay. No broken bones. Everything is where it's suppose to be." 

Joyce is always glad when she discovers things about her daughter. She found out something very important this morning. This boy, Xander, is more than a friend. She has never seen her daughter look at anyone the way she looks at Xander. He's much more than a friend to her. Buffy's feelings for him have obviously grown since the last time she saw them together after he sent the singing telegram. 

Buffy makes some tea. Joyce stares at her. 

"Buffy could I ask you something?" 

Buffy thinks of blowing her off but decides to answer whatever question she asks. 

"What, mom?" 

"You love Xander, don't you?" 

"Is it that obvious, mom?" 

"It's written all over you. It's quite…nice, actually. It is very apparent he loves you, too." 

"He does, mom. He lives for me. Everything he does has something to do with me." 

"I'm so happy for you, Buffy." They exchange a nice hug. 

"Is he going to be okay?" 

"I think so." 

Buffy serves Xander some tea. He drinks it then they leave for school. Xander is very quiet. 

The slayer looks at him. 

"Xander, I'm okay." 

"I had the dream three times, Buffy. I have to stay with you, today." 

"Okay, I'll go along with that. Anything to make us spend time together is okay by me." 

"Buffy, please take this serious." 

"As soon as school is over we are going to your house and you are going to take a nap." 

"Only if you stay with me." 

"I will." 

Xander cannot shake his bad feeling. They go into school. Buffy goes to her locker. She talks Xander into going to his class instead of going with her. He leaves, walking down the hall toward his classroom. 

As he is walking he passes three people in trench coats. He gets a very heavy negative vibe from them. Just as he turns around to go back toward Buffy all three reach into their coats and pull out guns. 

They point them in Buffy's direction. Xander begins to run getting as close to them as he can. Just as they are firing he dives sideways across them. One of the bullets hits Buffy in the arm. One lodges itself in the locker beside her and the third grazes Xander as he blocks its intended path. 

Xander ignores his wound. He jumps for Buffy. He grabs her hand, rushing for the fire tower closest to the lockers. The assassin's regroup and pursue them. The slayer is woozy from being shot. 

After Buffy is safely in the tower Xander flings himself back at the door. It flies open, slamming against one of the attackers. The gun flies out of his hand. Xander picks it up as he falls to the ground. He jumps back into the tower as the other two fire another round. He is able to shoot the now unarmed one as he opens the door, again. The other two retreat. Xander stakes the one he shot. It bursts to dust. The boy flies back into the tower, grabbing Buffy in the process. They rush down the steps. 

The other two waste little time in following. At one point our boy wonder turns the tables on them. He hides on a lower floor. After they pass he makes a flying leap down on them firing the gun as he is in flight. He manages to kill one of them but takes a bullet to the stomach. He runs back down the steps before the final assassin can recover. Buffy is still stunned by the onslaught but her wound has stopped bleeding. The bullet only grazed her. 

Xander grabs her hand. They go to the bottom of the tower. Xander sees Oz, outside. He calls to him. 

"Oz, man, there's a guy with a gun somewhere in this tower. Can you go up to the top and chase him our way?' 

Oz agrees. Buffy goes to Xander. She hugs him 

"Xander, let's get out of here!" 

"No way, Buffy, they're after you!" 

Xander runs toward the top. When Buffy looks at her hand it is filled with blood from his stomach. She runs to stop him. 

Oz takes a big trashcan. He throws it down the fire tower steps trying to roust the gunman toward Xander. It works. 

Xander rushes him just as he is firing. He takes another bullet but knocks the attacker down. He stakes him then collapses just as Buffy reaches him. He has blood all over his face and chest. 

The ambulance takes Xander to the hospital. Buffy is in shock. It all happened so fast. All she can see is Xander full of blood. He might have a fast healing power but one of these days he is not going to recover. 

Xander was like a man possessed. They were after her. There was no way that Xander was going to stop going after them. It was either they or he. There was no question about it. If Buffy had any doubts about Xander's seriousness in trying to protect her this certainly got rid of them. He was relentless. 

The funny thing is that it doesn't make her feel good or safe. She had to watch the man she loves get all shot up and nearly killed. It was extremely terrifying for her. She has risked her life many times but this was different. This was Xander. She cannot take seeing him all bloody and broken. It immobilized her. Her heart can't take it. 

The gang joins Buffy in still another vigil at the hospital. This is Xander's second home. The slayer is in a very bad mood to put it mildly. Willow goes to her. 

"Buffy, did he really get shot?" 

The slayer can only shake her head in disgust and worry. Willow notices blood on Buffy's blouse and skirt. She also sees the wound on her arm. 

"Buffy, you're hurt, too." 

Buffy answers the redhead in a very sarcastic manner "It's nothing. I won't get hurt ever again. Didn't you hear I have my own personal bodyguard? He sees things coming at me twenty seconds before I do. I'm so lucky!" 

Oz can't help himself. "Unbelievable!" 

The slayer is in the mood to have it out with somebody. Oz will do. 

"What is that suppose to mean, Oz?" 

"I'm sorry, Buffy. The guy is in there all busted up and shot up for you but…" 

The slayer doesn't let him finish. "I'm suppose to be happy about it? The man I love was just taken out of school in an ambulance. I have his blood all over me. Is he dead this time? How about next time?" 

"We all take those risks. That's part of the territory when we decided to help you." 

"Oh, that's right. I forgot. That's his job, isn't it?" She looks at Giles. "You love this, don't you? Xander's in there instead of me. Boy, he's really an efficient…whatever he is…that's another thing. Xander might be okay with all this mystery stuff about himself but I'm not. We're going to have a long talk. I want to know everything there is to know about Xander. I want answers!" 

Turning back to Oz. "Oz, ask Willow if she wants to see you all bruised and broken for her all the time?" 

The doctor comes in. Xander lost a lot of blood but they removed the bullets. There doesn't seem to be any internal injury. He is responding well to treatment. He is in stable condition. They are going to hold him overnight to make sure. He is presently sleeping but can have visitors as soon as he wakes up. 

Buffy goes down to the cafeteria with Rebecca. 

"Buffy, I am very sorry." 

"I know he does it for me, Rebecca. I didn't see them in time. If it wasn't for him…" 

After sniffing back some tears the slayer continues. "We had a chance to run. When I told him he looked at me, shocked. All he said was they were after me. Like that automatically means he has to battle them until either he or they are dead. He said it like it was the most natural thing in the world." 

Rebecca doesn't say anything. 

"Rebecca, I'm the slayer. I know all about danger and risk. I know we have to take care of business. But, I cannot stand for him to be constantly diving in front of everything coming my way. What if they come with a bazooka or a tank? Is he just going to throw himself in front of it?" 

"Buffy, I can understand your point. Unfortunately, in addition to being your bodyguard Xander also loves you. I don't see how you'll ever get him to stop." 

Buffy feels like an idiot. She has a man willing to risk his life for her at a drop of a hat but she can't accept it. 

But, why is it so hard to understand? She loves him as much as he loves her. She wants to save him from pain and injury the same way he wants to save her. That's what nobody seems to understand. 

Rebecca sees Buffy's dilemma. "Buffy, I don't know the solution to this. You have to talk to him. It's really between you and Xander. Of course, Rupert doesn't help. I'll talk to him." 

"Try to make him understand. He's concerned with my health and safety. I need Xander in one piece to feel safe and secure." 

"I'll talk to him, Buffy. On the other matter, I'll set up a time for you and I and Giles to get together to discuss what we know of our dear brother."

* * *

Giles failed to mention to the gang the arrival of another watcher from England. Some members of the watcher's council consider the scene surrounding Buffy as a rogue operation. It is quite unusual for a slayer to have anyone help her let alone a whole crowd as Buffy has. And this relationship between Buffy and Xander has them particularly riled. It is most curious and unacceptable. Buffy is too independent from them and too dependent on her so called helpers. 

Also, there are some members of the council who are not pleased with her performance. They have a plan to test her.

* * *

Buffy is at the hospital when Xander is discharged. He knows she was not happy with the scene at the school. They walk in silence to his house. They have some tea. 

"Buff, I know you're not happy with the way this thing went down but could we push off talking about it." 

They look at each other. Xander gets up. He goes to Buffy. "When I saw them pull those guns I thought…" 

He can't finish, as he has to fight back tears. Buffy takes his hand leading him to the sofa. He buries his head in her chest. 

"I thought they were going to kill you, Buffy." 

"I know you did, Xander. So did they. They had no idea how overmatched they were." 

Buffy decides to hold her issues for another time. 

"You're my hero, honey." 

"I am?" 

"Of course you are. Xander, how are you able to see something coming at me twenty seconds before even I do?" 

"I don't know, Buff, but I thank God for it every night." 

She looks at him in awe and admiration. "Xander, I can't even tell you how much you mean to me. I can't figure out who loves you more, me as Buffy the vampire slayer or, me as Buffy Anne Summers." 

They groove on each other but Buffy has to leave. 

"Xander, I told my mom I would spend tonight with her. It's an anniversary of sorts. Not a pleasant one, though. This is the date my dad…left us. It's really a sad time. I need to try to cheer her up." 

"Do you want help or is it a private thing?" 

Buffy wasn't expecting this. She thinks about it for a minute. 

"Well, actually, my mother really likes you. Are you sure you want to do this, honey?" 

"Yea, I like your mom." 

Xander spends the evening with Joyce and Buffy. He is charming and funny and quite a conversationalist. It was just what Joyce needed. She laughed so hard she almost split a gut. 

Buffy thought she had seen all sides of Xander Lavelle Harris. Apparently he still has a few things to show her. They spend some time sitting on the front porch. Buffy is quiet. She has a funny look on her face. Xander knows she is really blown away. 

"And, you thought I didn't have anymore surprises up my sleeve. You thought you knew every little thing about me." 

She leans on him. "I don't want to talk about it. Just look at the moon and be quiet." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

Buffy's mom comes out to the porch. "Did you two conspire to try to cheer me up tonight?" 

Neither answers. "Well, you were successful." 

Joyce gives them both a hug. 

Buffy is going to spend the night with her mom. She says her goodnights to her true love. 

"Buff, can we please trust my dreams? " 

"Yes, Xander, we will." 

"Okay. Good night my sweet slayer" 

After a few dynamite kisses they bid each other adieu. 

When Buffy goes in her mother talks to her. 

"Honey, he is a real prize. I really like him." 

"Thanks, mom. I love him with everything inside of me."

* * *

Somewhere inside a cave on the outskirts of town two impeccably dressed middle age men talk to a young handsome lad in his mid-twenties. His name is Riley Finn. 

"You understand your assignment, Riley?" 

"Yes, I'm to befriend the slayer, win her confidence and then monitor her behavior for the council." 

"At which time a decision will be made concerning her future. You will be given various behavior modifiers to administer to her to make your job easier. They are activated by contact. The effect will be gradual. You are the agent of control for these. You will be responsible for insuring the proper outcome. Is that clear to you?" 

"I understand. This is what I have been created for and highly trained to perform. I have not failed in the past and I don't see any failure in my immediate future." 

"You will be doing a service for all mankind." 

"That is secondary. I will do what I am suppose to do." 

Riley Finn is given a car. He drives off in the direction of Sunnydale and Buffy. 

The two men watch him leave. 

"What about her watcher?" 

"Wesley was told that he and his renegade slayer are not going to be allowed to continue. They must conform to the proper watcher/slayer code. He has no choice. She has no choice." 

"How about that young boyfriend of hers?" 

"He will be dealt with appropriately. Mr. Giles operation is the laughing stock of the entire community. We do have our decorum, Mr. Thomas. These bloody Americans scoff at anything involving protocol and good manners. It's time they were put into their place." 

"I understand that part, Mr. Howard. The part I don't understand is the slayer needing to be eliminated." 

"Some things are not for you to understand, Mr. Thomas. Some of us in the council think it is time for us to have another slayer. One more in line with our world view."

* * *

Buffy and Giles are in the library training. Riley Finn comes in. He is a well-built young man, approximately six feet tall, with brown hair and dark brown bedroom eyes. Buffy definitely notices him. Giles walks toward him. 

"Can I help you?" 

"I'm looking for Rupert Giles and Buffy Summers." 

"You have found us, both." 

"My name is Riley Finn." 

Giles was expecting him. "Oh, yes…ah…come in. Sit down." 

Buffy has a strange look on her face. She turns toward Giles. 

"Buffy…ah…I didn't tell you…" 

He is interrupted by the arrival of an older, well-dressed man who is definitely cultured and British. Very proper and stuffy, he makes Giles look like one of the boys. 

Now, Buffy is very puzzled. Giles tries to explain. 

"Ah…Buffy, this gentleman is from the watcher's council. He…" 

The visitor walks forward, interrupting Giles. "Yes, my name is Wesley. This young man is Riley. I believe we can be on a first name basis, yes?' 

He holds out his hand to Buffy. She looks at Giles then back to Wesley. 

"That depends on who you are and what you want?" 

Giles answers. "Buffy, Wesley and Riley are from the watcher's council. They are here to help us." 

Wesley adds. "Yes, we will straighten this whole mess out." 

Buffy is amused. "You and your…friend here are going to straighten out the whole Hellmouth? Pointing to Riley. "What is he Superman or something?" 

"You will find Riley very adept at providing any assistance necessary." 

Buffy is not sure what this means. "I don't understand." 

"Didn't your watcher inform you of the purpose of our coming here?" 

She looks at Giles. "Well…we have had some rather heavy activity of late. Three assassins of unknown origin attacked Buffy." 

"Well, she looks none the worse for wear. I trust they were eliminated?" 

"Yea, thanks to Xander." 

Wesley turns to Giles. "Xander, isn't he that troublesome boy who hangs about?" 

Buffy, of course, takes offense. "Look, mister, I don't know who you are or why you're here but, if you want me to have anything to do with you at all don't refer to my soul mate as "that troublesome boy". It ain't healthy to do it in front of me." 

Wesley looks at Giles. "Is she always so insolent?" 

Giles decides to take the bull by the horns. "Perhaps Buffy and I should have a discussion. Maybe you and Riley could meet us here, same time, tomorrow?" 

"Yes, perhaps that would be appropriate." 

Wesley and Riley leave. 

Buffy stares hard at Giles. "Talk to me, Giles." 

"Unfortunately, Buffy, we are both employed by the watcher's council. We don't speak about it very often but we do work for them. It seems certain members of the council felt that we are in need of assistance." 

"Giles, when have we ever not done what we were suppose to do?" 

"There's more to it than that, Buffy." 

"I don't like either one of them, Giles. Isn't that important?" 

"Unfortunately, no." 

"I can tell you right now Xander won't work with either one of them." 

"Ah…Buffy, we're going to have to do things a little different while they're around. They…they have a little stricter regimen, I'm afraid. For the time being you will have to work with Riley and only Riley." 

"Giles, you're scaring me." 

"Buffy…I don't think they'll be around very long. But, while they are here we really have no choice but to go along with the program." 

"I have a choice, Giles. My life is hard enough. I'm not going to work with people I don't know or trust." 

"Buffy, I would please ask you to reconsider, for my benefit as well as yours."

Buffy looks at Giles. The look on his face tells her he is quite serious. She feels a bond with the watcher. She knows there are certain parts of the slaying thing she doesn't understand. She always knew there were others involved. Others who run the whole thing. The people who tell Giles what to do. 

She decides to go along for Giles's sake. 

"I hope you know what you're doing mister watcher." 

"Thank you, Buffy." 

"So, you think I'm going to have to patrol with this Riley?" 

"Yes, for one. And, you're going to have to do what Wesley tells you." 

"Am I going to like it?" 

"No, and I'm afraid your boyfriend is going to like it even less." 

"Well, I think he might go along with it as long as I tell him it's for you." 

Buffy doesn't see Xander before Riley and her do their first patrol together. The slayer was very apprehensive but he is actually a pretty nice guy and, a very hellacious daemon fighter. Buffy is very surprised with the fact she had very few complaints with her new partner. 

Wesley, of course, wants to disband the Scooby gang. Giles and he arrive at a compromise. They can do research and run errands but the slaying is for Buffy and Riley only. Giles feels a headache coming on as the gang attends their first meeting with Wesley and Riley present. 

Buffy goes to Xander's house so they can walk to the meeting together. She is very apprehensive. She knows he will not accept any of this. Xander notices Buffy is very nervous. 

"Are you okay, my sweet?" 

"Xander…two people from the watcher's council are in Sunnydale." 

"So?" 

"Giles…ask me if I would …you know…do things a little different while they're here." 

"Okay, that's cool." 

The slayer is very nervous. "Some…some of the things…kind of…" 

"Buffy, it's okay. I know you guys have to pay dues to the watcher's council. They pay Giles, right?" 

"You're okay with it?" 

"Well, I mean how bad can it be?" 

The slayer can't stand it. She has to come right out and say it. "I have to patrol with this guy, Riley. They won't let me patrol with you." 

"And, you agreed to that?" 

"Xander, I didn't agree with it. It's just something we have to go along with until they leave. It's mostly for Giles." 

"Who is this guy?" 

"He's from the watcher's council." 

"I don't know what to say, Buffy. Why would you trust people you don't even know?" 

"It's only for a little while. Listen, Xander. Please, honey; don't attack anybody at the meeting. You're not going to like these guys but we have to cooperate with them just while they're here. Then we'll go back to normal." 

Xander runs his hand through his hair. "More shit." He looks at Buffy. "Alright, Buff, if that's what you and Giles want." 

"Thank you, sweetie. I'll make it up to you, I promise." 

"Now that's something I can look forward to." 

They go to the meeting. 

When Xander walks into the library he immediately gets bad vibes from Riley. From Wesley he simply gets idiot vibes. 

This is not going to be good. Xander also notices the way Riley looks at Buffy. This whole affair is going to be much tougher than Xander first thought. For some reason he feels the need to be very close to Buffy. It's as if there is something in the room pulling her away from him. She feels it, too, since; she is all but clinging to him. 

Giles introduces Wesley who then takes over the meeting. He is extremely arrogant and pretentious. 

"Yes, on behalf of the watcher's council I thank you all for showing such an interest in our affairs and that of our slayer. However, we are no longer in need of your services. Buffy and Riley will be more than capable of handling all the affairs of Sunnydale from now on." 

Willow comments. "You don't know Hellmouth very well, do you?" 

Wesley leers at the red head. "Excuse me?" 

"The other worldly activities around here keeps us all busy." 

"Well, that is why Riley has been sent here. You will find he is capable of quite a bit. Under his tutelage Buffy will be producing at maximum level very shortly." 

Xander can't take it. He has to comment. "Buffy produces at maximum level at all times." 

Wesley approaches the boy. "And, you are?" 

"I'm Xander and I was born to help the slayer. She is the best ever. There are people here who have been around for a long, long time. They can tell you." 

Buffy looks at Wesley with a "take that" look on her face! 

"Mr. Harris, that is your correct name?" Xander nods. 

"The watcher's council is an institution with rules, regulations and traditions. We have also been in existence for a long, long time. We are here to make sure those honored codes are followed and enforced. Your presence in the life of the slayer, however important you may feel yourself to be, is most unacceptable. Mr. Finn will fill in until such a time as we feel Ms. Summers is capable of functioning on her own, as per normal slayer conduct." 

Xander has had enough. He takes Buffy's hand. He starts to walk to the office. Wesley blocks his way. Xander looks at Giles as if begging for him to intercede. The watcher stands. 

"Xander, I told you things have to change. Now, whatever it is you have to say to Buffy say it in ten minutes." Giles ushers them into his office. Then he turns back to Wesley. 

"Just give them ten minutes." 

Xander talks to Buffy in the office. "Buffy, what the hell is this?" 

"Xander, please calm down." 

"This isn't like you, Buffy, to take this kind of shit. This whole thing stinks and you know it." 

"Xander, I knew you wouldn't like them, okay. We just have to put up with it for a short time." She reaches to him, fondling his face. 

"Please, sweetie?" 

Xander is really torn. In his gut he knows this isn't right but he wants to respect the wishes of both Buffy and Giles. 

"Okay, honey, but, just be careful, please?" 

"I will, Xander." They embrace warmly. 

Buffy patrols with Riley the next couple of nights. She has not even gone to Xander's house since the arrival of Wesley and Riley. The slayer and her new partner are getting very friendly. Xander goes to the library. Riley is showing Buffy a new karate move. They are looking at each other a little too intently for Xander's liking. 

Buffy doesn't even notice Xander's arrival. He moves in between them. He talks to Riley. 

"Show her the move but keep the flirting to yourself!" 

"I'd mind my own business if I were you, little boy." 

"Try touching her like that again, asshole!" 

Buffy pushes Xander away. "Xander, he was just showing me a new move." 

"No he wasn't. He was all over you!" 

"Xander, what are you doing?" 

"I was going to ask you the same thing, Buffy." 

"I'm just with Riley. We're training. We patrol together. We…" 

She doesn't finish. She stares at Xander as if she doesn't know what she was saying. 

"What were you about to say, Buffy?" 

"I…I don't know, Xander. I have to get back to training." 

Xander goes back to Riley. "Maybe you can fool Buffy and Giles, pal, but you're not fooling me. Something is going on. I'll tell you right now. You might be buster bad ass but, if anything happens to Buffy you're going down, man!" 

He storms out. Buffy stares at him as he walks away. Part of her is screaming for him to come back. Riley goes to her. He puts his hand on her shoulder. In a few seconds Buffy turns to look at him. She smiles. "What were we doing?" 

"I was about to show you a really dynamite move to use on the next vamp who dares get in our way." 

"We really do kick some ass, don't we?" 

"And, we do it in style." 

* * *

Almost a week goes by before Xander decides he has had enough. He has only seen Buffy a few times and she is very cold and distant. He has to talk to her. He waits for her outside her house. As she climbs out her window Xander gets very sad. The slayer has her fighting togs on, the ones that turn Xander on so much. 

When Buffy sees him her heart does a flip. It startles her. She stops. Xander goes to her. 

"What's the matter, Buffy?" 

She snaps out of it. "Nothing, Xander." She begins to walk away but he stops her. 

"Buffy, this is me. We're sweethearts, honeys. Don't you remember?" 

"Xander, I know you and I were involved." 

"Involved, we are more than involved, Buffy! We're soul mates! What the hell is going on?" 

"Xander…I…I don't know. Riley…we…" 

Xander interrupts her. "Honey, something is wrong. You have to know something is wrong. You and I are together, forever. They must have you in some kind of a spell or something. Buffy, just feel with your heart." 

The slayer starts to cry. Riley comes down the street. He looks at Buffy, then at Xander. 

"Did you make her cry?" 

Xander is really shook. He makes a move toward Riley but is swiftly slammed to the ground. Riley then hugs Buffy. She looks like she is in shock but a few minutes in Riley's arms calms her. They walk down the street hand in hand. 

Xander can't help it. He breaks down. He has to talk to somebody about this. He goes over to Willow's house. She is out with Oz. He hasn't felt this bad since his parents were murdered. 

He wanders to the park. He sits down on one of the benches. He cannot be without Buffy. He thinks she must be under a spell or something but what if she isn't? What if she just fell for this Riley? Shit, it's possible. The guy's definitely cool. He's a hell of a daemon fighter, too. Most of the time he knows he doesn't belong with Buffy Summers, anyway. She is way out of his league. She always was. For awhile he was like the blind dog who stumbled into a bag of gourmet dog food. But, the gig might be up! 

The boy wonder doesn't even attempt to stop his tears. He just lets them flow like a river. Maybe they can wash the sadness from his heart. 

Somebody approaches him. It is Monica. "Xander, are you okay?" 

He looks up at her. "What are you doing out at night, Monica, it's dangerous." 

"I'm fine but what is the matter with you?" 

"Buffy dumped me for that new guy, Riley Finn." 

"I find that hard to believe, Xander." 

"Well, she's with him." 

Monica sits down. "I'm really sorry, Xander." 

"It really hurts, Monica. I don't even know what to do without her." 

Monica takes Xander in her arms. He cries to break his heart. She feels for him so much. 

"Xander, you can't sit here. You were telling me how dangerous it is. With all the things hunting you…" 

She smiles at him, taking his hand. "Walk me to the store then I'll make you some tea." 

Xander doesn't argue. 

Monica takes Xander back to her house. He tells her the entire story. 

"Xander, it sounds very dangerous. Maybe Buffy and Giles are in trouble. Isn't there a way we can find out?" 

"We can talk to Giles then, maybe hit the underground." 

Xander starts to well up again. Monica comforts him. He stares at her. They get lost in each other's eyes. They both feel that strong connection they felt when they first met. 

Monica has stayed away from Xander because she wanted to try to stop the overwhelming attraction she felt for him. It was working but it didn't put an end to it. Right now she can barely breathe. It is so intense. She can tell he feels it too. They get close enough that their lips touch lightly. Xander catches himself. 

"What am I doing?" 

Monica stands up. "I'm so sorry, Xander. I didn't mean…" 

She doesn't finish. Xander has to close his eyes. He sits back on the sofa. Monica doesn't know what to do. The attraction is so intense! 

She is not going to take advantage of Xander, however. If he weren't so hurt this incident would never have happened. She kneels down in front of him. 

"Xander, I'm sorry. I will help. Whatever you want me to do." 

He opens his eyes. "Thank you, Monica. I'm sorry, too. I'm just really feeling bad." 

"I know, Xander, and I'm here for you." After another uncomfortable stare, "What's the plan, Boy Wonder?" 

"We'll go see Giles then check out any leads. If worse comes to worse we may have to visit a few underground sources." 

"You're not going to get me killed, are you Xander?"

* * *

Part There's Some Things You Can't Touch! 

* * *

Monica and Xander head off to visit Giles. They decide to sneak into his house just in case he is being watched. They brake in through his back door. Rebecca is with him. When they show up in his living room they are almost assaulted by the watcher. 

"Damn it, Xander, how the hell did you get in here?" 

"I'm sorry, Giles. I picked up a few tricks in the underground." 

"So, if you decide to give up the daemon fighting business you can always be a burglar!" 

"I'm sorry, I really am but, I had to see you. Something is not right with this whole thing." 

"Xander, I know about Buffy and Riley but I'm afraid both he and Wesley are legitimate." 

"Giles, I'm telling you this Riley guy is not kosher." 

"I checked and double checked both of them, Xander." 

Rebecca speaks. "I feel the same way you do, Xander, but I'm afraid we can't find anything. From what Rupert tells me of this watcher's council it's a wonder they put up with us this long." 

"Look, I think Wesley is legitimate. He's an idiot but I think he is just doing his job. Riley is different. There is something going on with him. Who does he work for, Giles?" 

The watcher thinks on this for a minute. "I believe he is a creation of two of the council members, a Mister Howard and another gentleman whose name escapes me at the moment." 

"Could you get me his name and, an address for both of them. And, could you also get Oz to meet me at our normal rendezvous place?" 

"I can do that, Xander, but I must warn you. This is a different sort of evil than you are use to dealing with." 

"Evil is evil, G-man." 

"I'm afraid some evil is much more insidious than you might imagine. I hope you don't learn this the hard way. Please be careful." 

Giles gets the information for Xander. Their names are Mr. Howard and Mr. Thomas. Surprisingly, both are in the states at present. Xander, Monica and Oz set out to pay them a visit.

* * *

Buffy is in her bedroom lying on her bed. She is miserable. She gets up to look at herself in the mirror. 

Her mind is clouded. She struggles to put together a coherent thought. The past two weeks have been like a blur to her. Everything runs together except…Riley. 

What about my friends. What about…Xander! Oh, my God, Xander! What the hell am I doing to Xander? Something must be wrong with me! 

She tries to shake the cobwebs from her brain. Whatever they were trying to do to her, it's officially over! 

"Xander, what have I done to you?" 

She runs from her house with one purpose in mind. She screams in frustration. 

"Wherever you are, Riley, you better start running now, you bastard!" 

Riley Finn has a big problem. He was told by Mr. Howard to eliminate Buffy. He has killed before. That doesn't present a problem. The problem is he has fallen in love with the slayer. He can't kill her. 

This is not supposed to happen to him. He is only partially human. The majority of his make-up consists of various synthetic characteristics. His human component is normally dominated by his so-called created features. Riley Finn is little more than a machine. In this case, however, that small human component has interfered with the performance of his duty. He has grown to love the slayer even while tricking and duping her with artificial chemicals. 

Xander and company arrive outside the address Giles gave them. It is a small apartment. They have no idea what to expect. All have cross bows and stakes. Xander talks to Monica. 

"Monica, you can tell if these guys are telling the truth, right?" 

"I should be able to. Xander, are we just going to break into their house?" 

"They're from England. I don't think they really live here." 

"What difference does it make Xander?" 

Xander can see that Monica is real nervous. He puts his arm around her. "Monica, it'll be okay." 

"What are these guys, like monsters or something?" 

"I don't know if they're daemons or not." 

Oz asks the obvious question. "Xander, what if they're just members of the watchers council?" 

"I don't know Oz. I'm going on my gut instinct. I don't think Wesley has anything to do with it. I think it's these guys." 

Monica is still apprehensive. "I hope you're right, Xander. I'm sure they are very powerful men. If we're wrong we could be in a whole lot of trouble." 

"Well, you guys can use fake names if you want." 

Monica laughs. "Lets just do it, funny man!" 

They break into the small apartment. Both gentlemen are in the kitchen drinking tea. Monica and Oz stand back while Xander does his impersonation of a bad ass. He's getting good at it. 

Xander walks right to Howard. He points the stake at his heart. "You have one chance to keep me from staking your rat ass!" 

Mr. Howard exhibits no fear whatsoever. It is quite shocking. 

"Let me guess. You must be the infamous Boy Wonder? We're not daemons, Mr. Harris." 

"Well, then you'll just fucking bleed to death from the hole in your chest! The question is; what's going on in Sunnydale?" 

"Something way beyond your range of affairs, I'm afraid." 

"You don't seem to understand how close you are to buying it, here, asshole!" 

"You won't kill us, Mr. Harris." 

"I won't?" 

"No, you're not a killer. For all your heroic and marvelous deeds, you're not a killer. You're a daemon fighter. You're one of those goody, goody two shoes who fights for good against evil." 

Xander is suddenly struck with a fear he has never experienced before. He can sense they're human. Mr. Howard is right. He can't kill these guys. They don't kill humans. Even though he can feel as much evil from these two as in any daemon he has ever faced he can't do anything to them. 

"You smug son of a bitch! Maybe I can't kill you but I sure as hell can kill your boy." 

"Be my guest but, I'm afraid your slayer may already be history." 

Xander gets real close to Howard. He grabs him by the collar. "If Buffy is hurt I wouldn't bet on me not offing your ass, fucker. Some things can push anybody over the edge." 

To put it mildly, Mr. Howard may have just experienced as much fear as he has ever felt. A trip to the bathroom for a quick change may not be totally out of the question. 

Xander hurries from the apartment. They make double time driving back to Sunnydale

* * *

Buffy practically runs to the library. She sees Wesley first. She jumps him, pinning him to the floor. "What the hell is going on, Wesley? Speak or I swear I'll re-arrange your face." 

Wesley honestly doesn't know what she is talking about. Giles sees that. 

"Buffy, he's not involved." 

The slayer gets off him. "Where's Riley?" 

Giles motions to the office. Buffy is in there in a hurry. She punches him in the mouth. It knocks him to the floor. She holds her foot to his throat. 

"You made one mistake, asshole. You tried to mess around with my love for Xander. What we have is stronger than anything you have!" 

Riley makes no attempt to retaliate. He just lies there. Buffy questions him. 

"What's the story, Riley?" 

"The story is I was suppose to kill you but I can't." 

"Yea, no shit, I might have something to say about that!" 

Just then Xander and company come flying in to the library. They run to the office. 

When Buffy sees Xander she throws herself into his arms. 

"Xander, I am so sorry." 

When he looks into her face he knows she is back. 

"Buffy, Riley was sent to kill you!" 

"I know, honey." 

They both look down at Riley who is still lying on the floor. Buffy questions him. 

"Who are you, Riley?" 

"That's not important. What's important is I was employed by…" 

Xander interrupts him. "By Howard, right?" 

"Yes, I was suppose to befriend the slayer then eliminate her but…I couldn't." 

"Why not?" 

"Because the human part of me fell in love with her." 

Xander shakes his head. He thinks of Howard and the evil he represents. As pissed off as Xander is at Riley he can actually have compassion for him. Buffy can't stand to hear anymore. She has to walk away. 

Xander helps him up. 

"What will Howard do to you?" 

"I don't know. I always completed my assignment, before." 

"Let me take a guess for you. He's not going to be happy. When a guy like him is unhappy with somebody I don't think it's too smart to stay around and find out. I have some friends who might be able to hide you for awhile until you figure out what to do." 

Riley stares at Xander. 

"I'll call them." 

Xander makes a few phone calls. He directs Riley to a rendezvous place. Before he leaves he looks at Buffy. She feels his stare but can't return it. The whole thing was just too painful for her. He leaves. 

The gang has a meeting. Wesley sits very quietly. Giles speaks. 

"I reported this to the other members of the council. I have no idea how they will proceed on it." 

Xander offers an opinion. 

"The whole thing will probably be swept under the rug." 

Giles questions his opinion. 

"And, why do you say that, Xander." 

He looks to Monica and Oz for verification on this. "This Mr. Howard has no fear of anything. It was eerie. He was beyond good and bad. He was evil in a way I have never felt before. An evil that has no boundaries. It masks itself in good. We can't touch him." 

Xander looks at Buffy. They instinctively embrace. It was a very trying and terrifying experience. One that can only be silenced by hours of intense love and attention to one another. 

A tough task, indeed, but one which must be done. They retreat to Xander's house.

* * *

Somewhere close to Los Angeles an impeccably clean and waxed stretch limousine stops on a deserted road. Mr. Howard approaches it. He enters the back seat. He sits across from a very shadowy man who exudes authority and power. The man speaks. 

"He failed?" 

"Yes, he also seems to have disappeared." 

"We'll find him." 

"What about the slayer?" 

"For now, nothing. There will be another time." 

"The boy will be a problem." 

"He will be studied, good evening, Mr. Howard." 

Mr. Howard gets out. The limousine drives away. Mr. Howard watches it disappear before returning to his vehicle. 

* * *

After Buffy and Xander speak to the fact that they have been prevented from enjoying one other they have a conversation. 

Xander is staring into space. 

"What's the matter, Xander?" 

"I'm really scared, Buffy." 

"Why, Xander, it's over." 

"They're not going to do anything to that guy, Howard. He'll be back." 

Buffy sits up on the bed. She looks at Xander intently. 

"Xander, you said he wasn't afraid of anything. You were wrong. Oz and Monica told me that he was petrified after he said that Riley had probably killed me, already. Whatever you did or said to him he knew you meant it." 

Xander gets up. He puts his shirt and pants on. He walks to the other side of the room. 

"Buffy, I'm nothing to this guy. Either are you. They're playing in a different league." 

Xander starts to cry. Buffy goes to him. There are some things about Xander that completely blow her mind. He can't stand the idea that there is something out there he may not be able to stop. That there is some danger to her that he may not be able see coming. 

At times like these she can only thank God for such a person in her life. He is remarkable. The depth of his love for her is staggering. His commitment to her is something unique. It is like magic to her. She knows that wherever she is or whatever she is doing so goes his love for her. 

She joins him in crying. 

"Xander, its Friday night. My mother is out of town until Monday. We have no commitments for the next two days. What do you say we dry our tears and have a marathon?" 

Xander sniffs back his tears. "A marathon?" 

The slayer looks at him very seductively. "You know, me and you…You know." 

Now it's time for Xander to have his mind blown. He looks at her wide-eyed. Buffy approaches him and begins to unbutton his shirt. 

"Do you find that a little intimidating? Is your rep all hype?" 

"You never cease to amaze me, Buffy Anne Summers!" 

"Are we going to talk all weekend?" 

They do very little talking. It's a good thing there were no monsters about during this time.

* * *

Go on to Part Fifteen 

* * *

  
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	19. Chapter 15

* * *

Part Fifteen: She Was Only a Little Bit Bad 

* * *

Even when there are no super vampires or machine men or evil Watcher's Council people to contend with, our heroes still have the daily task of vampire population control. This is no small task in itself. A night off is rare especially with that whole army of vampires who surfaced awhile back. They have to feed. The Scooby gang has to stop them. 

Despite all the help, Buffy is still the slayer. It is all on her young shoulders. Watching her function at top peak performance most of the time you would never guess she is a young woman barely able to keep her head above water. 

Of course she has Xander. Xander is the light that shines in her window every morning and the gentle breeze that puts her to sleep each evening. But, there is one thing about her Xander. Deep within him burns the fire of good and evil, right and wrong. 

He knows and follows the script. He has it memorized, backward and forward. It's her script. He is relentless, single-minded. He never wavers, never tires. He is there. Even when he is beaten and battered. When she looks at his body she shudders. He has bruises and scares and welts all over him. He might be special and have that quick healing thing but she knows he feels the pain. He feels the pain of every punch and kick. He hides it from her but she knows. 

She is afraid, plain and simple. It is not unreasonable for her to feel insecure. Xander will be there for her no matter what comes after her. He sees it before she does. He feels it before she does. Nobody understands why this does not bring her joy and comfort. 

Buffy knows Xander and Giles talk about her. They talk about protecting her and saving her and getting the heat off her. They both agree. Xander is suppose to catch the knife or the bullet or the axe before it gets to her, even if this means catching it with his body. 

This causes a tension between them. They can never relax. He's always looking for the next danger and she is always afraid he's going to get killed. 

She is not going to live like this. Bullshit! 

If mister protector and his middle aged librarian friend want to follow me around and try to keep up with me, so be it. See if they can! 

Buffy stands in front of the mirror making some last minute alterations to her "new look". To the unbiased observer the slayer now easily fits Willow's definition of a Skanky ho! Her friends will be shocked to say the least. We will not even go into how Xander will react. 

When she walks into the Bronze the crowd parts before her. No head remains unturned. She is the center of attraction. 

The newly created blond bombshell saunters up to the bar, ordering a very stiff drink. The bartender is too mystified to object. He pours her order without taking his eyes off of her for a second. 

She initially takes a sizable gulp of her heavily alcoholic beverage but then decides to nurse the rest more carefully as she feels the liquid burn it's way through her uninitiated body. 

Looking as she does our resident slayer is not alone for long. Some of the tougher elements of the neighborhood make their way toward the "new meat". One such character starts a conversation with her. 

"You can't possibly be from around here. No way you could have been here before without me noticing you." 

The slayer replies. "Let's just say I was in hiding. Do you want to dance?" 

"Well…sure." 

They both slide their way to the dance floor. Buffy's new friend talks to the d-jay. A few seconds later they are dancing to a pulsating rhythm. Buffy is moving with troubled abandon. 

The first of the Scooby gang to arrive at the Bronze are Willow and Oz. They park at their favorite table. Their attention is immediately drawn to the new girl who is burning up the dance floor with a combination of flagrant flirting and blatant exhibitionism. It is quite an impressive display of sensuality. Willow would call it something else. 

"Who is that?" 

"I don't know. I can't see her." 

"You mean you can't see her face. You can sure see the rest of her." 

"I guess she isn't exactly hiding anything." 

Willow starts to look at something else but Oz keeps eyeing the blonde. There is something familiar about her. The wolf gets up to get a closer look. When he comes back to the table he has a shocked look on his face. 

Willow is not use to seeing her true love as flustered. He is usually cool to the max. 

"Oz, are you okay?" 

He doesn't know if he should tell his favorite redhead. He begins to think of Xander. He is supposed to meet them later. He says a quick prayer that the Boy Wonder decides to skip it. 

Willow is still looking at him. He decides to break it to her. He grabs her by the hand, bringing her closer to Buffy on the dance floor. 

"Look around, Willow. Tell me what you see?" 

When Willow sees who the blonde bombshell is her mouth falls open. Oz has to lead her back to the table. 

"Oh, my God, Oz, it's Buffy! What the hell is she doing?" 

"Well, I would say she is letting it all hang out." 

"What did Xander do to her?" 

Oz is puzzled. "Honey, I don't see Xander around anywhere. In fact I'm hoping he continues to be missing." 

"Oz, he must have done something stupid for her to do this." 

"I'm sorry, Will, but if you're saying something heavy here I'm missing it. She seems to be doing what she is doing all on her own." 

"I didn't think you'd get it. We have to go to her." 

Willow gets up. She goes up to the slayer. When the music stops for a second Willow grabs her hand. She looks at Buffy's dancing partner. 

"Excuse us!" She brings Buffy over to the table. 

"What are you doing, Buffy?" 

It is evident Buffy has had a drink or two. "I'm…dancing. And…I'm having fun. Come on Willow. We can burn up this town." She looks at Oz. 

"What's the matter, Oz? Get that look off your face. Don't tell me you and the great Boy Wonder didn't ever let it all hang out. All those trips to the underground. Hell, Linda and Stacy and all those other bimbos. Tell us all about it, stud!" 

"Xander is coming here tonight. Do you really want him to see you like this?" 

This was the wrong thing to say to her. She answers with as much sarcasm as she can muster. 

"Oh, no! You mean the great Xander Harris is coming here? Oh, my God what will he say if he sees me like this?" 

She goes face to face with Oz. "I'm sure you're going to run right to him to tell him what kind of a bitch I am. Well, tell him for me. I've had enough of his shit. Let him find somebody else to die for. Let him and the great watcher find another chosen one." 

For a brief second Buffy begins to break down but she sniffs it back. She goes back to her dance partner. She shakes her considerable booty to the beat of the music. Oz and Willow look at each other. 

"Oz, is Xander really suppose to come here, tonight?" 

"That's what he said." 

As if on cue, Xander comes through the doors looking for his buds or his sweetheart. He spots Willow and Oz. He comes to them. They are both understandably very nervous. 

"Hello friends. Have either of you seen our favorite vampire slayer?" 

Willow gets up. She stands between Xander and the dance floor. She tries to walk him to towards the door. "Ah…Xander, I think I saw her in the park. Maybe you should look there." 

Xander pulls himself away from Willow's grasp. "No, Wills, I think I'll wait for her here." 

Buffy is really letting it all hang out with her dance partner. He is practically pawing her. 

Xander goes back to the table. He looks at Oz. "What's up with Willow?" 

Oz doesn't say anything. Xander looks around. He spots Buffy dancing but doesn't recognize her at first. 

"Look at that blonde girl. She looks like an X-rated version of Buffy." 

Xander looks at Willow and Oz for a response. From the look on their faces he can tell something is up. He takes another look at the dancers. His mouth drops. 

"That's not…" He stands up to get a clearer view. He looks back to his friends. 

"Don't tell me that's…" 

He can't finish. He peers at Willow. "What's going on, Willow?" 

"Xander, I have no idea. But, I wouldn't…" 

Before she can finish her sentence Xander is up and on his way to confront his forever love. 

Oz looks at Willow. 

"This is not going to be pretty." Oz gets up to follow him. 

"Where are you going, Oz?" 

"To take his back in case he needs it." 

Xander approaches Buffy. He stands beside her. When she notices him she steps up her torrid dancing pace. Her dancing partner, a real bad ass by the name of Ron Stephenson, knows Xander. 

"What the hell do you want, Harris. Can't you see I'm dancing with this chick?" 

Xander ignores him. "Buffy, could I talk to you?" 

She ignores him. The bad ass doesn't. "Ah, Harris, do you have a death wish or something?" 

"Buffy, I need to talk to you." 

The slayer looks at him. "What's the matter, the great Boy Wonder doesn't like what he sees?" 

Ron Stephenson is losing his patience. He goes toe to toe with Xander. 

"Listen, punk, leave, right now!" 

"Ron, this doesn't have anything to do with you, man. This is between her and me. 

"Maybe you haven't noticed but she happens to be with me. Besides, your punk ass wouldn't even know what to do with a girl like this." Ron looks at Buffy. 

"What do you think? Should I kill him?" 

Buffy grabs Ron's hand. "No, I think you and I should get out of here. Do you know any places where there's some adult fun? I'm tired of all this kid stuff." 

Buffy and Ron start to walk out the door. Xander is steaming. He runs to them. 

"Buffy, what the hell is going on?" 

The slayer can't contain her anger. "You can't handle this? I thought you were my great protector. Why don't you get Giles." 

"Buffy, have you been drinking?" 

"This is the new me, Xander. You think you can keep up with me?" 

"I don't understand, Buffy." 

"Wow, that's a real revelation." 

He tries to warm up to her. "Honey, is this about us getting married?" 

"Oh, now you've gone and done it. You said the dirty word. You better watch it. You'll get kicked out of the players club." 

Ron grabs Buffy's arm. "Are you going with me or not, sweetheart?" 

While this is going on Willow and Oz have suddenly discovered the presence of some of our least favorite creatures of the night. Spike and Drusilla are in the house. Oz turns to Willow. 

"I wonder what they want?" 

"I don't know, Oz, but it can't be good. You go find out. I'll tell Buffy and Xander!" 

Xander and Ron are toe to toe. Buffy went a little too far with her rebellion thing but she is still not going to admit that to Xander. Willow runs up to her. 

"Unwanted guests in the house, Buf…or should I call you, Ms. Ho?" 

"Very funny, Will. What's up?" 

She points to Oz, who is now with Spike and Dru. Buffy tries to shake away the dizziness from the drinks she guzzled. Willow points to Xander who is trying to talk Ron out of killing him. 

"What about your killer date?" 

She looks at Xander. "This whole thing is his fault. Let him deal with it." Buffy and Willow leave to check out Spike. Xander sees Buffy leaving. 

"Hey, get back here!" He tries to follow but Ron has other ideas. He grabs Xander roughly. 

"You lost me my date Harris. Say your prayers." 

Xander has to think of something quick. 

"Ron…ah…I was…I was just trying to save you. Don't you know who she is?" 

In the meantime Buffy approaches the blonde vampire and his Queen. When he sees Buffy's new look he starts laughing. 

"Had enough of the goody, goody two shoes life, slayer? Thought you'd try to see how the street walkers fare?" 

"That's not funny at all, Spike." 

"If you're looking for a little rough action, see me later. We can always use a third." 

"What are you doing here, Spike?" 

"I'm just taking in the view." 

Oz begins to think out loud. "If Spike comes in here. He knows he'll attract our attention." 

Buffy finishes it. "So his friends can wreck havoc somewhere else in peace." 

Oz can't resist getting a dig in on the slayer. "That's pretty good analysis in your condition." 

"Oz, just keep an eye on these two." 

Buffy runs toward the outside. She stops momentarily in front of Xander. 

"Ah, when you're finished playing around there we have work to do." She runs outside. 

Xander looks at her incredulously. "Hey, that's funny, slayer, real funny!" He turns back to Ron. 

"Okay, Ron, if you're going to kill me let's do it outside." 

By this time Ron has called two of his friends to help him pulverize our Boy Wonder. Most of them know Xander as the punk they use to rob and beat up all the time. They lick their chops as they prepare for the slaughter. 

Xander breaks away, getting outside as quickly as possible. The behemoths follow. He catches up to Buffy. They come upon a group of vampires about to have easy pickings with a trio of scared schoolgirls. 

As they walk to them Xander looks at Buffy. "You know, you look just like some girl I know. Except, of course, she doesn't solicit tricks in her spare time." 

Buffy doesn't comment as she gets in between the vamps and their intended victims. The slayer speaks. 

"Well now, what the hell do you think you guys are about to do?" 

One vamp attempts to swing. The slayer bends his arm behind him and heaves him into the fence. Xander suckers one to the ground. The other two kind of back away from our duo. One of them looks at Buffy. 

"You're not…the slayer, are you?" 

"In the flesh." 

Xander comments. "She's kind of hard to recognize right now. She's under cover as a drunken bimbo." 

Buffy has to laugh. The vamps look at Xander. "If she's the slayer that means you're the boy wonder?" 

"Bingo!" 

Ron and his motley crew spot Xander. They come up to him menacingly. Buffy decides to intervene. She gets in front of them 

"Look, Ron, I'm sorry I led you on. I didn't know what I was doing." 

"Okay, but I'm still going to kill Harris." 

"Ron, you see those two things over there cowering in the corner? They're vampires. They would eat you and your whole gang without breaking a sweat. They're both afraid of Xander. I don't think you want to be messing with him." 

Ron starts to laugh. "Lady, that's Harris. We grew up beating him up. My little sister could take him." 

Another group of vampires arrives on the scene. None other than Mister Harris leads them. He approaches Xander. 

"Are these children bothering you son? We could take them off your hands." 

One of Ron's crew goes to Mr. Harris. "What are you, a clown?" 

Xander's former stepfather smacks him with the back of his hand. The kid goes flying into the fence. Ron and the rest have their mouths open. The biggest one looks at Ron. 

"These people are freaks. Let's get the hell out of here." 

They collect their wounded friend and go back to the bronze. Mr. Harris looks at Xander. 

"Don't say I never did anything for you, son." 

"Gee, thanks. Okay, what the hell do you want?" 

"I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you that I am now the official leader of the clan." 

As he was saying this Spike and Dru come out to join him. Xander looks at Spike. 

"How the hell is he the leader, Spike? In your world he must still, like, be in diapers." 

Spike shrugs. "Beats me. I don't make the bloody rules." 

Xander talks to them as they are leaving. "I wouldn't take that shit, Spike. How come we didn't get to vote for the leader. I vote for Spike." 

Buffy walks to Xander. "Are you finished?" 

Xander looks at the slayer. He grabs her hand. "Let's go!" 

Buffy walks a few steps but then stops. "Where are we going?" 

"First, you're going to get changed. Then you and I are going to have a long talk." 

Despite the need for her to abandon her "rebellion" because of the vamp action, Buffy is still very upset with Xander. 

"We're not going to have the conversation you think we're going to have, Father." 

"I'm not your father." 

"No, you think you're a priest. You're going to try to give me a sermon but I'm not listening." She starts to walk away. Xander catches up to her. 

"I don't get it. I don't get the whole thing." 

"No kidding." 

"Look, slayer, will you just come out and tell me instead of going through all this shit." 

Buffy stops for a minute. She looks at him. "Do you love me, Xander?" 

"Of course I do." 

"And how long do you think your love will last?" 

Xander approaches her. He lovingly fondles her face. "I don't see me ever not loving you, Buffy. Do you love me?" 

"Xander, that is never the issue." 

"Then, what is the issue?" 

"My parents are not dumb, Xander. Even my father knows we're together. My mother knows I'm not sleeping over Willow's house all the time. They keep asking me questions. They want to know what's going on with us." 

"I want to know what's going on with us." 

Xander starts to pace up and down, nervously. Buffy notices. 

"Why do you always get like this when I try to bring this up?" 

"Buffy, we cannot under any circumstances get married!" 

"Why?" 

"Because we can't. It's out of the question!" 

"Are you afraid to make a commitment to me?" 

"We shouldn't even have to have this conversation." 

"I don't get it. Is this just some kind of a game we're playing together?" 

"What?" 

"You want me to come to your house and play nurse and mistress to you. But, any talk of us actually making what we have official. This scares the hell out of you." 

"That is ridiculous, Buffy, and you know it." 

She can see this is going nowhere. "Your hour is up. I have to go to my next trick." She starts to leave. He gets in front of her. 

"Will you stop it!" 

"I'm not going to shack up with you, Xander. You say one thing but you must mean another. Are you still trying to decide? Am I at least in the final four?" 

"I don't believe this. You're actually questioning my love for you, the one thing nobody in the whole world doubts?" 

"You're just like Rocky Road ice cream. I love it but, it won't marry me either." 

"For one last time, will you stop this? We are not normal people. There are certain things we cannot do. Can we, at least, discuss it rationally?" 

"We don't have discussions. You try to give me a sermon. I'm not a child, Xander." 

"Then, stop acting like one." 

Buffy is pissed off, now. She goes toe to toe with him. "I'm not going to let you get me tongue-tied." 

Xander lowers his voice. He gently grabs Buffy's shoulders. "You're the slayer. Everybody is after you. We're not going to officially move in together to make it easy for them to find us." 

Buffy is beside herself. She can hardly talk. "I…I knew that was it, I knew it!" 

She screams. "You…you…stupid, paranoid…" She can't finish. She starts to leave but goes back to him. 

"If I had something from you. If you ever thought of giving me a ring or a cross or a bracelet or something…I'd take it off and throw it at you!" 

She storms away again. Xander is frozen. She screams. 

"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to patrol alone." 

This gets Xander out of his stupor. He goes after her. 

"No, you're not!" 

"Oh, no? Just wait and see!" 

"I'll be over your house." 

"If you show up at my house I'll call the cops on you!" She disappears into the night. Xander doesn't know what hit him. 

* * *

Buffy totally ignores Xander the next day in school. 

Willow sees the slayer in the lunchroom. "Have you seen Xander, Buff?" 

"He's probably with one of his other mistresses." 

"What?" 

They go to a private place to discuss it. The slayer explains. "My parents want to know what Xander and I are going to do? So do I." 

"You mean, possibly getting married?" 

"If we love each other and want to be together, why not? I'm not going to be his mistress." 

"Buffy!" 

"What else do you call it? We practically live together, Willow. What do I say to my mother? Should we wait until I get pregnant?" 

"What does Xander say?" 

"He gets all nervous. He thinks it will make it easier for the daemons to get me." 

"Buffy, are you actually ready for marriage?" 

"Willow, because he lives by himself we're practically married as it is. I sleep there half the time now." 

"You do?" 

"I can't say no to him. I don't even want to say no to him. But, I'm not going to be his mistress." 

Xander decides to go to Buffy's house after school. When the slayer goes home he is sitting with her mother. Buffy is visibly upset. Joyce notices. 

"Are you okay, honey?" 

"Ask Xander!" She goes up to her room. 

Joyce looks at Xander. No way he is going to discuss this with Buffy's mother. 

"Is it okay if I go up and knock on her door?" 

Joyce waves him up. He knocks on Buffy's door. 

"Buffy, can I talk to you?" 

"Xander, this is my room. My private room. Go home. Call one of your groupies." 

"We can't even talk about it?" 

"Goodbye, Xander." 

Xander is really pissed-off, now. "Buffy, come out here, now!" 

"Stop yelling at me. My mother will hear you." She opens the door, storming past Xander. He follows her downstairs. 

"I can't believe we can't even talk about it." 

Buffy goes to her mother. "Mom, when I go upstairs to my room don't ever tell Xander he's allowed up there, again." 

"I'm sorry, honey." 

"Xander, follow me." She goes out to the front porch. 

"Okay, now we can…" 

Buffy abruptly goes back inside, slamming and locking the door. 

"Okay, slayer princess, that's it!" He takes off. Buffy opens the door, yelling after him. 

"Don't call me that." 

He turns back to her. "Keep it up, Buffy. I'm not going to follow you around like a puppy dog waiting for you to pet me." 

"I don't even like dogs anymore." 

"Real funny, you brat! It's time I went with somebody who's out of pigtails, anyway. It will be nice to spend some time with an adult for a change. Call me when you grow up!" 

"Don't try to get into my room, ever again!" 

"Don't worry, I won't!" 

"Good!" 

"Shut up!" 

"No, you shut up!" 

Xander picks up an old bird egg he sees lying on the ground. He throws it at her. It hits the door. 

"I don't believe you did that!" 

Xander leaves, mumbling to himself.

* * *

Go on to Part Sixteen 

* * *

  
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	20. Chapter 16-E

* * *

Part Sixteen: This Is My Heart, Buffy 

* * *

Xander and Buffy totally avoid each other in school, again. He is feeling the separation first. Two days without Buffy is too long for him. But, on the other hand, marriage is out. The evil residents of Hellmouth would lick their chops. Get the two of them in one shot. 

Xander would sooner split up then to give them that opportunity. He is not giving in to her. 

Buffy is so missing Xander. But, she is not going to give in, either. She meant it when she said she wasn't going to be his mistress. As great as it is between them she will still not put up with that. His reasons for not getting married are stupid "protect the slayer" reasons. Her life is uncertain enough. Deep down she knows Xander loves her more than his own life but she needs some kind of sign or symbol or something concrete she can treasure. It might be a small thing but it's important to her. 

The feud continues as they go to the after school meeting in the library. Giles has been putting up a paroling schedule since they have added new people. Buffy looks at it. 

"Sorry, Giles, you need to revive the schedule." 

The watcher furrows his brow. "I don't understand." 

"I can't patrol with Xander." 

"Why not?" 

"Because he's a danger to me. In fact he's a danger to all women everywhere." 

"Buffy, is this something the two of you should discuss in private?" 

"Patrolling is serious business. Xander only knows how to play games." 

Buffy leaves in a huff. Xander just shakes his head. Willow stares at him. He can feel the redhead's arrows. He addresses her. "One thing I can always count on. Whenever Buffy has a problem with me you are always there to stick the dagger in further. Okay, Willow, get it off your chest." 

"She is tired of being your mistress." 

"Jesus, is there anybody she hasn't discussed this with? Maybe we should sell tickets." 

"Her life is insecure enough without having an insecure relationship." 

"An insecure relationship? Every person in a five county area knows I love Buffy Anne Summers." 

"You're not getting it. You're stupid Xander, again. If you insist on getting half killed once a week, which you do, then every minute is precious to her. You wanted her to love you, Xander. Well, she does. With all her heart and soul." 

Xander listens to Willow very intently. What she said struck a bell. He has to do something. Something which will give Buffy the feeling that he belongs to her, even when he is not with her.

* * *

Xander goes to a costume shop. He finds an elaborate costume of a white knight. He then visits a friend of a friend. He bribes the person into letting him have use of a very steady and magnificent white horse. It's the biggest horse Xander has ever seen. The boy has some experience horseback riding. He hopes he can stay on the mammoth steed. 

After much practice he is able to master mounting and riding. He puts the horse in the trailer and starts out for the Summer's residence. 

Buffy is moping around the house, greatly missing the man of her dreams. Joyce is there. She tries to cheer up her daughter. 

"Buffy, do you still love Xander?" 

"That's not even the issue, mom." 

"What is the issue? Whatever it is it's sure causing you distress. I heard him ask you to talk about it. Does he know the reason you're upset?" 

"He knows. He's just…" She doesn't want to talk about it with her mother. 

"He's…they call him the Boy Wonder. If he's so great then let him come up with something. He knows what I want. Let's see what the great Xander Lavelle Harris can do." 

Joyce can see the subject is closed 

A few minutes later they both hear something strange on the front porch. They look at each other. 

"It sounds like an animal or something." Joyce looks out the window in the direction of the front porch. She can't believe her eyes. 

"What is it, mom?" 

"You're not going to believe this." Buffy looks. There appears to be a white horse on the porch. Sitting on top of the horse appears to be a white knight. 

Xander uses the jousting pole to knock on the front door. 

Buffy's heart starts beating faster. She doesn't know for sure but this certainly smells like Xander inspired craziness. The kind that melts her heart and curls her toes. Joyce is excited, too. They both slowly open the front door. 

It is indeed a white Knight atop a magnificent white steed. As a special effect Xander has the horse go up on its back legs. He almost has a heart attack but fortunately his discomfort is masked by the body armor he is wearing. 

Buffy and Joyce both have their mouths open. The knight bends the jousting pole in front of Buffy. There is a note on it. She takes it. 

"Greetings to the fair maiden and her equally fair mother. I, the White Knight of your heart, requests the honor of your presence at a gala affair being planned by the good King and Queen of Brigantine Castle. And, if it would please the fair maiden, could I humbly ask to accompany the princess on said adventure as her escort and protector? I patiently wait your reply." 

Buffy and Joyce go back into the house. Buffy clutches the note to her chest and sighs. It is so corny, so damn corny but…she can't help it. He knows how to get to her. He really does. Joyce looks at her. 

"Honey, I have never seen anybody like him before. I don't know what your argument is about but, if you don't go with him, I will!" 

"Mom!" 

"I'm only kidding but… honey? Anyway, hurry up and answer him before somebody calls the men in the white coats to take him away." 

Buffy goes back outside. She looks at the Knight. She gets in the spirit. 

"This princess trusts that sir knight will make it worth her time?" 

"By all means, my lady, I assure you. It will be most worthwhile." 

"Then the fair maiden accepts the invitation. She does hope that sir knight will be dressed in much more revealing attire than he is presently wearing?" 

"Oh, yes, my lady, he can even come in his birthday suit if you so desire it?" 

"That won't be necessary, sir knight. Just make sure it is suitable for the occasion?" 

"The occasion calls for most formal attire. My lady will find that if she visits the king's royal costume shop on Wilshire Boulevard she will find such attire waiting for her. The lady will also find the same attire for the mother of the house if she is so inclined to attend. She has but to fit to size." 

"The lady will gladly visit said establishment. Now, if you will be so kind as to pardon me, my good sir. The lady must prepare herself." 

"I'll pick you up at seven." 

Buffy goes back inside. Joyce stares at her. 

"Well?" 

"He's crazy. My soul mate is crazy." 

"But…?" 

"Unbelievable, he's too much!" 

"But, you love it." 

"There must be something wrong with me, mom. He is so corny. Everything he does like this is so stupid." 

"He really knows how to get to you, doesn't he?" 

"He knows every button to push and when to push them." 

"The point is he does it all for you. Your father is like that. Maybe not quite so dramatic but, he does the same kind of stuff." 

Joyce gets very pensive. It occurs to Buffy that her mother still loves her father. She never really saw it before. They never really talked about the break up. 

"Mom. Can I tell you something?" 

"Sure, honey." 

"Do you promise you won't go?" 

"What?" 

"Xander must have rented some kind of costume for me for tonight, where ever it is we're going. He also has one for you if you want to go." 

Joyce is really taken by surprise. She stares at Buffy. 

"It must be some kind of formal costume dance at some converted castle. He invited you if you want to go, which of course you don't." 

Joyce looks at her daughter as if she is thinking about it. Buffy is not amused. 

"Mom!" 

"I'm sorry, honey, I'll thank him when he picks you up. I can't wait to see what he shows up in." 

After picking up her costume and allowing her mother to fawn all over it and her, Buffy is ready. She looks at herself in the mirror. 

Her gown is magnificent. Her beauty would shine bright in any era. She laughs to herself, knowing that Xander is going to be blown away by the very sight of her. 

I hope you're ready, Boy Wonder! 

She descends her stairs awaiting the arrival of her White Knight. 

Before long they hear the clopping of hooves coming down the street. They open the door to see the arrival of an era appropriate, horse drawn carriage. It stops in front of the house. Both Joyce and Buffy have their mouth's open. The driver dismounts, opening the carriage door for Xander. 

The Boy Wonder sees their surprise. "You didn't think I'd show up in a cab, did you?" 

Xander is cool and calm until he gets close enough to really see his heart throb. 

He becomes frozen at the sight of her. He tries to say something but nothing will come out. 

Buffy giggles at him. 

"What's the matter, fair knight, you've never seen a lady dressed up before?" 

He mumbles something but it comes out in gibberish. Buffy goes to him, slipping her arm through his. Joyce calls to them. 

"Wait for the pictures." 

Buffy has to lead Xander from pose to pose for the camera. He is too blown away by the sight of his honey in her maidenly garb. It is quite comical. 

After Joyce has her fill of our two lovebirds they bid her adieu and proceed to the carriage. Buffy didn't allow herself to get carried away with Xander's appearance in front of her mother. But, now that they are alone she takes a big, long drink of it. Her life may be dark and dangerous but she does have some perks. The main one is sitting beside her. 

He is hers. He lives for her. He breathes for her. Although they have only been together for a short time, in some ways it seems like a whole lifetime. The slayer can barely remember her life before Xander. They have such an intense relationship it just seems to blow everything before it away. She does remember when she refused to see Xander in her heart even though he had moved in and taken over. She has to laugh. Here she is, the great vampire slayer, but she was too afraid to read her own heart. 

Xander wouldn't let her go. Now, she thanks God he didn't. She would be lost without Xander. She doesn't care how vulnerable that makes her. 

This night belongs to them and their dreams. What they could do for each other if only they didn't have to fight off the daemons all the time. Buffy could do all the things she knows Xander loves. It breaks her heart that she is unable to do the little things for him. The little things that would bring comfort to his awful life. 

Tonight, they are together, at least. The slayer has butterflies in her stomach. She knows Xander is going to address their "issue". She knows it will be something dramatic and exciting. 

When they arrive at their destination Buffy is duly impressed. It is an old converted castle highlighted by large, bright flood beams. The entire structure is framed in multi-colored string lights. The effect is quite brilliant. It is complete with moat and extended drawbridge. 

The King and Queen of the castle greet them inside. Xander hands them the printed invitation. The King hands it to the host who announces them. 

"The Princess, Buffy Anne Summers and her White Knight, Alexander Harris." 

Buffy can't help but laugh as they are escorted to their table. When they sit down she gets very pensive. 

"Xander…I don't even know what to say to you. You are way too much for me. I could never tell you how much you mean to me." 

She starts to tear up. Xander gently holds her hands across the table. 

"You're too much for me too, Buffy. I guess we just overwhelm each other. But, that's okay, right?" 

Buffy doesn't answer. She just looks at him dreamily. They stay that way for a few minutes. In the background a young kid sings a song from the movie version of Romeo and Juliet. 

What is a youth…impetuous fire.  
What is a maid…ice and desire.  
The world wags on. 

A rose will bloom, it then will die. 

So goes the youth, so goes the fairest maiden. 

Hopefully, this is not an omen of things to come for our heroes. It is certainly not an omen for this night. Unlike the tragic and star-crossed lovers of Shakespeare's play, our duo does not hide their love for one another. It is right out in the open for all to see. They wear it on the outside like a flashing banner. Anybody who looks at them can tell. 

Daemons and devils beware and be forewarned. Buffy and Xander are in love. It is beyond the evil of Hellmouth, beyond the base schemes and rotten plans of ghosts and goblins alike. 

The Slayer and the Boy Wonder share a smile of recognition. The odds were stacked against them but they are still here, and still in love. 

After dancing most of the night away Xander decides to bring out the main course. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. 

"Buffy, I know we are young but I'm not a kid anymore. One of the few really nice things my step mother did for me before…" 

He opens the box. It contains a gold ring in the shape of a heart. 

"She gave me this ring. She told me to only give it once. Only give it to somebody I know I will love forever. And, only someone who I know will love me forever." 

He reaches to Buffy's hands. "I want to give this to you, Buffy, but I don't want you to put it on right away. I love you Buffy. I'll never stop loving you. I commit myself to you and only you, forever. I want you to decide if you can do the same thing, honey." 

Buffy is really blown away by this. 

Xander continues. "I know it's a big deal…I…I don't mean to put pressure on you but…" 

Buffy interrupts him. She begins to fondle his face. 

"Xander, I'll do what you ask but, honey, you are it for me. My search is over. I could never in all my dreams find somebody I could love more than I love you, Xander. You are the best man I have ever met." 

They look at each other for a few minutes without talking. Buffy begins to laugh. 

"Xander, have you ever noticed that I don't even look at anybody else since we've been together." 

Xander closes his eyes. Buffy knows what he is doing. She leans over to kiss him. He opens his eyes. 

"It's not a dream, Xander. It's me, Buffy Summers, telling you I love you and only you. You have me, lover. You're stuck with me, in fact." 

"It's a miracle. One of those major, major miracles. No way a pug like me lands a beauty like you." 

"Xander, if you ever wake up my crazy, crazy boyfriend. I'm the one who should thank my lucky stars for you. All that I put you through." 

He gets up. He pulls her into a passionate kiss. 

"Honey, the fact that I can do that whenever I want to. The fact that you actually like it. The way you look at me. The way you tell everybody how everything Xander belongs to you. Whatever I went through is nothing compared to the rewards." 

He has to continue. "Every morning when I get up I thank God that I even know you. And then you love me, too? It's almost too much for a poor boy like me." 

"Xander, do you ever run out of nice things to say about me?" 

They spend some quiet time just looking at one another. 

The carriage leads them back to Buffy's house. She is surprised. If she read the night correctly they should be headed to Xander's house with bells on. She looks at Xander. 

"Honey, sweetie, tell me we made a wrong turn." 

"You have to go home and think about the ring. It's my heart, Buffy." 

She starts to kiss him all over. "Xander, this is cruel and unusual punishment. How about if I think about it while we're getting undressed?" 

Xander laughs. "No, Buffy, this was your idea that we needed to evaluate our relationship and it was a good idea." 

Sighing, "Me and my big mouth." 

The slayer gets out. She pouts all the way to her door. 

"I'll come over tomorrow morning." 

She goes in. Her mom is waiting up for her. 

"What was it like, honey?" 

"Pure Xander magic." She shows her mother the ring. 

"Wow, it looks like real gold." 

"It's his heart. He is only suppose to give it to someone he is sure he will love forever and, who will love him forever." 

Joyce is shocked. "Are you that serious with him?" 

"Mom, I can't even tell you how much I love Xander. He is everything I ever want or need. I don't even think of anybody else anymore." 

Joyce can tell her daughter is very serious. She has never seen her more serious about anything. 

"Honey, I'm so happy for you. He certainly has my vote. He's a very special young man." 

"Mom, you don't even know how special. I wish I could tell you." 

They enjoy a nice hug. 

Buffy decides to do what Xander asked her to do. She goes to sleep clutching the ring to her heart. 

Xander goes to sleep thinking of the night and how lucky he is to have such an unbelievable woman in his life. Of course he is also cursing himself for not allowing Buffy to come home with him. A cup of hot chocolate is a very poor substitute for the warmth and comfort of the blonde bombshell. He must ask her to put that act back together for him sometime!

* * *

Buffy wakes with a smile on her face. After she takes a shower she gets herself ready to face Xander. She looks at herself in the mirror. 

Am I ready to commit myself to Xander, forever? Yes, but can I actually be with him without hurting him? Do I really know how to love him the way he loves me? 

She is really afraid that she doesn't have what it takes to be Xander's soul mate. 

But, he gave me the ring. He wouldn't have given it to me if he didn't think I could do it. 

This is the clincher. 

She gets a chill down her spine as she slips it on her finger. 

A perfect fit! 

She runs down the steps to wait for her forever love.

* * *

Epilogue: And Then There Was Darkness 

* * *

Monica Gentry is a simple woman. This may sound ridiculous since she is right up there with Buffy and Xander et al as the best and brightest the Hellmouth has to offer. But, her simplicity lies in the fact that she always knew there was someplace that she belonged and something that she was suppose to be doing. 

Training with Rebecca and Giles these last few weeks have been the most fulfilling of her life. Despite the danger and pain of being a member of the Scooby gang, Monica feels at home. She belongs on the Hellmouth using her talents to fight evil. 

Monica also knew she was meant to love and be loved by someone special. Someone picked out for her by the forces that determine destiny. She hesitates to admit she has also found that person because he is in the arms and heart of someone else.

* * *

When a person dies his or her body is usually dispatched to the ground with the entreaty, "Requiescat In Pace". Their life has been lived and they now lay in peace as their spirit moves on to begin its next journey. No such luck in Sunnydale. Human life is not sacred let alone human death. Little more than "Happy Meals With Legs" as Spike once described them; people are mere playthings for the ungodly forces of this un-fare Borough. When dead the real deal commences. Body after sacred body is used to house pure evil. One's relatives can literally return to haunt. 

Sunnydale's cemeteries are awful places. Things go bump every night. Children's nightmares are fulfilled in terrifying manner. There is no such thing as paranoia in Sunnydale. Somebody is watching you, and your family and, everybody else you know. They are out to get you. No worry is outrageous or overprotective. If you are stupid enough to be out after dark count yourself lucky to be still breathing come morning. The darkness is unforgiving. The night is deadly. 

This night was no different than the others. It had already taken its grip on the graveyard. All remnants of the sun were long gone. The cold chill of the evening had already invaded all corners. A wet, misty fog hung over the tombstones as two people made their way past the rows of graves. Neither seemed especially bothered by the pervasive evil of their surroundings. 

Both the slayer and her true love, the Boy Wonder, were more concerned with a heart shaped object, which she displayed so prominently on her ring finger. 

"You put it on, Buffy!" 

"Of course I did, Xander, it was never in doubt, honey." 

They exchange a very warm kiss. They linger in each other's arms after coming up for air. 

Buffy looks at the boy accusingly. "How come you didn't come this morning?" 

"I told you, honey, I actually had a history thing to do. I'm sorry." 

He really puts a lot into the next embrace. 

Buffy makes an observation. "I somehow don't think much patrolling is going to get done tonight." 

After another deep kiss Xander replies. "Why would you say that?" 

After still another high powered locking of lips. "I don't know. Call it a hunch." 

"Well, we'll see if you're right after we do this a few more times." 

Xander becomes fixed on the presence of his fare damsel. Whenever he closes his eyes he is dazzled by the vision of Buffy decked in her maidenly garb. This image of the slayer has now established itself in his permanent collection of super memories. The ones he pulls out whenever he needs a quick dose of inspiration and motivation. 

Have Mercy!! 

They proceed to really heat up the night, so to speak. In the midst of one embrace they both stop, sensing the presence of the undead. They break, looking at one another. Buffy gives Xander a choice. 

"You or me?" 

That's a no-brainer. Xander rushes at the oncoming vampire. His punch nearly flips the monster in mid-stride. He stakes it effortlessly. 

Another one comes on the heals of that one. The result is the same. 

When two more find their way to our heroes Buffy decides she should join her heartthrob. 

What started out as a light night quickly turns into a struggle for survival. Either the vampires are suddenly getting smarter or else Buffy and Xander are slipping. They usually come at them one at a time seemingly unaware of the presence of one another. Not tonight. Before they know it they are surrounded by at least six. 

"Xander, when did this night take a turn for the ugly?" 

"I don't know, Buff, the last thing I remember I was dancing in the moonlight with this unbelievable maiden." 

"You just can't seem to get that imagine of me out of your mind, can you?" 

Xander is rudely punched to the ground. His amorous vision is suddenly blurred. 

"A few more of those might do the trick." 

Buffy is angry. They hit her honey. 

"You bastard! If you mess up his handsome features…" 

She finishes her sentence by pummeling the offending vamp. She is rewarded by having her legs kicked out from under her. Xander finishes the vamp on him and turns his attention to the one who upended his sweet heart. 

"That's my fiancé, the woman I love, you son of a bitch!" He smashes and stakes it in quick motion. 

Buffy takes a moment from the fight to stare at The Boy Wonder. 

"What did you just say?" 

Xander feigns forgetfulness. "I can't remember." 

Buffy can't pursue it as she is now being attacked by two more monsters of the midnight. 

All the playful bantering stops. Xander is viciously smashed with a tree branch. His grunt sends a chill down Buffy's spine. The slayer can't go to him as she is barely holding off three very angry vampires herself. 

The Boy Wonder manages to roll out of harms way after falling from the blow. He jumps up just in time to see Buffy sandwiched between two muscular attackers. Her head is jerked violently to one side from the collision. The wind is knocked out of her. 

Xander tries to come to her aide but has problems of his own. He stakes one but gets clawed to the top of the head in the process. The blood starts to trickle down into his eyes. He tries to blink it away but is not fast enough to avoid a foot slamming into his face. He hits the ground with a thud. 

Buffy barely recovers to finish off one of the vamps on her. The other one cuts her to the stomach with a knife. As she kicks it off she can feel herself bleeding. Ignoring it, the slayer launches herself into the last vamp of this group. 

Xander gets a fist to the jaw but comes back to stake the offender. Backing himself up against a tree to prevent them from attacking his rear, Xander defends himself from the last two on him. His exhaustion is evident. He also has to keep the trickling blood from blinding his view. 

The slayer takes care of her last vamp but takes another slash of a knife in the process. She staggers toward the last offender on Xander. Between them they dispatch it to the wind. 

When Buffy is finally able to look at Xander she sees the huge gash on his head. 

"Xander, let me stop the bleeding before any more come." 

The slayer takes off the bandana she is wearing. She gets some water from Xander's pack. She soaks the cloth then applies it to his wound. 

"Damn, Xander, it's pretty deep." 

"Just try to stop the bleeding, Buff, I'll be okay." 

She does, just in time. They are accosted by another wave. This time Buffy is really taking the heat. She was trying to play down her own wounds because Xander's was so bad but they are now taking their toll. She is weak and it shows. Xander sees her condition. He finishes off the vamp on him then goes to her side. 

"Buffy, what's the matter?" He sees the stain of blood on her mid-section. He touches it. 

"Shit, Buffy, what happened?" 

Almost in tears, "One of them had a knife." 

They stare at each other. Both of them know their time could be up on any given night. This is beginning to look like one of those nights. 

The only consolation for the slayer is that Xander is by her side. She prayed that when and if her time was up she could have Xander with her when it happened. 

For Xander, there is no consolation. If Buffy dies it's all over, everything. In addition to being a tragedy for the good forces of the world Buffy's death would be the end of everything that Xander stands for. 

He meets the next wave of vamps with one thought in mind, save Buffy. 

Xander gets that look in his eyes. His punches have that extra zip. His kicks have that extra snap. 

Unfortunately there are just too many of them. As quick as Buffy and her white knight dispatch a pair of night walkers a fresh pair replaces them. 

They battle their way out of the cemetery. 

The bastards have changed their strategy. They now seem to be concentrating on Xander. 

Our heroes try to make it to the closest point of safety, which, right now, is Willow's house. 

Buffy takes a vicious kick to the back while trying to get a crowd off her boyfriend. 

Xander is furiously trying to keep himself from collapsing with exhaustion. His main concern, of course, is for Buffy. He has to keep himself together until she gets to Willows'. 

Buffy will not leave Xander's side. He can now see the blood really coming from her stomach. 

They make a beeline to Willow's porch. There are about ten vamps on them now. Buffy is able to spring herself to Willow's door. She pounds on it, then goes back to the fray. The attackers have her completely cut off from Xander. 

Once the Boy Wonder sees Buffy knocking on Willow's door he figures she is safe. He lets his defenses down only because he can sense it is useless to continue. They seem to be in the mind to capture him rather than kill him. He decides to save his meager reserve of energy for a possible escape attempt. He stops battling and is soon subdued and drug into the night. 

Once they see the problem Willow and Oz come flying out of the house. They have crosses and holy water. They force the vamps away from the slayer. She starts to run in the direction that Xander was drug but collapses from exhaustion and blood loss. Willow and Oz call Giles, then load Buffy into the van. They head to the hospital. 

Neither says a word on the way to Sunnydale General. They both know something very terrible has happened. Something more terrible than normal Hellmouth terror. The look on Buffy's face when she collapsed was one of abject horror. The slayer is very sensitive. When it comes to Xander she can see and feel everything that is going on. 

The dark of this night is different. 

Giles brings Rebecca, Cordelia, Devon and Amy with him. Monica and Cindy join them. 

Willow tells the story, or, at least, what she knows of it. Monica felt it. 

"I knew something had happened. I could feel it. It was like a being inside a dark cloud." 

Giles tries to interject some hope. "At least they didn't kill him." 

Monica goes on. "No, you're right but, it's very dark, Giles. I can feel it. Shouldn't we be looking for him?" 

The girl is almost frantic. Everyone is looking at her. They had no idea she cared for Xander this much. Giles answers her. 

"As soon as we are able to talk to Buffy we will formulate a plan to search for him." 

Rebecca goes to her. She puts her arm around her trying to calm her spirits. "Honey, we have to see what her take on it is." 

With her soul mate captured or dead, no one is real anxious to face Buffy. 

Oz is really freaked by Monica. Xander and he are very close, now. He knows she has very keen perception. He goes to her. 

"Monica, I know when Buffy is able to get out she will want to get right to it." He looks at Giles. 

"Giles, I'm going to load up on some weapons, okay. I'll take Monica with me." 

"Okay, Oz, good idea." 

The wolf kisses Willow goodbye then he and Monica head to the Library. Monica stares at him while they are driving. Oz notices. 

"Are you alright, Monica?" 

"Oz, you're his good friend. Do you think he is okay?" 

"I don't think he's okay but I don't think he's dead." 

Monica closes her eyes. Oz has to ask her. 

"Monica, have you developed feelings for Xander?" 

"Oz, please don't ask me that. I just want him to be okay." 

"I don't know why they took him, Monica, but he's very good." 

"He is, isn't he? I mean…he's like one of the best, right?" 

After they park the van and get out Oz goes over to her. 

"Honey, we're all good. If we don't find him Buffy will. We'll hit all the sources. You're up to helping, right?" 

"Yes I am, Oz, thank you." They hug very warmly.

* * *

Buffy hangs between consciousness and deep sleep. She can see herself outside on a very pleasant sunlit day. She is lying on a blanket spread on the grass. Her head is very comfortably nestled in Xander's lap. The boy is idly stoking her hair. Both are basking in the beauty of the day and the presence of each other. 

Buffy feels something-liquid fall on her. It tickles as it drips into her ear. After the second time she looks up at her sweetie. 

"Xander, what are you…?" 

She is frozen in horror as she sees Xander's head slouched over, fresh blood dropping from his face and hair. 

She jerks herself awake. It only takes her a few seconds to remember what happened. The real nightmare is much worse than the sleepy time version. She feels herself begin to fall apart but shakes it off. She removes the IV from her arm. She gets dressed and walks to the waiting room. 

She looks directly at Giles with but one thought on her mind. 

"We have to find Xander." 

Oz and Monica come in. The wolf looks at the slayer. 

"We have our toys in the van." 

The slayer is all business. She addresses the group. 

"I'll go with Monica and Oz. The rest of you go with Giles and Rebecca." 

Giles adds. "We'll check the sewers, Buffy."

* * *

Xander is a little boy. He is playing in the park, thrusting himself high into the air on a swing. He slips off by accident. He momentarily floats through the air but then comes crashing down, rolling and scraping along the concrete sidewalk outside the swing area. 

He begins to cry. There is no one around to comfort him. He runs home in tears to tell his mommy what happened. As he comes in his house he sees his mother in the kitchen. He runs to her wrapping himself around her legs. 

"Honey, what happened to you?" 

Xander is too upset to reply. His mother picks him up. She carries him into the living room. She sits him on the couch so she can inspect his wounds. 

The little boy closes his eyes and lays his head back confident that his mother will make it all better. 

He begins to experience strange phenomena. It feels as if someone is sucking on his leg. He opens his eyes to see his mother staring at him with blood all over her mouth and teeth. He screams out in horror. 

"Mommy, what are you doing?" 

For some reason he can't move. He closes his eyes, trying to make it go away. He begins to sob. 

The adult Xander wakes from his nightmare. He should have stayed asleep. He is greeted by the sight and feel of his vampire stepmother liking on a small wound on his knee. When he tries to jerk from her touch he finds he is tied securely to a wooden cross. His pants and shirt are ripped and torn almost to shreds. 

His mother looks up at him. 

"What's the matter, Alexander, have a bad dream?" 

Xander wallows in terror as he struggles to try to remember what happened. 

Mr. Harris hears his wife talking to the boy. He comes to him. 

"Well, Xander, you're finally awake. I wanted to wait my turn until you could see it and feel it all happen." 

He joins his undead wife in sucking and liking the various wounds Xander sustained in the fight. 

The Boy Wonder has to grit his teeth to offset the anger and pain of seeing and feeling his parent's perversity. 

His father continues his taunting. 

"You don't mind if we do this, do you son? You weren't worth a shit when you were growing up but you sure have sweet blood. It must be all that slayer booty you've been getting." 

Xander tries to ignore them as they continue their assault on his decency. He can barely contain himself. No matter what he does he cannot block out the pain of his mother and father sucking the blood from his veins. 

A sudden crash jerks his attention. The main door to the room flings open. He gets a glimpse of a blonde-headed woman flying past him, barreling into his parents. 

It is Buffy with Giles following close behind. He can see her golden hair tossing up and down as she assaults the two sadistic vampires. Giles busies himself with the other four vamps in the room. 

Xander watches as the slayer drives his former stepparents back through a small door. As she tries to pursue them further they lock the door from their side. She curses then turns her attention to her beleaguered soul mate. She approaches him with tears in her eyes. 

"Xander, what have they done to you?" 

He cannot describe the relief he feels as Buffy embraces him. He was very close to losing it. Her presence immediately begins the healing process. 

"Buffy, honey, please cut me down from here." 

Xander begins to feel a burning sensation in his chest. When Buffy breaks from him she has a knife in her hands. He sees blood soaking through what is left of his white shirt. He looks at her in horror. 

"Buffy…what…?" 

The slayer licks his blood off the knife. Xander begins to sob. 

"You little sissy! What the fuck did I ever see in you?" 

"Buffy, please!" 

"You're pathetic Xander." 

A knock comes to the back door. Mr. and Mrs. Harris come back into the room. They join Buffy in front of Xander. The three of them enjoy a good laugh. 

H e desperately tries to shake the vision from his mind. Buffy approaches him. 

"I know what you're thinking, Xander-poo. I always know what you're thinking. But, it's really me, sweetie. I tried your side of the fence. I thought I'd try this side for awhile." 

She continues the barrage. "My daring white knight all beaten up and cut up and…" 

She starts to suck on his chest. She reaches into her pocket, pulling out a vial of liquid. She takes a step back while tossing it into his open wound. It smokes as it burns and singes his skin. He screams in pain before passing out. 

"Buffy, no…!!!" 

Every time he wakes Buffy is there to punch him or kick him or burn him. 

This is it. They found the way. The vision of his blonde slayer goddess hurting him over and over again is too much for him to take. Each time he passes out from the pain he hopes he doesn't wake again. If Buffy is evil it's all over for him. There is nothing! Tears roll down from his eyes. 

"Xander, I thought you were stronger than this. All you do is whine and cry and bleed and burn. I thought you were the great Boy Wonder?" 

As he hangs there in final dejection and agony he is assaulted by still another presence. 

Through the door walks Angel in all his brooding splendor. 

When the vampire comes to Buffy she coos his name. 

"Angel?" 

She throws herself into his arms. 

"Angel, Angel you came back to me. I knew you would." 

Xander is forced to watch as she fawns and fondles and falls all over him. 

"I thought you were dead, Angel." 

"Your love brought me back, Buffy. I knew you still loved me." 

"I'm sorry, Angel, I don't know why I went with him." 

She breaks the embrace with fire in her eyes. She turns back to Xander. 

"You pathetic little boy. You tried to take me from my Angel." 

She hits him with another vial of acid. He grimaces in pain. 

Xander watches in surreal stupor as Buffy and Angel proceed to make out in front of him. His last vision as he passes out is Angel sneering at him as the vampire and his soul mate bring each other to ecstasy. 

He prays from the bottom of his soul that this be his last breath.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: There is a third part coming very shortly. It is entitled: "IT'S NEVER EASY" 

* * *

The End 

* * *

  
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	21. IT'S NEVER EASY 1

* * *

Part One--Did They Win? 

* * *

**Giles, Rebecca and their crew come back to the library. Willow and Cordelia can't control their sobs. They looked half the night, through every inch of the sewer system. They must still have him. The only glimmer of hope is that perhaps Buffy and Oz had better luck.  
  


* * *

  
  
Willie stands behind the bar. His clientele sometimes sickens him. It's one thing to clean up after drunks. Cleaning up after sleazy vermin is quite another. He understandably can't keep any helpers. There is just something about the sight of blood all over the tables and floor night after night that drives the workers away. Add the fact that the patrons sometimes feast on the staff. Well, you get the picture.  
  
There were only two or three things lingering in the bar. For some reason it was a very slow night. Usually he is packed at this time of the midnight. Willie had gotten wind of something in the air. He was about to find out exactly what it was all about.  
  
He hears two or three loud crashes coming from his normally quiet front doors. The next thing he knows he is being approached by a very pissed-off looking slayer and her two formidable companions.  
  
As soon as his patrons see the presence of the slayer they try to leave the joint in a hurry. Oz tackles one in mid-flight. The normally calm Monica Gentry moves faster than she thought possible in pinning the other against the wall. She is too traumatized to worry about the fact that this creature of the night could probably have her for a snack if this were a normal time. Right now, the presence of the slayer is enough to put the fear of god into them.  
  
When Willie sees the look on Buffy's face he starts to back away from her.  
  
"Slayer, how's your Boy Wonder?  
  
"Don't get funny, Willie. Where do they have him?"  
  
Willie doesn't know but Buffy still has him up against the wall.  
  
"Slayer, your boy and I are on good terms. We communicate."  
  
"Where the hell do they have him, Willie?"  
  
"Slayer, I heard something was up but I had no idea it involved him. Nobody knows. It's one of those secret things."  
  
Monica questions the vamp she stopped. It is soon evident he knows nothing. She approaches the vamp Oz has detained. It's the same story. Monica goes to Willie. Buffy asks him the question again. She gets the same answer. She looks at Monica.  
  
"Unfortunately he's telling the truth. All three of them are."  
  
Our heroes start to leave. Willie calls to them.  
  
"Slayer, if I do get anything I'll pass it on to you."  
  
"Thanks, Willie."  
  
The determined trio finds nothing. Not a loose daemon in Hellmouth even had a clue. Whoever called this shot kept it under tight wrap. The closest they came was one brave soulless one who claimed that after tonight the balance was to be tipped in the favor of evil.   
  
The slayer made sure this horned freak wouldn't get to see it. His ashes are probably blowing out to sea by now.  
  
Tonight is not the night to mess with Buffy Anne Summers!  
  
The more they came up empty the more their nerves became frayed. The slayer was really becoming edgy. She was getting progressively more and more annoyed with Monica. Buffy could barely contain her own pain and anger but Monica was really losing it. The slayer had to address her.  
  
"Look Monica, he's my goddamn soul mate, okay!"  
  
Monica looks her straight in the eye. "So what?"  
  
"So, why the hell are you falling apart?"  
  
"I'm worried about him, alright. You think you're the only one who can worry about him?"  
  
Oz decides to try to calm things. He begins to address the slayer.  
  
"Buffy…"  
  
"She interrupts him right away.  
  
"Don't get me started on you, Oz."  
  
"Buffy, come on."  
  
"You and Xander and Giles, the gentleman's club. Let's keep Buffy safe."  
  
Oz is mad. "Are you going to start on that shit, again?"  
  
"Yea, I am. You don't like it?"  
  
"Why don't you make up your mind, slayer."  
  
"What the hell does that mean, Wolf Boy?"  
  
Oz is really hitting heavy. "Do you want to be a little girl in love or do you want to be the slayer?"  
  
Buffy makes a move towards him. Monica tries to block her path.  
  
"Buffy, please! Can we keep on looking for Xander?"  
  
Oz realizes he blew his cool.  
  
"Monica's right. Let's get back to our search."  
  
Buffy stops. She puts her head down trying to regain her composure.  
  
"I'm sorry, you guys. I know you feel bad, too."  
  
They both warm up. Oz goes to her.  
  
"It's not lost yet. If it was both of you would feel it."  
  
Oz is right. But Buffy has found out something that really bothers her. She has figured out why Monica is so upset. She has to put it out of her mind, however.  
  
They go back to the search.  
  
Hours later they drift back to the library to join the rest of the Scooby gang. No one says a word. Willow cannot stop sobbing. Oz lovingly embraces her.  
  
After ten minutes or so Buffy gets up. She begins to walk out. Giles questions her.  
"Where are you going, Buffy?"  
  
"I'm going to the cemetery. I'm not giving up, Giles."  
  
"It's nearly sun up, Buffy."  
  
"I don't care, Giles."  
  
Oz looks at her. "Do you want company, Buffy?"  
  
"That's okay, Oz, get some sleep. You can start again in a few hours."  
  
Buffy leaves for the cemetery.  
  


* * *

  
  
The mausoleum had one small candle burning inside. A woman sat by it crying into the night. Her world was being shattered like it had never been before. In all the days of her mostly dark existence this was the blackest. There was no saving grace.   
  
This night is one she hopes she doesn't survive.  
  
It's just not going to be worth it after tonight. In all her shattered years she never had a damn thing to feel good about. At first she thought she was in love with someone. But, he was a monster. He was evil, pure and simple. He killed with a smile, ravaged, plundered. She now knew that she stuck with him more out of fear than anything else.  
  
She learned this because she has felt love now. She knows what it is. It is beautiful and wonderful and brings true happiness even to one such as her. Even if it is unrequited love, at least she feels it. They have good memories together. Better memories than she has ever had in her long life.  
  
But tonight it will be all over. The light of her life is being extinguished. The joy in her heart is being crushed. The smile on her face is being forever removed.  
  
She hated them all. Even though she knew by saying that she was condemning herself. But, they all wanted him dead. They were all rejoicing about tonight. They all thought tonight was glorious.  
  
How could she be a part of this? How could she be one of them?   
  
She was ashamed of who she was, what she was. She didn't deserve his friendship, his love. She didn't deserve to even know him.   
  
She had to find the slayer. Even if they kill her. Even if they hunt her down like a dog. She couldn't just let this happen. It was probably too late but she, at least, had to try.  
  
The woman gets up, going into the misty fog of the cemetery. She doesn't have to walk far before she sees the person she wants to see. She tentatively walks up to the slayer. When Buffy sees her she catches fire in her eyes.  
  
"Rachel, you bitch, get ready to die."  
  
Buffy starts to move on her. The vampire doesn't resist but tries to offer something in her defense.  
  
"I want to help you find him, Buffy."  
  
Buffy is startled. "You want to help me find him, Rachel? You're murderous friends have him. How about you, were you in on it?"  
  
"Don't be stupid, Buffy, I'm not in on it."  
  
"Why would I even think that? Let's see. Vampires have him. You're a vampire. That's good enough for me."  
  
"Are you going to act like you don't even know who I am?"  
  
"Who are you, Rachel? Last time I saw you it was hard to tell."  
  
"Why don't we ask Xander?"  
  
"Rachel, I'll give you a five second head start!"  
  
"Would you stop it, slayer, we are wasting time here."  
  
"Look, I'm having a bad night, a real bad night…"  
  
Rachel interrupts her.  
  
"So am I, Buffy!"  
  
"Well, forgive me if I don't give a shit."  
  
"We have a lot in common, Buffy."  
  
"And, what would that be, Rachel?"  
  
"Let's just say we have the same taste in men."  
  
"This talk is over. Are you going to put up a fight or am I just going to stake your ass?"  
  
"Stop the self righteous shit, slayer. Yea, I'm a vampire. But I have never hurt Xander in all the time I've known him. Can you say the same?"  
  
Buffy grabs Rachel by the throat. Rachel doesn't back down.  
  
"I got out of your way, Buffy."  
  
Although she doesn't want to do it she has to admit Rachel is right. She backs away from her.  
  
"Look, Rachel, I love Xander more…"  
  
"Yea, finally."   
  
"Don't push your luck!"  
  
"We are wasting time."  
  
Buffy is angry and weary. She decides to trust Rachel but, only grudgingly  
  
"Xander thinks you're our friend, Rachel. Are you?"  
  
"Buffy, we both love Xander, okay? I don't expect us to be friends. I would give everything I have to be you. If that makes you feel insecure, I'm sorry."  
  
"I think you better shut up, Rachel. Let's go find him."  
  
Rachel leads Buffy to a new underground system. They don't have to roam around long. They come upon a body lying in a pool of sewer water. Rats are gnawing and squeaking all over it.  
  
Both Rachel and Buffy get violently sick to their stomachs.  
  
"Oh, my God, it's Xander."  
  
They get the rats away from him. They pick him up, dragging him out of the sewer. Buffy listens to see if he has a pulse.  
  
In tears, "He's still breathing."  
  
"Buffy, my place is close. Let's take him there until you call the others."  
  
The slayer can barely breathe but she helps Rachel take Xander to her place. Buffy calls Giles.  
  
Everyone is crashed out all over the library.  
  
The librarian answers. "Hello…Buffy? You did? We'll be right over."  
  
Giles looks at the rest of the Scooby gang who are now all looking in his direction.  
  
"Buffy found him."  
  
They head out to Rachel's  
  
Buffy and Rachel clean Xander up as best as they can. It is sickening. He has cuts and bruises and burns over most of his body. He's not dead but he has no spirit to him. Buffy looks at Rachel. She is dead serious.  
  
"Find out what they did to him!"  
  
Rachel doesn't argue. She leaves.  
  
Buffy is scared. Her inner sense tells her that they did something more to him then beat him up. Fear grips her. Deep fear, as deep within her as her love for this man lying lifeless before her. It has her terrified.  
  
Xander is one of the strongest and most disciplined persons Buffy knows. What did they possibly do to him that he is so lifeless? Whenever Xander was hurt before he always still had his spirit. Even when she attacked him while under the spell. He still had his internal spirit in tact.  
  
Not this time. This time it was complete, whatever it was. It got all of him.  
  
All the slayer wants to do is hold Xander until whatever is wrong goes away. That's all she wants to do. Let somebody else worry about everything else.  
  
The rest of the gang comes in. They all sense the depth of the horror. Monica is first to speak.  
  
"What did they do to him, Buffy?"  
  
"I don't know, Monica." They embrace in tears.  
  
Willow practically collapses in Oz's arms. The wolf looks at Giles from over Willow's shoulder. They exchange worried glances. Rebecca puts her arm around Cordelia who looks like she is about to collapse.  
  
After getting over their shock, Giles, Devon and Oz carry Xander to Oz's van. They decide to go to an out of town hospital. They have made too many appearances at Sunnydale General. It's getting hard to come up with reasons for Xander's wounds. They leave a note for Rachel.  
  
Once Xander is checked in Rebecca and Giles join the others in the waiting room. No one says a word. Xander is not dead but everybody shares the dark, dark feeling of evil. Something was done to Xander. Something which is unspeakable. Something which is not going to go away. Giles looks at Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, where did you find him?"  
  
"Rachel…Rachel took me to a new underground system. He was lying there…with…with the rats…eating…"  
  
She doesn't finish but she doesn't have to. Everybody gets the message.  
  
Giles asks another question. "What happen to Rachel?"  
  
"She…she went to see if she find out what…what they did…to him."  
  
An hour or so later Rachel comes to the hospital. All eyes are on her. Rebecca addresses her.  
  
"Rachel, did you find out anything?"  
  
Rachel's face is stained with dirt and tears. It is evident that the answer is horrible.  
  
"First…his mother and father tortured him…and…sucked…the blood from him. Then they staged a rescue. Drusilla…drugged him into thinking she was…Buffy. She kept…cutting him and…and burning him and…"  
  
She has to stop for a minute to compose herself. Buffy is sick. She has to throw up in the trashcan. Then she walks over to the vampire. Rachel continues.  
  
"They tricked him into thinking Angel came back. They both…tortured him. And then…then they…made love…in front…of him."  
  
Buffy screams out. "No…no…no!" The slayer backs up to the wall. She keeps shaking her head.  
  
The slayer knew it. The worst possible thing that could be done to Xander. Nothing could be worse. It's like they knew. They knew exactly what could break him.  
  
Buffy dries her tears. She gets a real hard look on her face. She slowly walks toward Rachel.  
  
"How did they know, Rachel?"  
  
"How did they know what, Buffy?"  
  
Buffy pins her to the chair. "How did they know what to do to him to break him?"  
  
"Come on, Buffy, everybody knows what makes Xander tick. It's not that hard to figure out."  
  
Oz gets worried. Xander would not approve of the slayer roughing up Rachel. He would never forgive Buffy. He goes over to calm her down. She sees him coming.  
  
"Don't come over here, Oz!"  
  
"Buffy, this is stupid."  
  
"Stupid, she's a Goddamn vampire! She's part of the ones who did this!"  
  
"No she's not, Buffy, and you know it. She's Xander's friend. She helped find him, right?"  
  
Buffy stares at Rachel.  
  
"I feel bad enough, Buffy. I love him too, you know?"  
  
Buffy slowly returns to her seat. She prefers to ignore the last part of what Rachel said. She did help her find him. Without her Xander may still be lying in the sewer.  
  
For now the slayer will allow the vampire to grieve with the rest of the gang.  
  
This is where Rachel should be. As she looks around the room she can see the genuine affection of everyone here for Xander.  
  
Rebecca keeps looking at Buffy. She knows what is going through her mind. She goes to the slayer. She puts her arm around her.  
  
"Buffy, let's go to the cafeteria. It's open all night. Somebody will get us if there's news."  
  
They grab a cup of coffee then sit down.  
  
"I know what you're thinking, Buffy."  
  
"He's alive. That's the main thing. I just wanted him to be alive."  
  
"He's a very strong…"  
  
Buffy interrupts her. "Rebecca, the one thing, probably the only thing which could…which could make Xander…stop loving me is seeing Angel…Angel and I…"  
  
She has to stop to sniff back her tears.  
  
"And, his mother…his mother sucking…it always bothered him that his mother was never there for him. He loved her so much. He thought it was his fault. Rebecca…I'm afraid. I'm afraid this is…this is the end. Xander is strong but…"  
  
She trails off. Rebecca knows this is different than all the other times, even the Angelus induced spell. She has no encouraging words for the slayer. She can only join her in grief.  
  
They are in the hospital until mid day before they hear anything. The doctor comes out.  
  
"Mr. Harris lost an unbelievable amount of blood. So much so that he may have suffered brain damage. He has lacerations and burns on more than seventy-five percent of his body He appears to have responded almost miraculously to the treatment, however. He is not dehydrated which is a good sign. He hasn't woken up but we don't think he is in a coma. When he does wake you are welcome to visit him."  
  
Looking around at all the blank but tired faces, the doctor continues.  
  
"My suggestion is to go home and get some sleep. We will call as soon as anything changes. He is very lucky to be alive."   
  
When the doctor leaves Giles talks to the group.  
  
"Let's all go home and get some sleep. We can organize watches when we're all rested."  
  
Oz talks Willow into leaving but Buffy and Monica are not going. Giles tries to persuade the slayer.  
  
"Buffy, you can't afford to get run down. We still…"  
  
She interrupts him.  
  
"Don't talk to me about slaying, Giles. Don't talk to me about anything."  
  
"Buffy…"  
  
The slayer is angry at the world.   
  
"You'll be real happy to know that he tricked me, Giles. I thought he was right behind me when I went to Willow's porch. He knew they were after him and not me. As soon as I was safe he gave up. Protect the slayer. You really taught him well, watcher."  
  
Giles turns around to leave but Buffy goes up to him. She forcibly turns him around.  
  
"I hate you for that Giles." She looks around for Oz.  
  
"And, you too, Oz. You and Xander, perfect dark side buddies."  
  
Willow is torn apart herself. She always defends Buffy's position. But, not this time.  
  
"Buffy, stop attacking everyone!"  
  
The slayer stares at Willow.  
  
"I thought you understood, Willow."  
  
"I understand that you are upset and that you have a right to be upset but we all love Xander, Buffy. You're his soul mate but I've known Xander all my life. I love him too! We're all pissed off."  
  
Cordelia chimes in. "She's right, Buffy. A few of us would give up a whole lot to be in your position. But all you do is get mad at him for trying to save your life. I thought the whole idea of the Scooby gang was to help you. Isn't that Xander's whole "One Of Them" gig?"  
  
Buffy has to sniff back tears. "You heartless bitch! How can you be so Goddamn flip about it, Cordelia? Did you see him? Did you see what they did to him?"  
  
The brunet has more to say. "Yea, slayer, look at him. All for you Buffy, all for you! You have a lot of guts to call me heartless. You and your Goddamn freak show put him in there!"  
  
Cordelia storms out. Rebecca gets Buffy in a hug. Everyone besides Monica leaves. Rebecca tells Giles she will meet him at her house, later.  
  
Monica can't leave. She is too upset to sleep. She realizes Buffy will be mad at her for staying but she can't help it. Rebecca talks to Buffy.  
  
"Do you want some time alone, Buffy?"  
  
"Yes, please, Rebecca."   
  
Rebecca and Monica go to the cafeteria.  
  
The slayer sneaks into Xander's room. It is awful. She is sad to say it but she has seen him broken up physically before. That was terrifying enough. This is like being at his funeral.  
  
Buffy sits in absolute agony. It's bad enough if her and Xander can't be together, again. But, the thought that they may have destroyed him is what has her most afraid.  
  
The slayer can't help it. She goes over to him. She picks up his hand, sitting down beside him on the bed. She whispers to him.  
  
"Xander, honey, it's me. It's really me."  
  
Buffy is very surprised when Xander begins to stir. She didn't think he would wake up. She doesn't know what to do. She tries to soothe him.  
  
"Please, Xander, go back to sleep, honey."  
  
The boy wakes. He briefly opens his eyes. He sees Buffy. He gets a look of panic and fear and sadness in his eyes. He starts to gasp for breath. He gets up from the bed, backing away from Buffy. He rips out the wires that were attached to him.  
  
Buffy was frozen but now knows that she has to get out of there. Xander has a look on his face that Buffy has never seen. He is looking as if his entire world is out of kilter, like he can't get any footing to stand on. He can't get his balance.  
  
She runs out of the room, calling one of the nurses.  
  
"What were you doing in there, miss?"  
  
"I…I…was…"  
  
Buffy can't talk. The nurse rushes past her to Xander. The slayer goes back to the waiting room. She sits on one of the chairs. She wraps her arms around her knees. She begins to rock back and forth.  
  
Xander is worse than she could ever have imagined. Why did she go in there? What is wrong with her? Her lover is in trouble and all she can think of is herself. Rachel told her what they did to him. She should have known he wouldn't be able to tell if it was really her or if it was Drusilla, again.  
  
Buffy begins to sob uncontrollably.   
  
Rachel is right. All I do is hurt him. I'm no good for him. All he does is love me and help me and try to protect me and all I do is get mad at him and cause him pain.   
  


* * *

  
  
Rebecca looks at Monica. The young woman is not hiding her emotions very well.  
  
"Monica, you feel a deep bond with Xander, don't you?"  
  
The girl tears up. "Rebecca, I can't help it. I don't know what it is. I can barely handle being around him. I'm loyal to Buffy. I know Xander loves her with all his heart and soul…Do you think I should leave the group, Rebecca?"  
  
"No, I don't, Monica."  
  
Rebecca stares at her for a minute before continuing.  
  
"Monica, I was hoping you wouldn't have these feelings for quite some time. Honey, it is really going to be hard for you."  
  
Rebecca gently grabs her hands.  
  
"You're a very special young woman, Monica, and we need you. Xander needs you, especially now."  
  
Monica knows that Rebecca is talking about the fact that Xander will probably not want to be with Buffy.  
  
"Rebecca, I could never take advantage of a situation like this."  
  
"I know you wouldn't, Monica. Xander is going to be drawn toward you and I know you wouldn't take advantage of him no matter how bad your heart ached for him. That's why he really needs you."  
  
"I feel so bad for both of them, Rebecca. This will kill her."  
  
"It is going to be very hard, Monica, but we have to keep things together. Buffy is going to be murder to be around. She'll be hard and she'll be in everyone's face."  
  
Rebecca continues. "The most important thing is to make sure we keep Xander on this side. We can't allow him to use that damn hard edge he has to shut everybody out. The next few weeks are going to be so dangerous for him."  
  
Monica is crying. "Rebecca, I…I don't have the kind of internal strength to deal with Xander and Buffy. He's going to tear my heart apart, Rebecca."  
  
Rebecca tries to cheer her up.  
  
"Honey, you are stronger than you think. You have even shown me a thing or two."  
  
"I'm not strong when I'm around him."  
  
They sit in silence for awhile before Monica breaks it.  
  
"No matter what I feel for Xander, it would be a tragedy if they have killed his love for Buffy. She is his entire world. I don't want that to happen, Rebecca. I don't want to be any part of getting between he and Buffy."  
  
Rebecca's heart soars. She smiles at her young student.  
  
"Monica, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You have remarkable strength. What you just said is amazing. You were meant to come to us, Monica. I am proud to say I know you."  
  
The two women embrace. They go back up to the waiting room. Buffy is still just rocking back and forth. They go to her. Rebecca talks to her.  
  
"Buffy, what happened?"  
  
"I…I tried…I tried to go…in to see him. He…he woke up. He…the look…in his eyes. It was panic, Rebecca."  
  
She starts to cry heavily. "Buffy, we're going to call your mother. You should go home, honey."  
  
"You're right, Rebecca. He can't see me, again. I can't do that to him. It doesn't matter how I feel."  
  
Monica and Rebecca are both in tears as Buffy goes home with Joyce.  
**

* * *

Go on to Part Two 

* * *

  
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	22. Chapter 2

* * *

Part Two--The New Man 

* * *

**It takes Xander the better part of two days to figure out he is free from the torture chamber. The gang takes turns staying with him but he doesn't respond to anyone. He is recovering from his wounds nicely but he barely says a word. He doesn't ask for Buffy at all.  
  
It is almost a week before he has a real conversation with anyone. Willow is with him. He looks at her.  
  
"Willow, would you ask Giles to come see me."  
  
"Xander, are you okay?"  
  
"I will be Willow. I have to get back to school and I have to get back to the slaying."  
  
"Xander, do you want me to get Buffy?"  
  
"No I don't, Willow. Could you just get Giles for me?"  
  
Willow is very upset. There is something very different with Xander. There is nothing in his eyes, nothing at all. Willow has never seen him like this in all the years she has known him. She goes to the library. Most of the gang is there. Buffy has been like a zombie.  
  
"Giles, Xander wants to see you."  
  
"Oh," He looks at Buffy. "Do you want to come with me. Buffy?"  
  
Willow looks at Giles. "He asked for just you, Giles." Looking at the slayer. "I'm sorry, Buffy."  
  
Giles goes to the hospital. He goes to Xander's room.  
  
"Giles, can you check me out?"  
  
"Xander, do you think your ready to leave?"  
  
"I'm just about healed, Giles."  
  
"How about mentally and emotionally?"  
  
"Giles, I'm ready to deal with Hellmouth, again."  
  
Giles starts to go to the desk but stops. He looks back at Xander.  
  
"Xander, I didn't tell you this before but I know you made sure Buffy got away. Thank you."  
Xander answers almost matter of factly. "That is my job."  
  
Giles is happy Xander is physically ready to leave but even he can feel that there is something very different with the boy. He's emotionless. It's even a bit eerie.  
  
The watcher checks him out. Then, they go back to the library.  
  
When everyone sees Xander they crowd around him. Buffy hangs to the back. One by one everyone gets a first hand look at the difference in the boy. Buffy does not even have to approach him. She can feel it. He doesn't look her way at all.  
  
Buffy told Giles that she would patrol alone, even when Xander got out. When Giles announces this Xander doesn't comment. The slayer has to hold back the tears. Xander never wanted her to patrol alone. Now, it appears, he doesn't care.  
  
The watcher has him slated to patrol with Monica. Buffy doesn't like this at all but she holds her tongue. She made a promise to God that she wouldn't push anything with Xander if he could just recover from this incident. The fact that he is even at this meeting is proof that they did not completely kill his spirit. Maybe the rest would come with time.  
  
Monica is very nervous. When she heard she would be patrolling with Xander her heart leap for joy but then was tempered with guilt. She remembers her conversation with Rebecca at the hospital.  
  
Xander also goes back to school. He says little or nothing to anyone. After about a week of this Buffy can't stand it. She has to, at least, know where they stand. Aside from a very casual hello and goodbye they have not had a conversation since the whole thing happened.   
  
She approaches him at his locker. "Xander, can we go someplace to talk?"  
  
"I'm busy, Buffy?"  
  
"Please?"  
  
Xander sighs but then follows Buffy to a private place.  
  
She approaches him very nervously. "Xander, I'm not trying to put pressure on you, honey, but could you please tell me where we stand?"  
  
Xander replies without even the slightest expression on his face.  
  
"Buffy, I need everything I have for the struggle."  
  
"I know you do, Xander, but that's not what I asked you."  
  
"We both need to keep ourselves together so we can battle the Hellmouth."  
Buffy knows Xander had a horrible thing happen to him but she has to push it just a little.  
  
"What does that mean Xander?"  
  
He looks into her eyes for the first time. "It means we're going to take care of business."  
  
"Xander, my heart is broken in two. I swore I would go along with whatever you wanted but this is stupid. You can't just shut yourself off. You're not a machine"  
  
Even in his new state Xander can feel his blood start to boil but he is not going to allow her to break him. He suffered enough for his love for her. Besides, she has no idea what they did to him. He has not discussed it with anyone. And what if they do it to her next time?  
  
This last point is the one, which scares him the most. He can feel the tears starting to come to his eyes. He has to leave before Buffy sees.  
  
"I have to go to class, Buffy."  
  
He leaves in a hurry. Buffy cannot stop her tears. Xander loses his battle, also.  
  


* * *

  
  
Monica meets Xander for patrol. She feels she is with a stranger. He has been very good as far as fighting is concerned but they have had little human exchange in three days. Monica cannot stand it. She stares at him. He doesn't respond. She stops.  
  
When Xander notices she is no longer walking with him he looks back at her.  
  
"Are you coming, Monica?"  
  
"What the hell are you doing, Xander?"  
  
"I thought we were on our way to patrol. Did I miss something?"  
  
She catches up to him. "You can't do this forever."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about, Monica?"  
  
"Be like this. You can't be like this forever. Sooner or later it's going to get to you."  
  
Xander is disgusted. Just what he needs, somebody else trying to probe him.  
  
"What, did Buffy have a talk with you?"  
  
"Yea, that's a joke."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
Monica suddenly feels very uncomfortable. "This is about you, hard ass, not me."  
  
Shaking his head. "What do you want, Monica?"  
  
"I want you to be the person I…the person who saved me from the Werewolves."  
  
"That person is gone."  
  
"Why, Xander?"  
  
"The discussion is over, Monica."  
  
"No it's not, Xander. Talk to me, please? Tell me what's wrong?"  
  
Xander gets angry. "You don't know what's wrong? What are you, an asshole?"  
  
She walks in front of him. She grabs him by the shoulders.  
  
"Xander you got away. It's over. You can go back to being yourself."  
  
She has him, now. The expression on his face turns. The anger and pain and terror in his eyes takes Monica's breath away. He'll tell her about it now. But, is she ready?  
  
"It's over! You think it's over? Do you know what the fuck they did to me?"  
  
"Xander…yes I do. Rachel told us."  
  
"You know yet you still have the guts to tell me it's over?"  
  
Xander is really tearing her apart. "I don't mean the pain is over, Xander. I mean you're not with your enemies anymore. You're back with the people who love you."  
  
Monica is in tears now. Xander looks away from her. She cups his face in her hand, raising his eyes to hers.  
  
"Xander…I'm…I'm one of them. Please let me comfort you. Let somebody comfort you. You're the best man I know, Xander. Please don't let those bastards change you. If they can change you then they can change anybody."  
  
There is something about Monica. Xander feels this incredible bond with her. Most importantly, right now, he feels he can trust her. He stares at her. He starts to get out of breath.  
  
"Monica…"  
  
He breaks down in her arms. He is shaking.  
  
"Xander, let's go to my house. It's dangerous out here."  
  
They walk silently, hand in hand, to Monica's house. She fixes some hot chocolate. Xander starts right in.  
  
"It was awful, Monica. My mother…I was having this dream…"  
  
He can't go on. He starts to sob and shake and pant. He is breaking Monica's heart.  
  
The more he tells her the more he cries and sweats. It is coming out of him, the whole thing.  
  
Monica has to get up. She is coming very close to a danger point. Xander is very vulnerable and open right now. Everything inside of her is screaming to be here for him, to comfort him, to give him shelter from this awful storm…to love him. But, it's not right.  
  
She gives him a very warm hug. "I'll be right back, Xander."  
  
She goes into the other room and closes the door. She picks up the phone.  
  
Buffy is in her room sulking as she has been since this whole thing happened. Patrol, school and her room, that's it. The phone rings.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"What do you want, Monica?"  
  


* * *

  
  
When she hangs up the phone Monica goes back to Xander. He is sitting with his eyes closed, shaking as he remembers the ordeal. When the doorbell rings Monica tells Xander she will only be a minute.  
  
She opens the door joining Buffy on the front porch. Buffy is pissed as expected.  
  
"Oh, that's real good, Monica. You know what condition he is in so seduce him to your house. What did you call me for, to gloat?"  
  
"Stop it, slayer. You'll never know how hard this is for me to do. He's in there all torn apart. It should be you in there with him."  
  
Buffy stares at Monica. She didn't know what to expect when the girl called her but she certainly didn't expect to have to face Xander. She is terrified.  
  
"He hates me, Monica. As much as I don't want to say this, maybe you should just do what you can do for him."  
  
Seeing how afraid Buffy is, Monica addresses her very warmly.  
  
"Buffy, it's still you who can melt his heart. I would never take advantage of him or you like that."  
  
For the first time Buffy really sees how good of a person is Monica Gentry. She closes her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry I attacked you, Monica. I can't face him. You heard Rachel say what I did to him."  
  
"Buffy, it's what Drusilla did to him not you. You have to tell him that. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for your love. It can beat this. Just do it, Buffy."  
  
Buffy stares at Monica. She's right.  
  
"Thank you, Monica." They embrace warmly. Buffy follows Monica into her house. She takes a deep breath. This may be the hardest thing she has ever had to do. Buffy has never forgiven herself for the pain she caused Xander before they were together. Now, this.  
  
Buffy knows the whole thing with Angel will probably come up. She is not going to back down, however. She is not going to allow Hellmouth to destroy the best thing that has ever happened to either one of them. This is for both of them.  
  
The slayer has no idea what Xander will do when he sees her. She is so afraid she can hardly breathe. She doesn't have to wait too long to find out. Monica approaches Xander.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
When he hears Monica's voice he practically jumps into her arms.  
  
Buffy is very hurt but doesn't say a word. The boy still doesn't see her.  
  
"Xander, Buffy is here."  
  
When he finally sees her he panics. "No, get her out of here! Get her the fuck out of here!"  
  
The slayer jumps at the harshness of his voice.  
  
Xander looks at Monica hard. "What the hell are you doing? Was this some kind of trick?"  
  
"No it isn't, Xander. This is Buffy Summers, the woman who beats in your heart. Stop trying to ignore her. She is the one who can get you through this."  
  
"Do you know what she did to me?"  
  
Buffy knows she has to do this. She has to have the courage to make him face this so they can both go on. If she doesn't it will destroy them. She goes in front of the trembling boy.  
  
"No, Xander, that was not me. I would never hurt you."  
  
Xander is not going to break down in front of her. He quickly composes himself but Buffy isn't buying it. Xander stands up as if to leave.  
  
"No Xander, don't leave. What is this? You were going to let somebody else comfort you but you won't let me?"  
  
"Buffy, I don't want to do this."  
  
"You don't want to do what, Xander?"  
  
"I'm not going to let you break me!"  
  
The slayer doesn't fully understand but she gets a whiff of something that really disturbs her.  
  
"Wait a minute, Xander. Are you saying you don't want to break down in front of me because you don't want me to see you weak?"  
  
"I told you. I'm not going to let you win this!"  
  
"Goddamn it, Xander, it's not a contest. You're hurting. I'm your soul mate. What kind of a message is this to give to me? I love you. We're almost married, Xander. I know it was horrible. I know what they did to you. But, it wasn't really me. I'm the woman you love with all your heart and soul."  
  
The boy stares at her. "The slayer princess, the fucking prima donna of the slaying world!"  
  
"You can't fool me with that hard ass stuff, Xander. I think I know what the problem is now. You found out something you really didn't want to face. In all the tragedy of what happened, the thing that bothered you the most is you found out how much you really need me."  
  
"Oh, yea, the great slayer figured it all out. Contemplate getting over yourself."  
  
Buffy tries to get close to him. "Xander, I want to go through this with you. I'm not made out of plastic. I'm not going to break."  
  
"Look, Slayer, you don't want to hear it in detail, believe me."  
  
"Yes, I do, Xander. Honey, it happened to you but we're a part of each other now. If something happens to you it happens to me, also. Don't shut me out. You can't get any closer than us, Xander. Please, let me do this, honey"  
  
Xander sits down on the sofa. Buffy goes to Monica.  
  
"Monica, we'll go to his house. Thank you so much."  
  
They hug very warmly.  
  
Xander still does not want to lay this on Buffy but it seems like it is going to hurt her just as much if he shuts her out. He decides to trust her on this one.  
  
They go to Buffy's house first. Buffy tells her mother that she wants to spend the night with Xander because the boy is really having a rough time. Joyce doesn't argue. The fact of them spending the night together does bother her, though.  
  
While Buffy is upstairs getting some things Joyce decides to come right out and ask Xander something.  
  
"You're feeling really bad, Xander?"  
  
Xander always feels like a fool talking to Joyce because they can never tell her the truth.  
  
"Yes I am, Mrs. Summers. Buffy has agreed to help me."  
  
Joyce just comes out with it.  
  
"Are you going to sleep together tonight, Xander?"  
  
The boy almost falls off his chair.  
  
"Oh, Mrs. Summers…ah…we…"  
  
Buffy comes down just in time. They say so long to Joyce. They leave Buffy's house but Xander stops. He goes back in. He looks at Joyce.  
  
"We won't."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sleep together. We won't sleep together tonight."  
  
As Buffy opens the door to see what is keeping Xander she comes upon the embarrassing sight of them hugging, again.   
  
After walking awhile Buffy decides to probe the boy.  
  
"Why were you hugging my mother, again?"  
  
"It's a long story."  
  
She gives him a hard look. "One that you will definitely share when you're feeling better."  
  
They arrive at Xander's house. Buffy is very afraid. Xander has not allowed her to touch him. She wonders if her decision to face this with him might come back to haunt her.  
  
Despite her fear she is not going to let him down now.  
  
They are both sitting on the love seat, Xander gets up and moves to the couch. After a few deep sighs he looks the slayer straight in the eye.  
  
He tells her the story step by painful step. His clothes are soaked with sweat and he is shaking like a leaf in the wind. The tears are streaming down Buffy's face. She isn't even trying to stop them.  
  
Xander puts his head down sobbing. Buffy takes a chance going to him. She sits down beside him.  
  
When she tries to put her hand on Xander's back he recoils in horror.  
  
"Goddamn you, didn't I just tell you what you did to me! Get the hell away from me."  
  
Buffy stands up in shock. Xander goes toe to toe with her.  
  
"Was that the fucking game you were playing? Humor Xander for a few minutes then we can go back to as if nothing happened! I told you to get out of here!"  
  
It takes Buffy a moment to recover. "Stop this Xander."  
  
"Oh, what's the matter? Am I scaring the little slayer girl? I should have let your fucking Angel get you."  
  
This is really blowing Buffy away but she has to stay with it. She reaches down deep inside for the strength to stand up to him. She goes to him.  
  
"Look at me Xander! Look into my eyes."  
  
He turns his back on her. She follows him, forcing him to face her.  
  
"Let's stop fooling around. Drusilla tortured you, Xander, not me! You know that, too. That's not your Goddamn problem and you know it. Your problem is you found out how much you need me. You could hold it together even with the evil of your parents. But when you thought I turned on you it broke you."  
  
It is breaking her in two but she continues. "That's the problem. That's what scares the shit out of you. You had no idea you needed me like that. You knew you loved me and wanted me but you had no idea you needed me like that."  
  
Xander is really pissed off. He goes to her. "Who the hell do you think you are? I don't need anybody like that."  
  
"You're not getting out of this, Xander. Why does it scare you so bad to need me? I need you, Xander. Everybody knows it. When you're hurt or not around I can't function right. I'm not ashamed of it. Why are you?"  
  
Xander walks away from her. She follows him.  
  
"I get it. It's all right for me to have you as my weakness but not the great Xander Harris. He can't have a weakness."  
  
Xander grabs her roughly. "Shut up, Buffy!"  
  
"No, Xander, I won't. You need me, Xander, just as much as I need you."  
  
Xander pins Buffy against the wall. She doesn't back down. "Go ahead, Xander, hit me! Go ahead if it will make you feel better."  
  
He looks deep into her eyes. He could never do that. He breaks down. He goes back to the sofa. Buffy follows him. She puts her hand on his shoulder. He does not push it away. He starts to sob. He looks up at her.  
  
"Don't…don't you know…Buffy…if I need you like that…how much…how much danger it puts you in. I blew it, Buffy. I'm suppose to help you instead I set you up. I blew it.  
  
Buffy knew it. She knew it all had something to do with her. This boy is almost too much for her. In all the horror of everything that was done to him the thing that bothers him the most is how he might be endangering her.  
  
"Xander, you didn't blow anything you crazy fool."  
  
She hugs him. He collapses into her arms.   
  
"Buffy, don't you understand? They'll get you."  
  
"Xander, listen to me. I'm not making light of what you're saying. I can't help it, Xander. I know it's dangerous for us to love each other. Xander, we can't let them have everything. Do you think I want to stop loving you? Xander, do you remember when you told me that you understood why I had to love Angel because he was my only contact with goodness?"  
  
Xander nods. She continues. "Then why can't you understand why I have to love you and why you have to love me? Xander, I don't even know if what I had with Angel was love. But, I know I love you. I want you. I need you. You're my goodness, Xander. You have always been my goodness. Let me have it, Xander, please."  
  
Buffy allows what she said to sink in for a few minutes.   
  
"Buffy, what we have scares me half to death."  
  
"I know it does, Xander. But you have to let go of that. Let go of that fear."  
  
Buffy decides she has to lighten things up.  
  
"Besides, my oh so uptight boyfriend. You can't help yourself. No matter what you do you can't stop loving me. I've got you!  
  
She playfully grabs at his stomach.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I'm not going to stop until you tell me you love me and you can't help it."  
  
The slayer starts tickling him without mercy.  
  
"All right, all right, I can't help it." He looks up at the slayer.  
  
"We were having a serious conversation here, Buffy."  
  
"I know, but sometimes we just have to shut you down. You're mind goes crazy and we have to bring you back."  
  
"You don't want to hear it so you found a creative way to change the subject. Always the brat."  
  
She approaches him menacingly, again. "Don't you start, Xander."  
  
Xander wants no more of it. "Okay, okay, keep your hands to yourself."  
  
The slayer continues. "Now, are we finished with discussion number one million and six why it is bad for Xander to love Buffy? Can I expect a kiss anytime before Y2K messes up your computer brain?  
  
Xander has to laugh. They kiss passionately.  
  
When they break Buffy gets serious again.  
  
"Xander, I know what happened to you won't go away for a long, long time. Please promise me you won't shut me out. I can help Xander. I can be your help mate too, honey."  
  
"Thank you, Buffy. I love you and…I need you."  
  
"Xander, if there's one thing you could have said to me that would insure I wouldn't leave you for the next eight million years, it's that."  
  
"Wow, that's a long time."  
  
"Do you think you can stand to look at me for that long.  
  
He puts his fingers through her hair, brushing it toward her ears. "As long as I can do that."  
  
He gives her a most passionate kiss. "And that."  
  
"Well, I think that can be arranged. But, that's a long, long time, you know.  
  
"Then we better start taking it one day at a time. Maybe even one minute at a time."  
  
They start the journey, which normally ends in much bliss, but Xander stops.  
  
"What's the matter, honey, you're not up for it?"  
  
He just looks at her.  
  
"What's the matter, sweetie, we haven't been together in weeks. Things will start to drop off of us and stuff."  
  
"We can't Buffy. I told somebody we wouldn't."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I told somebody we wouldn't make love tonight."  
  
Buffy is puzzled. "What are you talking about, Xander, who did you tell?"  
  
"Your mother."  
  
"Say that, again."  
  
He falls back against the sofa. "Your mother, okay."  
  
Buffy shakes her head in disbelief. "I don't believe it. You told my mother you and I wouldn't make love tonight?"  
  
"Yea, when you went upstairs. She asked me…what could I say?"  
  
Buffy plops down beside him on the sofa. "Xander…you…I don't even know what to say. Is that what you went back in to tell her?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"And that's why you two were hugging?"  
  
He nods. "I don't know what to do with you Xander. You are, by far, the craziest boyfriend any girl could ever have. What am I going to do with you?"  
  
Xander gets very close to her. "We can cuddle. We only have like an hour until the night is over."  
  
"What?"  
  
"In an hour it will be after midnight. I didn't say anything about tomorrow morning."  
  
They both enjoy a very nice and cleansing laugh.  
  
Our heroes spend some time in quiet together. Their lives are impossible. The forces of evil are everywhere. They get periodic breaks to try to heal one another. This time it was Xander who almost broke. They can barely keep their heads above water.  
  


* * *

  
  
In a dark heavily guarded area somewhere in neighboring Nevada two men enter a small shed. Once in the shed they enter a small chamber. They are transported underground. Once underground they walk to a conference room where they join a group of six other people. One of the gentlemen begins to speak.  
  
"In a place called, Sunnydale, California there exists a phenomena which includes various forces of the so called underworld. They number among them beasts and daemons with superior strength and very little need for creature comforts. They have a penchant for destruction and mayhem but lack organization and proper worldview. In my opinion, gentleman, they would make the ideal small army for our more clandestine operations in California and elsewhere."  
  
One of the other men questions him.  
  
"What would it entail, Mr. Roberts, bribing, domesticating?"  
  
"In some cases one or both. In other cases we may just have to prove mutual benefit. We need to convinced them we have the best offer."  
  
The person who appears to be in charge speaks.  
  
"What would be our overhead, Mr. Roberts?"  
  
"Our main problem would seem to be a group of rag-tag do-gooders who appear to consider it their sacred duty to rid said place of all it's potential."  
  
"Can they be dealt with, Mr. Roberts?"  
  
"In one way or another, yes sir."  
  
"Do our options include extreme prejudice, Mr. Roberts?"  
  
"By all means, sir."  
  
"Alright, do the preliminary investigation. Come back in two months with names and faces. We will proceed on this with temporary approval. You may use whatever resources you deem necessary, Mr. Roberts."  
  
"Meeting adjourned!"   
**

* * *

Go on to Part Three 

* * *

  
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	23. Chapter 3

* * *

Part Three--A Very Nice Tail 

* * *

**Time heals Xander from his physical wounds. The emotional scars remain. You never fully recover from something like that. But, at least he is back to peak physical functioning. He is totally recovered from the shock that he needs Buffy as much as she needs him. If the slayer can live with it then so can he.  
  
Our heroes are chilling out at the Bronze. They are on the dance floor casually swaying to the music of a ballad. Buffy has something really important to ask Xander.  
  
"Xander, how much do you love me?"  
  
He doesn't answer. She pulls her head from his shoulder, making eye contact.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
"Yes, my sweet slayer?"  
  
"Aren't you going to answer me?"  
  
"Just ask me what you want to ask me, my darling. Don't try to trick me into whatever it is you want me to do."  
  
"That was a very long sentence, Xander."  
  
"Buffy, do you want to ask me something?"  
  
"Yes, but I'm afraid."  
  
"Out with it, Blondie."  
  
"My parents get together once a year, for my benefit mostly. They go to my daddy's beach house. Would...would you come with us, it's tomorrow?"  
  
"Oh, Buffy."  
  
"Please, honey." She fondles his face.  
  
"Okay, I'll go."  
  
"You will?"  
  
"Yea, I know how important your parents are to you."  
  
Buffy gets very nervous. "I have to tell you one more thing, sweetie. Ah…my daddy…he…he doesn't sort of like you."  
Xander laughs nervously. "Your daddy doesn't even know me, Buff."  
  
"Yes he does. My mother talks about you all the time. He thinks you're too irresponsible and crazy."  
  
"But, you still want me to face him?"  
  
"Well, honey, he's wrong…about the irresponsible part, anyway."  
  
Laughing, "I'll still go."  
  
"You are a really good boyfriend, Xander."  
  
After dancing a few minutes.  
  
"It doesn't sound right to call you my boyfriend. We're ten times more than boyfriend/girlfriend."  
  
"Well, there's a way we could be something else but you never want to discuss it."  
  
Buffy was grooving on the music. What he said didn't register at first. When it does.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
"I try never to repeat myself."  
  
"You bum!"  
  
After a few more minutes of dancing Xander stops. He gently grabs Buffy by the shoulders.  
  
"Buff, I love you. I'll do whatever you want me to do to announce it to the world, devils and daemons included."  
  
They kiss very passionately. Buffy has to comment.  
  
"Xander, we've been together for awhile now. How can your kisses still take my breath away? I still get chills when I hear your voice sometimes."  
  
"I have no idea, Buffy Anne Summers. Every day you are still in love with me is magic. I hope I never lose that perspective."  
  
They kiss again. Their love has deepened. It is now planted firmly with all the other great structures of our universe. It is battle tested, crises toughened and pleasantly contained within the very fabric of our world. It is a part of natural law, even. You can look it up!  
  
They put as much as they possibly can into the next few kisses. They leave the Bronze.  
They still have not had enough of each other. As they get to the point where they need to split up.  
  
"Remember, Xander, you can't be late. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
He gets her into a very heavy embrace. He puts even more into a second kiss. Buffy can't help herself.  
  
"Hell, the best way for me to make sure you get up in time is if I'm laying right beside you."  
  
They stroll toward Xander's house. Buffy stops. She stares at Xander.  
  
"Did you just seduce me to come home with you?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Oh, okay, I can get into that."  
  
"Oh, baby!!"  
  
And into that they do. Good night.  
  


* * *

  
  
The next morning Buffy wakes Xander. He is very nervous.  
  
"Are these pants okay, Buff?"  
  
"My father won't even notice your pants."  
  
"Do we want him to notice? Okay, worse case scenario is he kicks me out of his house. No, worse case scenario, how about if he tells me never to look at you, again?"  
  
Buffy kisses him. "My father lives all the way in LA"  
  
"Yea, but it's only a short plane ride."  
  
"Xander, calm down. We're not going to face a daemon. My daddy is a very calm, rational man."  
  
"Does he know what I've done to you?"  
  
"What, that I'm pregnant?"  
  
"He knows you're pregnant? Holy shit…wait a minute!"  
  
Buffy starts laughing. He grabs her.  
"Are you trying to be funny?"  
  
"Honey…"  
  
"We should have never slept together. Oh, my God, what if he asks where you slept last night? Why did you stay here?"  
  
Very sheepishly, "Because you seduced me. You wouldn't let me go home to my mommy."  
  
"You're no help at all."  
  
"Xander, I love you. That love is not up for approval today."  
  
The slayer embraces the boy very passionately.  
  
"Okay, I believe you. Are we ready?"  
  
"Yes, I packed for both of us."  
  
"Well, at least you can do something domestic. You can't cook but at least you're of some use."  
  
"Don't push it, lover, you know I haven't decided whether you're actually good enough to patrol with me. I can still pull rank."  
  
"Let's go slayer…Wait a minute. Your father doesn't have like a pet name for you, does he?"  
  
"I'm his pumpkin."  
  
"Oh, no."  
  
They go to Buffy's house. Joyce hugs him. She notices his discomfort.  
  
"Xander, you're very nervous, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes, very nervous. Buffy is his Pumpkin. I don't even like pie."  
  
Buffy and Joyce enjoy a good laugh.   
  
Joyce has to comment; "I've never seen you like this before, Xander."  
  
"I don't like this side of me, either."  
  
They drive to the beach house. Buffy hugs her dad. Joyce does, too."  
  
Xander notices the genuine affection between them.  
  
Buffy grabs Xander's hand. "Dad, this is Xander."  
  
Hank shakes his hand. A little too long for Xander's liking. Her dad looks right through him. It's going to be a rough two days.  
  
They get settled. Buffy and Joyce make lunch. That leaves Xander with Mr. Summers. It doesn't take long for the interrogation to begin.  
  
"Xander, you were friends with my daughter first before you started going together?"  
  
"Yes, the three of us, Buffy, Willow Rosenberg and myself were friends together."  
  
"But then you started to notice her in a different way?"  
  
"No, actually I noticed her from the beginning but she didn't notice me."  
  
"Well, I thank you for your honesty. But your vigilance finally paid off?"  
  
"It was a long process."  
  
"I'm sure you know how much I care for her, Xander. I'd like to think I have a say in her future."  
  
"Of course, sir."  
  
"What do you have to say about her future…and yours?"  
  
"I'm sure your wife told you about my parents. They left me a sizable chunk of money. I wish I didn't have it, of course, but it's there."  
  
"I'm sorry about your parents, Xander. It must have been terrifying."  
  
"It still is sometimes but your daughter helps."  
  
"Xander, I'm sorry, but your relationship with Buffy confuses me. It doesn't make any sense. Joyce makes it sound as if it's this life long commitment. You're both too young for that."  
  
Xander can see this is not going in a good direction. Hank continues.  
  
"Buffy barely makes it in school as it is. She's scattered all over the place. She's depressed most of the time. With your troubles, Xander, I don't see it heading anywhere but to disaster for both of you. My daughter has shown herself to be emotionally unstable. I hardly think you could be in much better shape."  
Xander is frustrated. He doesn't know what to say. Actually, he can't say anything.  
  
Hank looks at him with compassion. "Xander, please tell me I'm wrong. I'll listen to anything you have to say."  
  
Xander is very nervous. "Sir, everything you said is very heavy. I'll need time to think of how to answer you. I promise I'll get back to you. I would like to talk to your daughter about it."  
  
"Okay, then I might as well finish. If you can't answer my questions I can't possibly give your relationship my blessing."  
  
Xander is really upset. Hank is not being unreasonable. Everything he said was true. If Xander can't tell him anything about his daughter's peculiar profession then he has nothing to say. The man is right!  
  
When Buffy and Joyce come back with lunch they see something major has taken place. Buffy can see that Xander is really bothered. Lunch is very quick. Xander looks at Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, could we take a walk on the beach?"  
  
"Okay, Xander, could you meet me down there?"  
  
Xander excuses himself. Buffy turns to her father.  
  
"Daddy, what did you say to him. I love him you know? It's not a school girl crush. He's it; he's the one. My search is over. He's the only one who can make sense out of my life."  
  
She storms away to join Xander. Joyce looks at Hank.  
  
"What did you say to him, Hank?"  
  
"I just asked him some questions about he and Buffy. He said he would get back to me as soon as he talked to Buffy."  
  
"You know, she has never been happier, Hank."  
  
"I just want to hear what he has to say, Joyce. You know we split up over what was going on in Buffy's life. I still have to make sure she has a chance for happiness. She has been so sad and upset these last few years."  
  
Joyce and Hank watch our two heroes stroll on the beach.  
  
Buffy has caught up to Xander.  
  
"You're too serious, Xander. What could my father have possibly said to get you into your super serious mood?"  
  
"Do you really want to know what horrible, horrible things your father said to me?"  
  
"Yes, I told him the way things are between us. I told him…"  
  
"Stop it Buffy."  
  
They walk in silence a few minutes.  
  
"Your father wanted to know what kind of future we envisioned together? He wanted to know how an obviously unstable girl like yourself could possibly find happiness with an equally troubled person like me?"  
  
Xander is staring at Buffy who is becoming quite agitated. They stop walking as Xander continues.  
  
"Then he asked, how could two misfits like us possibly be anything else but a disaster together?"  
  
"And, of course, you took what he said seriously?"  
  
He grabs Buffy's shoulders. "Don't go there, Buffy."  
  
She shakes his hands off. "Here we go again. Anytime anybody brings up anything about us, anything at all, you take it to heart."  
  
"Do you want to split up, Xander? Is that what this is all about? You don't have the guts to just do it!"   
  
Buffy begins to eye the ring on her finger. Xander reacts  
  
"Don't you dare touch that ring! This is not about us splitting up. Those people up there are your parents. If you'd lost them you would know how important they are. They sweat through hell trying to figure you out. They have a completely false picture of you."  
  
Buffy is really paying attention but suddenly gets very nervous as he continues.  
  
"They know nothing about you. I can't answer any of your father's questions. You know why?"  
  
Buffy starts to walk away. Xander stops her.  
  
"I can't answer your fathers questions about us because he doesn't even know who we are. Neither one of them have any idea who you are."  
"You think I don't know that, Xander? This isn't news. Where have you been?"  
  
"You're too much, Buffy!" Xander storms away from her.  
  
Buffy's mom and dad are still watching them. Hank comments.  
  
"They certainly have heated arguments, don't they?"  
  
"So it would appear. Whatever you said, he is certainly taking it seriously."  
  
Buffy catches up to Xander.  
  
"What is the point here, Xander?"  
  
"Did you ever think of telling them?"  
  
Buffy is incredulous. "Yea, sure!"  
  
"I'm serious, Buffy."  
  
Very disgustedly, "I can't tell them. You know that."  
  
She starts to walk away from him but he grabs her arm.  
  
"You can't tell them because the watcher's council says slayers never tell their parents? I wonder if Mr. Howard came up with that one?"  
  
Buffy is very nervous. "I guess. Giles says it's forbidden."  
  
"I'm completely serious, Buffy, this is bullshit!"  
  
Buffy gets a major knot in her stomach. Tears come to her eyes.  
  
"Stop it, Xander. You are really scaring me, now."  
  
Xander hugs her. "This is ridiculous. It bothered you when your dad moved out. It still bothers you. You've been going through this suffering and putting them through hell for nothing."  
  
Buffy has her head down. Xander looks into her eyes.  
  
"You have to last, honey. You need them. Do you know they split up because of this?"  
  
Buffy stares at Xander before answering.  
  
"Is this more of your master plan? Part of your big picture so we can grow old together?"  
"Yes it is, Buffy. Your whole family thing tears you up and you know it."  
  
"But what about Giles?"  
  
Xander grabs her by the shoulders. "If I can get Giles to agree will you do it?"  
  
"He'll never…"  
  
"Answer me."  
  
Buffy is fully in tears now. "Okay…okay!"  
  
They walk back to the house. Buffy is crying heavily. She goes right to her room. Xander approaches Mr. Summers.  
  
"Mr. Summers, could I use the phone to call back to Sunnydale?"  
  
"Sure, is everything all right?"  
  
"Not at the moment but it might be."  
  
Xander goes into the house to use the phone.  
  
Hank has his eyebrows raised. Joyce comments.  
  
"I told you he was exciting, Hank."  
  
"I can't wait to see what he does next."  
  
Xander gets Giles on the phone.  
  
"Is Rebecca there, Giles?"  
  
"Yes, she is."  
  
"Could you put it on speaker phone?" He does.  
  
"I'm here with Buffy at her parents resort house."  
  
"How are things going?"  
  
"Couldn't be worse, G-man."  
  
"Explain, Xander."  
  
"I'm here with Buffy the vampire slayer. You know the woman I was made to love. Mr. Summers is asking me some very "giving up his daughter's hand" type questions. He wants to know how his emotionally unstable daughter, Buffy Summers, and the equally unstable, Xander Harris, could ever make it together?"  
  
Rebecca can already guess what he wants to do.  
  
"These are her parents, Giles, my future in-laws. I can't have a talk with them. I can't have a reasonable discussion with my father-in-law. Therefore, he wants me to leave his daughter alone. You know what, Giles? Based on the information he has he would have to be a pretty lousy father to let his daughter take up with me."  
  
He pauses before he says the next part.  
  
"Do you see anyway out of this mess, Giles?"  
  
"Xander, both you and Buffy know the stakes involved with her profession."  
  
"I want to tell them, Giles."  
  
"Absolutely not! Out of the question, Xander. You two bend, hell you break most of the rules now. But, you can't change this one."  
  
"Giles, did Mr. Howard come up with this rule? G-man, I'm a little mad at you. Did you know her parents broke up because of the disagreements over their juvenile delinquent daughter? That's cruel, Giles. That tears Buffy up. It makes her weak. You know she needs all the strength she can get. She needs the support of these two loving people in her life."  
  
Giles doesn't answer.  
  
"Are you still there, Giles?"  
  
"Yes, Xander, I'm still here."  
  
"What does Rebecca think?"  
  
"She's too busy crying."  
  
"This will help her last, Giles. I want us to grow old together."  
  
"The two of you will drive me crazy, Xander…but, I do have to say you have a point. I actually do trust you when it comes to Buffy's welfare."  
  
Xander is very excited.  
  
"Hold on, Giles, let me get her."  
He gets her. "Speak, oh great watcher person."  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Yes, Giles?"  
  
"After much debate and thought…we have decided it is okay to tell your parents of your vocation."  
  
Buffy is stunned. Xander answers for the both of them.  
  
"Oh, thank you, oh thank you, Giles. And, Rebecca, thanks for the tears. I could feel them melting his library card, I mean heart."  
  
Both Rebecca and Giles laugh.   
  
"See you later, old folks. No offense to you, Rebecca." They hang up.  
  
Xander begins to laugh. Buffy is as white as a ghost. She looks at the boy.  
  
"You won't laugh so hard when I tell you that you get to tell them."  
  
"Yea, sure."  
  
Xander sees the resolve on her face.  
  
"You're serious, aren't you? No way, slayer!"  
  
"Yep, you have to tell them. Your idea, you have to tell them." She fingers her ring.  
  
"That's part of what this ring means."  
  
"You chicken. The great vampire slayer, chicken to the core."  
  
"You can cut me up as much as you want but I was never more serious in my whole life. Go tell them!"  
  
Buffy runs to her room, locking the door behind her. Xander runs after her.  
  
"You come out of there right now, Buffy Anne Summers!"  
  
"Xander, you are raising your voice. My daddy will hear that and think you are yelling at his pumpkin, which you are doing!"  
  
Xander pleads with her. "Buffy, this is ridiculous."  
  
Hank asks Joyce. "What's going on now?"  
  
"She locked herself in her room and he's telling her to come out."  
  
Buffy is taking a hard stance.  
  
"I'm not coming out, Xander. If you're my boyfriend you'll tell them."  
  
"This isn't a boyfriend/girlfriend thing."  
  
"It's a husband/wife thing. I'm looking at the ring."  
  
"I like what you do with the ring. Sometimes it's "my" ring. Sometimes it's "your" ring and sometimes its "the" ring depending on what you want from me."  
  
"This is your kind of thing, Xander, now go do it and get it over with."  
  
He mumbles to himself. "My kind of thing. What the hell does that mean?"  
  
"Just get out there and do it, Xander!"  
  
"You owe me big time for this."  
  
Buffy really didn't think he would do it. "You're going to do this?"  
  
"Dues, I have to pay dues to be with Hank's little pumpkin."  
  
"You better not let my daddy hear you say that."  
  
Xander decides to do it. He goes back to the sundeck. Joyce and Hank are still there.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Summers, first of all, the reason I have to tell you what I am going to tell you is because your daughter is a chicken. Do you guys have anything to drink? Hard stuff like whiskey?"  
  
Joyce answers. "Yes, we do."  
  
"You might want to have some when I tell you this."  
  
Joyce and Hank look at each other. Joyce gets them all a double whiskey.  
  
Xander takes a big gulp. He begins.  
  
"I know you've had lots and lots of trouble with Buffy. In fact you think she is completely irresponsible and depressed and…"  
  
Joyce interrupts. "Move on, Xander, we get it."  
  
"I'm sorry. Joyce, as we know, we live in Sunnydale. We'll, another name for it is the Hellmouth. It's called that because there are all kinds of otherworldly things going on there. Joyce, I'm sure you've experienced many things you just couldn't explain. Mr. Summers, I'm sure there are many things that Joyce has tried to explain to you that were very weird. And, I'm sure you have had many arguments about Buffy's strange behavior."  
  
Joyce and Hank are transfixed. Xander is explaining their whole relationship with Buffy and with each other for the past three years.  
  
Xander drinks his whiskey. "Now this next part is why you will need the Whiskey.  
  
Xander takes a deep breath. "Into every generation there is born one girl whose job it is to be in the forefront in the battle against evil."  
  
Hank and Joyce get another drink. They put one beside Xander as he continues.  
  
"To you your daughter is Buffy Summers, troubled teen who has a thing for burning down schools and sneaking out at night. She is distant and sullen and angry most of the time. You probably feel you don't know anything about her."  
  
He downs his second drink and picks up the third.  
  
"That's because your daughter is also known as; Buffy The Vampire Slayer."  
  
The boy allows that to sink in for a moment. Then he continues.  
  
"She has been the slayer for three years now. Mr. Summers this is probably harder for you to understand than for Joyce. Joyce, I think you have had suspicions that things are not as they appear."  
  
Joyce and Hank are looking at one another. They have had many a bad time over this.  
  
"You don't look like you think I'm crazy. Have you known that your daughter is different? I mean very different?"  
  
Joyce speaks up. "There were just so many things I couldn't explain. Hank and I…" She starts crying."  
  
Hank has to ask. "What does this mean, vampire slayer?"  
  
  
"It's going to sound weird. Everything I tell you is going to sound bizarre. On most nights we patrol. This means we roam the cemetery and other places for newly created vampires. When we find them your daughter stakes them in the heart. They normally explode to ashes. There are also super vampires who constantly try to terrorize us,"  
  
Hank recovers from the shock to ask a question. "Where do you come in, Xander?"  
  
"I fell in love with your daughter a long time ago. I was really blown away by her beauty, of course, but also by this tremendous burden she has to carry on her shoulders."  
  
He takes another slug of his drink before continuing.  
  
"I knew I had to try to protect her but it was a joke most of the time. With this chosen one thing comes increased strength and power. She had to protect me most of the time."  
  
Buffy's parents are spellbound. They didn't even know their daughter. Joyce has a question.  
  
"Who's Angel?"  
  
"He was a 247 year old vampire with a soul. Your daughter was in love with him or, at least she thought she was. He lost his soul. This turned him back into his evil alter self, Angelus. I believe you had some scary interactions with him Joyce?"  
  
"Yes, I did. I had no idea he was evil."  
  
"He killed Jenny Calendar. He also killed my mother and father and turned them into vampires."  
  
Hank speaks. "That's how your parents died, they were murdered? I'm sorry, Xander. Is he gone, now?"  
  
"Yes, finally."  
  
Joyce is curious. "Can I ask what happened to him?"  
  
"This is going to sound very harsh. I had to kill him."  
  
"You killed him? Are you a vampire slayer, too?"  
  
"Yes, but I'm not the same thing as Buffy. She's the only slayer."  
  
He takes another sip of his drink.  
  
"Buffy has a person who looks after her. He's sort of our boss."  
  
Joyce interrupts. "Rupert Giles, right?"  
  
Xander nods. "Buffy trains with him. I train with a woman named Rebecca. Most of the others train with her too."  
  
"The others?"  
  
"Yes, Willow, Cordelia, Oz, six or seven others."  
  
"Willow Rosenberg?"  
  
"Yea, I know, kind of hard to believe."  
  
Hank gets up. "All this is very hard to believe, Xander. So what do you do?"  
  
"Well, I help Buffy, mostly. Sometimes I have things after me, same as Buffy."  
  
Joyce is filled with questions. "Those times you were in the hospital. It was because you were attacked?"  
  
"Beaten up or tortured or stabbed, kicked, punched."  
  
"And all this is because our daughter is the vampire slayer?"  
  
Joyce interrupts. "And Xander is her White Knight."  
  
No one really notices Buffy come. She immediately comments. "He's that and more, dad. Just about everything that happens to him happens because of me."  
  
She continues as her father stares wide-eyed. "If he wasn't around I wouldn't be around. He has saved me more times than I can count."  
  
Xander brings the attention back to Buffy. "But, this is about your daughter. She has a responsibility on her shoulders like nobody else in the world. She is brave and courageous. And, despite what she faces every night, she is loving and kind and gentle. And, she still loves you guys very much."  
  
Joyce and Hank are both crying. Buffy joins them in a hug. Xander misses his own family even though they were nothing like the Summers. He gets up to take a walk on the beach.  
  
Hank and Joyce have a million questions for Buffy. Joyce starts.  
  
"Honey, why didn't you ever tell us?"  
  
Through tears. "It's so dangerous, Mom. The more you know the more dangerous it is. Everybody gets hurt all the time. I didn't want to endanger you. I didn't want you guys to be like Xander's…"  
  
Hank interrupts. "Xander told us his parents were killed by Angel."  
  
"Not only that, daddy, they were changed into vampires."  
  
"You mean every time he goes up against the vampires he has to face his parents?"  
  
"Well, actually, they're his step parents but, they're the only parents he's ever known."  
  
Joyce continues. "Buffy, how does he…how can he take it?"  
  
Hank answers. "It's because of your love for him, isn't it? That's what he lives for. I saw it when I was talking to him. Whenever he said anything about you. Whenever he sees you his face just lights up. He loves you from the bottom of his heart, doesn't he?"  
  
Buffy, in total tears. "Yes, daddy, he does."  
  
"Our little daughter is not only the savior of the world but her love has brought this boy a new life."  
  
Joyce chimes in. "Buffy, you're a wonderful daughter."  
  
"I know I've caused you guys so much pain by not telling you."  
  
Hank shakes his head as he looks at Joyce. "More than you even know, pumpkin. We…we almost destroyed each other worrying about you."  
  
Joyce is crying again as she exchanges glances with Hank. "Oh, sweetie, this explains so much. I…I blamed your dad for so much that was happening to you. Hank…I'm so sorry!"  
  
Hank is also in tears as he talks. "I thought…I thought if I left it would…it would help."  
  
Buffy looks back and forth between them. "You both did a great job."  
  
Hank continues. "Buffy, you just took the weight of the world off my back, or I should say your Xander did."  
  
Joyce reaches over, grabbing Hank's hand. "Off our backs, Hank, off our backs."  
  
Hank stares at his wife. All of a sudden their irreconcilable difference don't look so formidable.  
  
Buffy feels really good. "I suddenly feel much lighter, too."  
  
She looks to the beach where Xander is mulling about.  
  
"I have to go see Xander." She runs down to him. Her happiness is tempered by his sadness.  
  
"I am so sorry about your mother and father, Xander."  
  
"I know you are, honey." They hug. "Go back up with your family. This is really an important time for you. I'll be up a little later." He smiles sweetly at her.  
  
Buffy goes back up to her parents. They look at Xander for a moment. Buffy shares.  
  
"While his parents were alive I had a chance to kill Angelus but I couldn't do it."  
  
"Why?   
  
"Because if I killed Angelus I also killed Angel."  
  
"Whom you were in love with?"  
  
She nods. "After he changed Xander had a chance to kill him, too, but he didn't. One of his many friends had a spell to bring him back."  
  
Hank can't believe it. "Wait a minute. Xander helped to get the person back who was his chief rival for you?"  
  
Joyce adds. "And someone who had killed his mother and father?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Why, Buffy?"  
  
"Because he wanted me to see that it was not Angel in my heart but him."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"It back fired. Another one of the super vamps, Drusilla, had a counter spell. Willow and I were hypnotized to do Angelus's bidding."  
  
Tears come to her eyes. "I…I tried to kill Xander with a sword. Then after Xander killed Angelus I tried to kill him again."  
  
The slayer breaks down. Joyce comforts her. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."  
  
Hank is incredulous. "Buffy, how did he get over that?"  
  
"It's a long, long story, dad. For awhile…for a while he couldn't even look at me. But then he just beat it. It was the happiest day of his life."  
  
Joyce can't believe it. "Buffy, is this what you meant when you said I didn't know how special Xander really is?"   
  
"Mom, we could talk for hours about stuff he does for me. I don't understand it most of the time. Believe me, there are women all around him who could take care of him better and offer him more comfort. I always think he's going to wake up one day and…and…"  
  
Joyce interrupts. "He doesn't love anybody else, honey, he loves you." She looks at Hank before continuing. "When you love somebody it doesn't make any sense. Even when you have big problems the love doesn't go away."  
  
Hank can't help it. He starts to tear up when he realizes Joyce is talking about their love as well as Buffy and Xanders.  
  
Hank sniffs back his tears. "Buffy, if you guys are battling vampires and monsters all the time, how come we never hear about it?"  
  
"Maybe you have. Do you remember it being in the paper about a big drug lord who had a fortress on the coast? He was killed by unknown assailants?"  
  
"You can't mean the weird guy who practically ran the valley?"  
  
"Meet two of the unknown assailants."  
  
"Honey, that's impossible. That was the big time. He was in power for over fifty years. The government couldn't even touch him!"  
  
"He was a daemon, dad. His name was Malcolm. Xander killed one of his pet monsters. He sent a hoard of assassins after him. This is another time I almost got Xander killed. We couldn't be together. They were following me. You know Xander couldn't have that. So he came up with this plan to take him out. It worked."  
  
"Buffy, who are you guys? How could you take down a big drug lord like him?"  
  
"Xander's vampire friend, who is totally in love with him by the way, got us in. Her reflection doesn't show on a video screen."  
  
Joyce comments. "Of course."  
  
"At first Xander was going to die to save me."  
  
"But, you nixed that, right?"  
  
"Right. So then we both went after him. We chased him down a tunnel. Giles and Cordelia finished him off."  
"You guys are too much. Xander came up with this whole plan so you guys wouldn't have to love in the shadows?"  
  
"Yes, and because Malcolm was going to join the new Master and open up the Hellmouth but, that's a different story."  
  
Hank has to get another drink.  
  
"To sum this all up. You are in constant danger because of who you are but by some unbelievable stroke of fate you have a white knight who follows you around trying to protect your life and make it easier for you?"  
  
Buffy nods. "Honey, you better frame him, somehow."  
  
The slayer admits her insecurity. "I'm constantly afraid of losing him."  
  
"So am I, now. Tell him he passes any possible test I could have for him. I feel stupid even bringing it up."  
  
Joyce has a question. "What about him, Buffy? What are his needs? Is he in as much danger as you?"  
  
"There isn't a daemon in Hellmouth or anywhere else that doesn't want him dead."  
  
"How does he survive?" **

"With all his friends. That vampire, Rachel, she has saved his life a few times. He has all sorts of friends." 

Paul has a different opinion. "It's not them, Buffy, it's you. He survives because you love him. You are his motivation, honey." 

"I know that, daddy." 

"Can I ask you one more question? She nods. "Xander made you tell us, didn't he?" 

"Yes, daddy, he did." 

"So he isn't somebody who just worships the ground you walk on and never says a harsh word to you?" 

"Wrong guy, dad. He makes me do all kinds of things. He gets ridiculous. Anytime we kiss or anything he thinks I'm going to get too weak to fight the daemons." 

Joyce smiles. She has to ask. "Do you?" 

Buffy rolls her eyes. "I can barely walk." They both laugh. 

Hank still can't believe this. "Wow, what a weekend so far. Well, what do we do, Buffy?" 

"Dad, I'm sure Xander has thought about this by now. I'll let him tell you. But, I really need you guys…alive. Just please listen to whatever Xander has to say. He'll probably call Giles first." 

"Your watcher, right? Xander told us about him." 

She nods. "Honey, you really trust Xander, don't you?" 

"Totally. He knows what he is doing. He drives me crazy but he knows what he is doing." 

Hank has great idea. "You know what I think he needs…a good drunk." 

Joyce talks to Buffy. "Why don't you go down to him, honey. Hug him or something." 

Buffy runs down to Xander. She is bursting with emotion but Xander has his serious face on. She looks at him. 

"I already know what you're going to say. We just put them in danger, which puts me in danger. I already have them ready for your responsibility talk. But, lets have some normal time, first, okay?" 

"Will I get to see you in a bathing suit?" 

"Maybe, if your lucky." 

Xander grabs her. "Remember, my daddy is watching you." 

He lets her go. "That's right, I have to be nice to you." 

Buffy stares at her parents who are sitting rather lovey-dovey. 

"Xander, everything you do still blows my mind. If my parents get back together because of this…because of you." 

"A little too much for you to handle, princess?" Xander begins to fondle her neck. She still looks at her parents. 

"Well, if you're going to reject me." 

Xander starts to walk down the beach. 

"Linda, Stacey, anybody want me?" 

When Buffy hears him yelling, she runs to him. "Will you shut up? My parents will think you're cheating on me." 

"Go get your bathing suit on, now." 

They run back to the house. Buffy goes to change. Xander wore his bathing suit. Joyce and Hank stare at Xander. 

"Did I do anything wrong?" 

Joyce gives him a quick hug. "No Xander. We…we don't know what to say to you." 

"Do you want to know anything else about us? I mean about Buffy?" 

Paul is curious. "Xander, we heard all about what you do for Buffy. What does she do for you, exactly? What's her part of the give and take bargain?" 

"She loves me. I mean, she really does. She needs me. I'm way down deep with her. That's all I ever wanted since I met her. Half the time I can't believe it." 

"What about all the pain in your life, Xander?" 

"When she started loving me the pain got better. It's really a tough business we're in. Buffy is the light. She's the whole thing. Don't listen to her if she tells you she doesn't know what she does for me. All she has to be is herself." 

Buffy comes down in her bathing suit. Xander is definitely moved. 

"Wow…this helps too, of course." 

Hank and Joyce laugh. Buffy starts to run. Xander catches up with her. 

Buffy turns to him. "You shouldn't look at me like that in front of my parents. It's embarrassing." 

"I'm sorry. I've never seen you in a bathing suit before." 

"What's the big deal?" She runs away from him. They romp into the water. 

They have a really good time. Xander can't help it. He starts to nibble on Buffy's back. 

"Arggg! Daddy, daddy!" 

"Will you be quiet?" 

"My daddy will save me from you." 

"He told me to take you. He said to make a pie out of you." 

For the next two days they swim and eat and dance and have fun. When it is almost time to go home Buffy asks Xander to really read Hank and Joyce the riot act. Buffy is afraid that they will openly try to help which would be disastrous. They gather on the sun deck. 

"What we have done this weekend is endanger your life and Buffy's life." 

They are shocked at this. They pay strict attention. 

"There is no limit to the terror of these daemons. A short time ago they captured me. Both my mother and my father cut me and burned me and sucked on me. One of the other vamps drugged me to think she was Buffy. She tortured me for hours. They were trying to kill my love for Buffy, to get me to hate her and fear her. They did this to try to weaken her. If they can weaken her they can kill her." 

Both Buffy's parents have their mouths open as he continues. 

"They will not go after you if you stay out of it. You can still help but not openly. That would be so bad for Buffy. Even our love." He looks at Buffy. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. He continues. 

"She doesn't like it but she can't get all weak kneed and still be strong. If it interferes with her safety…" 

Buffy interrupts. "Move on, Xander." 

"My agenda is to try to help Buffy and make it easier for her." 

Buffy has to comment. "What he really means is he dives in front of me everytime I get attacked. That's why he's in the hospital all the time." 

"Yea, whatever. Buffy is the main player. The rest of us are just helpers. I just ask you. Please stay cool, calm and cool. We'll make sure you'll always know what's going on." 

Joyce and Hank look at each other. Joyce reacts first. 

"Xander, you really do know what you're doing, don't you?" 

"Just barely." 

Paul adds. "That was some speech, son. You have us convinced. We'll do what you say. You can use this beach house anytime you like. You can use the cars, any money we have. I would like to make an announcement about something else that has happened this weekend. I'm going to be moving to Sunnydale. Joyce and I are going to see if we can get our marriage back together." 

Buffy starts crying. Joyce and Hank hug. 

Hank is going to make arrangements to transfer his work to a location closer to Sunnydale. His business is flexible. He can even work out of the house. With his added income Joyce can sink more money into her business. They see their role as one of providing a secure base for Buffy and, for Xander if he wants it. 

It sure was one hell of a weekend. Even in Sunnydale some things can turn out good! 

* * *

Go on to Part Four 

* * *

  
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	24. Chapter 4-5

* * *

Part Four--Damn Civilians! 

* * *

**AUTHOR"S NOTE: This chapter contains a retelling of an episode of the second season. I have forgotten the name of the episode. [Archivist's Note: It's 'Lie to Me'] **

When they get back from the beach house Buffy and Xander sit on his porch. As Buffy recalls the events of the weekend she starts to cry. She has to get up. Xander goes to her. He tries to touch her. 

"Don't touch me right now, Xander." He just stares. 

"Did I do something wrong, Buffy?" 

"Yea, sure…Xander, I never got use to my parents separation. It was bad, really bad. It use to be so warm and cozy with the both of them. When my dad left…But now I don't have to get use to it. The pain is over. It's going to be warm and cozy again. And…you did it." 

He tries to touch her again. "Please, Xander, don't touch me." 

"What's wrong here. Something good happens. You say I did it but I can't touch you?" 

"Xander, will you be quiet." She buries her head in his chest. After a few minutes she breaks. She looks at him. 

"I don't want to talk about it again, okay?" 

"Okay, we won't." He shakes his head, knowing he missed the whole thing. 

Willow comes up to them. "Hey guys. How did the weekend go?" 

Xander answers. "We're not allowed to talk about it." 

Buffy looks at Willow. "I'll tell you later, Will." 

"Could I talk to you alone, Buffy?" 

They both look at Xander. 

"I get it. This is my cue to go in." He leaves. 

"How was the weekend, Buff?" 

"More Xander magic." 

"Speaking of Xander, guess who's in town?" 

"Daemon or other?" 

"Well, Xander might think he's a daemon. It's your old flame from Hemery." 

"Pike?" 

"Yep. And, he wants to see you, of course. 

"Oh, that does hurt. He's the only one who stood by me even after he learned my little secret. Willow, what do you think the chances are that Xander will go for my little reunion?" 

"Come on, Buffy, he's paranoid even when there isn't somebody out to steal you. Haven't you ever wondered why nobody comes on to you any more?" 

"Yea, you know, boys use to look at me all the time, even with my reputation….all that stopped." 

"Hard Xander made the rules." 

"That bum! All the girls and women he has chasing him. And, I'm nothing but nice to all of them." 

Willow rolls her eyes. "Don't get ridiculous, Buffy." 

"What, I'm nice." Willow stares at her. "Well, sometimes I am." 

"Buffy, everybody knows they take their life in their hands just talking to Xander." 

"It doesn't seem to stop them." 

"That's because he's so cute and so…" 

"Willow!" The redhead laughs. Buffy stares at her for a moment. 

"You are over Xander, aren't you?" 

"Yes, Buffy, I'm only kidding. I have my own sweetie pie." 

"Anyway, if Xander can have groupies then I can go see an old friend." 

"Good luck telling hard ass that. Pike said he would be at the Bronze tonight." 

Willow leaves. 

Buffy goes back to Xander. She sits on her hands next to him on the sofa. 

"What did Willow want?" 

"Xander, you know I can barely remember anything pre-Xander? He nods. 

But, actually…there was a pre-Xander. Not an exciting pre-Xander…or a …soul mate pre-Xander but…you know…right?" 

"Out with it, blondie." 

"Pike is here." Nothing registers. "You know, my old school? The one person who didn't shun me?" 

"Oh, that Pike." 

"Yes." She waits to see his reaction. He briefly goes into the next room. He comes back. 

"Where is he?" 

"He's going to be at the Bronze tonight." 

Xander slides a stake down from his sleeve. Buffy sees it. 

"Xander!" 

"I'm sorry, I have to kill him. That's my new way to handle the competition. It's direct. It's clear." 

"Yea, that's not too far from the truth, is it?" 

"What?" 

"Willow told me. You have an unwritten rule for all the males of Sunnydale. Nobody is even allowed to look at me." 

Xander is embarrassed. "Well…I'm flexible. They can pass you." 

"Please get serious, Xander." 

"Okay, he can walk with you, talk with you, even laugh over old times. But, no touching, no kissing and no him being adopted by your parents. They're my adopted parents." 

"You're a maniac. Okay, I'm going to see him, probably dance a little, talk over the old days." 

"All right, honey, I'll get serious. He accepted you. That makes him a brother. His memory is a good one for you. If he's here for good see if he wants to help. I guess we are getting a little lopsided on the women side." 

"I'm glad you finally noticed that. Thanks, Xander." 

"Just like always, Buff, be careful. Just one thing. Do you want me around?" 

"Well…" 

"Okay, I'll visit Rebecca and Giles." 

"Xand, it's not that we're going to be doing anything…it's just…well Pike is a real nice guy. He isn't exactly aggressive. If you look at him like I know you would…" 

"Hey, remember, I use to be a nice guy, too." 

She kisses him on the cheek. "You're still nice, honey. It's just you're only nice to me."

* * *

Xander is without his main squeeze tonight so he is….well, actually he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't particularly like research mode but he decides to see how the smart half of the Scooby gang is doing. 

He goes to the library. As he arrives Giles and Rebecca are leaving. "Hey, G-man, Out of the goodness of my heart I've come to do some research." 

Rebecca looks at him. "Buffy is with her old friend, huh?" 

"How come everybody always knows everything?" 

"Willow stopped by." 

"We will be back in a little while, Xander. Make yourself uncomfortable." 

Rebecca looks at Giles. "Why, Rupert, you made a joke." 

"Yes, well I've been known to do so on occasion." 

They leave. Xander just sits, bored out of his mind. In a few minutes somebody emerges from the stacks. It is Monica. Xander did not want to face her right now. He really feels uncomfortable around her, especially since his torture incident. 

Monica doesn't see him at first. "Giles, it says here…oh, hi Xander. Did Giles leave?" 

Very uncomfortable. "Yea…he…they'll be right back." Monica comes to sit down beside him. "How was it with Buffy's parents?" 

"Oh…ah…okay." 

"I understand you told them?" 

"Yea…listen, Monica, I…I have to go." 

He starts to leave but Monica questions him. "Xander?" 

He sighs. "What, Monica?" 

"What are you doing?" 

"I have to go." 

"No you don't and you know it." Xander freezes for a moment. Monica goes to him. 

"Xander, what's going on?" 

Xander stands there with his eyes closed. 

"Will you turn around and face me, Xander." 

He does. "Can you come here and sit down and talk to me, please?" 

He slumps down in the chair. 

"What's the matter, Xander?" 

"I'm confused when I look at you, okay!" 

"Don't you think I feel the same way, Xander?" 

"You don't have a soul mate you sweat blood to get. One you live your whole life for?" 

"What the hell does that mean, Xander? I know you're with Buffy. I called Buffy when you were falling apart, remember?" 

"So what the hell do you want, a medal?" 

"You bastard! You came into my life. We had an instant bond. We work well together. I helped nurse you back from your terror. What's the problem, Xander?" 

Monica begins to cry. Xander goes to her. "I'm sorry, Monica. I'm sorry." He holds her head in his hands. 

"Monica, please…" 

"Please what, Xander? You don't think I'm confused? You've been in this stuff a lot longer than I have!" 

"What do you want out of me?" 

"Help, sharing, all those things you said we would do." 

"Monica…I…can't." 

"What the hell are you afraid of, Xander?" 

He doesn't answer. "You're afraid so you're going to let me out in the cold?" 

"Will you stop it. I'm not going to leave you out in the cold." He goes to her. He grabs her by the shoulders. She pulls away. 

"Don't touch me, Xander! You're not going to pacify me. I'm not one of your groupies, Xander!" 

Xander can't handle it. "I'm leaving." 

As he is going Monica says one last thing. 

"You can leave but I'm not going away and what you are isn't going away, either." 

"Is this something you planned to do? A little mind torture." 

"You're pathetic, Xander." 

"Thank you for this Sunday get together feel bad session. Maybe we can do it again, sometime." 

"Just get out of here, Xander." 

Monica is very upset. She didn't mean to sound that desperate. She knows he's with Buffy. She is loyal to Buffy and to him. But, she knows that she and Xander are the same. Rebecca told her as much. Why is he afraid of it? Why is he afraid of her? 

Xander starts to leave but as he does a gun-toting teenager ushers him back in. The teenager is wearing a Dracula vampire costume. 

The youth points the gun at Xander. "Get back in there!" He does. Monica sees him. 

"I thought you were leaving?" 

Xander points behind him. The kid comes in. "Get over there with her and put your hands up, the both of you." 

Xander can't believe it. "You're going to rob the school?" 

The youth has no such intention. "No, I don't care about money. I want blood." 

Xander and Monica look at each other. "You're a vampire?" 

"I will be. What the hell are you looking at me like that for?" 

"I just never saw a vampire who looked quite like you, before." 

"What do you know about vampires?" 

Xander doesn't answer. The youth continues. "Vampires are real, just like you and me. Soon I will join their minions. Let's go outside." 

Xander and Monica decide to go along, mostly to see what is happening. They walk about six or seven blocks. They meet up with about ten other youths dressed similarly. Boys and girls, they float around and between Xander and Monica. 

Monica looks at Xander. "Xander, what the hell are these people doing?" 

"Your guess is as good as mine, Monica." 

They all stop to look at Xander and Monica. 

"I think we're about to find out." 

"Is that your intuition, again?" 

"Very funny, Xander. You think that stuff inside you is going to go away? It's not." 

A girl dances close to our pair. "How do you feel on this glorious night?" 

Monica answers. "It's not so glorious for us. Your friend is holding a gun on us." 

"You two have been chosen as the offering to buy our immortality." 

Xander reacts. "What? 

They are taken to the basement of an abandoned factory. It is decked out like a fantasy vampire liar. 

A girl comes up to them. Monica addresses her. 

"Whoever you people are, you are very sick." 

Xander asks her. "Do you have a leader?" The girl leaves to get him. Xander turns to Monica. "Either these people think they're vampires or else…" 

He is interrupted by the presence of an outrageously costumed young man. He is obviously the leader. He addresses our duo. 

"Welcome to our humble liar." 

Xander cuts right to the chase. "Who the hell are you people?" 

"We are Satan's chosen minions." 

Monica looks at him with disdain. "You're not a vampire." 

He looks at his watch. He states with pride. "In two hours and forty seven minutes I will be." 

"What happens then?" 

"The people you see here have been chosen to join the ranks of the glorious immortal." 

"Who chose them?" 

"Fate." 

"Does that mean you choose them?" 

"I was chosen…" 

Xander is really getting impatient. 

"Who chose you?" 

"One of Satan's top representatives." Monica and Xander just look at one another. 

Now, Xander is actually getting amused. Monica is not. 

"You are crazy, kid! Where do we fit in?" 

"You are the blood offering. Unfortunately, we need to buy our immortality." 

Xander thinks he gets it now. "I get it. You give us to Satan's top representative and in return you get turned into vampires." 

He nods. Xander breaks out laughing. Monica gives him a dirty look. But, he continues to talk to the leader. 

"Look, pal, this is all hysterical and everything but you're nuts." 

He stares at the headman. Monica addresses Xander. "Are you going to do something, Xander?" 

"Yes, Monica." He looks back at the head guy. "First of all tell your boy here to get that gun away from us." 

Xander doesn't wait. He kicks it out of the boy's hand and grabs it. He grabs Monica's hand and heads for the door. 

"I hate to mess up your plan but we're leaving 

It won't open. Xander looks back at the leader. "Open the fucking door or I'll bust your ass in front of all your flunkies." 

"We can't open it. It can only be opened from the outside." 

Monica and Xander can't believe it. "You stupid son of a bitch!" 

Monica runs to the leader. "What happens in two hours and forty-seven minutes?" 

"We become immortal." 

"You want to spell that out a little clearer?" 

"Our representative to the sire will arrive. He will present us." 

"Xander asks. What is the representatives name?" 

"Pike." 

Xander breaks out laughing again. Monica is disturbed. 

"You want to share your sudden source of mirth, Xander. I for one find nothing funny here." 

"Pike, that's Buffy's old boyfriend. That's who she is out with tonight." 

Xander gets the whole thing now. 

"Is there another blood sacrifice?" 

"Yes, Pike will bring her." 

Xander laughs again. This is too funny. 

"Listen, head guy, tell me I'm wrong. Your sire's name, it wouldn't be Spike by any chance, would it?" 

"Yes, Spike and his night queen, Drusilla." 

Monica and Xander shake their heads at the idiots in front of them.

* * *

In the mean time Buffy meets Pike. They hug very warmly. 

"It's really good to see you, Pike." 

"How have you been, Buffy. I see you're still alive, at least." 

"Well, it gets close sometimes." 

They dance. They talk over old times. Buffy introduces him to Willow and Oz. 

Pike wants Buffy to visit someplace with him. They leave the Bronze.

* * *

Back inside the factory, Xander is lecturing these crazy people. 

"All you people are crazy. We know Spike and Drusilla. The only thing that's going to happen when they come is a blood bath. They don't choose vampires like this." 

Monica adds. "Everybody is going to get killed!" 

The head guy responds. "You don't understand." 

Xander grabs him very hard. "You're a moron. It's you who doesn't understand. We deal with these monsters every day." 

Just then the door opens. It's Buffy and Pike. When Xander sees them he runs up the steps. 

"Don't let the door…? It's too late. It slams behind them. 

Buffy looks. "Xander?" 

Xander looks at Pike he grabs him and slams him up against the wall. 

"Are you Pike?" 

Buffy tries to intercede. "Xander, we didn't do anything!" 

"Your asshole friend here has a plan." Some of the kids try to rescue Pike. Xander backs them down. 

"Anybody comes anywhere near me I'll break his neck and yours!" 

They believe him. Monica disarms one of them. She takes the bullets from the gun. 

Buffy looks around. "What the hell is going on?" 

Monica answers. "We were abducted from the library at gun point. These people here are waiting for Spike and Drusilla to come to make them immortal." 

"What?" 

Xander adds. "Your ex here is their leader!" 

"Buffy can't believe it. "Pike?" 

"I…" He can't speak. Xander is practically choking him. 

"Xander, let him go." He does. 

"What's going on, Pike?" 

"I'm sorry, Buffy." 

"Sorry about what, Pike?" 

"Buffy, I have cancer. I only have about six months to go." 

"I'm sorry, Pike, but what…" 

Xander interrupts. "So you made a deal with Spike for the slayer?" 

"Pike…" Tears come to Buffy's eyes. 

Xander goes on. "Did you tell these people Spike would turn them into vampires?" 

"He said…" 

Monica interrupts him. "Jesus, Pike, do you know what they're going to do to them?" 

Xander runs half way down the steps. 

"You people have been misled. You think the vampires are coming to initiate you. They think they're coming to McDonalds." 

They all look to the headman. Xander grabs him roughly. 

"Tell them you asshole!" 

He doesn't say anything. Buffy recovers. She grabs Pike. 

"Tell them, Pike!" 

"She's right." 

Monica grabs the head guy. "Were you told to get us particularly?" 

"No, you were the first people we saw." 

Xander picks up on it. He talks to Buffy. "Buffy, they know they have you but not us. We'll try to jump somebody, make a trade." 

Buffy looks sadly at Pike. "I thought we were friends, Pike, maybe even more than friends." 

"I'm sorry. I freaked out when I learned about the cancer." 

"I trusted you." She gets angry. "Okay, I can see you but why involve all the others?" 

Just then Spike and Drusilla bust in the door. They have at least ten vamps with them. 

Spike sees Buffy. "Slayer, you have the worst luck with ex boyfriends." 

He addresses the others. "Okay, five on her, the rest on the others. Have fun and…share people." 

All the morons scatter in terror. Spike moves away from Drusilla. When he does Monica jumps her. Xander gives Spike a couple of punches then joins Monica on Drusilla. He holds a broken chair leg to her heart. 

"You just make one fucking move, Queenie, and I'll have my wet dream staking your dark ass!" 

Drusilla is petrified. Monica stares at Xander. The boy addresses Spike. 

"Spike, call off the dogs on Buffy or you're one lonely ass vampire!" 

Spike can't believe Xander is here. 

"Harris, how the hell did you get here?" 

"These idiots picked us for the blood offering." 

Knowing that Xander means business. "Alright, boys, leave the slayer for another time." 

Xander laughs. "Spike, how the hell you ever get these people to think they're chosen?" 

"We owe it all to Ann Rice." 

In the mean time Buffy gets the door. Xander tries to save the others. 

"Listen, Spike you owe me one, right?" 

"Bloody well not, mate. Your slayer got that back." 

"Hey man, I'm talking about Angel." He releases Dru. She hides behind Spike. 

The vampire thinks for a minute. He calls to the other vamps. 

"People, people…our supper's been cut short. Let's roll." 

"Come on, Spike wasn't this a little too easy, anyway?" 

"Harris…that torture thing…not my style…We're all even now. Tell your damn slayer. Have something next time or don't bother me!" 

As Spike is leaving. "Harris, how's Rachel?" 

"How would I know Spike?" 

Spike laughs. "You're funny. You know, she won't go down for anyone else. I actually think she's better for you than the slayer. She is sweeter, right?" 

Xander looks at Buffy. "You catching all this, Dru?" 

Spike looks at Buffy. "Oh, I see. You're settling down and all that rot. You had quite a run, Harris. Aren't you a little young to be packing it in, already?" 

"Goodbye, Spike!" 

Pike runs to the vampire. "What about me?" 

Spike looks back at Xander. "Now you owe me one." He puts his arm around him. 

Buffy reacts. "No!" Two vamps stop her. 

Spike talks to Pike on the way out. "So you want to be a vampire?" 

Monica was staring at Xander the entire time he was speaking to Spike. She goes up to him. 

"You are too scary, Xander!" 

Buffy joins in agreement. "Monica is right. When did you get on speaking terms with Spike?" 

Xander defends himself. "Excuse me, did I save these people or what?" 

Buffy is disgusted. "Thanks for defending me. Was that a moment of male bonding between rival studs?" 

"Ah, why don't we see how many casualties we have?" 

"We're going to have a meeting about this." 

Monica talks to Buffy. "Buffy, I don't know how you can stand it. He scares the hell out of me." 

Miraculously no one was killed. Buffy gathers everyone together. 

"Now, all of you. "Take all that ridiculous Halloween stuff off. Don't play around with this kind of thing ever again." 

She looks at all of them individually. "If any of you have anything more to do with vampire costumes, vampire masks, vampire teeth or even vampire movies I'm going to have that nasty (pointing to Xander) mean looking, scary man up there beat your ass!" 

"Take a good look at him as you get the hell out of here!" 

They all heed Buffy's warning as they sneak past Xander. He stares at Buffy. 

After they leave. "Wasn't that a bit harsh?" 

"Stupid ass civilians! No it wasn't. You are mean and nasty. You're scarier than the vampires." 

Monica adds. "I'll second that. Is this Star Wars? Are you on the verge of joining the dark side? Hell, Drusilla was scared shitless. A vampire scared shitless of you." 

Buffy walks away shaking her head. Xander answers Monica. "Is this a little over reaction because of our earlier discussion? Come on, this was almost comical compared to most of the stuff we face." 

"The presence of all that evil in one place is never comical, Xander." 

"Come on, Monica, we got out of it." He goes close to her. 

"I'm sorry about earlier, Monica. I want to be friends." They hug. 

Buffy is very sad. She really liked Pike. She really trusted him. Xander sees her just sitting on the steps, staring. He goes to her. 

"I'm sorry, honey." 

"I really trusted him, Xander. How many people can we really trust?' 

He embraces her. "Not many, Buff, not many." 

They walk out. 

They head back to the library. The whole gang is there. 

They run down the whole story. Giles is unsure of the ending. Buffy goes over it. 

"Spike, Dru and the boys walk in. They surrounded me. Monica jumped Drusilla." 

Giles interrupts. "Didn't she fight back, Monica?" 

"She did at first but then bad ass over there put the fear of God in her. Giles, she was terrified to move." 

Giles looks at Xander. "Drusilla is afraid of you, Xander?" 

"It probably has to do with that torture thing, Giles." 

Monica jumps right in. "It has to do with his bad ass attitude. And, what he said to her… something about the thought of killing her being his wet dream." 

Xander sinks down in his chair. "Alright, Monica, let's move on." 

Buffy continues. "Spike knew he meant it. He called off the dogs on me. Then Xander and Spike have this buddy-buddy talk. Spike owed him one for Angel or something so he lets the idiots go, too." 

Monica speaks up, again. "Then Spike and Xander have this discussion about who's sweeter in bed, Buffy or Rachel!" 

Buffy glares at Xander. He slides further down in his seat. "Then Xander lets Spike take Pike. When Buffy tried to stop them the vamps held her back." 

"Monica, that's enough. I did not allow Spike to take Pike. I had nothing to do with it." 

"Then how come Spike said you owe him one now." 

"That is one thing I do want to talk about. Who the hell used up my favor with Spike?" 

He looks at Buffy. She answers. "What, the pirates favor? Excuse me. We were looking for you one time. One of the many times you were missing in action." 

"If you want something from Spike you have to bring something for him." 

"Oh, well, goddamn, string me up! I was worried about you. I forgot all about the thieves code of honor." 

Xander goes to Buffy. She is still upset about Pike. He fondles her face. "I'm sorry, honey." 

He turns around to face the group. "I apologize to you, also, Monica." 

Giles goes back to business. "So we are to presume that we now have to deal with Pike and it is as a favor to Xander?" 

"That's a bit harsh, Giles." 

"Monica adds. "Yea, but it happened!" 

I think Spike did a little thinking on his feet. He knows it will bother Buffy to have to face him." 

"Yes, I agree. That is a much more feasible explanation." 

Xander sticks his tongue out at Monica. 

Giles continues. "I will not comment on the other matter. Buffy, I am very sorry about your friend." 

Everyone chimes in with his or her condolences. 

"Did you reprimand the individuals?" 

Monica answers. "Buffy told them if they ever have anything to do with vampires again she would get bad ass after them. They were scared stiff when she made them all walk past him" 

Xander responds. "Yes, I resent the use of me as a threat to scare kiddies to death." 

Everybody starts laughing. 

"It's not funny. The slayer princess is the scary one. I'm the adorable, funny one, remember?" 

Buffy gets into it. "Sure, we didn't know if you and Spike were going out for a beer afterwards or not." 

Monica adds. "Yea, to compare she-goddess bedding." 

Everybody is rolling on the floor laughing. "I resent something here!" 

Willow agrees with the others. "I'm sorry, Xander but the new you deserves it all." 

* * *

Part Five-Nothing Heavy 

* * *

After the meeting Buffy and Xander stroll home. Buffy is still upset. Xander puts his arm lovingly around her. 

"I'm sorry it turned out like this, honey." 

"I let my defenses down." 

"I know you did. I bet it really killed him to do that to you, Buff. He was in a really bad situation." 

After a few minutes of walking Buffy looks up at Xander. 

"Can I tell you something without you getting angry?" 

"I won't get angry at you tonight, Buff." 

"You are unbelievably jealous." 

"What, I didn't go to the Bronze." 

"Yea, but it drove you crazy, I know it did. You were almost happy when you found out what Pike was doing. It meant you could attack him with a clear conscience." 

"I think you're reading into this, Buffy." 

Xander knows Buffy caught him at something he was hoping he could keep under wraps. 

Buffy doesn't make him suffer long, however. She leans up giving him a very nice kiss to the lips. 

"I'm sure glad I'm your honey." 

"Okay, you found me out. But, I paid dues for you. I paid dues to get your smile in my direction." He kisses her. "I paid dues to be able to do that." 

He looks at her hair. He runs his hand through it. 

"I paid dues to be able to have you fix your hair like that for me." 

"Okay, Xander, I get it. You paid dues." 

She continues. "You know, I paid dues for you, too. I still am. Monica thinks she's your wife." 

"What?" 

"She tells you off like she's your wife. I have to hurry up and say things before she does." 

Xander doesn't comment. They walk a bit more. Buffy has something else on her mind. She stops, looking at him with furrowed brow. 

"Xander, am…am I good in bed?" 

"What?" 

"How come you didn't say anything when Spike said Rachel was better than me?" 

"You want me to talk over our sex life with Spike?" 

"Well, is she?" 

"Buffy, we're going to stop right here." He grabs her by the shoulders. 

"What we do, alone, behind close doors is sacred to me…and private. It is between you and I. It involves you and I. I don't talk about the private matters between you and I with anyone. It is not open for discussion with anyone." 

He continues. " I'm in love with you. My life began when you started to love me. Everything else I did with anybody else is irrelevant now. The subject is closed!" 

"Xander, I'm sorry…gees." 

"I don't want any of that kid shit of comparing this woman or that woman. All that stuff with Spike is just locker room banter to throw the daemons off their game!" 

"Okay, Xander, calm down. I…I feel the same way. God, every time I think I know everything about your love for me you show me something else. I'll never bring it up again." 

Xander feels bad about getting mad. "Hey, you had a rough time tonight. I'm sorry. Honey." 

"Believe it or not, Xander, I actually like the things you say. They're romantic and…neat…and very loving. They make me feel all safe and secure." 

They walk some more. Xander has something to tell her. 

"Buffy." 

"Yes, sweetie?" 

"I have to tell you this. I really feel strange in front of Monica now. I just get this funny feeling." 

Buffy gets a serious look on her face. "In the pit of your stomach, Xander?" 

"No, Buff, not the same feeling I get when I'm around you." 

"She is different and very strong." 

"She scares me." 

"Why, Xander?" 

"Because I think she's "One Of Them" also." 

"She scares me, too, but for a different reason." 

"I told her we would talk about it and teach each other and be good friends." 

Buffy has to swallow her jealousy. The fact Xander is bringing it up to her means he would like her help as a friend. He values her opinion. She needs to use some of her wisdom as a slayer rather than her possessiveness as his soul mate. 

"Xander, I think most of the reason Monica scares you is because she is scared herself. I didn't tell you but when you were missing Monica almost lost it. She was as upset as I was. She can't help it. This is all new to her. She really needs you." 

Xander can't believe what he is hearing. He looks at Buffy with his mouth open. 

"Xander, close your mouth." He does. "Xander, deep down inside I trust you. It might not show all the time but I do. Don't let her down as a friend, Xander, we need her." 

"Did all that just come from you?" She nods. 

"Wow! Are you, like trying to get me to fall in love with you all over again?" 

"An interesting side benefit." 

They kiss very passionately. Xander puts everything he has in it. Buffy gets the message. 

"Wow, Xander. What the hell was that?" 

"Stick with me, kid, I got a whole ton of that at home." 

She grabs his hand, pulling him along at slayer speed. Xander knows he has Buffy turned on. 

"Hormones on parade. Who would have thunk our so together slayer could exhibit such unbridled…Ugh!" Buffy clamps her hand over his mouth. 

"Be quiet, Lavelle. This is serious business. Now come along with me and be your romantic self. I mean, pure libido on the beach stuff! I want to hear all those flowery, corny, romantic Things you say about our love." 

She has to stop to partake of another piece of the boy's wondrous lips. 

"I surely have no idea what you are talking about. I'm just this high school nerd who has been bewitched by this powerful blonde super slayer." 

Buffy is desperate now. There are times when she just gets completely carried away with her feeling for this boy/man her heart has chosen. It builds up inside of her, overtaking all logic and reason and… 

They burst through Xander's door. Buffy immediately jumps his bones. It is not a sight for the uninitiated. The slayer knows what she needs to live. 

"God, Xander, I have never felt like this before." 

"Not even with Angel, Buff?" 

"Are you kidding, honey, this blows away anything I have ever felt. And, it just keeps getting better. Now, can we please stop talking?" 

It's a good thing nobody else was around. Few could have survived the torrid sweep of love led gale and fire. Gusts of passion blow the drapes off the windows and topple the furniture. Xander's house is hit with a whirlwind of heavy soul speaking, an explosion of deep unbridled conversation between two very hot individuals. 

In the calm after the storm all manner of life lies still. Xander has no idea where he is. He is unable to move a muscle. All he can do is stare into space. Buffy is no better. She is sprawled out somewhere between the overturned love seat and the thankfully cold fireplace. 

Whatever happened was above and beyond them. It was much more than the sum of it's parts. 

It registered on a plain neither understood. All our heroes know is that it felt really, really good. 

Madre de Dios!! 

Sleep comes quickly. Neither wakes until the sun pours through the bare windows. Somewhere in the middle of the night they found each other. They bask in the hold of one another. Xander sighs. 

"What happened last night?" 

"I have no idea, lay back down." 

Xander looks at the clock. 

"Shit, Buff, we have to go to school!" 

"School? We don't go to school. We're on this cloud…" 

He shakes her out of her fantasy. 

"Buff, we'll be lucky if we graduate as it is. We have to go." 

"Oh, party pooper." 

"I hope we didn't burn up our clothes or anything." 

Buffy practically crawls upstairs. She goes into the bathroom. 

"Oh, my god, Xander, get in here!" 

Xander rushes to her side. "What's the matter, Buffy?" 

She is really upset. "Look what you did to me." 

She points to her neck. There, in bright living color, are two very dark love marks. 

"Oh, shit." 

Buffy can't believe it. "Are you crazy, Xander?" 

"Buff, I…I…" He has to suppers a laugh. 

She stares at him. "I'm not even going to look anywhere else. This is you and all that crap you talk…and all that X-rated stuff you do!" 

"I'm sorry, Buff." 

"No you're not. You're not sorry. You can't control yourself. You're out of control." 

"Buff, you asked me…" 

"Get out of here, Xander!" 

"Buff…" 

"Get out of here, now." 

Xander goes downstairs. In a few minutes he comes back up. Buffy is still in the bathroom. 

"I thought I told you to leave, Xander?" 

"Buff, ah…we're in my house." 

"See what you do to me. I don't even know where I'm at." 

She yells at him as she is going down stairs. 

"I don't even know where my clothes are!" 

Xander gets dressed. He goes down stairs. Buffy is sitting, pensively on the sofa. He goes to her. 

"Are you okay, Buff?" 

"No I'm not. Not while you're around. You're dangerous." 

"Buffy, they're only…" 

"They're hickeys, Xander! I can't go out with these. I can't leave your house." 

Xander gets Buffy a turtle neck shirt he had. She puts powder and make up on her marks then puts the shirt on. As she is leaving she turns to her honey. 

"Xander, we are officially broken up. In fact, I don't even know you. You have to stay completely away from me forever!" 

"Buffy, will you cut it out." 

"Xander if you try to come anywhere near me I'll use my slayer strength to beat you up." 

She storms out. 

As mad as she is Xander can't take it seriously. She had no problem with it while he was doing it. He has to laugh to himself as he is walking to school. 

Buffy meets Willow in school. The Witch sees her somber mood. 

"Did you and Xander do anything exciting last night?" 

Buffy grasps at her neck. "Why, does it show?" 

"What?" 

The slayer doesn't answer. Willow stares at her. 

"Come out with it, Buffy. What did our dear brother do now?" 

Just as she is about to answer Oz joins them. They both look at him. The kind of look that says; "Girl talk about to happen, go away" 

He doesn't get it. Willow addresses him. "Oz, could I talk to you later." 

The wolf is angry. "What the hell is this? Everytime you and her get together I have to take off? If you're ashamed of me, Willow, have the guts to say it!" 

He storms away. Buffy starts to speak. 

"Will, we can talk later." 

Willow shakes her head. "He's not mad because of that." 

"Maybe I'm not the only one with something for the vault today." 

"We were over his house last night…alone." 

"Yea, Will, remember we knew that? In fact we almost planned that." 

"I know…but…but he started doing things. He sang me the 15th song that he wrote for me and he was being funny and charming and romantic." 

"But?" 

"We started kissing and he started doing things he's never done before and…." 

"So when all the laughing and singing and talking was over you…" 

"I freaked out." 

"How bad?" 

"I hit him." 

"Oh, Will." 

"I know I said I was ready but then all of a sudden it was just me and Oz. I just couldn't do it." 

"You probably didn't shut him down soon enough. If you don't shut them down soon enough things can fall off them. They can blow a gasket or something." 

"We stayed up all night talking. He was very understanding but…" 

"But he was upset, too?" 

"Yes." 

"Will, the only thing I can say is that he certainly loves you. And the fact that he was willing to stay even after you said no. That's a big thing." 

"We were in his house." 

"Oh, yea, I forgot. But, still, he could have kicked you out." 

"That's true. Now, what about the Xander front?" 

"Well, I might reconsider this, but I split up with him." 

"You did what?" 

"Willow, I'm going to show you something then you have to forget you ever saw it, do you understand?" 

"Even if they send a herd of wild horses on top of me I'll never reveal what I see." 

"Buffy pulls the turtle neck down." 

"Oh, my god, Buffy, they're hickeys!" 

"Not so loud, Willow." 

"Buffy, I never thought I would ever…" 

"I know, Willow." 

"But, you let him do it?" 

"I didn't even know he did it." 

"What?" 

"Willow, Xander is…he's…I told him I had never felt the way I felt last night. He asked me if that included the time with Angel. When I said yes he sort of got…you know, intense." 

"Is that when the never to be mentioned again neck incident happened?" 

"I think so." 

"Girl, you have it really, really bad for that boy. He has you all flustered." 

"Will, sometimes with him, I don't think my life is so bad, after all. He can take me to a nice warm, soft place and, I can relax because I know he'll see any danger coming long before it gets to us." 

Willow sees Xander coming toward them. "Speaking of warm and soft." 

He approaches them. "Good morning, Will." He looks at his honey. "Hello, my sweet." 

"Willow, he must be talking to you. We're not even together anymore." 

"Buffy, will you stop it?" 

"Keep your hands and your feet and everything else away from me." 

"Buffy, if you don't stop it I'm going to tell every one why you're mad at me" 

"You better not, Lavelle." 

Xander leaves. 

Willow looks at Buffy. "You like torturing him, don't you?" 

"I love it. I'll let him tell me he's sorry, later." They enjoy a good laugh.

* * *

Go on to Part Six 

* * *

  
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	25. Chapter 6

* * *

Part Six--Rachel, Rachel 

* * *

Rachel has still not gotten past the fact that her people put the man she loves through the most inhuman torture imaginable. She did help the slayer find him but it was almost too late. She never thought herself to be a coward. She sat immobilized in fear and sorrow rather than make an effort to save him. Xander will never want to look at her again. 

But, then when she thinks of him, thinks of the type of person he is she knows he will forgive her. She has to see him. She doesn't want to interfere with him and the slayer but she has to go to him. The vampire has to find out if he can even stand the sight of her. 

If he can't she is going to have to leave Sunnydale. She sets out to search for him but is rudely interrupted by Mr. and Mrs. Harris. 

"Going somewhere, princess?" 

"What is it to you?" 

"Are you still mad at us for messing up your Xander-poo? We were hoping the slayer would finish you off. But, it appears our forever-faithful son must have stopped her. It's so touching. Isn't it just a crying shame you can't be with him. You should have joined us to try to get rid of the slayer. Then you could have him." 

He puts his arm around her neck. He then continues. 

"But, alas, poor Rachel. Poor, almost not a vampire, Rachel. You fell in love with a human and now it's time to pay the piper. And, just for an added bonus you're going to help us get your precious Xander for another round of fun and games. I'm sure that will just warm your heart." 

Rachel is petrified but she is not backing down this time. 

"You might have me but if you think I'm going to help you capture Xander you're crazy." 

"Well, Rachel, I'm impressed. You do have some courage in those sweet bones of yours. In fact I'm actually turned on. Now that the boy wonder de-flowered you are you ready for a real man?" 

"Do whatever you are going to do but I'll be dust in the wind before I'd lay with you or anybody else in your crowd." 

Mrs. Harris gets into the act. "How did you ever manage to last this long with your innocence? I wish I would have been around sooner. I would have made sure you were ready for frying!" 

Mr. Harris knocks Rachel to the ground. His wife puts her out with a rock. 

Buffy waits for Xander as he comes out of school. She has avoided him all day. She goes to him. 

"Okay, Xander, I'll take you back under two conditions. One, you never, ever do that again." 

"Even if you ask me to do it?" 

"Be quiet. The other condition is that you let me keep your turtle neck just in case you don't follow the first condition." 

He just looks at her, laughing. She gets embarrassed. "What?" 

"The mighty slayer princess. Totally in control at all times except…" 

"That will be enough out of you, Lavelle. I know your weakness, too, you know?" 

She starts to approach him menacingly. "Okay, okay we won't talk about it any more." 

"Good, now, shall we go out to eat before we patrol?" 

"Sounds like a plan." 

After a pleasant meal they have to go home to get ready for patrol. Buffy has to put on her fighting togs. Xander looks at her. 

"What do you want, sweetie. I can tell that look. You have something outrageous to ask me." 

"What do you mean you can tell that look?" 

"I can usually tell what you want by the way you look at me." 

"That's ridiculous. No, you can't." 

Buffy sighs. "Right now you want to ask me something that is ridiculous. Come on…out with it." 

"You're scaring me, Buffy." 

"What do you want, Xander?" 

"Will you still…you know…climb down from your bedroom for patrol?" 

"Xander, I don't have to do that anymore, remember?" 

"Yea, I know but…you know…" 

Buffy starts laughing. "Xander you're a pervert, aren't you?" 

"Why, because I like to see my honey climb down the shrubs from her bedroom?" 

"Yea, that's pretty much what I was saying." 

Xander starts to pout. Buffy has mercy on him. 

"Okay, my crazy boyfriend, I'll climb down from my bedroom. But, I hope my parents don't ask me why I'm doing it." 

"You'll think of something if they do." 

"How about if I tell them you like to watch my butt as I climb down? Will they still think you're so great?" 

"Let's hope it doesn't get that far." 

"Okay, sweetie, I'll see you for patrol."

* * *

Buffy does indeed climb down from upstairs. Xander gets the proper motivation from it. "Mercy, mercy me!!" 

Buffy just rolls her eyes. They walk a few minutes in silence. Then, Buffy has an observation. 

"Xander, do you know why I'm always turned on around you?" 

"I didn't know you were." 

"Come on, Lavelle, pay attention here. Do you know why?" 

"Because I'm so handsome." 

"It's because you never shut up." 

"I think I'm insulted." 

"How can you say so many things about me? How come you never run out of things? No matter how long we're together you always say something different." 

"Buff, are you complaining or are you just venting?" 

"I want to know, Xander. Who are you and how can you have so much power over me?" 

"I have power over you, huh? Are you revealing diary type things now?" 

"Xander, how can you live knowing so little about yourself?" 

"I think it bothers you more than it does me. I know enough about myself." 

"You're my soul mate and I love you. But, there are some things which I think you should find out about yourself." 

He sighs. "What brought this on Buff?" 

"Xander, I'm your true love. It's natural for me to be concerned about everything that has to do with you." 

Xander doesn't say anything. 

"Xander, does it still surprise you when I know everything you're thinking and doing?" 

"What do you know now, Buff?" 

"I know why you don't want to know more about yourself." 

"Oh, you do now, do you?" 

Buffy has to laugh. "Yes, mystery man who is not mystery man anymore. You are afraid that if you find out more about yourself it might somehow interfere with our love for each other." 

Xander stares at the slayer. She hit it right on the head. 

"We're going to have to break up now." 

Buffy just giggles to herself. 

"You think you're funny, don't you?" 

After they walk a few minutes Xander stops in front of Buffy. He looks into her eyes. 

"You are every thing I want. Everything I need. And, no matter how many times you tell me or how long we go together I still can't believe you love me. Buffy, when you didn't love me my life was useless. Now that you do I don't want to know anything else." 

Just like Buffy said, Xander never runs out of nice stuff to say to her. He continues. 

"For some reason I have the ability to help you and be your partner. I can sense when something is wrong with you and so far I have been able to keep you alive. It's like being able to live your dream while you're awake. Like getting your heavenly reward while still on earth." 

"Xander, honey, I don't even know how I was able to live before I met you. The love we have is like some kind of a magic show." 

They kiss very passionately. When they break they stroll into the cemetery full of confidence and life. 

They don't just patrol. They do the place with attitude. They are cocky, even. 

They walk through the rows of graves with disdain. Xander says it. 

"You know, Buff, some nights I feel we control this place." 

Buffy picks it right up. "Yea, like some times we get to say what goes on here!" 

"Right, everybody stays in the ground, tonight." Xander waves his stake around. 

"You hear that freaks? No body comes up, tonight. No daemons from hell, tonight!" 

After a few passes our heroes sit down. They pass time in silence as the mist and fog swirls around them. 

In the distance they hear a voice. It is very faint but Xander gets a cold, evil chill down his spine. He recognizes it. 

"Xander, help." 

Buffy hears it, too. "Xander, did you hear that?" 

He doesn't answer as he makes a step toward the voice. 

"Help" 

Buffy goes to Xander. "Xander, whose voice is that?" 

He looks at Buffy with a pained expression. "It's Rachel." 

"Oh, shit." 

Out of the mist and darkness three figures emerge. Mr. and Mrs. Harris stroll toward our duo. Mr. Harris is holding a very sharp knife at the neck of Rachel. Some blood is dripping from it. 

"Good evening, son, how are you this fine evening? This is fun. First, that little torture thing." 

His mother adds. "It was so sweet sucking your blood." 

Xander tenses. Buffy puts her arm on his back. 

The evil bitch looks at Buffy. "And, you were so convincing with Angel." 

Mr. Harris continues. "But, this is the best of all." 

He puts the squeeze on Rachel's neck. 

Xander is fuming inside but he doesn't want to come right out in support of Rachel in case this is just a test. 

"Now, Xander, are you just going to act like you feel nothing for poor Rachel here? We all know she gave up her sweet flower to you, son." 

Buffy looks at Xander. Mr. Harris catches that. "Buffy, you don't believe that bullshit he was handing you earlier, do you? Do you know how many women he has slept with? He and Rachel are quite sweet on each other. I'm sure you can see that. Nasty business love. So many messy feelings." 

He looks back to Xander. "Rachel here has been a bad girl. She has to suffer. But, being the fun loving vampires that we are, we are going to make a game of it. I won't complete this beheading for seventy-two hours. Maybe you can rescue her by then?" 

They fade back into the shadows. Xander puts his head down. Buffy stares at him. She feels as if a gap just opened between them. She can't explain it. It is him, however, not her. She walks to him. 

Xander feels a pain deep within him. The bastards always know how to get to him. How to get to them. He feels alone. 

Buffy has not seen Xander like this for a long time. He seems completely withdrawn from her. It really scares her. 

"Xander?" 

The boy doesn't answer. For one of the few times in his recent life he wishes he wasn't with Buffy. He wishes he would have patrolled alone. There is a real tension with them when it comes to Rachel. Xander loves Buffy with all his heart and soul but he cannot turn a deaf ear to Rachel. He does not feel the same thing for Rachel that he does for Buffy but he has an unbreakable bond with her. 

He starts crying with anger. Buffy wants to go to him but she almost feels like a stranger all of a sudden. 

Xander looks at her. "I have to go, Buffy." 

The slayer panics. "Wait a minute, Xander. What the hell just happened? What do you mean you have to go?" 

"Buffy, please?" 

She goes to him. "Honey, it's me, Buffy. "What are you doing?" 

Xander wants to take off, now. He knows Buffy will not approve. 

"Please, just let me go." 

Buffy fondles his face. "Honey, let's get the gang together. Let's at least tell Giles. You can't just take off. It's crazy. We have to have a plan." 

"Buffy, they are doing this so you and I will have a fight over it. It's part of the plan." 

"Well, let's not fight over it, then." 

"Buffy, you don't understand." 

"Xander, you just put a division between us. Do you know you just did that?" 

"I don't want to hurt you, Buffy." 

"Then don't, Xander." 

He puts his arms on her shoulders. "You just don't understand, Buffy." 

"I do understand, Xander. You want to rescue Rachel. I told you your pirate ways ended when we got together. We are going to do this the right way. Now, let's get a meeting together. Most of the gang is still at Giles's house. Tonight was research night." 

Xander reluctantly follows Buffy. She knows she could lose him at any time here. Everything inside him is telling him to attack everybody he can find until he either rescues her or he gets killed. She prays the gang can help sway him. 

Buffy keeps looking up at Xander as they walk. He is hard and distant. 

It is taking all the control he can muster not to just blow Buffy off and hit the sewers. 

Buffy has to say something. "You wish I wasn't here, don't you?" 

"Can we just walk in silence?" 

"This is a side of you that you shouldn't show too often." 

"Will you just be quiet, slayer!" 

To herself, "Damn hard Xander." 

It's still early evening. Most everybody is still at Giles house. Buffy tells everyone what happened. They can all but guess what Xander is going to want to do. Giles speaks. 

"Do you think it has something to do with the Malcolm business?" 

Buffy answers. "It's hard to say, Giles. What do you think, Xander?" 

"What difference does it make?" 

Rebecca asks. "Do you think they're bluffing?" 

Xander jumps on that. "Why would they be bluffing?" 

Buffy can't help it. She has to respond. "The obvious reason?" 

Xander doesn't care. "They're going to kill her!" 

Cordelia interjects. "Isn't that redundant?" 

Buffy gives the brunet an evil look. Xander doesn't respond. 

Somebody has to get to the heart of the matter. Rebecca begins. 

"Whatever the case is they know there is a connection between her and us." 

Willow adds. "I don't think it would be hard for them to know that Rachel is in love with Xander, sorry Buffy." 

Giles disagrees. "While she may be fond of Xander I hardly think you could say she is in love with him." 

Cordelia enlightens him. "Giles, in some things you are way out of the loop, aren't you?" 

Rebecca seconds that. "Giles, don't ask me how she got away with it but Rachel was a virgin." 

Xander has had enough of this. "Let's move on!" 

Willow gladly accommodates him. "Xander, it's a trap. They know it. We know it. You know it." 

Monica speaks for the first time. "They know all the tricks, don't they?" 

Buffy looks at Xander. "They know how to divide us, too." 

"What does that mean, slayer?" 

Monica interrupts. "It means we all know what you're thinking but we can't do it, Xander." 

Buffy rolls her eyes at Monica but is sort of glad she said it instead of her. Now Monica can listen to the sermon. 

Xander's face gets very hard. He stands in front of Monica. She has never seen him like this. 

"We can't do it? We can't try to save the life of someone who helped us take down Malcolm?" 

He is intimidating but Monica stands right up to him. "What about the part where it's a trap. Did you suddenly lose your sense?" 

Xander is pissed off now. "I didn't think you'd want to save her!" 

"What the hell does that mean?" 

Buffy gets back into it. "Don't jump down her throat. You're wrong on this. Whatever is going on in your mind, it's stupid, plain and simple." 

"I was waiting to hear from you. You…you have nothing to say when it comes to Rachel!" 

"I have…" 

Xander interrupts her. "Bullshit, you'd like to see her dead!" 

Willow defends the slayer. "Look, Xander, you can't just attack everybody who disagrees with you. You're not going to use that hard ass routine to intimidate everybody." 

Cindy adds. "Xander, I just joined you guys but even I know it's a trap." 

Monica backs up her sister. "All you have to do is pay attention to know this one." 

Rebecca tries to reason with him. "We all know you want to go anyway, Xander. The danger doesn't bother you as much as the thought of what they may do to her." 

Monica has something else to add. "Xander, the last time we saw Rachel it wasn't exactly clear what side she was on, anyway." 

Buffy looks at Monica. "Thank you Monica. She is a vampire." 

"Yea, Buffy, you talk about me. Wouldn't you just love it if she were in on it? You wouldn't get off on staking her, would you?" 

"Damn you, Xander! If anybody else talked about doing something stupid like this you'd be all over them. But, okay, if you want to do it. If you want to risk your life for her, go ahead!" 

Buffy walks into the other room. 

Monica is mad. "You're going to let this come between you and Buffy?" 

"That's enough, Monica!" 

"No it's not. You notice Giles isn't saying anything." 

All eyes turn to the watcher. "Xander, I know what she did for us. Without her it may have been impossible. But you're very intelligent. You know what they're trying to do. We cannot risk anyone else." 

Xander looks for a loophole. "But, you will let me try to come up with a plan?" 

Giles looks around seeing the shaking heads and incredulous faces of the Scooby gang. 

"I hardly think I can give it my blessing, Xander." 

Willow adds. "What about your undying love for Buffy? What about that ring you gave her?" 

"What about it?" 

Monica chimes in. "You think this isn't going to hurt her?" 

Xander has had enough of Monica. "Monica, why are you in my face for this?" 

She is embarrassed but answers. "Because the whole thing is stupid." 

"The woman saved my life. She was there for me. Is that stupid? How about if it were you, would it be stupid, then?" 

Willow is angry. "Oh, I guess this has nothing to do with your stupid feelings for Rachel?" 

Xander goes toe to toe with Willow but Oz pushes himself in between them. 

"Xander, are you going to attack everybody in the room?" 

The boy backs away from Oz. Devon gets into the argument. 

"Is that it, Xander, do you love her?" 

Xander grabs the musician by the collar but then lets him go. He slumps down in a chair. 

"I'm sorry. I do have feelings for Rachel but it is not the same thing I have for Buffy." 

Monica looks at him hard. "Is that a line, Xander?" 

"Look, Monica, I have no family. I have to have loyalty to my friends. I wish everybody could get to know Rachel like I do." 

Cordelia has to add her sarcastic remark. "No thanks." 

Xander ignores her. "I know it's a trap. I know I can't endanger anybody else but…" 

Monica softens. "That's exactly what they want you to do, Xander." 

Willow sighs. She joins Buffy in the other room. Oz speaks up. 

"This isn't risking your life, Xander, this is more like giving it up." 

Giles adds. "On most things we can support you, Xander." 

"But, not on this?" 

"I'm afraid not." 

Xander shakes his head. Monica goes to him. "Xander, if it were me I would secretly be rooting for you to try but then I would hope you took the more reasonable approach." 

"Which is to let her die?" 

Monica answers. "Go over a scenario for us? A scenario you think would work Xander? One that doesn't involve just attacking every daemon in Hellmouth until either they or we are all dead?" 

Xander gets very close to her. "How about if I would have thought that way when the Werewolves were attacking you and Cindy?" 

Monica is shocked he said that. "I've never seen this side of you before…cruel, and cold blooded…and stupid! I'm finished Xander. Go do it! Go down to hell and get yourself all fucked up but go somewhere else to get comfort!" 

Xander stares at her for a few seconds. 

"Did you hear me, Xander? Go somewhere else to get patched up!" 

Xander answers with a shaky voice. "Yea, I got it loud and clear, Monica." 

Monica is very upset. This is the first time she has had this heavy a confrontation with him. She didn't realize she would be this upset about Xander risking his life. She also didn't realize how upset he would be by her comments. It genuinely shook him up. She wishes she hadn't said it. Is she going to be like Buffy and add to his pain quotient all the time? 

The rest are shocked at the heat of the argument. They are not use to Xander getting that heated with anyone but Buffy. 

Cordelia joins Willow and the Buffy. 

"I'd get out there if I were you, slayer." 

"Why to hear him tell everyone of the many virtues of his vampire queen?" 

"No, to stop he and Monica from killing each other….or having an affair." 

Buffy and Willow go back in. Giles is talking. 

"I don't like to say too much because you kids have a way of keeping each other honest and sharp. Xander, I do agree with everything everyone has said thus far. However, I do feel your concern for Rachel is more than just personal feeling. She has helped us and she did save your life. I could also see her helping in the future. What I can't see is how we could attempt a rescue without an unacceptable level of danger." 

The watcher continues. "If, however, you find you still must try then I will support your decision." 

Buffy immediately jumps on him. "Well, thank you, Giles! You're supposed to be my goddamn watcher. Thanks for giving the okay for him to just throw his life away for her!" 

Willow tries again to reach Xander. "Xander, suppose Monica is right? What if she is in on it?" 

"I guarantee she is not." 

Buffy balks at that. "Oh, that's reliable. That sounds like wishful thinking, Xander. Or is it wishful feeling?" 

Monica gets back into it. "She is a vampire, Xander." 

"Are the three of you going to take turns working me over? Is it a club or something?" 

Buffy answers. "Yea, to stamp out stupidity." 

"You're really funny, Buffy!" 

Xander gets a rock hard look on his face. Buffy was afraid of what she knows is coming next. 

"This has gone far enough. My friend Rachel is in trouble. I am going to help her. I don't care if anyone goes with me or not." 

Buffy has had it, also. She stands in front of him. 

"No, you're not, Xander." 

"Buffy, I don't want to have this out with you." 

She doesn't move. 

"Buffy, don't take this stance with me right now." 

"I am, Xander." 

"Buffy, she is in trouble. I'm her only friend. I'm going to try to rescue her. If I die trying I die trying." 

He looks at everyone. "Giles, you've buried people before. Buffy, thanks for being there when I need you, never!" 

"Monica, you'll never have to wipe another tear from my face. Willow, it's a good thing you have Oz." 

He goes to the door but stops. He looks back at Buffy. She instinctively puts her ring hand behind her back. 

"Buffy, we can talk when I get back." 

He leaves. The slayer shakes her head. 

"Goddamn, he's hard." 

Willow puts her arm around Buffy. "I thought he was going to ask for the ring back, Buffy." 

"So did I. He cannot go looking for her." 

Oz gets up, approaching the slayer. She half knows what he is going to say. 

"I'm going with him, Buffy." 

The slayer looks at Willow. She is too shocked to speak. 

"Shit, I knew it, Oz! Well, thank you for your tremendous support." 

"I agree with all of you. When there was a chance to change his mind I was with you. But, now it becomes a matter of loyalty. We take each other's back." 

Oz turns to leave. Buffy goes to her as he goes out the door. 

"Willow, I'm sorry. I was so blown away from trying to stop Xander I didn't have anything left." 

"Oh, Buffy, they're cut from the same cloth. What are we going to do?" 

Cordelia speaks up. "I'm going too." 

Buffy will not stand for this. The slayer goes toe to toe with the brunet. 

"What kind of shit are you trying to pull, Cordelia?" 

"He needs our support." 

"Yea, but there is a little bit more involved here now and you know it!" 

"Well, then you go, Slayer. He sweats blood for you. Show him you support his loyalty to his friends." 

Buffy thinks about it for a minute. Cordelia doesn't back down. 

"If you don't go I'm going." 

Buffy addresses at everyone. "Can you all stay here. I'll come back with the plan." 

Giles begins to disagree but Buffy stops him. "Too late, watcher. If you didn't want me to go then you should have stopped him!" 

She runs to catch up with Xander and Oz. She catches them as they are going into Xander's house. 

"Xander." 

"Get away from me, Buffy." 

"Listen you hard ass. You're the one who talks about friends. Not one of your friends thinks you should do this. What about me, Xander?" 

"Yea, you do that. This is about loyalty and friendship and risking your life for your friends. You better not turn this into something about you and I." 

She watches him for a few minutes. She can't help it. She starts crying. 

"It's a fucking trap, Xander." 

"If you don't understand this you don't understand me. Just leave, Buffy, I don't want to hurt you." 

"That's bullshit, Xander! What the hell do you think this is doing? This is ripping my heart out! You're hard. You're like a rock. Nobody can penetrate it. Not even me. Is this the message to me, Xander? We're together unless it's really important. Then it's Xander by himself?" 

She continues. "Well, I told you. Everything Xander is me. Wait for me I'll get my stuff." 

Xander stops. He looks at her. "What are you talking about?" 

"I'm going too. Maybe they'll take me in exchange for her." 

"Wait a minute. Of course they'll take you. You can't go, it's suicide." 

"If you're going I'm going." 

"Don't play this game with me, Buffy!" 

"Game?" 

"You're the slayer. You can't…" 

She interrupts him. "I'm your soul mate. I'm going." 

"Buffy, you son of a bitch!" 

"Let me put it this way. Either I'm going with you or else take this ring back." 

Xander can't believe it. "What?" 

"You told me if I put this ring on everything got very serious and very permanent." 

She holds it up to his face. "You see it, I put it on and I meant it!" 

"Fuck you, Buffy!" 

"It's a hard game, Xander. You taught me how to play it. Now make the choice, babe." 

"You can't do this to me, Buffy." 

"The shit is over, Xander. What's the matter? All of a sudden it gets a lot clearer, doesn't it? All of a sudden walking right into the daemons plan doesn't seem quite as appealing, does it?" 

She really has his attention now. 

"No, you selfish bastard! You can't stand the thought of losing me but it's okay if you get yourself killed. Fuck me, right? Well, ain't going to happen this time. Either I go with you or you take the ring back." 

Xander sits down. Buffy looks at Oz. 

"Do you have anything to say about it, Oz?" 

Buffy is expecting a fight. Instead the wolf walks to the door. 

"Xander, I don't agree with trying to rescue Rachel but, if you're going I have your back. I'll wait outside." 

Xander looks at Buffy. "What am I going to do, Buffy? Why are you doing this to me?" 

"Because I'm finally figuring you out. I have to speak a language you understand. Going to hell and practically handing yourself over to the daemons would never occur to you as stupid. But, me going down there...all of a sudden a bell rings in your thick head." 

After a few minutes of quiet, "Which is it, Xander, do we go down to hell or back to Giles house?" 

Xander shakes his head. "You win for now, smart ass." 

Buffy tells Oz they'll meet him back at Giles's house. Xander and Buffy walk back in silence. Buffy looks at Xander funny. Even with all that struggle Xander gave in just a little too easy. Buffy knows she has to watch him. 

Monica has done nothing but pace up and down. As soon as they walk in the door she approaches Xander. 

"Okay, what's up, Xander?" 

"The slayer wins this round. She's very slick." 

"So you're content to wait this out?" 

"Yes, but if something does happen to her I'll never forgive myself." 

Monica looks at Buffy. She has the same feeling that the slayer does. This is just too easy. 

When the meeting breaks up Monica goes to Xander. 

"I know what you're going to do, Xander." 

"What are you talking about, Monica?" 

He tries to walk away but she gets in front of him. 

"Tell me you're not going anyway?" 

He looks at her. "Come outside with me, Monica." 

As they go outside Buffy gives them a really hard look. She didn't hear what was said but it sounded heavy. It still grates on her nerves when Xander has these heart to hearts with his female friends. No matter how many times she tells herself he loves her it still gets to her. 

The slayer goes to the porch. Willow and Cordelia follow. They watch Monica and Xander talk. 

"I know what you're going to do, Xander. You're just pacifying Buffy. As soon as you ditch us you're headed to the sewers." 

"You know, that intuition shit can be wrong." 

"Come on, Xander. Don't ask me why I know I'm right. Just admit it." 

Xander is flustered. "What are you doing, joining forces with Buffy to try to drive me nuts? Whatever she misses you catch." 

"Is that what you call it when somebody loves you?" 

Xander stares at her. Monica wishes she hadn't said that. She closes her eyes. He finally answers her. He thinks of what she said about not coming to her for comfort. 

"You have a real nice way of showing love, Monica." 

"Oh, like your comment wasn't cruel!" 

"Monica, I…" 

"That is beside the point, anyway. You can't try to rescue Rachel, Xander!" 

The boy is really surprised by the intensity of Monica's concern. 

"Monica, I know everybody disagrees with me but you seem to have this intense personal thing about it." 

The girl is really embarrassed. "Xander, please don't make me feel any worse than I already feel. You are so damn stupid it some things…stop getting me off the subject." 

She grabs his hand. "Xander, don't do this. I'm your friend just like Rachel. If she loves you, which I'm sure she does, I know she doesn't want you to do this. I can feel things, Xander, especially about you …" 

Xander has to interrupt. When Monica talks like this it really scares him. 

"That's enough, Monica!" 

"If I was captured and Rachel were here she would tell you the same thing." 

Warming to her. "Yes, honey, and I wouldn't listen to her, either." 

Monica is really frustrated. "Goddamn you, Xander! I'm asking you as your friend and as someone who loves you, don't do this!"

* * *

Buffy is getting very pissed off at both Xander and Monica. She asks Willow. 

"What the hell are they doing now?" 

"Arguing" 

Buffy looks at Cordelia. She and Xander use to argue all the time, too. But, they were also closet partners. 

Cordelia answers. "Don't ask me what they're doing. Where's that leash?"

* * *

Monica and Xander look at each other in silence. Xander finally comments. 

"This is unfair, Monica. You're doing the exact same thing Buffy does. You know you have a hold on my heart and you use it to get whatever you want out of me." 

"Xander, you don't always make the right decision." 

This gets Xander angry again. 

"Do you and Buffy compare notes?" 

"I can feel Buffy's eyes staring a hole in me. Just promise me you won't go and, look in my eyes when you say it." 

"Yes, Monica, nice move. You have my promise. I hope you can live with the fact that if she dies you, and the slayer have seen the last of me." 

"You know what's wrong with you? You're use to doing whatever the hell you feel like doing. One lesson on friendship and love, Xander. If you have feeling for someone you don't blow them off and do whatever the hell you please!" 

She walks away. 

"Ah, good piece, Monica!" He catches up to her. She turns around angry. 

"What…what the hell do you want? Go back to Buffy, Xander!" 

Xander just watches her leave. Nobody can get to him like she does…except Buffy. 

Xander walks back to Giles's house. He doesn't look at Buffy. She questions him. 

"What the hell was that all about, Xander?" 

"You tell me, slayer, are all these people you're agents?" 

"What the hell are you talking about?" 

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Ms. Intuition…" 

He stops. "Never mind, I'd probably just get a fist in my face." 

Willow talks to him. "When are you going to give this up, Xander?" 

He answers her very sarcastically. "I want to thank you for your tremendous input on my behalf." 

Buffy answers him. "You're still not through blowing everybody off, are you?" 

He looks at Cordelia. "Do you have anything to say?" 

"What, that you're acting like you're about ten years old? You can't get your way so you have to lash out at everyone around you? No, I'm not going to say that. I want my head where it is, thank you." 

"You're still a bitch, aren't you?" 

Cordelia knows this is her cue to leave. She pushes past him. "And, you're pathetic, Lavelle." 

She looks at Buffy as she is leaving. "You're going to have to train him better. He's going to get himself in trouble the way he is." 

She leaves. Buffy looks at Xander, shaking her head. "Go home, Xander. Nobody else is going to argue or fight with you. Unless, of course, you want to see Monica baby. She seems to want to keep it going." 

Xander looks at her and Willow. Buffy puts the ring hand behind her back again. 

Xander puts his head down and sighs. Buffy says it again. 

"Go home, Xander." 

He starts to walk away then turns back to Buffy. He looks at her with a dejected pose on his face. 

"Are you coming over?" 

Buffy can't believe it. "What?" 

"Are you coming over?" 

Buffy looks at Willow who just shrugs her shoulders. "He's crazy Willow. Are you crazy, Xander?" 

"Excuse me, I thought I was your boyfriend." 

"Help me Willow." 

"Crazy puppy dog?" 

Buffy stares at her heartthrob for a few seconds. "Come back on this porch, first, Xander." 

He does. "Now, apologize to Willow." 

Xander looks at the redhead. "I'm sorry, Willow." 

"Okay, now wait for me down by the tree. I'll be right there." 

He does. 

She and Willow share a laugh. "At least he didn't ask for the ring back." 

"I better go, Willow, he might wander away." 

"Make him tell you about, Monica…At least he didn't hug her." 

Buffy walks with her crazy boyfriend. She stares at him. Xander notices. 

"What?" 

"You go nuts on everyone, we have a huge fight, you have a secret argument with Monica, you insult Cordelia, who stood up for you by the way, then you ask me if I'm coming over your house." 

"I gave up. You guys took turns working me over. I lost." 

She still stares at him. 

"Am I your boyfriend or not?" 

"Let's see. You're crazy, stubborn, unreasonable, aggravating but…I guess…I guess I still love you." 

Now he stares at her. 

"Yes, you're still my boyfriend." She slides her arm in under his. 

"You go from me being afraid we're going to break up to being my puppy dog." 

"So I have multiple personalities. Have me committed." 

"Oh, no, I'm not letting anyone else work on you. Only I work on you." 

"Good, does that mean we're headed to your room?" 

"No." 

"But, my house is so cold and impersonal. Your room is all warm and cozy….and it has your diary in it." 

"If you want us to have a room together you know the way." 

This shuts him up. 

"I thought that would be the end of the conversation." 

After walking in silence a few minutes. 

"Buffy, I promise after this all calms down we'll talk seriously about taking the next step." 

"Honey, you know my problem. It breaks my heart for you to go home alone night after night but…" 

"I know, Buffy, I know. You don't have to say it." 

"Xander, my family is having a get together tonight. I already missed most of it. I need to go home. I know you're not up to it but…" 

"Buffy, it's fine. I'll call you tomorrow morning." 

After a few intense embraces they bid one another a sweet adieu.

* * *

It was a very heavy day for Monica Gentry, very heavy. She had to confront Xander, twice. He is quite a force. She is proud of herself. She stood toe to toe with him. She talked him out of going on that suicide mission. He listened to everything she said. Sometimes she actually gets the idea he is in love with her. She wonders what would have happened that night if she hadn't called Buffy? What if she would have pushed it with him? 

She shakes those thoughts from her head. She needs to get some rest. She has training in the morning.

* * *

Go on to Part Seven 

* * *

  
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	26. Chapter 7

* * *

Part Seven--Angel Can't Possibly Be Back 

* * *

Xander goes home. His heart aches for Rachel. He can't sleep. He grabs some tea and sits out on his porch. It is a bad night for him. He thinks about his life. Personally, he is very privileged. Despite the problems he has had in his life Xander has the undying love of one of the best people this world has ever produced. When he thinks of that it takes his breath away. He loves everything about Buffy. She has shown him her love in so many ways now. He can feel it everywhere. She wears it on her sleeve and doesn't care who knows it or who sees it. 

If it wasn't for the goddamn Hellmouth they could live happily ever after. He would still have friends but they wouldn't be in life and death situations all the time. He knows Buffy gets upset at the intensity of his friendships. He would never in all the world put her through this if it weren't for the unbelievable danger they all face every minute of every night. Every thing is always so on edge and emotional 

So, here he sits. Instead of being able to glow in the light of his love for his wonderful Buffy he is miserable thinking of the many tortures his friend Rachel is undergoing. 

It's not fair but it is the way it is. He takes a sip of tea and allows the warm liquid to push back some of the cold. 

He isn't there long before he hears a noise in the bushes behind his house. He hears a moan as he approaches. He sees the form of someone lying in the bushes. It's Rachel. As he goes to her he gets a foot squarely to the face. The attacker then pursues him. 

Xander snaps to his feet. Whoever this is doesn't stand a chance. If they are hurting Rachel they are going down. Ignoring a punch to his face Xander flies at the assailant. The son of a bitch is dust before he can say his prayers. 

Another attacker is right on him, however. The boy wonder takes a nasty whack to the head with something heavy. He barely manages to roll away from a second shot. 

Rachel is moaning Xander's name. This is enough for his rage to stay at boiling point. This second attacker knows it too. When it looks into Xander's eyes it decides to run for help. 

He goes to Rachel. "Rachel, honey, what did they do to you?" 

"The…the holy…water.." 

That is all she can get out. He knows that drill. They don't splash it on. They inject it into the veins. It isn't lethal but the pain is excruciating. 

"Those bastards!" Xander would like nothing else better than to wait for whoever will come. If they don't have an army they are in serious trouble! He's got to get Rachel out of danger, however. 

"Rachel, I have to get you out of here. I know you're weak but you have to get up, honey." 

He picks her up. He can't take it. They had the guts to fuck up this sweet, gentle flower. 

He can't go to his house. They know Rachel was probably headed there. The only place he can think of is Monica's house. He knows she will be pissed off, however. He has to chance it, though. 

Monica answers her door. She sees the boy holding up Rachel. 

"Oh, Xander." 

"Monica, I have to ask you a big favor. A really dangerous favor." 

The girl closes her eyes. 

"Monica, please, I have nowhere else to go. I've got to get her out of sight." 

Monica can't refuse him. "Bring her in. My father is not going to be here." 

"Oh, God, thank you." 

"We can bring her into the basement." She helps Xander to carry her. There is a bed. They place Rachel on it. 

Xander talks to the vampire. "Rachel." 

She struggles to open her eyes. When she sees Xander she tries to jump into his arms. 

"Xander….Xander…I knew you would…find me." 

"Honey, you are okay. The holy water will wear off. I'll guard you until then." 

Monica and Xander go upstairs as Rachel passes out from the pain. 

"Monica, I had no where else to take her." 

"You have a very complicated life, Xander." 

"Please don't be mad, Monica." 

Monica notices that Xander has a nasty cut on his head. The left side of his head is all bloody as well as his sideburns and ear. 

"You're bleeding all over your head. I'll…" 

He holds up his hand to stop her. "If you could just put her up until she can move we'll leave." 

"Is this the hard Xander, again? You can't help her if you bleed to death." 

"What you said to me really hurt, Monica. I was weak and you threw it back in my face." 

"Did you mean what you said about Cindy and I, Xander?" 

"Of course not, Monica." 

"Then why would you think I did? I know that hurt you. If I could take that back, Xander, I would." 

"Me, too." 

"Okay, then sit down and let me patch you up." 

She stops the bleeding. Her heart aches for him. 

"Xander your life is impossible. I've only known you a short time but it seems like forever. You're always getting stabbed or beaten or…." 

Xander reaches out grabbing her hand. "I know it upsets you, Monica. I swear I never wanted it this way. All I ever wanted to do was help Buffy." 

"Where does Rachel fit in?" 

"She was with Angel…" 

"Xander, the only one she was with is you." 

"I know but, Angel took care of her for some reason." 

"And you killed Angelus so you feel responsible for her?" 

"She also saved my life, Monica." 

Monica shakes her head. "No wonder you scare Buffy to death. You scare me to death. I'm afraid to be your friend. You're so intense and you demand that in your friends." 

"Monica, you're not a light weight either. I can see a depth in you that rivals Rebecca. You scare me, too. You scare me like no other woman I've ever met." 

"You can double that for me. I can't even be alone with you, Xander. It's too intense. It reaches inside of me to whatever I am." 

"I…I think whatever you are I am, too. Listen, Monica, whatever you are or, we are, "One Of Them" I'll be here for you. I've figured out what I'm suppose to be doing." 

Monica starts crying. She thinks she has found out what she is suppose to be doing also but it involves Xander. 

The boy hugs her. "It will be alright somehow, Monica. Rebecca keeps telling me we have time." 

"I know, Xander, she tells me the same thing." 

"Monica, please dry your tears. I have to ask you to do something else just as hard as putting Rachel up." 

The poor girl can almost guess what it is. 

"Xander, please don't ask me to do anything that is going to put me against Buffy or, Willow or…" 

"Nobody is going to understand." 

"No, Xander." 

"Rachel is not like other vampires. She has never hunted humans. She has never plundered. In fact she has never tasted human blood. The only reason she lasted this long is because she was with Angel." 

Monica is getting the drift. She gets up, pacing. Xander continues. 

"Now, they're all, after her. She…' 

"Stop! Stop right there, Xander! I know the rest. You can't do this." 

"I have no choice." 

"Yes, you do." She goes to him, grabbing his shoulders. 

"What do you think this is going to do to Buffy?" 

"When those assassins were after me Rachel saved my life. Not for herself, for Buffy!" 

"You have all the answers, don't you. How many things are going to be after her, Xander? Are you going to take them all on? How long are you going to stay with her?" 

"As long as it takes." 

"Buffy needs you, too." She starts to cry. "I need you too, Xander." 

"Monica…" 

"How am I suppose to tell Buffy? There are some things she won't take from anybody. This is going to set her off. It's not fair for her or me. I feel guilty enough. This is the type of thing she fears the most." 

"Look, Monica, I'm not talking about some childish thing here to get her jealous…or you jealous. I'm talking about saving someone's life." 

"Yea, smart ass, but don't take that superior position with me. You have feelings for Rachel and don't try to say you don't! Buffy isn't making that up. It's very plain to see so drop the shit!" 

"I'm sorry. Look, I have to go. Please tell Buffy I'll contact her. And, please try to understand yourself." 

"I don't but, maybe some things can happen without me understanding them." 

"Monica, one thing. I didn't go get Rachel. When I told you I wouldn't I meant it. She came to my house somehow." 

This really means a lot to Monica. "Thank you, Xander. Go with Rachel. I'll wear my combat hat to tell your true love. Please come back to us in one piece. Or, at least, let me patch you up…or wipe a tear from your eye." 

They hug. It is very intense. "Go in peace, my friend." 

Xander gets Rachel up. She is still out of it but strong enough to walk with Xander's help. She is still quite groggy. Rebecca showed Xander a hidden cabin in the woods. He takes her there. From here he will plan a more permanent hide out for her.

* * *

Right after they leave Monica goes to Buffy's house. She doesn't want to bother her family so she looks for Buffy's room. Xander told her where it is located in the house. She climbs up the shrubs. Luckily her window is open. This is very nerve wracking. She calls to her. 

"Buffy! Buffy! 

The slayer hears her. She jumps up. When she sees Monica she knows it isn't something good. 

"Monica, come in. Sit on the bed. I know this has to be about Xander and I know it's not good." 

"Rachel escaped somehow. She came to Xander's house. They tortured her with holy water. He had to fight off somebody. He was afraid to stay at his house. He brought her to my house." 

"So, is she there, now?" 

"No, Buffy." 

The slayer sighs. "He's not there, either, is he?" Monica shakes her head. 

"I knew it. I knew we weren't going to keep him from this. You don't know what it's like to be in love with him." 

Monica puts her head down. 

"Maybe you do know…I'm sorry." 

"It's okay, Buffy, there's more. He said Rachel can't make it on her own right now." 

"What?" 

"He said Angelus was her protection. He killed Angelus…" 

"No!" 

"He knows you need him, too. He said she needs him more right now." 

"He went too far this time. I'm not going to accept it this time! Why didn't you try to stop him?" 

"Buffy, please." 

"Why didn't you get me?" 

"Please, Buffy." 

"You have blood on you. Xander was hurt, wasn't he?" 

She nods. 

"So you cleaned him up? I'll bet there was tears and hugs and secret arguments?" 

"It's time for me to leave, Buffy. He said he'd contact you." "Tell him to forget it!… Do you know Rachel is in love with Xander? Oh, hell, I guess that doesn't make her any different, does it?" 

"He feels as if he owes her." 

"Right, and speak honestly. If you were her wouldn't you accept it, having someone like Xander concerned about you?" 

"The very thing which makes him so damn appealing is the thing which scares the hell out of you when you're with him, right?" 

"And, what do you feel like when you ask for his exclusive love?" 

"I'm so sorry, Buffy." 

"I know you are, Monica. I'm sorry to attack you. How can you stop loving him, though? I can't. I don't even want to. Maybe Cordelia was the most honest. She told him up front he was too much for her." 

"But, he loves you with every fiber of his body, Buffy." 

"You know, my mother and father are getting back together and it's because of him. He talked Giles into letting me tell them about being the slayer. They want to know if I got him from a gold mine." 

"So long, Buffy. Count me in to patrol with you until he gets back. I've learned enough not to trip over my own feet, anyway." 

"A couple of weeks with Rebecca is like months with anyone else." 

Monica tries cracking a joke. "Is she in love with Xander, too?" 

They both enjoy a laugh. Buffy actually hugs Monica before she leaves.

* * *

Xander and Rachel arrive at the cabin. Rachel is starting to recover. She has marks all over her body. They beat her too. Xander is heart broken. 

After a short rest Rachel is able to talk. She calls for Xander. He comes to her. 

"Xander…you're in big danger!" 

"Oh, you mean more so than usual?" 

"Angel's brother is here. He wants to kill you. He will kill you." 

"I didn't even know Angel had a brother." 

"He's a twin, very dangerous. He's just like Angel except he never had a soul. Most people use to get them mixed up. His name is Lem. It's short for Lemech." 

"Okay." 

"Pay attention, Xander, before I fade out again. He rescued me but only to try to get to you. He'll befriend Buffy or anybody else to try to get you." She falls back to sleep. 

When she wakes she starts up where she left off. 

"Xander, he's dangerous. You're in danger." 

"Calm down, Rachel. Right now we have to get you out of danger. We'll worry about Angel's brother later." 

"You don't get it, Xander." 

"Yes, I do, Rachel. We're both safe here. Just relax for now." 

"I'm a freak among the vampires and I'm a freak among the humans." 

"You were never a freak to me, Rachel." 

"In all the time I've been a vampire and, even before I never met anybody like you, Xander." 

"I have to tell you this, Rachel. I'm not real popular with anybody right now." 

"I know you wanted to drop everything and come rescue me. I was hoping everybody would talk you out of it. I'm sure they reminded you that last time we saw each other I was standing with the evil ones." 

Rachel starts crying. "Xander, did…did Buffy tell you. I knew…I knew they were torturing you but…but…I didn't do anything." 

Xander hugs her. "Rachel, honey, it's okay, it's okay. I don't expect you to stand up to them." 

Rachel is still in tears. "Xander, I know what they did to you. I was a coward." 

"Rachel, you are not a coward. Please, honey, do you realize what you mean to me. I am not mad at you. I know why you were standing with my mother and father. I know you have to pay dues. I know you couldn't stop them." 

"Xander, they wanted me to help lure you into a trap. I wouldn't do it. That was not my voice you heard calling you. I refused to help." 

"Thank you, Rachel. You know you have risked your life many times for me. I would have died when that assassin got me. You patched me up when the monster attacked me. That was the first time we met. Do you remember?" 

Rachel nods. "You have done nothing but save me and care for me and love me even though we can't be together. I know how hard that must be for you. But, you still do it." 

"Rachel, you have nothing to be ashamed of with me." 

He fondles her face. "Look, let's be sad we live on Hellmouth. Let's cry because of our circumstances. But, never think you're letting me down. The fact that you are my friend is one of the things that lets me wake up in the morning. The fact that you're beautiful and loving and sweet means the evil didn't win out." 

Rachel knew Xander would take away her burden. She knew he would make her feel better. She knew it. 

"Oh, Xander, thank you. I love you so much." They hug for a long time. 

The fact that Rachel is all right causes Xander's heart to soar. He thought for sure he was going to find her dead or, not find her at all. 

"Rachel, there is a discussion we have to have. And, I want you to take it very seriously." 

"Yes, Xander, I will." 

"You know how I feel about you so this is said in love. I doubt your ability to survive in your world or mine right now." 

Rachel closes her eyes as he continues. "We have to get you somewhere you can function without having to pay vampire dues." 

"I see and, I guess you have decided to stay with me until we do that, right?" 

"Something like that." 

"Oh, and what does your heart throb think of that idea?" 

"Didn't I give you the flowers and candy she sent?" 

Rachel actually manages to laugh at that. But, then she gets serious. 

"Xander, lets look at the price you are paying for this save. Your mother and father and spike and Drusilla are after you because you help the slayer and because you have now officially helped me. Angel's brother is after you because you killed Angel. And, your own people now think you went off the deep end. Whose in worse shape, Xander?" 

"Look, woman, you're stuck with me right now. I have a few ideas." 

"This isn't a done deal yet, Xander. I can't let you…" 

"What, you can't let me save your life the way you saved mine?" 

"I think we're even, Xander." 

This actually hurts him. "Rachel, this isn't about being even." 

The vampire sighs. "Xander, I almost forgot the depth of your heart. In fact, I try not to think about it at all. It's a little too much for me." 

Xander tries to lighten up the mood. "What's the matter Queenie? A little attention from a broken down daemon hunter is too much for you? If you get to feeling too good we'll call up Buffy and I'll let her give you her opinion of what I'm doing. I'm sure that will pull us both down to earth." 

"You are still always crazy, aren't you?" 

"In the world we live in going crazy is actually a healthy reaction." 

"Seriously, Xander, the slayer needs you more than you think. You have to be really careful of her feelings." 

"I know, Rachel, I don't take this lightly. Deep down Buffy knows I love her. Sometimes I have to rely on that to pull her through. I know she loves me. It carries me through everything." 

"Xander, that is true but, she is still very young. She is still struggling with her destiny. It drives her crazy that she can't just love you. You're so dangerous. She is so afraid of losing you." 

"Are you suddenly the expert on Buffy Summers?" 

"Don't get upset, Xander. I just want to make sure you don't blow the one thing which keeps your heart beating." 

"Okay, Rachel, let's talk business. If we change your appearance around a little bit we can probably find a good place for you to hide out for a few decades or so." 

"Xander, how did you get so many contacts?" 

"I don't know it just seemed to happen." 

"So, we're taking off to the hills?" 

"I guess you could say that. Listen, did we jump the gun here? Do you need to talk about what they did to you?" 

"No, I would rather not." 

"Why, don't you feel comfortable enough…" 

"No, Xander, that's not the reason. I just…I would rather not." 

"Okay. Did they find out about the Malcolm business?" 

"No, this was strictly to get you." 

"But then Lem rescued you?" 

"Yea, that was weird but, that was to get you, too." 

"Things just seem to go down hill for me sometimes." 

"Did you ever sit down to figure out just how many daemons want you dead?" 

"I can't think about it. The only thing I know right now is that I'm not prepared to live my life without you in it as my friend." 

"Xander, you are a great man and having you as a friend is the most important thing in my life. The problem is keeping it on a friendship level. I'm sure you know that if it wasn't for your precious slayer we would be between the sheets all the time." 

Xander is shocked. Rachel just came out with it. Rachel notices it. 

"What's the matter, oh mighty daemon slayer, cat got your tongue?" 

"You're pretty outspoken for a vampire." 

"I can't help it." 

"I think we better come up with a plan, Rachel. This is getting just a little too…something." 

Rachel gathers her control. "Yes, I'm sorry." 

They stare at each other for a moment. But, Xander is not going to make Buffy's worst nightmare come true. He has to learn that these emotional situations don't always have to end with him between the sheets with someone. He is spoken for. If he wants to have these intense friendships and wants the woman he loves to support him then he better grow up and not play around. 

If he is telling Buffy that it is possible to have loyalty to friends without it being a danger to their relationship then he has to make sure it's not bullshit. 

After a good night's sleep in separate rooms Xander and Rachel begin to make plans for her getaway. Xander gets in touch with Linda. She arranges for a note to be sent to Oz. Xander wants him to help. 

* * *

In the meantime some of the gang meets in the library to discuss the latest event. 

Giles addresses Monica. "He didn't say how long he would be away?" 

"No, he just said as long as it took to get her safe." 

Oz knows he has to tell everyone of the note. 

"Ah…Xander got in touch with me." 

Buffy immediately jumps up. "He came to you?" 

"No, Buff, it was a messenger." 

Buffy closes her eyes. 

Oz continues. He hands the note to Buffy. It has a personal message for her. She gives it back to Oz without comment. 

"He'd like me to help him. I've decided to do it." 

He doesn't even look at Willow. He leaves. Buffy and Willow just look at each other. Willow excuses herself. She runs after Oz. 

"Oz!" 

He stops. He lets out with a sigh. She catches up to him. 

"Oz, weren't you even going to say so long." 

"I…I didn't think you would…" 

The redhead stops him with a kiss. Oz is shocked. 

"Just make sure you come back to me, Oz." 

"I will, honey." 

Willow watches him leave. She goes back to the meeting. 

After awhile Cordelia comes in, late as always. This time, however she comes in almost breathless. Buffy sees her first. 

"What's the matter, Cordelia, you look like you've seen a ghost?" 

The brunette points behind her. 

In through the library door comes a person (sic) who is the spitting image of our favorite deceased vampire, Angel. 

Buffy can't believe it. She stands up "Angel?" 

"You must be Buffy. I can tell by the way you said my brother's name." 

The slayer recovers shaking a stake down from her sleeve. She gets between the visitor and the Scooby gang. 

Everyone is stunned. Giles speaks. 

"Brother, you're Angel's brother?" 

"Yes, and we're the same except I didn't lose my soul when Angel did." 

He looks directly at Buffy. "But, I don't blame him in the least for what he did to lose it now that I've had a chance to meet the slayer." 

Giles continues. "Whatever…but, you were part of the original curse?" 

"Or cure, which ever way you prefer to look at it. I personally prefer this life to the other one but I don't have quite as much to feel guilty about." 

Buffy is transfixed. Is he Angel without the guilt? Lem can see her reaction and plans to take full advantage of it. 

Rebecca joins the questioning. "Why are you here, Lem?" 

"I know this is very weird for all of you, especially you, Buffy. I'd like to know the story of what happened to my brother." He goes to Buffy. He puts his hand on her shoulder. 

"I don't mean to stir up any painful memories for you, Buffy." 

"No, no, you have a right to know I guess. I could give you the short version right now. I met Angel when I was very young. We had a thing together. But, when we got intimate it changed him back to Angelus. Neither of us knew it would happen." 

"As Angelus he terrorized us. He killed my boyfriend's parents and turned them into vampires. He killed Giles love, Jenny Calendar. We tried a spell to get him back but it backfired. Finally, Xander, my boyfriend, killed him." 

"I'm sorry for the pain he caused you." 

"We're sorry for your loss, too. We tried to bring him back, we really did." 

Lem has to sit down. Buffy can't believe it. This is almost too much for her. He looks so much like Angel it's eerie. 

Lem speaks. "I know he was very evil as Angelus but…it still hurts." 

Buffy chimes right in. "I know, Lem. It does. But, Xander tried to bring him back." 

"Is Xander here?" 

"No, but he'll be back." 

Rebecca is skeptical. "Lem, why haven't we ever seen you before." 

"Well, I always meant to come around but Angel and I weren't exactly on friendly terms. Then, once he turned back I really didn't want to be near him." 

He looks at Buffy. "I don't mean I blame you or anything like that, Buffy." 

"No…no…it was my fault, Lem. I admit it." 

Lem shakes his head. "I think my brother may have had some thing to do with it, also." 

Lem is too much. He is charming and witty and very easy going. He really has Buffy's attention. He starts telling stories of Angel when he was human. Buffy is finding out more about her ex from Lem than she ever learned from the brooding one himself. 

Lem has real charisma. He is Angel with a personality. Even though he's a vampire he laughs, even changes facial expressions. 

When the meeting breaks up Buffy and Willow stay with Lem. Giles and Rebecca go into Giles office. 

"What do you think, Rebecca?" 

"I wouldn't tell him the family secrets." 

"I'll have to hit the books. It seems to me I have heard of a double of Angel somewhere. Or, at least, an incidence where he appeared to be in two places at once." 

"I suppose this means I'll be sleeping alone for a couple of nights?" 

"I'll be with you in spirit, Rebecca." 

"I don't think that works in this particular case, Rupert. It's your physical presence which I crave." 

"Well, perhaps Lem can wait until tomorrow." 

"Ooh, Rupert, live on the edge!" They embrace in a very passionate kiss. 

"This is very exciting, Rupert, I have always wanted to be able to tear you away from all that stuffy reading." 

"Well, Becky, I trust my break from tradition will prove to be worth the sacrifice?" 

"On that you can depend my good man. By all means!" 

"Well then, perhaps I shall allow you to lead the way." 

The older people retire for the evening. 

In the mean time Willow, Devon, Buffy and Lem head for the Bronze. On the way two vampires jump out at them. Buffy dusts one then focuses on the other. As she is dispatching him to the wind a third vamp attacks her. Lem saves her. Buffy looks at him. 

"Thank you for saving me. You only have about one hundred more times to equal your brother." 

"Well, it is very tempting to stay around to try to catch up to him….Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." 

Buffy holds up her hand. "That's okay, no offense taken." 

Willow asks Lem a question. "You don't dance by any chance, do you?" 

"Sure, even people with two left feet like me learn after a hundred years or so." 

Willow looks at Buffy. "Angel with humor." 

He's not half bad on the dance floor. Buffy dances with him. He is charming and witty. Buffy can use that right now. Xander has her all stressed out. Because of his likeness to Angel Buffy gets comfortable with him quickly. 

Monica and Cordelia don't share Buffy and Willow's affection for him. The two walk home together. Monica speaks first. 

"I don't know what it is but the guy really gives me the creeps. And, I never even met Angel." 

"Don't you get the idea that if Xander were here there would be a fight." 

"The first time he casually touched her." 

"This has to be particularly freaky for Buffy." 

"She had a very weird look on her face. Let's keep comparing notes, Cordelia."

* * *

Xander and Rachel sit by the fireplace in the cabin. Xander looks at the vampire. 

"Here we sit. One vampire who is almost not a vampire and one, whatever I am, who has half the daemon world after him. More things want us dead than want us alive." 

"Yea, and all we are is sweet, too!" 

"Innocent, peace loving." 

"Good looking!" 

Xander adds. "Muscular. 

"Sexy!" 

"Ah oh, the two vibrant, alive, sort of, lithe, winowy freedom fighters sitting in front of a beautiful, warm, romantic fire…afraid to look at each other. He, hopelessly in love with a mean and nasty slayer princess and she, a super experienced vampire goddess, not wanting to corrupt the morals of the innocent boy sitting beside her." 

Rachel is laughing very heartily. The vampire is feeling much better. Xander gets serious. 

"Rachel, will Lem hurt any of my friends?" 

"Only if they stand in his way of getting to you. But, Xander, he has very haunting ways about him. He knows you have very reliable contacts in the underground. He has probably decided not to try to track you down." 

"Which means he is concentrating on Buffy?" 

"Yes, and he is very persuasive. And he really gets off on being charming and romantic. He never just kills." 

"Shit, they're all like that. They all like to think they have this romantic Dracula thing going. They all like to think the girl really wants to have the blood sucked from her veins." 

"Yea, Xander, but some are better at it than others." 

"Is he as tough as Angel?" 

"He's even stronger than Angel if you can imagine that." 

"Truthfully, do you think I'll be able to take him?" 

"Not if Buffy weakens you." 

"What?" 

"Honey, I'm sorry. He's very good at exploiting any situation." 

Xander puts two and two together. His resemblance to Angel, Buffy's guilt in changing him into Angelus, her anger at him for leaving, her loneliness with him gone. 

"Oh, shit!" 

It's like having the whole Angel thing back again. 

Xander shakes himself out of those thoughts. First things first. 

"Rachel, first we have to get you safe. I have to go meet Oz. He's going to help. 

Xander goes to his rendezvous place to wait for Oz. When he is sure he is not being followed he greets him. 

"Thanks for coming Oz." 

"No problem." 

"How did Willow take it?" 

"Surprisingly very well." 

"Could I ask you how Buffy is?" 

"Angry." 

"Did you meet Angel's brother, yet?" 

"Angel's brother?" 

"Yea, his twin brother. He's after me. He's the one who rescued Rachel. We think he's going to try to go to Buffy." 

"Sounds like fun." Xander runs down the whole scene to Oz. 

They go back to the cabin. Rachel greets Oz. The wolf is very supportive. 

"I'm glad you're still in one piece, Rachel." 

"Thanks for volunteering to help, Oz." 

"You're really one of the good guys, Rachel. I just hope we can keep you away from your friends." 

Oz hugs the vampire tightly. She can feel his strength. 

"Well, I get the idea that as long as I have the two of you on my side nobody would ever get to me." 

They exchange a warm smile. 

Xander leaves to visit Whistler. Oz waits with Rachel. They are going to be picked up by someone who will take them to have Rachel's appearance changed. 

A young woman arrives in a van. They get Rachel in the back. Oz jumps in the front seat. 

As they ride the woman looks at Oz. "Are we allowed to talk to each other?" 

"I thought it was your call." 

"I already know who you are. You're Oz." 

"Well, then I should at least get to know your name." 

"I'm Shelia." 

Shelia fits the mold of Xander's other contacts in the underground although Xander has never met her. She has jet-black hair like Rachel but her build is much more athletic. She definitely works out and it's not to firm up her body parts. Everything about this girl screams serious. She has that pain in her eyes, which bespeaks tragedy. Oz can tell Hellmouth has marked her in some way. She has that blank stare. 

"Are you a friend of Xander?" 

"I'm a friend in spirit but I've never met him." 

"Do you just help people because it's the right thing to do?" 

"You mean like you guys do?" 

Oz nods. "Angelus wiped out my whole family, mother, father, my brothers and sisters. He even got my aunts and uncles." 

"Oh, Shelia, I'm very sorry." 

"Thanks, Oz." 

"Where do you live?" 

"By myself." 

Oz gets a cold chill down his spine. This young woman can't be more than seventeen years old. She's all alone already. Oz can't help it. He stares at her. She begins to feel uncomfortable. Oz catches himself. 

"I'm sorry, Shelia, I don't mean to stare at you. It just hit me how some people have a lot to deal with." 

Shelia senses a compassion and warmth in Oz that she could really use. She just met him but already she feels as if he can sense her pain. Just in that act of caring Oz has made her feel better than she has since her family was slaughtered. 

The duo drops Rachel off at the predetermined place then stop to get something to drink. Shelia has had no relief for months. She has even been afraid to let her guard down. She can feel herself relax in his presence. 

They talk about Hellmouth and the underground and the constant danger. Oz even tells her about his wolfiness. 

"Listen, Shelia, we have a night club called the Bronze. We dance and chill out there." 

"You mean you actually do some normal things?" "Well, it's never quite normal but, we do have some fun. If I pick you up some time you think you might want to spend some time there. The one good thing is that everybody in the crowd is pathetic just like us." 

Shelia laughs for the first time in a long while. 

"Well, now you sold me on it." 

"You don't have to worry about the danger. We have plenty of firepower available. We usually dance, run outside and kill a vampire or two, then dance some more. All in a night's play." 

Oz is actually talking sharing more with Shelia than he usually shares in a week at home. She really needs it, too. 

They talk about everything. Oz practically shares his whole life story with her. He does leave out one part. He doesn't mention Willow. Shelia knows he has a girl friend but she doesn't mention her either. 

* * *

Go on to Part Eight 

* * *

  
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	27. Chapter 8

* * *

Part Eight--The One Thing That Could Shake His Love 

* * *

Back in Sunnydale Lem has been waxing very friendly with the gang. He is just waiting for Xander to show. Buffy is starting to get worried. She hasn't heard from Xander. Her and Lem are becoming quite friendly. The vampire tries to find out about the boy but not to the extent of causing suspicion. 

The brain trust has not shared any secrets with him. Buffy is naturally tight lipped so she has not told him anything of importance. 

Willow and the slayer talk. "No word from our Xander, Buff?" 

"Nope, nothing. I don't even know if he's dead or alive. I don't even know where he is. Well, if Rachel has her way I know where he is." 

"Same with Oz, nothing. We both could have predicted he would help Rachel but he hasn't even gotten in touch with you. It's been almost a week. Something must be wrong." 

"Snyder caught me in the hallway, yesterday. He must know about Xander and me. He told me if I don't get him into the office this week he's not going to graduate." 

Buffy sighs. Willow can tell she is ready to break down. 

"Willow, I honestly and truly don't know how much my heart can take. I need him so much. It's still like a storybook romance with us but this is torture. There is so much going on all the time. Maybe this is the thing that could bring us down? I have to think to myself, what if I was with Lem? He's heavy but he's…" 

"He's not heavy like Xander and Oz." 

"What if Rachel needs him for a year or, two years?" 

"Angel was simple compared to Xander." 

"Yea, imagine a two hundred year old vampire being light weight." 

"Buffy, is Lem just like being with Angel?" 

"Willow, he's Angel without the flaws." 

"What is Xander going to do when he sees him?" 

"Freak out." 

"Well, you have to put up with Rachel and Leslie and Linda and…" 

"Please, Will…" 

"I'm sorry, Buffy. Xander will just have to understand that you can have friends, too." 

Buffy thinks about that. He sure is easy to be with. The more time Lem spends with the gang the more comfortable they become with him. 

Giles has been doing research. He has surprisingly come up with a mention of a possible brother for Angel but it is not Lem. There is mention of a Baruch but no Lem. He questions Lem. 

"He was the real black sheep of the family, a half brother really. We weren't really close in either life." 

"Interesting, no matter how much I read or study there is always more. Say, you wouldn't happen to have access to any old codexes or extant volumes as your brother did, would you?" 

"None I can think of at the moment, Giles, but I'll keep my eyes open."

* * *

Oz spends some time with Shelia so Xander can work a little magic for Rachel. When he arrives back at the cabin he does so in a very large stretch limousine. He beeps the horn for her to come out. 

When Xander emerges from the limo he is clothed in a formal tuxedo. Rachel is stunned. 

"Xander, what…" 

"Please just do as I say. Get into the back seat. Put the clothes on you find there. Then come back out to me." 

Xander has a CD player and various CDs. He moves all the furniture in the cabin to clear a dance floor. 

When he goes back out Rachel is standing there. She is now attired in a very beautiful and stylish formal gown. It enhances her exquisite beauty to a tee. Xander stares with his mouth open. Rachel is pleased. 

"Xander, are you crazy? What are we doing?" 

"Well, if I remember correctly you told me one of the small sorrows you had was not participating in the formal dance which your school held. The one all the girls in your village looked forward to attending. We call it a prom. I thought maybe we could see what it might have been like." 

"Of course, I realize it is very presumptuous of me to even think someone of your stature would ever go to the prom with me… Will you go with me?" 

Rachel is really moved. She is almost in tears. "Xander, I…I would go anywhere with you right now." 

"Oh, good." He pins a corsage to her dress. As he is doing it he can't help but to notice how unbelievably gorgeous the woman is. 

"Now, I've danced with you before but I don't know how well you can do over the long haul." 

She listens attentively as he continues. "I have some fast songs and some slow songs and some more fast songs. I would like nothing more than to dance the night away with you. No threats of death or heavy planning or fighting. Just you and I and the music. You think you can handle that, Rachel?" 

"Lead the way, oh mighty daemon slayer." 

They dance and dance and dance some more. Xander has some wine. 

"Can you drink?" 

"Wine." 

"That's right. We all got drunk at Linda's house, didn't we?" 

"You may have gotten drunk, Xander, but I never get drunk." 

"If I remember right there was a certain vampire who got quite lose after a few guzzles of Linda's wine of the gods." 

"Oh, that wasn't the time that this young daemon fighter started having these sudden urges, was it?" 

Xander laughs. "Oh, you remember that." 

"Yes, Xander, I hate to tell you this but your little fantasy of you being this young, innocent nerd is just that, fantasy." 

"Hey, now, don't burst my bubble." 

They both guzzle some wine. Rachel gets very serious. She gets close to Xander. She fondles his face. 

"Xander, I want you to know that you have brought me more happiness than I have ever known before." 

She starts to cry. She continues speaking in between the tears. "It is so hard for me not to be with you, Xander. I was so scared when they were torturing you. Then, when they wanted me to help capture you…" 

They both cry. They should cry. It is always sad when love is unrequited. Xander knows what it feels like. 

"Xander, you know I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or even, bad." 

"Yea, I do know, Rachel. I know what we're doing here. And it's okay. I don't feel guilty because I know that you would never do anything to make me feel bad. You're just expressing what is in your heart." 

This is one of the many reasons Rachel loves Xander. He can take her somewhere else. Even in the midst of her greatest sorrow he can pick her up. 

He continues. "We had a relationship, Rachel. Buffy knows that. She also knows that it was good and that you're good. I would never down the relationship we had in the same way Buffy would never down her relationship with Angel. I understood why Buffy needed Angel and I hope Buffy understands the place you will always have in my life." 

"Xander, you are a silver tongued devil. You have this way. I don't have you. You are not mine yet somehow I almost feel like you are. " 

"Well, Rachel I hope it's not just bullshit?" 

Xander looks at his watch. They don't have much time. 

"Are you all danced out?" 

"How about a slow one?" 

"One for the road." 

They put as much feeling into the last dance as possible. When they finish. 

"Xander, I will never forget this as long as I live. It was magic. You are magic." 

"Rachel…it will be much safer if….if I don't know where you are either." 

They have one last tearful hug. 

Shelia is outside with Oz. "I am so glad I met you, Oz." 

"Same here, Shelia. Oh, Shelia….I'm really sorry I didn't tell you this but….I…I have a girl friend. A very good girl friend. It was just we…you and I…" 

Shelia fondles his face. "Oz, I know you go with Willow. We just seem to have this instant bond and I was just pretending for awhile." 

They embrace very warmly. Shelia agrees to come to the Bronze. 

Xander goes to Shelia. They hug. "Thank you Shelia. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to get acquainted." 

"Well, maybe I'll see you at the Bronze." 

"Yea, okay. We'll show you a good time. I mean as good a time as you can have in good old Sunnyhell." 

Rachel gets into the limo. Xander hopes this isn't the last time he sees her. He can't help it. He has to give her one last memory. He jumps into the back seat. 

"Rachel, please take care of yourself." 

They enjoy a very passionate goodbye kiss. 

Oz and Xander watch the limo disappear down the road. They look at each other. 

"Now, the hard part." 

"Oz, I don't think Lem will be alone. Rachel said he has a following." 

"I sorry to say this but he's probably hoping Buffy will try to stop you." 

"Yea, I was afraid to think about that before but I guess I have to think about it now." 

"We need some kind of an edge, Xander." 

"I know. Are you up for a little visit to our favorite blonde- headed vampire?" 

"We better pick him up some wine from Linda." 

"Took the words out of my mouth. Hey Oz, do you mind if I ask you something?" 

"Shoot." 

"Shelia, it looked like you two sort of meshed in a hurry." 

"Angelus wiped out her whole family. We should have killed the bastard, sooner. I think your heart throb has a lot to think about, Xander." 

"I know, Oz. After my parents were killed I actually hated her for a short time." 

"I respect her and you but I have a lot of anger toward her sometimes, Xander. This is one of those times. Shelia is too young to be all alone." 

"The only thing I can say, Oz, is that she knows it. I really get afraid sometimes that it's all too much for her. She was so damn young when she met Angel. If I had it to do all over again I would have went after that bastard a long time before I did." 

"Yea, but you didn't know you could take him, Xander. She knew she could take him…I'm really sorry to lay this on you, man, but Shelia really got to me. Some people have to put up with a lot." 

Xander doesn't know what to say. Oz is really upset. The wolf continues. 

"Everybody fucks up. But, when we fuck up somebody dies." 

"I understand. I feel the same way. I had to do this with Rachel." 

"I get it. I keep telling Willow. We have to grow up. We all have to use what we have to save people whom we need. Without Rachel the whole Malcolm thing doesn't work." 

Oz has a lot to say. Xander doesn't want to interrupt. The wolf must have been saving this up for a long time. This is more than Oz says in a whole month sometimes. 

"I hate to keep jumping on Buffy, Xander, but she really puts you through a lot." 

"I know, Oz, but she gives me a lot, too. I understand her whole gig. Even though she has all of us she is still the slayer. Sometimes it's all on her. Even I can't be there for her all the time." 

"Yea, man, but you're the key. Xander, I remember when you were pinning away for her. You hung in there and it really paid off. If her loving you is what you wanted in life then you got it in a big way, man." 

He continues. "You should see her when you're either hurt or off on some rescue mission. Which, come to think of it, is quite often. Man, she is one unhappy camper." 

Xander has to laugh. "And she tells me you have to straighten her out sometimes." 

"It's like walking into a blazing fire." 

"Yea, Man, but she needs that. Thanks, Oz." 

"It's all for the cause. Speaking of which, I have your back or your front. Whichever way you want it with Lem." 

"It might be my front. If Buffy is in my face…" 

He doesn't finish but oz gets it. 

They get their stuff together to go back. As they are riding. 

"Oz, that's a good thing you did for Shelia. The only problem is Willow is gonna freak." 

"I know, man, but what do you do? She really needed somebody to be with her. She was holding all that inside." 

"Hey, I understand. But, I think sometimes Buffy and Willow think it's bullshit." 

"I would never consciously hurt Willow." 

"I wouldn't hurt Buffy either. I still can't believe she loves me but this whole Hellmouth thing really gets to both of them. They need us." 

"I need Willow, too." 

"It tore me up for awhile but I have to admit I need Buffy, too." 

"If I ever lost Willow…" 

"Oz, I never told you this but…You know Willow use to have this thing for me. But, she never looked at me the way she looks at you. When I first saw her gaze at you with those eyes of hers I…I was really jealous. That's why I wasn't exactly friendly." 

The wolf laughs. "I knew you were. I was afraid Willow would notice." 

"If it's any consolation to you I don't think it would have mattered. Once the Oz man came into the picture the puppy love grew up. I didn't stand a chance, man!" 

"Willow still cares about you." 

"Now, it's her and Buffy against us." 

"Well, at least you knew Willow for years. Buffy, wow. When I have to stand up to her. She gets this look in her eyes when you're not around. She is loaded for bear."

* * *

They go to Linda's house to get some wine. The sorceress talks to Oz. 

"Oz, what did you do for Shelia? She was just over here. I've never seen her so happy. I see you've joined your buddy here in bringing good cheer to all." 

"I'm glad I could help her, Linda." 

"Oz, don't worry. If you explain it right to Willow she'll understand." 

Xander has a question. "Linda, how is Leslie? I keep missing her." 

"She is wonderful, Xander. She learns so fast. Soon she'll be ready to join you guys." 

"Tell her I said hello." 

As they are leaving Linda goes to Xander. She knows he has to face an Angel look a like. 

"Xander, are you okay, honey?" 

"I have felt better, Linda." 

"I know what you're going home to face, Xander. I'm very sorry." 

She hugs him very tightly. She puts a little extra into it. Xander really feels her warmth. When they break. 

"What was that, Linda?" 

"I am a sorceress, honey." 

"I really felt your warmth and power." 

"Your life is so hard, Xander. Go in peace…and take care of that bastard! And, then come back and we'll party. Please bring somebody who's single. How about that Devon, he's cute?" 

"I promise I'll bring some single guys."

* * *

They arrange a meeting with Spike. The vampire comes in with a smirk on his face. Oz throws him the wine. 

"Shall we toast to Rachel?" 

Xander smiles. "I was looking for her. I was going to ask you if you saw here." "Always the comic, Harris. What do you want?" 

"Do you want Lemech?" 

"He's gone. That's where I want him. Dru got all weak kneed." 

"Yea, there's a lot of that going around. You know what I mean, Spike." 

"Take this as a compliment, Harris. I have every confidence that you'll take care of the bloody freak." 

"And, if I don't then you have one less good guy to deal with." 

"You're catching on. If you ever decide to give the other side a chance." 

"That's appealing Spike but I don't like the company you keep." 

"Hey, I don't like them either." 

"Well, I don't like your choice in soul mates either." 

"Oh, that torture thing. You can't hold a grudge, bloke. She's sorry. You know you have the poor girl terrified you're going to get revenge." 

"Oh, well, I wouldn't want to cause Dru any discomfort. Tell her all is forgiven. In fact how about the two of you coming for supper some time." 

"You got anything else, mate?" 

"See you later, Spike.

* * *

They leave to go back to Sunnydale. Xander goes to a pre-determined place. Xander and Oz both feel that Lem will follow Buffy. Oz goes to see the slayer. Willow is with her. Buffy only wants to know one thing. 

"Where is Xander, Oz?" 

"Buffy, I'll take you to him but, you do know Lem is here to kill Xander, right?" 

"No he's not, Oz." 

"Look, slayer, I know he's probably got you wrapped around his finger by now but…" 

Willow interrupts him. "Oz, what is that supposed to mean?" 

"Lem rescued Rachel just to get to Xander. He knew he wouldn't be able to find us in the underground so he came here." 

Buffy is angry. "Lem came to find out what happened to Angel." 

"Yea, and I guess you got all buddy, buddy with him, right?" 

"What the hell is your problem, Oz?" 

"Look, slayer, do you want to see Xander or not?" 

"Of course I do but, what's the secret?" 

"I'll take you to him and I guarantee Lem follows us. Actually we're planning on it. We want to get him on our terms." 

"You and your underground buddy better not hurt him, Oz." 

"Tell it to Xander, Buffy. I don't want to hear it!" 

Oz walks ahead. Buffy talks to Willow. 

"God, he's just like Xander, Will." 

"I've never seen him this hard, Buffy." 

"I know Xander is angry but he better not just attack Lem." 

Buffy goes with Oz. Willow goes to get the rest of the gang. 

They go to an old railroad yard just out of town. Buffy goes into a cabin. Oz stays outside to look for Lem. 

Xander doesn't even greet her. 

"Buffy, you do know Lem is going to try to kill me, right? And, then he'll probably kill you." 

"No he's not, Xander, and I don't want you to hurt him, either." 

"Buffy, I don't have any time for your childish bullshit!" 

Xander keeps looking out the window. 

"You want to calm down, Xander?" 

"I'm not going to calm down, Buffy." 

"Why do you keep looking out the window, Xander?" 

"Look, Buffy, Lem is here for one reason. Now, as soon as he comes here there's going to be a fight. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tear me apart before he even gets to me." 

"I know you're jealous, Xander…" 

He interrupts her. "This has nothing to do with jealousy. Why…Is there a reason I should be jealous?" 

"Xander, Lem is here to find out what happened to his brother." 

"Yea, and he's been hanging with you, hasn't he?" 

Buffy doesn't answer. "Where the hell have you been for two weeks, Xander?" 

"Wait a minute, Slayer, you didn't answer my question." 

Xander looks out the window. He sees Lem. 

"Here he comes Buffy. Are you still going to be in my face?" 

"Xander, you can't do this. You can't just come and go as you please. If you go through with this we're in even more trouble than we are now." 

They both go outside. Buffy talks to him. 

"What are you doing here, Lem?" 

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright." 

Xander speaks up. "Yea, Lem, you weren't following her, were you?" 

"Well, this is dangerous territory. You can never be too careful." 

Oz sneaks around in the woods surrounding the cabin. He comes upon a daemon with a crossbow. 

"What the hell would you be fixing to do with that?" 

Before the daemon can get it's bearings Oz has him staked. The wolf circles to the other side of the woods. Low and behold he sees another daemon with a similar weapon. He quickly dispatches it. 

Lem and Xander are still talking. 

"I have to hand it to you, Lemech, you fooled my ex here." 

Buffy stares at Xander. She caught that. 

This creep looks just like Angel. The Boy Wonder starts to relive the whole "Angel" thing. His anger is with Buffy as well as with Lemech. 

He looks at Buffy. The look on her face tells him that she still thinks Lem to be legitimate. It really pisses him off. 

"Wait a minute, what did he tell you?" He looks at Lem. "What did you tell them?" 

"I'll bet you told them you had a soul." 

He looks at Buffy. "You can't talk to him now but later ask Giles to look in "The Tombstone Diaries", volume 3. He'll find out everything he needs to find out about our Angel look alike here." 

"Now, Lemech, are you going to try to do what you came here to do?" 

Oz comes out behind him. The whole gang is here, now. 

"Oh, Lem. Were you looking for your friends? I had to have a serious talk with them. If the wind starts blowing this way you should see them float by." 

Xander looks at the now outnumbered Vampire. 

"Well, shit, Lem. Look at that. All of a sudden you're all alone. Unless, of course, the slayer decides to help you." 

Xander looks at Buffy with as hard a look as she has seen on him. She just closes her eyes. 

Xander continues, "I'll still make it fair, Lem. Just me and you." 

Buffy is worried. "No, Xander, don't do that!" 

"Buffy, stay the hell out of my way." 

The slayer goes to him. "Xander, please." 

Oz has had enough of Buffy's shit. He calmly loads an arrow into his crossbow. He takes aim and fires. 

The arrow pierces the vampire heart high. Without further ado Lem bursts into ashes. 

Oz throws the crossbow down disgustedly. He walks up to Buffy. 

"That was for Shelia, slayer. You got a problem with it? When are you ever going to learn to trust Xander? The wolf looks at the Boy Wonder. 

"I'm gonna go back to the cabin for awhile. Maybe I'll see you there." 

Oz walks away. He doesn't even say good bye to Willow. 

Xander stares at Buffy. "Did you have to go with him, Buffy?" 

"Oh no, Xander, that's your game. How's your vampire Queen?" 

"Safe." 

"I think you better go with Oz, Xander." 

He reluctantly walks away, catching up to Oz.

* * *

Buffy and Willow have to sort out what is happening. First Xander leaves with Rachel. Then Oz joins him. Then they come back into town, kill Lem and then leave again. 

They have a meeting. Buffy tells Giles what Xander said. 

"Giles, check out Volume 3 of the Tombstone Chronicles." 

"The Tombstone chronicles, how…" 

"Just check them, Giles, please." 

Giles comes back ten minutes later with a book that looks like it hadn't been read in ages. He has to blow the dust off it. After five minutes of silence the librarian speaks. 

"Very interesting." 

"What is very interesting, Giles?" 

"It says here that Lemech wiped out two towns in Arizona in 1943." 

"So?" 

Willow answers for him. "Buffy, it means he couldn't have had a soul." 

The slayer and the witch look at each other. 

"That means Xander was right." She shakes her head, sighing. Her heart aches. 

Willow and Buffy go to Giles's office. 

"Xander was right again, Will." 

"Is he always right on these things, Buffy?" 

"I don't know when I'm ever going to trust his judgement, Will. Actually, I do. It's just this other stuff gets in the way." 

"Did we lose them both, Buffy?" 

Willow continues. "Buff, can I tell you something without you getting mad?" 

"Spill it, Will." 

"The both of you are so jealous. You should see your face whenever Xander even thinks about somebody else." 

"Yea, Will, but look at who I have to compete with all the time? Rachel is beautiful. She is so gentle and sweet to him. And, his wife, Monica. I swear she thinks they're married. I even heard Leslie is coming back." 

"Buffy, now Oz is like that, too. I bet everybody will think he's a hero now just because he killed those daemons." 

"Well, I hate to say this, Will, but he actually is a hero." 

"Now he's going to be in all the books like you and Xander. He'll have to get himself an all star girl friend." 

"Willow, I'm sorry, but I've never seen Oz the way he was today." 

"He didn't even say goodbye." 

"I know. Xander didn't even kiss me. In fact he didn't say anything nice to me. And, now he's gone, again." 

"Well, you did tell him to go, Buff. He was fuming. You could see it. It must have brought the whole angel thing back." 

"I know. Being with Lem seemed so simple but I should have known." 

She sighs. "One of these days Xander is just going to leave me. Everybody else makes him feel good. I know he still loves me but one day he's going to see how ridiculous that is. He saves Rachel. Then he comes back to save me but all I give him is grief." 

"You can't help it." 

"I can't?" 

"Buff, you are the most together person I know but you have this thing when you're with Xander. You're still strong. In fact you two together are unstoppable but you just change when you're around him." 

"Oh, I see. Would I be anything like a certain witch when a wolf comes calling?" 

"Are we pathetic, Buffy?" 

"I'm afraid so, Will." 

"Are they going to be all hard and everything when they come back?" 

"Yep. But I'm not giving Xander back his ring even if he asks for it. I'll run away." 

They look at each other. "Yep, we're pathetic!"

* * *

Xander and Oz are at the cabin. 

"Xander, I need your opinion. Knowing Willow as you do. Is she going to be mad at me?" 

"Yep, she's going to call you hard Oz because you killed those three daemons. Hell, I call you hard Oz. That was too much, Oz!" 

"Well, man, you take the heat all the time." 

"Not this time I didn't." 

"Well, you still took it." 

"Yea, I know, Buffy. Damn it, she had to make friends with that son of a bitch." 

"Shall we go back, Xander?" 

"Yea, why not. If I don't get to school…" 

* * *

Xander and Oz go to the library for the meeting. Buffy, Willow, Amy, Monica, Cindy, Devon and his friend, Jim, Cordelia, Rebecca and Giles are all there. They have collected quite a group of folks now. They are soon to be joined by Leslie and Shelia, also. 

Buffy and Willow watch the wolf and the boy wonder. The slayer watches Xander take a seat completely away from her. 

Giles goes through everything that happened. Oz and Xander run down the whole Rachel thing. 

Oz is given a standing ovation for his work on Lem and company. 

When the meeting is over Xander approaches Buffy. He is very angry but, as usual, he melts in her presence. That is, unless she gets him even more pissed off. 

"Look, Buffy, we're both angry but is our relationship on a level where we can comfort each other until we can talk about it?" 

Buffy wants nothing more than to jump in his arms but sometimes her mouth gets in the way. 

"I don't know. Whose arms were you in last week? Who gave you comfort?" 

"Do we want to get into this, now? It seems to me you found your own comfort." 

She dismisses him while walking away. "Any port in the storm." 

Xander grabs her by the arm. "What?" 

"Get off me, Xander!" 

"Don't say something flip like that to me!" 

"He was here." 

Xander starts to well up. Buffy knows she has to back off. "What are you saying?" 

"Nothing." She starts to walk away, again. He grabs her arm. 

"You walked with him and talked with him and went on patrol with him. How did you think I was going to feel? What kind of talks did you two have? About the old days of you and Angel." 

Xander is really angry now as he continues. 

"I'm trying to save a friend's life and you're fucking me behind my back!" 

Everybody is staring at Xander. 

"Maybe this time you did it, Buffy. I've had enough of your childish bullshit! Angel…he's still plaguing me. You see somebody who looks like him and you go all weak kneed." 

"Oh, I guess Rachel doesn't curl your toes? I guess the whole time you were with her, two weeks alone in a cabin; you never had any tender moments? You were saving her life, Xander. As if she needed any further reason to fall over you. I know you were charming. How far did you go to comfort her, Xander? Huh, how far?" 

"It's not the same thing." 

"Bullshit! You know what I think? I think you allot time for all your girl friends." 

"My girlfriends don't try to hunt you down in alleys and kill your parents! You know what? You're right Buffy and your allotted time is over. I'm going back to Rachel. She's waiting for me between the sheets." 

Xander storms away. He was crying and shaking. Oz looks at Buffy hard. 

"Oz, don't you think Xander drove his point across with enough cruelness?" 

Oz just turns around and leaves.

* * *

Giles schedules all four of our heroes to patrol together. Buffy, Oz and Willow start for the cemetery. Xander catches up to them. At first Buffy's heart soars but then she realizes Xander would never miss an assigned patrol. Slayer protection, his favorite occupation. The duty of every slayerette. 

They walk in very awkward silence. Oz breaks it. 

"Xander, what were you saying about your father. How was he able to get the leadership over Spike?" 

"Spike said something about blood lines. Angel was my father's sire." 

"I thought he was Spike's sire, too?" 

Buffy answers. "I think it has something to do with whether he was dead first." 

"Vampire protocol." 

Oz and Willow take one end of the cemetery. Buffy and Xander the other. 

Oz addresses the redhead. "Are you mad at me, Willow?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"Because you are getting to be hard Oz. And, the way you were looking at Buffy." 

"I'm not hard with you and, Buffy deserves to be looked at that way. That was an Angel look a like. She can't do that to him." 

"All of a sudden you and Xander are best buds." 

"Why not, Will. The only reason we were at odds before was because he was jealous." 

Willow didn't know this. "He was jealous? I thought you were jealous?" 

"You picked me. I wasn't jealous after that. He got over it. He's got a load on him. Most of it because of her. I'm just trying to take up some of the slack." 

Xander and Buffy mope around. He notices she is feeling the ring as if she is guarding it. Xander talks to her. 

"Do you still think about Angel?" 

"Sometimes. Do I think about him as a replacement for you? Don't be ridiculous. Do I compare you? No." 

"What about Lem?" 

"He was easy to talk to unlike you. But, I'm allowed to talk to people, Xander. What did you and Rachel do?" 

She never went to her prom. I rented a Tuxedo and got her a formal gown, which she kept on all night. We danced. She thought she was in heaven." 

"Did you sleep with her, Xander?" 

"No, I didn't. I wouldn't do that to you." 

"Did you kiss her?" 

"I kiss her good bye." 

"You don't think I should be pissed off at you about her?" 

"I didn't but….then I saw how jealous and pissed off I got about Lem. If you felt half as bad as I felt then I am very wrong. I have a new respect for that feeling." 

Buffy starts to cry. "No matter what the reason you had to be with her, it still hurts. I'm not even saying you were wrong. I'm saying it hurts. That's what I want you to understand." 

"I do, now. Buffy…ah…could I possibly kiss you now?" 

"Wait a minute. One more thing. Every time we have a fight I don't want to have to hold on to my ring for dear life…or hide it. I see you looking at it." 

"Now can I kiss you?" 

"Are you going to tell me what your secret argument with Monica was all about?" 

"Before we kiss?" 

She looks at him for a minute. Her hormones get the best of her. They embrace rather passionately. Once Xander's defenses are down he begins to feel the effect of the last couple of days. He is trembling. 

It dawns on Buffy that this whole thing hasn't exactly been a picnic for Xander either. 

He starts crying. Buffy holds him. "Sweetie, I'm sorry. Stay here a minute." 

Buffy finds Willow. "Will, can you guys finish patrol. Xander isn't feeling too good." 

Oz answers. "Our pleasure." He smiles at Buffy. 

"Yes, Oz. I'm going to comfort him." 

Buffy and Xander walk back to his house holding hands. After they go in Buffy paces up and down. 

"I don't know if I'm ever going to get it, Xander. I don't know how to be your soul mate or your girl friend or anything." 

"Buffy…" 

"You had to put up a strong front for me again. You were feeling weak enough to fall apart but you couldn't do it." 

"That's true, Buffy, but I put you through something, too." 

She continues pacing. Xander reaches up to grab her. "I need you right now, Buffy, please." 

Xander is shaking. Buffy holds him. After a few minutes he breaks from her. He has a very hurt look on his face. 

"He looked just like Angel…Was he that fucking appealing?" 

"Xander, I'm sorry. He wasn't appealing romantically at all. Which brings me to Rachel. I know she's appealing to you. You're attracted to her. She…" 

Xander interrupts her. "She's my friend. Why can't you understand that, Buffy?" 

"Maybe if I had more confidence in myself with you." 

"That's my fault, Buffy. There are too many together people around us." 

"Women." 

"What?" 

"Too many really together women. Rachel, Leslie, Monica, Rebecca, Cordelia. The list goes on. All attracted to you." 

He grabs her in a hug. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. But, Rachel was in trouble. She's safe now. Buffy, remember when Rachel saved my life?" 

Buffy nods. 

"I told her it was unfair. I knew how she felt about me. I have you, though. But she said that she saved me for you, then." 

They hug tightly. "I know, Xander. Deep down I know how much you love me but you're so damn dangerous. Every time you go away I think it's the last time I'm going to see you." 

"You're right. I play with fire all the time." 

After a fierce hug and kiss. "Let's do every thing together for awhile." 

"Okay, but for now let me comfort you. You've had a rough time. We need time for healing." 

"I'm all for that." 

Healing one another. One of the more pleasant benefits of having your very own soul mate!

* * *

Go on to Part Nine 

* * *

  
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	28. Chapter 9

* * *

Part Nine--Graduate From Each Other 

* * *

Buffy and Xander put their noses to the grindstone and prepare to graduate. The daemons co-operate as the time draws near. Xander is so far behind he has to spend half his time over Willow's house. If nothing else they renew their friendship. It is a struggle but Xander and Buffy manage to do very well on their exams. Snyder didn't think they had it in them but they did. 

The Slayer has been distant and sullen for the last week. Xander is hoping it was because of exams. They are both over his house. Xander is standing in front of the full-length mirror in his room. Buffy is standing behind him studying his back. 

"See, honey, this is what I'm talking about" 

"What, Buff?" 

"You still have scars all over your back and your stomach!" 

"Yea, Buff, but they'll go away." He smiles at the slayer. 

"Right, until new ones replace those!" 

Xander turns around embracing the slayer. "It's okay, honey, my face is still pretty, right?" 

She breaks from him. "It's not a joke, Xander." 

"Okay, let's stop right here. What is this all about, Slayer?" 

Buffy walks away. Xander follows her. "What, Buffy…what?" 

"I can't talk to you about it" She walks away again. 

Xander is getting upset. 

"What's going on, Buffy?" 

She shakes her head. Xander misses it. 

"Honey, I know we haven't spent any time together lately." 

"That's not it, Xander…forget it!" 

"Fine, I'll see you in school." 

"Whatever!" Buffy starts to leave but stops at the door. She sighs. She turns to look at Xander. 

"Come here, honey." 

Xander walks to her. "I'm sorry." 

They embrace. When they break Buffy gives Xander a warm smile. Then she leaves. 

She goes to Willow's house. The redhead can tell that Buffy is disturbed about something. 

"Let's have it Buffy. What did our dear brother, Xander, do today?" 

"He didn't do anything…he just…I don't know. I just can't take him getting all banged up all the time." 

"Oh, Buffy." 

"What, Will…you should see his body…well, maybe you can just take my word for it. He has scars upon scars. His whole back…" 

She doesn't finish. Willow doesn't know what to say. 

This is one of these things, which everybody knows but nobody talks about. They battle daemons for a living. They get beaten and battered. All the Scooby members do. If you concentrate on that you would never be able to do it. 

Willow knows Xander gets bruised and scarred and battered all the time. She's not stupid. But that is his life choice or destiny or whatever you want to call it. She gets a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Buffy tries to continue the conversation. 

"Willow, Xander has places on his back and legs where he has scars on top of scars. On some places his healing thing takes a long time. And it hurts him too, I can tell. He tries to hide it from me but it hurts him too bad." 

Buffy starts to break down…"Every time he gets…Everytime he gets kicked and punched…Will, I can't…I can't do it anymore" 

Willow has to comfort her. The Witch knows this is not going to turn out good. Xander is not going to stop putting his life on the line for Buffy. That's what he does. That's who he is. 

That night the whole gang goes to the Bronze to celebrate the successful completion of their exams. Buffy is in a really bad mood. She gets there before Xander. Willow has not seen her like this since she and Xander have been together. The redhead knows there is going to be fire works. Buffy is like she use to be when she and Xander were trying to avoid their intense love for one another. Oz looks at the Slayer. That is enough to set her off. 

"Oh, I guess Willow shared my little problem with you. Do you have something to say about it, Oz?" 

The Wolf just continues to look at her. 

"The calm and cool Oz…poor thing…has to put up with the slayer bitch again! Yea, I'm pissed off at him again, Wolf Boy. And as long as your dark side buddy isn't here how about if I take it out on you?" 

Willow hates to do it but she has to get in between Buffy and her soul mate. 

"Buffy, come on Oz has nothing to do with it." 

The situation solves itself as Xander comes strolling up to the table. 

"What's up guys?" 

Xander steps in front of Buffy. "What's up honey?" 

He goes to touch her but she backs away from it. 

"Where the hell were you?" 

"I just had to…" 

She interrupts him. 

"I know you had to throw yourself in front of a speeding train to save a cat….or, no Rachel needed you to stop a knife from coming at her. Did I get it yet?" 

Xander sighs. He knows this is a continuation of their prior talk. 

"Buffy…" 

She interrupts him again. "There were more assassins after me right? Did they shoot you? Ooh, can I see the wounds? I bet they're real neat!" 

She goes to lift up his shirt but he stops her. 

"Buffy, stop it." 

"What's the matter killer? I just want to coo over my protector's wounds. I just get all goose pimply inside when…" 

Xander has had enough. "Let's go somewhere else, Buffy." 

He grabs her by the arm but she knocks it off. "You don't get it do you? I don't want to be with you!" 

"Buffy, stop it!" 

"How did you get to be my body guard anyway? You know what, I don't think you're bad enough anyway. When did we decide that you were big tough man? I don't think you're tough enough for the job." 

She pushes him. "Get out of here, Xander!" She pushes him again. 

"Buffy, what the hell are you doing?" 

Buffy runs out of the Bronze. Xander follows her. 

"Buffy, stop!" He catches up to her. He grabs her in his arms. She fights it at first but then buries herself in his chest crying. 

Xander knows the problem. The slayer has brought it up before. He doesn't know what to do about it though. 

"Xander, I love you…I…can't watch you get hurt. Even with the quick healing thing you're in pain most of the time." 

"That's just part of our job, Buffy." 

"Don't you get what I'm saying Xander? I cannot watch the man I love get hurt all the time." 

"Buffy, will you lighten up?" 

"Didn't you hear what I said?" 

Xander is really getting upset. He walks away from the slayer "I heard what you said, Buffy, but some things are out of our control. Some things are just part of the territory." 

Buffy goes to him grabbing his shoulders very lovingly. "Xander, let's leave. Let's elope. Let's go somewhere where I can learn how to cook and stuff. Let's have children. With our love we can make it, Xander." 

Xander walks from her. He sits down on the curb. She goes to him. 

"Come on, Xander, it will be exciting." 

"Honey, where is this coming from?" 

"From me. The woman you love more than life itself. The woman you live for. The woman…" 

Xander interrupts her. "Look, do you want to take the night off? I'll do patrol." 

"And lay awake wondering if you'll come back? You don't get it! Xander….do you love me?" 

"Stop it, Buffy!" 

"Don't blow me off, Xander, I'm warning you!" 

Xander goes to her. The slayer warms. She caresses his face. 

"Please Xander I love you. I can't keep watching you get tortured and beaten and stabbed. You go off to save Rachel…it goes on and on. Your body, Xander. You have calluses and scars and bruises." 

"So do you, Buffy. Honey, it's a rough life. We know that. You're scaring me, Slayer!" 

"Why, because I can't keep seeing the man I love, the man who beats in my heart. This gentle caring…" 

Xander does not like this at all. 

"Stop it!" 

"Xander, you're changing. You're hard and scary." 

"What are you doing, Buffy? This is dangerous talk!" 

"Please Xander. I am asking you as the woman you love to get me out of this." 

"You need a break, Buffy?" 

"I need a new life, Xander." 

Xander looks her in the eyes. "Buffy, this is what we do, remember?" 

"I'm the slayer. I'm putting it down for a while. You're suppose to be with me so you can go." 

Xander gets very hard and distant. Buffy appeals to him. 

"Sweetie, let's just try it. Come on." 

When she looks into his eyes she can tell that he is not open to anymore discussion about it. She gets up to leave. 

"Where are you going, Buffy?" 

"Something just occurred to me, Xander. You're well suited for this stuff. That's why you adjusted so quickly. You get what you need from it." 

"I get what I need from you, Buffy." 

"You're not even in love with me, Xander." 

"Don't get ridiculous, Buffy." 

"No…you're in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer…" 

"That's who you are, Buffy!" 

"Well maybe I want to give it a rest for awhile." 

Xander lowers his head shaking it from side to side. 

"I'm getting something very disturbing from you, Xander." 

"And, what is that, Buffy?" 

"If I'm not the slayer you're not in love with me anymore." 

"What kind of bullshit analysis is that, Buffy?" 

"You can't take a break. This stuff runs in your veins. You live and breathe it. It consumes you." 

"Good description…of both of us, Buffy! Both of us!" 

"Why can't we take a break?" 

"I can't answer that. That's not fair. Buffy, we can take it easy. We can go to your parents beach house. " 

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it." 

"Yea, I do know it. I'm trying to tell myself you're not really saying it." 

"You're message is coming through loud and clear, Xander." 

"Don't do this, Buffy. I beg you from the bottom of my heart don't force me to make a choice like this." 

Buffy looks at him. This is killing him and she knows it. 

"Buffy, we'll talk to Giles. We'll go to your parents beach house. You don't know. That might do the trick. " 

Buffy breaks down in Xander's arms. After a good cry they go straight to Giles house. Their graduation is in a few days. They arrange to take off for a few days after that. 

All our heroes graduate from good old Sunnydale high with little fanfare. They all look forward to the future…well…some more than others I guess. But even the Scooby gang has some plans. They have a big meeting to discuss Buffy and Xander's brake. 

Willow and Oz, Cordelia, Monica and her sister Cindy are there. Leslie has joined them again fresh from her study with Linda and Stacy. Devon has joined the gang as well as Jim, another member of Oz's band. All will cover so our two heroes can take a short brake. 

Buffy and Xander do go to her parent's beach house. They have a mixture of fun and serious discussion. Buffy talks about it with Willow after they come back. 

"He promised to stay in the background some times." 

"Do you feel better, Buffy?" 

"I don't know Will…I guess if he does what he says he will." 

"You don't look completely convinced, Buffy." 

"I just have to trust him, Willow. But, I don't know. What am I crazy? I don't even know what I'm asking him to do…I only know that I love him so much, Willow." 

Buffy closes her eyes. 

"We're the only ones who have these kinds of problems." 

Buffy looks at the redhead. 

"What happened while we were gone?" 

"Oz loved it. Getting some of the heat off his best bud…he ate it up. He's just like him. Wouldn't even let me take anybody on unless it was totally unavoidable. Everytime a vamp hit me he went postal." 

"I tell you, Willow, it must run in the blood or something. Hell I'm the slayer. He acts like I'm some kind of princess or something." 

The two girls get a twinkle in their eyes at the same time. Buffy looks at Willow. 

"Okay, Willow, say it!" 

"I can't help it, Buffy…they are sooo cool!" 

The slayer has to laugh. "Yes, Will…they are cool." 

They both share a good laugh. 

Giles has some disturbing news at the next meeting. 

"I was visited by an old acquaintance who past on some very disturbing news. It seems as if there is a number of sword wielding creatures after our resident slayer. They are here to settle an old score." 

Buffy immediately responds. 

"Who did I kill to earn this honor, Giles?" 

"Well, it wasn't actually you. By old score I mean very old." 

"Oh, just your average "revenge on the slayer whoever she is now" type thing?" 

"I suppose that is accurate although I wouldn't exactly say it that way." 

"Yes Giles I know but when you say something I have to pay attention too much to get it." 

Giles furrows his brow. "I shall not further investigate the implications of that statement at this time Buffy." 

Willow comments. "You mean you won't go there." 

Giles doesn't get it. 

"Won't go where?" 

Xander interrupts. "Ah, can we get back to the whole sword wielding creatures wanting to kill Buffy thing!" 

The slayer sees the look in Xander's eyes and doesn't like it. 

"He was talking to me, Xander." 

"I know that, Buff." 

Giles continues. "I think we should keep close watch on you until further notice." 

Buffy rolls her eyes. Just what Xander needed to hear, keep close tabs on her. Now he'll be in that "protect the slayer" mode. She looks at him. He smiles at her. 

"See, it's official. I have to stay very close to you." 

Buffy has no problem with Xander staying close to her. That is her favorite position for him. It's when he dives in front of her or on top of her that she doesn't like. 

"Joy, joy, joy!" 

"Buffy, everybody will get the idea you don't want me near you." 

She looks around. "Lavelle, there isn't anyone in the room except you who doesn't understand my problem with your protect the slayer routine." 

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…now just relax." 

He puts his arm around her. "Think of it this way. I am like an extension of you. When I dive in front of you it's just like a part of you doing it." 

When Xander thinks of what he just said he realizes it might have had the opposite effect he desired. 

"Well, maybe we'll forget what I just said." 

Buffy decides to do just that. She gives him a peck on the check and pulls him to walk with her. 

They stroll casually toward his house with the others not far behind. 

"Xander, how did you ever get to be "you"?" 

"I think maybe the Powers that be saw you and decided you needed somebody who would love you and need you and live for you and…" 

Buffy heard enough. 

"Shut up Xander." She gets him in a very passionate kiss. 

"You always know what to say, don't you?" 

"Well, my sweet petunia…" 

She kisses him again. "Just be quiet, Xander." 

"I never get you. You ask me a question. Then when I try to answer…" 

She gets him in still another kiss. 

"Yea, you do that…what's up Blondie?" 

"Xander, you are so stupid in some things it's pathetic. Do you know that?" 

"Well…" 

"Just be quiet!" 

In the bushes just before they get to Xander's house two very ferocious looking beasts pop out with mean looking blades perched above their heads. 

Xander has weapons inside his house. He makes eye contact with Buffy. She signals for him to get them while she does what she can to hold off the beasts. 

In the mean time Giles, Rebecca and the rest catch up. The beasts talk to the slayer. 

Buffy dodges the first couple of swings of these formidable creatures. Xander comes flying out with two swords. Buffy grabs one then looks at Rebecca. 

"Rebecca can you take the other one?" 

Xander speaks up. "Buffy, no!" 

"Xander, you promised you would stay in the background sometimes. This is one of these times." 

Xander doesn't like it but honors Buffy's wishes. He throws Rebecca the other sword. 

These creatures are good but no match for either Buffy or Rebecca. The female twosome defeats these plus two others. 

Xander stayed in the background as asked. Buffy was separated from the others in the battle. As he looks in her direction he spots something which fills him with terror. 

There is a commando type person with a small bazooka looking weapon readying it to fire in the direction of the Slayer. 

Xander begins to run as fast as his legs will carry him toward his forever love. He yells her name as he gets closer. 

By the time she looks up the blast of the weapon has already been heard. Xander leaves his feet in a frantic effort to reach Buffy before the projectile. 

They both get to her at the same time! 

Xander's body is spun around in a horrible twisting circle as the blast smashes into his body. Buffy is thrown clear by the concussion. She rolls on the concrete of the sidewalk bloodying her head and arms. 

Xander's body looks like a smoldering ruin. Most of it is charred black and smoking. It is a miracle that he is still in one piece. The missile must have been some sort of small grenade. Only his face and a small portion of his torso escaped the burns. 

Oz reacts first to the assailant. He chases him through the woods. Fueled by the injury to his best friend the attacker has little chance to escape. Oz tackles him. A short fight later he is subdued. But Oz hesitates as he prepares to stake it. This is not a monster. It's a person, a human being. 

The slight pause is all the person needs to escape. He knocks Oz off of him and runs away. The wolf is left in shock. 

In the meantime Buffy struggles to get up. Deep inside the pit of her soul she has a fear. She looked up and saw the face of the man she loves coming toward her. Then the next thing she knew she heard this horrible sound of metal tearing at flesh. It was the most sickening sound she has ever heard. But she prays that her worst fear is not true. She prays that somehow what just happened was a nightmare or something. Willow and Cordelia and Monica rush to her side while Giles and Rebecca go to Xander. 

Buffy is already realizing that this is no dream. She refuses all help. She gets up slowly ignoring the blood dripping slowly from her head and arm. 

She sees the others gathered around a smoking body. She inches slowly toward it. Giles was blocking her view but he moves to the side giving her a clear look. Of course it is Xander. She has to cover her mouth to keep from throwing up. She falls to her knees as her stomach revolts against the scene before her. 

Dirt has already mixed with the blood and flesh of Xander's body. It is almost indescribable. Giles rushes a blanket around him as Xander's body begins to shiver from the trauma. When the Watcher sees Buffy. 

"Rebecca, please take her away!" 

Buffy doesn't even protest. She is in the state of shock. As soon as Rebecca touches her she collapses into her arms, partly from her wounds and partly from the sight before her. 

Xander is taken away in an ambulance. Another takes the now unconscious Slayer. 

The gang parades into the waiting room in complete silence. Devon is comforting Monica while Jim holds Cordelia. Oz has rejoined the group and is, of course, comforting Willow. Leslie has a blank stare while Giles paces. Rebecca tries to ask all the doctors and nurses if they think Xander will be okay. She is uncharacteristically nervous. Part of her is not sure that Xander's healing power can deal with this massive an injury. 

No one knows. It is too soon to tell. All they keep saying is that he suffered serious burns over at least eighty percent of his body. Rebecca is forced to join the others… and just stare mainly. 

Buffy has the same nightmare over and over. But, it is not really a nightmare. She is recalling what actually happened. There is no chance to wake up from it. At the moment she doesn't really care about much of anything. Not slaying or being the chosen one or in battling evil. Her life has taken the final blow. Even if Xander survives there is still no way to take away the horror of what happened. 

But she cries out quietly to herself. "Please God let him live!" 

Her wounds are cleaned and bandaged and then she joins the others in the waiting room. Everyone looks at her but no one makes a move to go to her. She grabs a seat and stares at the door where the doctors and nurses do their thing. 

After four hours there is finally some word. A doctor comes to the middle of the waiting room. She addresses the gang. 

"Mister Harris suffered severe burns to much of his body. When he first came in no one would have given him a chance to survive two hours. But he has almost miraculously responded to the treatment. It appears that his vital signs are stabilizing. We think he is going to be fine, actually." 

The doctor says this last sentence as if she hardly believes it herself. She continues. 

"If he continues to respond to the treatment he should be able to have visitors in a few hours." 

When the doctor leaves there is a mini-celebration with everyone except Buffy. She leaves, heading to the small chapel near the waiting room. She sits in one of the pews and quietly sobs to herself.

* * *

Go on to Part Ten 

* * *

  
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	29. Chapter 10

* * *

Part Ten--It Was Probably Too Good to be True Anyway 

* * *

A shroud of depression hangs over the Scooby gang. Xander is recovering nicely. Buffy has put her own feelings on hold while he heals but everyone knows something big is coming. Everyone except Xander that is. Everyone else saw the look of horror and terror on Buffy's face when this happened. Willow knows the Slayer has crossed some sort of line. They talk one day on the way to visit Xander. Willow stares at the slayer. 

"You know Buffy you even hid it from Xander because he was out of it with his injury. But, you can't hide it from me." 

Buffy just looks at the redhead. The slayer knows it is no use to try to pretend she doesn't know what Willow is talking about. 

"You're leaving aren't you, Buffy?" 

"Will…I can't do it anymore. I can't even talk about it." 

"Buffy, you know Xander…" 

She interrupts her best friend. "Will, please…I know…" 

She doesn't finish. She doesn't have to finish. 

Xander gets out of the hospital. He knows Buffy is upset. They walk to the park. They sit on a bench. Buffy begins to cry. Xander bends down to her. 

"Honey, I know you're upset. I'm…" 

Buffy interrupts him. "Xander, please, you just saved my sorry life. You don't have to apologize. If you weren't there I'd be dead. Just like with the assassins at the school." 

Xander tries to lighten the mood. "Then I am entitled to a massive reward. Do you agree, slayer?" 

When Buffy doesn't respond to this Xander begins to get worried. 

"Honey, how about if we go dancing tonight? And a movie…my treat…" 

As he tries to continue Buffy cuts him off. 

"Stop it Xander. You know everything is not okay. It isn't going to be solved by us going to a movie or dancing and you know it!" 

Xander closes his eyes. He can feel a knot forming in his stomach. Something comes to him. He opens his eyes and stands up in front of the Slayer. He looks at her with a very serious gaze. He knows what she is planning to do. She is leaving. She is actually leaving. He can barely speak. 

"No…no Buffy…no Buffy." 

He starts to back away from her. There are few things that can truly shake his world. But, this is one of them. Major league upheaval. Acute, intense, alarming news! Buffy tries to comfort him. 

"Honey, I love you so much. We have a storybook romance." 

Xander can only say one thing. "You're…you're leaving, aren't you?" 

Buffy starts sobbing. She buries herself in Xander's chest. He can't help it. He has to comfort her. But then he stiffens in her arms. When she breaks from him she looks into his eyes. What she sees there terrifies her. 

Xander has a look that Buffy has never seen before. At least not directed at her. It is hard and dark and lacking in all compassion and feeling. 

"Xander, don't you understand. I can't watch you get hurt anymore. I…" 

"You can't watch me get hurt? What is that, a joke? You're driving a stake through my heart, Buffy!" 

The boy leaves Buffy standing there sobbing uncontrollably. This is the worst day of his entire life. Buffy might second that feeling. But, she can't help it. She hasn't slept peacefully since the incident. Every time she closes her eyes she sees him all burned and charred. And she can hear that sickening thud of the missile hitting his body. 

She can't do it. She has to leave. She doesn't know much past that. 

She has a talk with Giles and Rebecca who are quite supportive. She decides to leave in a few days. Xander completely ignores her. He won't answer his phone or his door. Buffy finally traps him at his thinking place by the Sunnydale Library. 

"Xander, you have to talk to me. I just wanted to tell you that I understand that you can't go." 

"I'm glad you understand something, Buffy, because I sure don't." 

"You can't understand the pain of seeing your lover mutilated and beaten. You can't understand I'm tired. " 

She gets very close to him. "Honey, you can't take this personally." 

"What? What the hell are you talking about Buffy? After all this time you still don't get the picture? You're my life, Buffy! Don't do this! Don't do it, Buffy!" 

Both of them cry in each other's arms without saying another word. When they break Xander stares at the Slayer for a minute then turns and walks away. Buffy doesn't try to stop him. 

She only tells her family she needs to get away, very little else. 

The whole gang except Xander accompanies her to the bus station. Buffy addresses Giles. 

"Did you see him, Giles?" 

The watcher lowers his head without saying a word. She gets the message. 

After a few silent minutes Xander joins them. Buffy runs to him but he doesn't respond to her hug. He reaches into his pocket pulling out a roll of bills. He hands them to the slayer. 

"I know you just want to take off to nowhere but it can get bad on the streets. It's a different kind of scary. Take this money and use it." 

"Xander, I…" 

He puts his finger to her lips quieting her. He turns and walks away. Buffy watches him disappear down the street. It is a sad, sad scene. Nobody knows what to say. They stand stunned as she boards the bus. Only Rebecca and Willow hug her. The bus rolls down the road. 

Giles addresses everyone. "We have to have a meeting this evening. Everyone has to be there. What are our chances of getting Xander there? Who is going to talk to him?" 

"All eyes fall to Monica. She is embarrassed. "Me, Giles? I don't know." 

Cordelia adds a comment. "Whoever does it better wear their combat hat. He'll be ready to pounce! I think we should meet without him." 

Giles is taken aback by her statement. "Without him?" 

Cordelia continues. "I for one would like to know what the hell just happened? Did our slayer just run out on us? Is she coming back? If not do we get another slayer? 

Giles gets everyone together. Xander doesn't show. Willow, Oz, Monica, Cindy, Devon, another member of the band, Jim and Cordelia fill Giles' house. 

The watcher starts. 

"Okay, as we all know Buffy is gone. For how long we don't know. It is going to be very hard without her but we will make it" 

Xander walks into the house. Giles lets out a sigh of relief. He continues. 

"We will do patrols a little differently. I fully expect increased activity when the daemon world learns of the absence of our slayer. It will become very dangerous." 

Rebecca adds. "We really have to look out for each other." 

The first week everything is normal. Buffy's departure has not registered yet in the evil community. 

Monica has been patrolling with Xander. She has been trying to communicate with him but he is very hard and distant. Willow can't reach him either. 

On the second week of the patrol Monica and Xander both sense the presence of very heavy evil. Monica stops. 

"Xander, do me a favor, just for tonight. Don't attack anybody real evil!" 

Before the boy can respond Spike and Drusilla appear flanked by five other vampires. Spike looks Monica up and down. 

"Cruising with some new blood, Harris?" 

"Well, we take turns." 

"Where's the slayer?" 

"You just missed her. She's getting some coffee." 

Spike laughs. "You're a lousy liar but, you are funny!" 

"Yea you're right, Spike. Well, even slayers get sick. She has the flu. Do you ever get the flu, Dru? Do vampires even get the flu?" 

Spike goes along with this. "I haven't had a sniffle this century, actually." 

Xander responds sarcastically, "Another advantage to no soul." 

"I told you to try it Harris. It's not as bad as you think." 

Spike stares a hole in Xander and Monica before continuing. 

"I thought we were the ones who were suppose to do all the bad stuff, like lie through the teeth. Where's Buffy mate?" 

"Alright Spike you've always been straight with me. The bitch left!" 

Monica jumps at the bitterness in Xander's voice. 

Spike is genuinely surprised. "And left you holding the bag? All the shit you did for her? All this wheeling and dealing you do for her. You should have let Angel have her, bloke." 

"You know how it goes, Spike, they make ass holes of us all." 

"Harris, it's going to be a shame when we have to face off. You have a lot of style. I told you to stay with Rachel. She's the loyal type…thanks for the news." 

They disappear into the night. Xander curses at no one in particular. 

"Son of a bitch! I knew it was only a matter of time." 

Monica is staring at Xander with her mouth open. "Do you always have to have conversations with him like that?" 

"Grow up, Monica, will you? It's only locker room banter." 

She doesn't back down. "The bitch left! Is that how you refer to your soul mate and the crisis she's going through?" 

Xander just shrugs his shoulders. "Come on, Monica, I'll walk you home." 

She keeps looking at him. "When are you going to stop this?" 

He doesn't answer. She continues. "When are you going to, first of all, deal with this? And then come back to our side?" 

Xander faces her. "What are you talking about, Monica?" 

"I'm talking about you. You're so goddamn hard you scare everyone, including me. You even scared Buffy to death. No wonder she left!" 

As soon as Monica says that she wishes she hadn't. He stares at her hard. 

"Fuck you, Monica!" 

"Look, Xander, it kills me to say this to you. But part of Buffy's problem is seeing what she has done to you. All the things that were done to you, Xander. If you don't control yourself you're going to become as evil as anything out there. And that's the reason it was done to you in the first place." 

She grabs him. "Do you understand that? Does that penetrate your hard ass shell? Is that what you want?" 

Xander closes his eyes. "She left! She just left! My insides are aching. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do." 

Monica is beside herself now. Xander is really opening to her. She is reluctant to comfort him. She wants to be loyal to the slayer. 

"I don't know what you're going to do Xander. I only know she's suffering, too." 

Xander jumps on her for saying this. "I don't care what she's suffering! Whatever it is she should be suffering it here! I don't want to hear it. Of all the shit she's pulled this is it! This is the one that broke the Camel's back." 

Monica stands right up to him. "Are you going to let it destroy you, Xander? Are you going to get so damned hard none of your friends are going to be able to get anywhere near you?" 

Xander closes his eyes. Monica sees an in to continue. 

"Nobody wants to even talk to you, Xander. They're afraid of you." 

The boy knows she is right. Whatever pain he feels he can't let it turn him or destroy him. He opens his eyes. 

"You're right, Monica, you really are." 

He reaches for her. They hug tightly. Monica can feel his tears hitting her back. As they part they look deep into each other. Monica's beauty resonates deep inside Xander. They have a tight bond even without any emotional circumstances to help it along. Monica wants Xander so bad she can barely breathe when she is this close to him. Her identity is intertwined with his. 

They stare at each other very intensely. They have never shared a kiss. Xander closes his eyes. This gives Monica the strength to pull away from him. She swore she was not going to take advantage of this crises but it gets harder and harder! 

When Xander opens his eyes he walks away from Monica. She stares at him until she can catch her breath.

* * *

Buffy stares out the window of a Diner. She is eating here again. She can barely keep her head above water. When she got here she used part of the money Xander gave her to get a motel room. She didn't leave it for three days. She mostly cried. 

When she finally came out she got a job in a Launder-mat. She works. She eats. She sleeps. She needs time to clear her head. Unconsciously she grips at her ring, his heart. But, she has consciously tried to block everything out.

* * *

Xander has never felt worse in his life. His true love has left him. She didn't say it was for good but she didn't say anything about coming back either. It would be much easier if he could understand why she left. It tortures him. 

It is torturing Monica, also. She knows the slayer had to leave to save her sanity. Monica has loyalty to Buffy. But, what about her loyalty to Xander? He is in awful condition. She knows she could comfort him. He is very weak right now. It is going to get rough in the coming days and Xander will need all the strength he can muster to cope with it. 

And, what about her? She's in the battle, too. She has needs. Xander could fill those needs. Her insides are screaming for her to be with him. She decides to pay Cordelia a visit. 

"Cordelia, have you seen Xander, lately?" 

"Actually I've been spending a lot of time with Devon." 

"He is really hurting." 

"Of course he is, Monica, she just left him cold." 

"I've been spending time with him but I've been feeling guilty about it." 

"She just left, Monica. Buffy is a very smart girl. She knows it is crowded behind her." 

"Do you think she still loves him?" 

"Yes." 

"Do you think he…" 

Cordelia interrupts her. "Next question! But I do think she really hurt him. He takes this very seriously and he does it for her." 

"He is getting so damn hard." 

Cordelia is anticipating what Monica is thinking and feeling. 

"Monica, we owe allegiance to Buffy. But we also owe allegiance to Xander." 

"I'm afraid if I…" 

Cordelia interrupts again. "You love him, don't you?" 

Monica starts crying. "God forgive me." 

Cordelia hugs her. "He'll never stop loving her no matter what. He does have feelings for you, Monica. It's not hard to tell that but they don't come close to what he feels for his Buffy." 

"You sound like you speak from experience." 

"Yes…I do. Besides his love for his Buffy he would wear me out in a few months. He's too much for Buffy too but she'd never admit it. He needs somebody like you who can match him brick for brick." 

"You have a unique way of voicing your opinion, Cordelia." 

"He needs somebody, Monica. It should be Buffy. He's going to go off the deep end if he doesn't get some TLC. Go for it, Monica. Just know before you get hurt that he belongs to her and he always will." 

Monica likes to talk to Cordelia. She always tells the clear truth. The one thing which the brunette said that really moved Monica is the fact that she can match Xander brick for brick. Cordelia is right. She can stand up to him most of the time. She would be good for him, especially now.

* * *

Xander goes to visit Giles. 

"Giles, I'm torn up inside." 

"I'm sorry, Xander." 

"I can't do anything right." 

Giles is afraid Xander is going to fall apart. That would be disastrous with the slayer gone. 

"Look, Xander. Everyone knows how much you love Buffy. And, she knows how much you love her. But she is not here now. Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself sharp. You are the key now, Xander. I'm afraid our little group is going to be taxed beyond it's limits. Buffy will have to be adult enough to know that we face an almost impossible situation and you have needs, too. If she isn't going to be here…" 

The watcher doesn't finish but Xander gets his drift. 

The vamps get to be daring. A McDonalds is attacked. In another part of town a frat party is brutally broken up. 

The gang divides itself into groups of twos to patrol and to double check one another. 

Xander and Monica, Oz and Shelia, Willow and Amy, Devon and Cordelia, Giles and Rebecca form the duos. 

Xander waits for Monica outside her house. He remembers doing this so often with Buffy. Monica has her own thing going. She wears faded jeans with black sweater and a green bandana keeping her hair back. Xander can't help but to notice her. Xander is dressed in his jeans, black tee shirt and his Longshoreman's cap. 

He looks at her. "Woman, we are dressed to kick some ass!" 

Monica smiles. "Can I say something to you without you getting mad at me?" 

"Give it a shot." 

"You're a pretty sexy looking vampire hunter." 

"Well, just between you and me, sweetheart, if you were any sexier I don't think I could pay attention to the vamps." 

Monica definitely likes this. "I didn't think you ever noticed." 

"Are you kidding, Monica!" 

Xander goes to her. He puts his arm around her. "Didn't you ever notice that when we fight we do it back to back?" 

"Yea, I thought that was just the way you fight." 

"If I had to look at you I don't think I could concentrate on the vamps. In fact I can't even look at you while we walk down the street." 

Xander makes an exaggerated movement with his head to look away from her. 

"You're crazy, aren't you, Xander?" 

"Well, Monica Gentry, I need to keep my concentration." 

He looks at her. "If I was looking at you all the time…you know…like I am now…" 

They gaze at each other. Xander was only half kidding. They can barely be together without feeling that intensity. The intensity that neither of them can understand…or control. 

Xander has to close his eyes to break it off. 

"Phew! Monica, honey, let's patrol." 

He grabs her hand and they proceed to the cemetery. 

About half way through the patrol Xander begins to have a really heavy feeling, an evil feeling. Like something out of the ordinary is going to happen. 

With Buffy gone Xander tries to check on anyone who is on patrol that night. Oz and Shelia were doing down town. He and Monica go toward them. 

Oz is surrounded by three attackers while Shelia is battling two vamps herself. She manages to stake one but the other is fast enough to slam her up against a car. Oz tries desperately to help her but is stabbed by one of the beasts on him. Both recover to win this battle but are quickly set upon by four more. 

Xander and Monica rush to help. In the mean time Shelia is nailed with a two by four and then smashed on the shoulder with a beer bottle. Oz is still bleeding from his knife wound and takes a direct hit with a metal pipe. 

The Boy Wonder flies into the vamps. Monica joins him but is very worried about Shelia. 

"Xander, Shelia is out of it. We have to get her away from here." 

Xander looks at Oz. "Oz, man, lets battle down to your van. You have to get Shelia out of here." 

"I hear you man!" 

It is not as easy as it sounds but they get there. Monica is bleeding from her shoulder. There are at least 6 on them now. 

Xander takes a look at Monica's arm. 

"Monica, go with them!" 

"And leave you out here, not a chance, Xander." 

She goes flying into two of the attackers. 

"Damn it, Monica!" He looks at Oz. "Okay, Oz, take off!" 

"I'll drop her off and I'll be back man!" 

"I'll be counting on it bro." 

Xander and Monica are on fire. They are making short work of their attackers but there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. They just keep coming. Both our heroes are bleeding from various places. 

Xander notices a fire escape across the street. 

"Monica, lets fight our way toward that fire escape!" 

They barely make it. Monica climbs up while Xander tries to kick a vamp off the other side. Finally he joins her, picking up the ladder as he goes. 

As the vamps fumble around for a way to follow them Monica and Xander make it to the roof. They run the length of the building then jump to an adjacent roof. They run behind a large refrigeration unit. They both fall to the ground huffing and panting. 

Monica takes off her bandana using it to stop Xander's head from bleeding. 

"Thanks." They get up. They run to the end of the block but then can go no further. 

"Shit!" 

They try to run to either side but there is nowhere else to run. They sit down to rest. 

"Maybe we lost them Xander. Do you think we lost them?" 

He looks at her. "I'll think it if you'll think it." 

They double check all sides. Monica does notice a swimming pool 10 floors below one of the sides. They sit down again to rest. 

Six vamps are heading their way. They look at each other. Xander talks. 

"Let's get them out in the open, Monica." 

Xander tries to get up but Monica grabs his arm. She has a very funny look on her face. 

"Xander, I'm sorry for this…" 

She embraces him in a very passionate kiss. When they break. 

"Wow, Monica, what was that?" 

"I can't die without having known what it is to kiss you, Xander. I'm sorry." 

They maneuver the vamps to the middle of the roof. They are both on fire again. When it gets down to two vamps the monsters hang back. Xander looks at them. 

"Come on! What the hell is the matter with you two?" 

"Shit Xander, look, they're afraid of you. Two vampires afraid of you. That's what your rep is. I told you you were getting hard!" 

"Well excuse me. Would you like it better if they were attacking us?" 

They see at least ten more coming. 

"Well, this might be it, Monica." 

"No it's not." She grabs his hand. She walks him over to the side of the building where the swimming pool lies below. She looks at him. 

"We're going to jump into that." 

"Yea, sure we are. Let's go back to back Monica." 

"No, Xander, I can't fight off any more. Let's jump." 

He looks down. "Are you crazy?" 

"No, we can make it." 

"No we can't. Now lets go fight!" 

Monica looks into his eyes. "What's the problem? We'll just jump into the pool. Come on!" 

"No!" 

"Xander, don't be stupid!" 

"I want to fight them!" 

Monica grabs one end of her bandana and offers the other end to Xander. 

"Take it Xander and we'll jump. It will work." 

"Damn you Monica, I can't swim, okay!!!" 

Monica starts laughing. "You can't swim?" 

"No I can't so lets go fight them!" 

"Are you crazy Xander? You don't have to know how to swim. The fall will probably kill us!" 

He looks down again. They back up about twenty yards. The vamps are closing in fast. Xander stares into Monica's face. He grabs her, launching into a passionate a kiss as they had shared earlier. 

Monica staggers out of it, staring at him. 

"Wow, so that's what it is like. Phew!" 

"What, it was my turn!" 

Xander grabs the other end of the bandana. They fly off the roof 

"AAAHHHHHHH, SSSHHHITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

They slam into the water below. Luckily they land in the deep end. Xander passes out from the impact but Monica manages to drag him out. A little CPR later and the Boy Wonder is conscious. 

"Xander…we have to get out of here." 

"Thanks for saving my life, Monica." They embrace warmly. 

They head back to Xander's house. They call Giles then pass out in each other's arms. It was a very long night to say the least.

* * *

Part Eleven Coming Soon 

* * *

  
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	30. CHAPTER 11

TITLE: It's Never Easy 11\?  
  
AUTHOR: Rick  
  
E-MAIL: rsieber2001@bigmailbox.net  
  
DISCLAIMER: All the Buffy characters belong to Joss Whedon and others  
  
SUMMARY: This is the third part of long, long B\X story which I started writing a few years ago. It won't make any sense without reading the other parts first. "Real Love Can Take Some Time", "It's Worth It If It's Going To Last Forever". Angelus noticed that Buffy was beginning to have feelings for Xander so he started terrorizing him. Buffy tried to hold on to her love for her Angel but Xander was getting to her in a major way. Finally she saw it was he and not Angel deep within her. B\X happened but the angst and pathos didn't end. They are the two heaviest young people on the planet so nothing is easy. Xander is not completely human. He belongs to a group known simply as "One Of Them". His destiny is to be with Buffy. The Slayer, however, can not accept that Xander was chosen to help protect her. He keeps getting himself all banged up for her. The last straw is when he gets in front of a mortar rocket meant for her. The sight of Xander all bloodied and close to death is too much for her. It is bad enough she has to face danger and death all the time. She cannot take her soul mate getting hurt all the time. She leaves. They are both devastated without each other. Xander has a friend named Monica who is part of the group along with Xander's mentor, Rebecca, Willow, Oz, Cordelia, Devon, Giles and a witch named, Shelia. Monica is also "One Of Them". With Xander devastated by Buffy's leaving will he embrace Monica to ease the pain?  
  
CHAPTER 11\? YOUR CRISIS IS OVER, SLAYER!  
  
Xander and Monica wake in much pain. Last night was one of those times when survival is merely a question of chance. They are still alive but, it could have ended differently. It is better to not even talk about it. They look at one another in understanding. Monica breaks the stare.  
  
"We better get to Giles's house. The meeting is in an hour."  
  
"Okay, you do a shower first."  
  
After cleaning up they go to Giles's house. The whole gang is at the meeting, hugs all around. Xander talks to Shelia.  
  
"Are you okay, Shelia?"  
  
"I am, Xander, but it was terrifying."  
  
After they spread the news of the night with each other Giles speaks.  
  
"Everybody did a good job last night. Unfortunately, we have to go back at it again tonight."  
  
Everybody has trouble again. Cordelia teams up with Oz's band mate, Devon. They have to very painfully fight off an attack close to a warehouse. After the kill they notice at least ten more vamps unloading a truck. They mark the spot.  
  
Jessie and Cindy have to battle three very angry deamons before they even reach the cemetery. Both are wounded in the battle.  
  
Giles and Rebecca have similar luck. Rebecca does a very good job with her sword. At night's end they all go back to Giles's house. Cordelia voices the concern for all of them.  
  
"Giles, what is going on here? It was never this bad before."  
  
"It would appear something is in the works."  
  
Xander looks at everyone's wounds. He is very concerned.  
  
"Giles, there has to be another way to fight them. There's too many of them to just do our regular night thing."  
  
Rebecca answers. "Giles and I have been talking about that, Xander. We have to strike back somehow."  
  
"During the day, right?"  
  
Giles considers it. "That is an idea, Xander."  
  
Monica adds. "We know at least two places they are very active."  
  
Xander gets very enthusiastic. "Let's raid the bastards."  
  
Cordelia does not like this at all. "We're not commandos, Xander."  
  
"We're not going to be anything if this keeps up."  
  
Giles tries to formulate a plan. "We should do surveillance first. Xander. You and Monica see what you can find out at that warehouse." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy is in the restaurant again. She has eaten the last two meals with the owner of the place. His name is Roger. He sees her as distant and pre- occupied.  
  
"You must have left something very heavy behind."  
  
Buffy doesn't answer. "Is it that bad, Buffy?"  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Roger. Look, thanks for the meal."  
  
"Buffy, you don't have to thank me but, you are one sad puppy. Let me take you somewhere tonight, it might do you some good."  
  
"Okay, if you don't mind me ruining your outing."  
  
Roger just gives her a sad smile. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander is staring into space. Whenever he lets his mind go it wanders to Buffy, of course. He still doesn't understand it but he worries about her all the time. He knows he can't really survive without her.  
  
But, then there is.Monica. They have become closer than ever. They are walking from their surveillance sight. She notices his sad face.  
  
"Are you okay, Xander?"  
  
Xander looks very intently into her eyes. It makes Monica very nervous.  
  
Laughing nervously. "Come on, Xander, what are you doing? Don't look at me like that."  
  
Xander stops closing his eyes. Monica stops in front of him.  
  
"Come on, Xander, no mysterious stuff. I'm going to."  
  
Xander gets very close to her. He begins to outline her facial features with his hand. Monica can't help it. She leans into his touch. Xander leans her back against the building wall and begins to reach for her lips. She can't help it. This is too sudden. She can't do anything other than what her heart is telling her to do. What her heart has been telling her to do since she met Xander. She becomes a very willing participant grasping at any part of Xander's mouth she can reach.  
  
They both start to cry from the intensity. Xander breaks the kiss suddenly.  
  
"Who's.who's house is.closer?"  
  
Monica can barely breathe. "Ah.ah, yours I think."  
  
Xander grabs Monica's hand and starts to hurry toward his house. Right as they are about to enter Monica stops. She is in full crying mode. Xander looks at her.  
  
Xander pulls her. "Monica, come on!"  
  
The brunette doesn't move. "No, Xander."  
  
"What do you mean no. Don't try to tell me you don't want me!"  
  
"Stop it you bastard!"  
  
"Monica, what the hell is going on, I thought you loved me?"  
  
Monica gets very angry. "And you'd take advantage of that too wouldn't you stud!"  
  
"What, you mean to tell me you don't want this, Monica? What the hell are you trying to do to me. Or yourself, you're higher than a kite!"  
  
"Don't try to make me the problem, Xander. I want you with every fiber of my being and you know it. But I only want you if you're all here."  
  
Xander is still angry. "Don't you think it's kind of late for that type of analysis Ms always does the right thing?"  
  
"So we're attracted to each other, so what?"  
  
"I'm glad you can dismiss it that easily!"  
  
"I'm not your whore, Xander!"  
  
"Oh yea, that really fits here. What the hell is that suppose to mean?"  
  
"It means someone else is deep in your heart, solve that little problem first!"  
  
Monica begins to walk away but Xander follows her. "You're a bitch, aren't you?"  
  
"You'll thank me in the morning!"  
  
"Thanks a lot, friend!"  
  
Monica stops. She takes a deep breath. She turns back to him.  
  
"Don't do this to me again, Xander."  
  
They stare at each other for a minute. Xander knows Monica is right. And maybe the strongest woman he's ever met next to Buffy. He breaks down. Monica doesn't hesitate. She embraces him. After a few moments he breaks the hug.  
  
"Monica, I'm sorry.I didn't mean to.do this. I just hurt so bad."  
  
Monica tries to calm her spirits. This was by far the hardest thing she has ever done. She had the man of her dreams in her arms ready to take her. Her strength even amazes her.  
  
"I know, Xander. I don't want to know but I do."  
  
They walk to the surveillance site in silence. Monica begins to focus the binoculars to the warehouse. Xander sits down against the wall.  
  
"Monica, how did you ever get to be so strong?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your will power. How could you stop what we were doing?"  
  
"Don't go there, Xander.oh my God!"  
  
Xander gets up. Monica looks at him with her eyes widened. "We're in trouble, Xander!"  
  
She hands the binoculars to him. "Holy shit!"  
  
What they see is a mammoth looking creature perhaps eight feet tall and as wide as a small car with scaly skin and ugly horns. It looks as if it just crawled out of hell and is very angry about being disturbed.  
  
Monica starts clicking picture after picture of it and the surrounding variety of smaller creatures. Xander grabs her hand.  
  
"We've seen enough Monica, lets go get Giles."  
  
The Watcher gets everyone together as Xander and Monica arrive. They share the pictures.  
  
"Look at these and weep my fellow daemon fighters!"  
  
A sense of dread comes over everyone. Cordelia offers her view.  
  
"Ah, watcher man, count me out of this one!"  
  
After a few more minutes of looking at what they're up against Giles and Xander stare at each other. They both seem to have reached the same conclusion. Xander voices it.  
  
"Giles, we're good. All of us are very good now but not that good!"  
  
Giles agrees. "You're right, Xander. I knew we had a limit and this is it."  
  
Xander gets up. He takes a quick look at Monica before he speaks.  
  
"Giles, we have to get her back."  
  
The watcher adds. "Whether she wants to come or not."  
  
Willow states the obvious. "One problem, where is she?"  
  
Xander has an answer. "The one thing I've learned about this place. With somebody as important as Buffy.somebody knows where she is."  
  
Xander walks up to Monica. "Could we go in the other room a minute, Monica?"  
  
They go into the kitchen. Monica talks first. "I get it Xander, okay."  
  
"We have to go get her, Monica, what else can we do?"  
  
"Didn't you hear me, I said I get it!"  
  
She starts to walk away but Xander grabs her arm. "What, Xander?"  
  
He just sighs. "Nothing."  
  
Rebecca notices that Monica is very upset. She goes to her. "Let's take a walk, Monica."  
  
Monica can't hide her tears as she walks with Rebecca.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey."  
  
"Rebecca.I know we need her. I know it inside but."  
  
"Monica, you are amazing. More at this point in what you haven't done than in what you've done."  
  
"I don't feel amazing, Rebecca."  
  
"Does he want you to go with him?"  
  
There is something Monica has to tell Rebecca. "On the way here Xander started kissing me. We.we were headed to his house to."  
  
She stops talking as the tears invade her. Rebecca waits until she composes herself.  
  
"Rebecca, I almost let myself go. I wanted him so bad."  
  
"But you stopped?" "He would never have forgiven himself. He misses her so badly."  
  
Rebecca can't help herself. She begins to cry. This woman before her is amazing. She embraces her.  
  
"Monica, I have never met anyone like you. Your interior strength is amazing!"  
  
After a few minutes Monica composes herself. "I guess I should go with him, right? To make sure he doesn't blow her away when he sees her."  
  
"Yes, don't let him destroy her with his anger."  
  
They go back to the house. Monica goes to Xander. "Let's go get her."  
  
"You'll come with me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Thank you, Monica."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
